Heart Trouble

by Jae

  Two others bore Hope’s name too. Jeez. She fumbled the letters and donation forms out of the envelopes.

  “Don’t worry about it,” Jill said. “When Crash and I first got together, I was shooting a scene with another actress, and it took us four takes because I kept calling her ‘Crash’ instead of ‘Cath.’ Everyone on the set knew exactly where my mind was.” She regarded Laleh with an indulgent smile. “It’s great to see you so happy and in love.”

  Still blushing, Laleh peeked over at Hope, who was sitting cross-legged on the living room floor next to Crash, Jordan, and several of Jill’s friends and colleagues. All of them were stuffing envelopes for the MS Walk.

  As if sensing Laleh’s attention, Hope looked up. Their gazes met from across the room, and for a moment, the chatter of all the other people Jill had lured into helping seemed to recede.

  “It’s not that,” she murmured without looking away from Hope.

  Jill chuckled. “Of course not. You’re not in love with her at all.”

  “What?” With effort, Laleh tore her gaze away from Hope. “Uh, no. I mean, yes, of course I am. She completes me in ways that I never thought possible, and at the same time, she challenges me to grow and try out new things.” She massaged her right forearm, which was still sore from yesterday’s activities.

  Jill playfully covered her ears with her hands. “TMI, my friend, TMI.”

  If she continued like that, Laleh’s blush might become permanent. “I’m not talking about…that! She’s teaching me to play squash.”

  “Squash, hm? Is that what they call it nowadays?”

  “Jill, please! Get your mind out of the gutter.”

  “Okay, okay.” Jill held up her hands. “So what’s up with her name on the envelopes?”

  “My aunt suggested that I bring Hope to the family picnic next week, and I’ve been thinking about it all day. I would really like to bring her, but I’m not sure it’s a good idea.”

  “Is your mother still calling you five times a day to convince you you’re just confused?” Jill asked.

  Laleh shook her head. “No, thank God she stopped doing that. But that doesn’t mean she’s suddenly supportive of Hope and me.”

  “But maybe it means she’s ready for the next step toward being supportive.”

  Laleh hoped with all her heart that Jill was right, but she had her doubts. She searched her friend’s eyes. “So you think I should ask my parents if I can bring Hope to the picnic?”

  “No,” Jill said without hesitation. “Don’t ask them. Just tell them that’s what you’re going to do. Get them used to the fact that you don’t need their permission and will make your own choices when it comes to your love life.”

  Laleh stared down at Hope’s name on the envelope. She hadn’t thought about it that way, but Jill was probably right. “Thank you, Jill. I think that’s good advice.”

  “You’re welcome.” Jill looked at something on the other side of the living room. “Speaking of advice… You might want to tell Hope’s friend that her attempts to flirt with Shawn are futile. She’s straight.”

  Laleh glanced over at the exact moment Jordan took a stack of donation forms that Jill’s colleague held out to her and let their hands brush as if by accident. “That didn’t stop her from flirting with me when we first met.”

  “Well, it turns out you’re not so straight after all,” Jill said.

  Laleh watched Hope lick an envelope, the tip of her tongue swiping across the gum. A shiver went through her. “No.” She had to pause so she could clear her throat. “Apparently, I’m not.”

  “So, will you do it?”

  A hundred images of what she’d like to do to Hope shot through Laleh’s mind, dusting her cheeks with another blush.

  Jill laughed. “Now who’s got her mind in the gutter? I’m talking about whether you will take Hope to the family picnic.”

  “I knew that.” Laleh looked over at Hope, who again raised her head just in time to meet her gaze. Hope had given up her free day to help with Jill’s MS fundraiser. She deserved a partner who stood up for her. Laleh reached for new envelopes and gave a firm nod. “I will.”

  * * *

  “Are you sure this is a good idea?” Hope asked as Laleh parked her Toyota a few blocks from Echo Park Lake and they got out of the car. “I don’t mind staying home.”

  Even without their link, Laleh could feel the tension radiating off her in waves. She was just as nervous as Hope, but she shook her head. “No. Staying indoors on Sizdah Bedar is considered to be bad luck. You said you wanted to respect our traditions, remember?”

  “I don’t want to spoil the picnic for you,” Hope said quietly.

  At the edge of the park, Laleh pulled her to a stop by their joined hands. “You won’t. If anything, it will be my parents who spoil the picnic, not you. I want to share this—and the rest of my life—with you, so my family needs to get used to it.” She knew it was a huge commitment, and in her past relationships, those words had never felt right, so she had avoided them. Now they expressed exactly what she wanted.

  Hope’s eyes widened; then something in her blue irises softened, making them look like melting ice. “I want that too,” she got out, her voice husky, and tugged Laleh closer.

  They came together in a soft kiss, and Laleh stopped caring that some of her relatives might see them if they entered the park at the same time. Once they broke the kiss, they entwined their fingers and walked toward the artificial lake at the center of the crowded park.

