Tears of Blue (Shades of Death Book 2)

by Hoffman McManus, Stephanie

  I walked back over to my purse which was opened up on the bed. “Someone went through my stuff. My purse and my suitcase. I hoped maybe you were looking for a tampon or lipstick or something.”

  “Sorry, it wasn’t me.” She was eyeing my purse with confusion.

  “Then I think it must have been when we were out last night.”

  “What makes you think someone went through your stuff? You didn’t have your purse with you?”

  “I took my debit card and some cash, but I left my purse here. I just went to put my card back in my wallet and that’s when I noticed it. I had stuff zipped in pockets, all my other cards, and makeup and tampons and you know how much crap I keep in this thing. It’s all been gone through.”

  “You’re sure?” She frowned at my bag.

  “Yes. I might keep a lot of crap in here but I keep it organized. I know what pockets I had what in, and now it’s all messed up. Same with my suitcase. I didn’t notice last night because it was too warm to put on pajamas, but I know someone went through it.” I was trying to stay calm and not freak out because there had to be a perfectly reasonable explanation, but everything inside of me was screaming that someone had come in here and invaded my privacy and rifled through my things. Like it was all happening again.

  “That’s really weird. Is anything else in the room out of order?” She glanced around and I let my gaze wander the room as well, but nothing else seemed out of the ordinary.

  “Everything else looks the same. It’s just my bags.” I sighed and dropped down onto the bed. “Do you think I’m losing my mind?”

  “No,” she plopped down beside me, “but I just can’t imagine that someone was in here.” She placed her hand on my arm and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “But we both know that doesn’t mean someone wasn’t. We’ll talk to Dave and Rebecca. I don’t think they have a cleaning lady, but it could be something like that.”

  “A cleaning lady that comes in the evening?” My things hadn’t been like that before we left for dinner.

  “I don’t know, but let’s not freak out yet.”

  I could only hope it was something as simple as a dishonest cleaning lady.

  “I want to go check my room before we go downstairs.” She rose and I followed her to Spencer’s old room and watched while she poked through their things and did a check of the room. When she was finished she looked back at me, her face scrunched up. “Honestly, I don’t think I would know if someone was in here. I don’t keep my things nearly as neat and organized as you do, and I had my purse with me last night.”

  “It’s alright, maybe it is just nothing and I’m overreacting.” We both knew how jumpy I was, quick to react to every little thing, perpetually in a state of paranoia that wasn’t healthy.

  “It’s not nothing. If you say someone went through your stuff, then someone did.”

  “Okay, let me just get dressed.” I was only in the fluffy robe Mrs. Shaw had provided.

  After throwing on some clothes, we followed the smell of pancakes and bacon emanating from the kitchen. We found Mrs. Shaw at the stove, flipping hot cakes and frying bacon.

  “Good morning, girls,” she tossed over her shoulder with a bright smile. “Breakfast will be ready in just a minute. Grab yourselves a plate. There’s fresh coffee in the pot, hot water for tea in the kettle and orange juice in the fridge.”

  “Thank you, it smells great, but you know you don’t have to give us the five-star treatment every day. We can both pour a mean bowl of cereal.” Nora grabbed two plates from the cupboard and handed me one.

  “Nonsense, I don’t mind cooking. I cook for David most mornings anyway, and I miss having my boys here. Although, when they were, I swore they could eat enough for an entire army. Felt like all I did was cook. Of course, once they’re gone you miss those sorts of things.”

  Sounded like my mother.

  “I bet they miss it too. At least, I’m sure Spencer probably does,” Nora said. “I know I’m not nearly the cook you are.”

  “Oh I doubt that. Spencer says you’re a wonderful cook.”

  Nora laughed and I echoed it. Nora could bake like nobody’s business, but the rest of her skills in the kitchen were somewhat lacking.

  “I’m trying new things and learning,” she admitted and we both held our plates out as Mrs. Shaw brought over a stack of hot pancakes and started shoveling them on, along with an unhealthy portion of bacon.

