Sniper (Devil's Shadow MC, Book 2)
Page 7
If he's surprised to hear the desperation in my voice he doesn't let it show. He only cooks his head toward the bartender to give him more drinks. "You told me her name was Penelope Knight. I tried hard to find everyone connecting with her case which is hard to find as it's been two years but I know a cop. He helps me with bail and shit, I help him with booze. He said a girl came to the police station to file a report. The other cop heard what she had to say and then he told her to get the hell out of there."
"What?" I can't believe my own ears. "What the fucks that supposed to mean!?"
"That means whoever was involved was powerful enough to scare the cop off or he was already living as their lap dog. Whatever floats your boat, cuz." And right there I knew why Grace had taken the job to finish every MC off herself. She didn't find justice so she became the judge, the jury and the executioner. Truth be told, I fucking respect her for that.
"Is the cop still available in the police station?" If I have to get names, I better start with the cop. The asshole would say the names and then I'd nail him six feet under. Whatever floats my boat indeed.
"Nah." He takes another drag of his cigarette, the beer forgotten. "Last I heard he retired."
Fucking wonderful.
"I want you to help me, Carter. I want to find the cop and make the asshole talk. I don't fuckin’ care if you're busy running a dead business, I need your help." Gwen’s face is the only thing I remember. How she said, it destroyed her. How she still lives in the dark hell. Those bastards taking her soul with them.
And fuck, if I will ever let her stumble in that state again.
He shows me a crooked smile. “Who is this girl? You made her yours yet?”
“No.” I shake my head, the thought of it alone making me sweat. “I can’t.”
“Why not?” For once he sounds curious. Why not? Because we love to torture ourselves into thinking that we can have it all.
“She doesn’t need me.” Or maybe it’s because I’m her vice, wrapped into sin like wrath, greed, and lust altogether. “It’s just not possible. Leave it, ok?”
His eyes are far away, but he is determined. "Fine. For old time’s sake, Seth, I’ll believe you. Now, we’re family and all but even I have a fucking limit. I'd help you but I want nothing to be with your Prez. That bastard will never know I'm alive. Do we have a deal?"
For as long as I know, Carter Brothers and The Devil’s Shadow have always been strained from the start. Lethal’s great great grandpa didn’t exactly believe in making allies with the closer clubs or the clubs from the same town. He always made allies with clubs from other states as we still do. A tradition even Lethal is scared to break. Then our old VP had to give up his patch only to get patched by the Carter Brothers a month later, because he wanted to run as far away from Lena like an idiot. So, it was unenviable, that these two never get along.
More of all, Carter is too greedy to run with the druggies and shipping alcohol to cartels, where Lethal's too insane to care about other clubs. So it's frowned upon if I make a deal without letting Lethal know. He doesn't even know that Carter is still alive as Grace burned Carter's club down long ago. But for Kitty, I will. Hell, if she tells me to jump from the cliff then I will. So raising the beer bottle, I'm already sealing my fate.
"We have a deal."
Funny how it doesn't take me a second to betray my club. My Prez. Myself. But will it be the only time? Of course not. And, if that's what it takes to take away her pain, I'd do it over and over again.
CHAPTER 17
GWEN
Six hours.
That's all it took them to fix my spine and legs. Not to mention, my punctured lung which has totally gone through hell, if the look the doctor has given me is any indication. Still, they didn't say if they were completely successful yet. If I could walk again. If I can talk like a normal person without stuttering.
"We will keep her in the hospital for a few more days." I can hear someone from outside. Apparently, a week wasn’t enough for me to heal. Day and night, I can hear what they are discussing every fifteen minutes.
"Why?" Grace's worried tone is clear as day. "Is everything ok? Doctor, tell me!"
"No, no. We just want to be sure there's no complications or infections. I've written down the tests. You don't have to worry, Miss. Knight. She is perfectly fine. I told you, the surgery was successful."