  Families, many of them Persian, were on blankets, enjoying the sun, while others had taken pedal boats out onto the lake. The beat of drums echoed across the water, and the scent of corn and grilled meat drifted over.

  If circumstances had been different, Laleh could have enjoyed this beautiful day.

  “Hey, Laleh!” one of her cousins shouted. “Over here!”

  Her family had staked claim to a barbecue pit. Very likely, her father had set out before sunrise to secure this spot for them.

  Dozens of gazes rested on them, most of them disapproving.

  Every instinct in Laleh screamed at her to let go of Hope’s hand, but she stubbornly hung on and didn’t allow Hope to withdraw either. With her heart beating louder than the drums, she approached her family.

  Her father pretended not to see her because it took his full attention to keep an eye on the kabab skewers. Her mother, however, stared at their joined hands as if Laleh were holding on to a snake.

  Laleh had to unclench her teeth before she could speak. “Hi, everyone. Some of you have met her already, but this is Hope.” She took a deep breath. “My girlfriend.”

  A few of her relatives mumbled hesitant greetings while others just stared.

  Aunt Nasrin got up from her picnic blanket, grabbed Hope, and planted smacking kisses on her cheeks. “It’s so nice to see you again.”

  Laleh was so grateful, she could have cried.

  Jen dragged Navid up to greet Hope and Laleh. Soon, they were seated next to Laleh’s brother and sister-in-law on another blanket. Food was passed around, and someone piled up Laleh’s and Hope’s plates too, but they were both too tense to eat much.

  Laleh nibbled on an olive and almost spat it back out. Ugh. She had forgotten that she had enjoyed the way they tasted only because of their link. Well, at least she still liked mint chocolate chip ice cream. She would need a pint of it once this was over.

  Everyone’s gazes were still on them, and she did her best to ignore them.

  Laleh’s niece, Zarah, ran over to her grandmother and tugged on her sleeve. “Maman Bozorg, why don’t you like Hope anymore?” Her voice was loud enough to carry to the rest of the group.

  Everyone stopped eating and waited for the reply.

  Laleh’s mother pressed her lips together. “You’re too young to understand.”

  “I’m seven.” Zarah straightened her small frame and turned toward her father. “Is it because of her hair?”

  Ramin star
ed down at his daughter. “Uh, no. We… It’s not that we don’t like her. It’s just…”

  Yeah. Try explaining that. Laleh barely resisted the urge to smirk at her squirming brother. She held Hope’s hand a little more tightly.

  “We do like her,” Aunt Nasrin said. “Your grandparents just need some time to get to know her better.” She looked at Laleh’s father, who had turned away from the barbecue and was facing them now. “Right, Amir?”

  He stared at his older sister, his jaw muscles bunching.

  A group of ducks waddled over from the lake, probably hoping for some bread, and Zarah ran off to feed them.

  “Easy for you to say,” Laleh’s father grumbled. “What if it were one of your children?”

  Aunt Nasrin sighed. “For a while, I thought it might be. When Emud was younger—”

  “What?” Laleh’s cousin squeaked out before pausing and continuing in a deeper, more manly voice, “You thought I was gay?”

  “All that gel in your hair and those tight pants you insisted on wearing. What was I supposed to think?”

  Emud started defending his fashion style while the rest of the cousins laughed and teased him.

  “Anyway.” Aunt Nasrin raised her voice over the commotion. “Back then, I knew I had a choice to make. Either disown Emud like the Bonyadis did with their son, or love him no matter what.” She raised her chin. “I made my choice, even if it turned out to be unnecessary in Emud’s case. Now you have to make yours.”

  Laleh’s father stared at his big sister for several moments longer before looking away.

  “How could you ever think that about me?” Emud’s protest broke the sudden silence.

  “Oh, shut up already,” Navid said.

  Silence fell again.

  “So,” Laleh said when she couldn’t stand it anymore, “what’s it going to be? Love me, or disown me?” She wasn’t sure where the courage to confront her parents came from—maybe her aunt’s support or the tight grasp Hope still had on her hand. Or maybe she was just sick and tired of living her life according to her parents’ expectations.

  Her mother looked her in the eyes for the first time. “Of course we will always love you. How could you ever question that?”

  A sarcastic reply was on the tip of Laleh’s tongue, but she bit it back, knowing it wouldn’t do any good. “Then you’ll try to accept Hope’s place in my life?”

  Her mother’s gaze flickered over to Hope and then back. “This isn’t easy for us, you know? It’s just so…” She shook her head.

  “I know, Maman,” Laleh said, her tone a lot softer now.

  Her parents looked at each other, and then her father gave the tiniest of nods. “We will try,” he said. “That’s all I can promise.” Abruptly, he turned back toward the barbecue pit.