  “Coffee, Em?” Nora walked over to the pot to fill a cup for herself.

  “Actually, I think I’ll stick with juice.”

  Nora’s eyebrows arched. “You feeling alright this morning?” she was only joking, but the truth was, I was seriously wigging over the purse thing.

  “Coffee makes me too jittery lately.” It was a semi-truth. It certainly didn’t help me to feel calm. Nora gave a slight nod of understanding before pouring her cup while I retrieved the orange juice from the fridge.

  We returned to the table with our beverages and Mrs. Shaw joined us with a cup of tea. I swear the woman drank eight cups a day. Tea with breakfast, tea in the mid-morning, afternoon, before dinner and before bed. She almost always had a cup in her hand.

  “Are you not going to eat any of this delicious breakfast?” Nora started cutting into hers.

  “I don’t think my husband or my doctor would approve. Not good for my heart. Damn this getting old business anyway, but don’t you girls worry about me. I had oatmeal with Dave before he left this morning.”

  “He was out of the house early,” Nora commented.

  “A couple times a month he and some other retired badges get together for coffee and to rehash the good ol’ days and exaggerate their war stories.”

  I nibbled at my breakfast and waited for Nora to bring up the purse thing, but the two of them started in on their guys and how all three of the Shaw men were alike in so many ways.

  Mrs. Shaw was chuckling at a comment Nora made and fanning herself, “Another curse of becoming an old lady, these damn hot flashes. I tell you, cooking over the stove is like visiting a sauna in the fires of hell. This kitchen gets so damn hot. Let me just adjust the AC.” She started to rise up from her seat and then it was like she fell back into it.

  “You alright?” Nora asked.

  “I think I just tried getting up too fast,” she brushed it off and pushed herself up again. This time she made it out of the chair and walked over to the AC unit just outside the kitchen entry.

  “Are you going to mention the purse thing?” I whispered.

  She nodded. “Yeah, I texted Spencer too.”

  “Does he think I’m crazy?”

  “Of course not. He believes you and he’s worried. I just wanted to check with him before we worried his parents too.”

  “What are you girls muttering about?” Mrs. Shaw returned to her seat, her face flushed. Hot flashes apparently were no joke.

  Nora fumbled with her words, “Well, we’re umm, actually hoping you might have an explanation for something Emily noticed this morning.”

  “What is–” her words cut off and she sucked in a sharp breath, raising her hand over her chest. “Oh! I’m sorry, I think I’m getting an awful case of heartburn.” She inhaled a deep breath and let it out, then shook it off. “But what’s going on dear?” She was looking to me now and I could see the fine sheen of sweat over her face. She did not look well.

  “Are you sure you’re feeling alright?”

  “Yes, I– I, just . . .” She was struggling to speak and her features were pulled into a slight wince of pain. “I think maybe I need to lie down for a minute.”

  Nora and I both stood at the same time she attempted to rise out of her chair. She was shaky and Nora rushed to her side to help her, wearing a concerned look.

  “Should we call Dave?”

  “No, no, that’s not nec– neceessa-uugh,” her words slurred as groan slipped from her lips and she clutched at her chest. She sucked in a sharp breath before her face went slack and then her ent
ire body crumpled. Nora was quick to grab her and I rushed to help her keep Mrs. Shaw from falling to the floor.

  We managed to lower her carefully and then Nora was on the phone with nine-one-one. My panicked brain was still trying to process the scene playing out in front of me until Nora snapped me out of it.

  “Check the cupboards for aspirin.” She was still on with the dispatch operator while we waited for paramedics to arrive.

  I rushed to the bathroom and started rifling through the cabinets until I found the small bottle. I ran back out to the kitchen, fumbling with the cap. Nora was on her knees trying to get a response out of Mrs. Shaw while listening to every instruction that came over the phone. I thrust the pill bottle at her and watched as she placed one tablet under Mrs. Shaw’s tongue and continued to try and bring her around.