I should be happy. I should start trying for a smile but all I can do is stare at the white ceiling and the dull light.
They came again. Even after everything, those monsters...they came to haunt my mind. Every touch I got, reminding me of them. Worst comes to worst, the nurses gave me some sedatives to lessen the pain.
They only ended up bringing more pain to my soul.
"Can I see her?" This time it's my nurse, Debra. The smiling angel.
"Visiting hours are over. You all can meet her in the morning." No! I want to meet them now. I wouldn't be able to chase the monsters away. I-I can't survive here alone. I'm even nauseous to think about what nightmare I will endure next.
But I grit my teeth to not let out a whimper to let them know that I'm awake. I can't be that woman, who is afraid of her own shadow. I can't be Kitty.
I'm Gwen.
I've always been Gwen.
And no one should change that. Not my sister, not that biker club, not my nightmares, not him. That's the only thing which is truly mine. My name.
Knights never give up- Mom used to say when I failed to realize why I should keep overdoing the steps. Why I should dance till I can't.
Grace used to give up. She would dance until she couldn't, not until she perfected it. Mom wouldn't say anything to her face, but I could see the disappointment shadowing her face. Then she would dance herself, she would show us what it means to be a Knight.
People should know you by your name, Gwen. You can't find any better weapon than that. No one has the right to take it- She was absolutely right. I might have lost everything, but I still have my name. How is it possible that she was right about everything? Even now, I can almost hear her whispering.
We don't give up. We fight till there's nothing left.
So, fight those monsters, Gwen.
"We can meet early in the morning, right?" Grace sounds so hopeful that I almost feel pity for her. She must've been tried as hell yet she can't leave me. I see her every day with the bruises fighting with her inner soul. I see her staring at me as if…as if she blinks once, I will fade away. And yet I can't let her go. I can't let her live life, like she wanted to. I'm selfish enough to hold onto her.
But not anymore.
Once I'm walking on my own, I will buy our grandma’s home back. It will take years to make money, but I can work. Maybe Debra can give me some job I can handle. And when the time comes I will leave the club. New York isn't worse when it comes to living. Maybe the nightmares will still haunt me, but I can't haunt my sister like a ghost forever.
"Yes. Now, please leave."
I don't hear any voice after that. I think they left. So, I wait. I wait for the morbid memories to start running. I don't know how long I wait there though. I'm almost happy that they are tired enough to leave me for one night, when the door opens suddenly.
The temptation to panic is higher than me being strong, but once my sight clears I know even panic wouldn't keep me from going astray. Though I'm pretty sure, the object of my mind shouldn't be here. Not after so long avoiding me.
It's nothing more than a shadow.
For me, he's more than that.
"You're awake." Good. He doesn't sound worried like Grace. He's calm and collected. He-He looks different.
"I am." My throat burns to produce words. But it's a miracle when I don't stutter.
He sighs. "Good."
My mind screams to say the words. Don't worry, I will get out of your layer soon. You might be addicted to me, but addiction is a strange thing. You can get addicted to someone and change the object of your addiction in a day. You can th
row it away like a used tissue. You can forget about them. You can break them even farther.
A few days ago, smoking used to be his addiction, now I'm his...and another day someone else.
"We need to talk, Kitty." For once he looks serious. I brace myself to hear what he has to say. What bad news he has to deliver and in the corner of my mind hopes that, maybe...maybe he got tired of me already.
"Yes?"
"When are you comin’ home? Did the doctor tell you anything?" Home? The club might be home for him but it's only a reminder of what my sister has become. But I don't have the heart to tell him that. So I don't.
"More or less, a few days." I answer honestly. Even if I'm...home I still need help. I still have to work hard to take a step like a toddler.
His face scrunches in...Something I've yet to see in him. He shakes his head as if what he's going to say sounds insane even for him. It's determination to do something. And sad to say it's scaring me a little.