  Laleh exhaled a breath she hadn’t even realized she’d been holding. Her hand in Hope’s was damp with sweat. Some of it was probably Hope’s. God, she would have given anything to sink into Hope’s embrace right now, but she didn’t want to test her parents’ uneasy tolerance any more than necessary.

  Hours later, once the last bite of food had been devoured and the sun was sinking lower, the families around them began to gather the wheat sprouts they had grown since February.

  “What are they doing?” Hope whispered as the first bowl of sabzeh landed in the lake.

  “It’s tradition to throw out the sprouts at the end of the picnic. They were part of the display table on Nowruz, and throwing them out is supposed to remove any negativity from the home.”

  “I hope it works,” Hope whispered.

  Laleh’s mother picked up her bowl of wheat sprouts. Just as she was about to pass Laleh on her way to the lake, she paused.

  Oh no. Laleh tensed. She knew what would be coming: another tradition and one that she didn’t like as much. All unmarried young women were supposed to tie a knot with the sprouts and make a wish to find a husband by the next year. Her mother had made her tie knots for several years now.

  But instead of handing her the sabzeh, her mother heaved a sigh and walked on. She hurled the wheat sprouts into the lake with more force than necessary.

  One after another, her relatives threw their wheat sprouts before hugging and kissing each other and Laleh good-bye, so she finally had to let go of Hope’s hand. A few of them even exchanged the customary air-kisses with Hope, and Laleh hugged those members of the family a little longer, wanting them to know how grateful she was for their willingness to accept her relationship. One of her uncles and his two sons only gave a short wave and headed off with disapproving glares in Hope’s direction.

  She tried not to take it to heart, but it wasn’t easy. At last, she hugged her parents. Her mother was trembling, and her father’s shoulders were so tense that they felt like stone, but they both gave Hope grudging nods before leaving.

  Finally, only Laleh and Hope remained. They sat on the blanket Navid had left behind for them and watched the sun color the lake in shades of orange.

  Laleh leaned her head on Hope’s shoulder and slid her hand back into Hope’s. She didn’t need to ask to know that Hope felt just as shaken yet relieved as she did. Even though their connection was gone, she now knew Hope well enough to understand that deep emotions ran beneath that calm physician’s poker face.

  Their link was what had brought them together. Without it, she might have never allowed herself to feel this kind of love for a woman, and Hope would have never opened up and let herself fall in love so deeply. A part of her still missed that connection a little, but they didn’t need it anymore. It was like taking off the training wheels once you knew you could ride the bike just fine without them.

  Hope turned her head and looked at her. The setting sun lent her tousled brown hair a reddish gleam. “Thank you,” she said quietly. “I know it wasn’t easy for you to stand up to your family.”

  Laleh lifted the hand she still held to her mouth and kissed the palm. She smiled as she remembered that these fingers had saved her life in the ER. Hope still held her heart in her hands, just as she had that night, only in a different way. Qismat, her aunt had called it—fate—and she was starting to believe that it was what had brought Hope into her life. She pressed another kiss to Hope’s knuckles. “You don’t need to thank me for that.”

  “Yes, I do,” Hope said. “Your family is important to you. Risking that for me…”

  “My family is important to me. Very important. But you are part of that family now too.”

  Hope swallowed audibly. “I haven’t been part of a family in…” She shook her head and stared down into the grass.

  Laleh squeezed her hand. “Now you are.”

  Hope looked up and into her eyes.

  They smiled at each other, and both leaned forward at the same time. Their lips met in a gentle kiss that reaffirmed their special connection, even though it was no longer an empathetic one.

  “Ready to go home?” Hope asked after a moment, her lips still only inches from Laleh’s.

  It sounded almost as if they had moved in with each other, and Laleh had no doubt that they one day would—one day not too far off in the future, if the key Hope had given her was any indication. She smoothed her thumb across the back of Hope’s hand and kissed her tempting lips again. “I’m ready,” she said, and they rose together.

  ###

  If you enjoyed Heart Trouble, you might want to check out Jae’s Hollywood series, especially Just Physical, the novel in which Laleh’s friend Jill meets Crash and falls in love with her.

  ABOUT JAE

  Jae grew up amidst the vineyards of southern Germany. She spent her childhood with her nose buried in a book, earning her the nickname professor. The writing bug bit her at the age of eleven. For the last eight years, she has been writing mostly in English.

  She used to work as a psychologist but gave up her day job in December 2013 to become a full-time writer and a part-time editor. As far as she’s concerned, it’s the best job in the world.
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br />   When she’s not writing, she likes to spend her time reading, indulging her ice cream and office supply addictions, and watching way too many crime shows.

  Connect with Jae online

  Jae loves hearing from readers!

  E-mail her at: jae@jae-fiction.com

  Visit her website: www.jae-fiction.com

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  Follow her on Twitter: @jaefiction

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  www.ylva-publishing.com

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