  She started to stir once before the paramedics arrived, but was unconscious again when they took over. As soon as they were in the door, Nora hung up on the nine-one-one operator and immediately dialed Spencer.

  Everything after that was a rush. Spencer met us at the hospital, his father and brother only minutes behind him. Nora told them everything we knew and then Mr. Shaw went in a desperate search of more information. Camden followed him, trying to calm him as he rushed the reception desk.

  Spencer held Nora closely, muttering softly in her ear. I wanted to be here for them, but I didn’t know what I could do. I sat quietly in my seat until Camden surprised me by dropping into the seat on my other side when he returned with his dad. “You okay?”

  I met his gentle gaze with a confused look. “Shouldn’t I be asking you that?”

  “You have to be a little shook up. Do you need anything? A coffee or something to eat?”

  I shook my head. I didn’t want him trying to comfort me. Not after the way I lashed out at him yesterday. “I’m fine. I just wish I could do something,” I mumbled.

  “Hey, you were with her, and you’re here now. That’s enough.”

  “I really didn’t do anything. It was all Nora. She didn’t panic like I did.”

  “Don’t do that,” he commanded softly. “Don’t beat yourself up. You were both there, and when my mom pulls through it will be because you both got her the help she needed quickly.”

  I still didn’t feel like I could take any credit, but I didn’t say a word. I fixed my eyes on the muted TV screen that hung on the wall and let Camden’s presence beside me sooth away some of the anxiety that was making me feel claustrophobic in this place.

  Conversation was limited while we waited to hear from the doctor. Everyone found menial things to distract their minds. I continued to stare blankly at the TV, shifting in my seat to find a comfortable position. Before long, I tipped my head back, intending just to close my eyes for a minute. I woke a while later curled up in my seat with my head resting on Camden’s shoulder. He didn’t seem bothered by this at all.

  I jerked upright, mumbling an embarrassed, “Sorry,” and hoped I hadn’t drooled on him.

  “No apology needed,” he smiled softly, a comforting warmth emanating from his eyes. I wanted to smack my head against the wall to stop the things it did to me. He was being so damn nice after I was such a bitch yesterday.

  “Listen, about yesterday,” I started.

  “Also, not necessary. I overstepped. You had every right to bite my head off.”

  “I didn’t mean it,” I said quietly. “About not wanting you to know me. It’s just that . . .”

  “What?” he asked quietly.

  “Sometimes it feels like you already do. Like you have me figured out better than I do myself. And you seem to know what I’m feeling even when I don’t.”

  He let out a single laugh. “I really, really don’t have you figured out. But your eyes tell me a lot, and I have a bad habit of sharing my opinion even when it’s not wanted.”

  “Then what are my eyes telling you right now?”

  He held my steady gaze for a second. “That I wasn’t wrong.”

  “About what?”

  “The girl in there is worth getting to know. And I should be more afraid of you than you are of me.” The last part was almost a whisper said to himself.

  I scrunched up my brow in confusion. “Afraid of me, why?”

  “Because, you’ve got all the power, darlin’. And you don’t even realize it.” His hand reached out and brushed a few strands of hair out of my face. “I should have listened when my brother told me to leave you alone.”

  His words stung. “Then why didn’t you?”

  “You know why, because you feel it too.”

  “Feel what?” I wanted him to put words to it, because I sure as hell couldn’t.

  “Good question. I wish I knew.”

  Neither one of us said anything more.

  News eventually came from Mrs. Shaw’s team of doctors that they’d stabilized her and were waiting for her to wake up. Then they could assess the full extent of the heart attack she’d suffered. There were still tests to be run. Even with all the doctor lingo thrown in, it all sounded straightforward. The doctors were hopeful for her recovery.

  Mr. Shaw and his boys were anxious to see her and managed to smooth talk the doctors into allowing us all back there

  She wasn’t awake when we entered and looked incredibly pale. Her husband appeared shook up at the sight of her and took a seat at the bedside. He grabbed her hand in his and raised it to his lips. “You get better, sweetheart, you hear me? The boys and I will be here to take care of you when you wake up.”