"I-I did a bad thing, Kitty." My lungs refuse to take enough air. I'm floating again, though this time there's nothing waiting for me to hold onto. What did he do? What did you do, Seth? Lied? Killed someone? Hurt someone like-
I stop completely. Maybe he understands my unsaid words a little too correctly as he starts to come closer than he was before. Now he's almost touching me yet he looks farther away.
"I said I did a bad thing Kitty but I would have never gone so low, that I have to kill myself for the sins I have done." He sounds so disappointed at me. Like I used to. "I did it for you. I want you to live. Not hide in the shadows. Enough of that fuckin’ shit. It's time you learn how to bury those bastards."
If I was remotely normal I would share my gratitude. Ask him to teach me how to live. How to let go. But I only manage to laugh. Laugh until I can't.
"How can you help me, Seth? How?"
Please tell me how...
His eyes shine hearing me. I even see a hint of a smile in the corner of his lips. "How do you want me to help you? Revenge? Freedom? Becoming a Devil?"
How do I-
Knights never give up.
"I-I want to be Gwen." Such a simple request. Teach me how to be Gwen again. How to be free as a bird...
"One week, Kitty. You have only a few days." His whisper brings a chill down my body. "After that-after that you wish you never asked me for that. If Gwen is what you want...I will fuckin’ give her back to you."
He is addicted enough to want to give the old me back. I'm desperate enough to become his addiction. And, I don't know which thought scares me the most.
CHAPTER 18
SNIPER
I think I'm going fucking crazy, no joke.
And all that took was two weeks. Two weeks to prove how obsessed I am starting to become over Gwen. Like I can't even stand it, when Reaper openly flirts with her. That bastard. It's like every time he sees a woman he only thinks about how to take them to his bed. And this time, unfortunately, it turned out to be my Kitty.
"What the fuck you are thinkin’ about?" Reaper asks, eyeing the girl behind me. Turning back, I'm not surprised. She's his type. Shy on the outside, a little wild in the bed. And, she's a redhead so it looks like he has already found his conquest for the night. I know his attention isn't on me, yet I can't help but let out the words eating me alive.
"What do you know about obsession?"
Finally, I've his attention. He spits his drink out, looking at me as if I’ve gone mad. "Are you fuckin’ drunk or something?"
"Nope. Just tryin’ to clear some things. So about that obsession-"
"For me, obsession is, I rock that girl's world tonight and in the morning, she still wants to hog my bed." Typical Reaper. But I guess I didn't just want to get into Kitty's pants. Don't get me wrong, she makes things a little hard at times but that's not the only reason I wanted to help her.
Shit! I was more than obsessed with her...
"Dude, you ok?" The realization that it's more than my addiction. More than any obsession...rattles me up more than I'd like to admit.
"I-I am good. Any news on Xavier?" I fucking hate to pretend. But Reaper would never understand what I'm feeling. He has never known a woman like my Kitty.
"Fuck no. That bastard has been radio silent and Foxy here is tryin’ to kill me with all this whining. That woman..." He laughs ordering another drink. Scar shakes his head in irritation once before disappearing behind the counter.
"Yeah, that woman...who's kicked your ass more time than you can count, you asshole." A voice retorts behind me. This time I can't stop chuckling at Reaper's red face.
"Foxy. Just the annoyin’ garbage I wanted to see." He scoffs, standing up.
"Well, I'm lookin’ at the garbage can of ink right now. Do you see me complaining?" Shit! Before these two kill each other, I turn to Foxy.
"Hey, hey. Stop the petty banter. I'm pretty sure you didn't come here to kill him." She scowls at him but thankfully, after a minute glances back at me.
"Yeah, I actually came here to look for you. I was callin’ your phone for the last half an hour but you didn't pick up. I thought you already left for New York."
"You did?" Confusion fills my mind but she's quick to reply.
"Yeah, Gwen wanted to meet you. She said it's important."
Once again, my heart beats a little faster. Sweat making its way to my forehead. She can do that to me. She can make my head crazy with equally crazy thoughts.