  Camden and Shaw both leaned over their mother and pressed a kiss to her forehead, whispering their own words. I could see the struggle in Camden’s eyes to hold it together. We all took seats around the bed, but he couldn’t sit still and was back out of his chair a moment later.

  “Who’s hungry? I’ll go grab us some food.”

  I glanced around the room, taking in Nora in Spencer’s lap and Mr. Shaw still holding his wife’s hand and I felt slightly out of place.

  “Is it alright if I go with you? My legs could use a stretch?”

  He nodded and then I followed him out of the room and outside to his car.

  Eleven

  Camden

  I hit the unlock and pulled open the passenger door for Emily, waiting to close it behind her after she’d slid in. I rounded the driver’s side and folded myself behind the wheel, breathing in the fresh vanilla and apple scent that was already filling the enclosed space. I wanted to bury myself in it and forget about life for a minute. Forget about the Russians and the Mexicans and my mom lying back there in the hospital.

  I’d much rather focus all of my energy on the girl in seat beside me. God, I wanted to unravel her and then revel in her for a night, distract us both from the demons knocking on our doors. The things I would do to her to make her forget even her own name.

  Fuck, I’d want more than one night.

  But would she give it to me? Would she even give me one night?

  Did I really want to find out where it could lead?

  I could keep doing this thing with her that we were doing, where we exchanged looks and smiles, and she’d show me something real, let me see past the walls, then she’d withdraw and shut down again. And maybe that’s all this would ever be. Some chemistry and a few almost moments that went nowhere.

  But I didn’t want that to be all this was.

  Off limits or not didn’t matter anymore. It was too late to stay away. I already blew that to hell. I almost thought it would be worth it even if her brother shot me.

  God, I needed this, to find out if it was all in my head or not. Did she want it as bad as I did? Would she even let herself want it? What would she say if I told her I wanted her? To get to know her. To have her. And not in the back of my car, or some stolen moment hook-up. In my bed – begging and writhing in pleasure and crying out my name.

  My dirty thoughts were interrupted when Emily brought up my mother.

  “It’s good that your mom has you
guys. I know she’ll pull through and she’ll be well taken care of. She’ll be better in no time.”

  Nothing like the mention of your mother to shame you for your filthy thoughts. Moms were instant boner killers. Mine would be appalled if she could read my mind and knew what I was thinking about doing to this girl.

  “Thanks. I know she’ll be okay, too. She’s a strong woman; she had to be to put up with my dad and raise Spence and me. She won’t like taking it easy, but Dad will make sure she does, and stop her from sneaking bacon.”

  “She mentioned something about having to watch what she eats this morning. Does she have heart problems?”

  “High blood pressure, but I thought she kept it pretty well managed. Nothing like this has ever happened.” Mom was healthy, or so I thought. She ate right most of the time, and she was active, always in her garden or making Dad go for walks or take the horses out.

  I still couldn’t believe she’d had a heart attack. My mom was like Super Woman, always had been. Seeing her in that hospital bed, and being reminded that I wouldn’t always have her around was anything but easy. It was a reality check I could’ve done without.

  “I’m sure the stress she’s been under hasn’t helped,” Emily added and then grimaced when I cast a sideways glance at her. “Sorry, you probably don’t need to be reminded of what’s going on.”

  “No, it’s okay. It’s true. I’m sure stress did play a part. Spence and I are going to catch this guy.” And he was going to pay. Whether or not we’d let the law handle it or dish out our own justice had yet to be decided. More and more, I was in favor of turning a blind eye and letting my brother and his guys dole it out.

  “Oh God, with what happened, I forgot that there was something Nora and I needed to talk to your mom about this morning.” She sounded more troubled than she had a second ago.

  “What did you need to talk to her about?”

  “You’re probably going to think I sound crazy, but I’m pretty sure someone was in the house when we were gone last night. They went through my things.”

  I nearly slammed the brakes and pulled the car over. “What do you mean someone was in the house? Are you saying someone broke in?”