"Sniper? You ok? I can tell her you're busy, if you like?" Foxy offers, but I'm already shaking my head.
"No, no. I'm fine." I inhale sharply before looking at Reaper. "We need to talk to Lethal. Tucker found somethin’ interesting."
Reaper looks ready to talk right now, but I stop him urgently. "We will talk to him later, Reaper. Right now, I'm busy."
On a second note...Jerking my chin towards Foxy I bacon her closer to me so that Reaper can't hear. "Foxy, I gotta go. Make sure he's sober enough to take that girl to bed or knock him out. We don't want any drunken mistakes."
She nods laughing. “As if anyone wants to see little Reapers running around. One is more than fuckin’ enough.”
Laughing with her, my feet take me farther towards the guest room. Taking another deep breath, I knock.
"Come in!" A soft voice answers.
Entering the room, I'm not prepared to see the chaos that went through. There are CD's lying around, the player is almost on the verge of dropping on the floor. Glancing up, dark eyes observes me as I walk farther until I'm standing beside her.
"You called for me?"
Her smile is timid as if she's afraid that she had to call me. Her eyes are on the player as she replies. "I-I want to learn again."
She must have seen the confusion in my eyes so she clears it up with a nervous chuckle. "Dancing. I want to pick up dancing again."
I want to be Gwen.
Her words from two weeks ago taunt me as I notice her fidgeting on her bed. She really wants to find herself again. And she wants me to be the one to help her. Not Grace, not Ginger...me.
"So-what do you want me to do?" I don't fucking know how to dance. Never even seen anyone dance except if it's a lap dance or grinding which I'm pretty sure Kitty isn't looking for. Fuck! I'm screwed.
"You can help me dance. I mean just hold onto me while I try to remember the steps. It's easy, really! Just follow my body." Oh, I was following her body, alright. And, it's making me harder, making me wanna run to take a cold shower now.
I have to clear my throat twice before anything comes from my mouth. "Uh...sure."
She immediately asks me to help her stand. The therapy is going well, but she still needs help to walk and do other work. So, without another word, I take her hand and help her stand. This close, I can see a twitch in her eyes, and is that a...blush?
"What are you looking at?" She whispers, making it even harder to control myself. Get a Grip, Seth...I've to chant as I take her to the middle of the room.
"What song sho
uld I choose?" I ignore her question, with one of mine. Thankfully it does the trick as she nods toward the remote in her hand. How the fuck did I not notice that before?
The moment the music fills the room she inhales sharply, her eyes close as if she's savoring this moment. Her steps are shaky but at least it's better than my coordination.
Gave up on me once, believing the lies,
Took him enough, now that I can’t hide the cracks.
She hums the song, keeping me with her steps. Fuck! This is torture. So close to her, and I can't touch her like I want to. Her hands find a way to my neck to embrace me and a low groan leaves my lips. I can't help it. Fuck I can't.
Deeper, and deeper, the melody goes,
Chaos pulls him under, swallowing my moans.
She gives me a grin when it's time to twirl her and I end up stumbling over my feet. I like the look on her face. Those bastards have nothing on her. They can't touch her. They can't hurt her more than they already did.
More than that, I still remember that day in December when I met her for the first time. When I was still confused about my feelings for her sister. When she was just the woman who had lost everything.
And, there’s no way out,
So hold me, like it’s the last time we are lost…
I don't know who closes the distance first. All I know, is that I'm tasting her lips again. All I know, is that she's moaning my name. More, more. Is that me or her?
"Seth please!" She begs watching me with those dark eyes now filled with desire. For me.
"What do you want?" As always I can't help but ask her. Whatever she asks, she will get. My cock, my life, anything...and the thought of such insanity doesn't even scare me.
"I want you to touch me, Seth." She has no fear, no alternative motive. She just wants my touch. So it doesn't take me long to help her lay on the bed.