Serious now, Nicholas sat down beside her. "I would give it all away, you know. The fortune, everything I've rebuilt, just to see you happy again. You have paid for sins you did not commit, Jules, and I could not stop it."
She knew he was referring to her scars and the exile in Sussex. Here was her chance to press for the truth. Yet she did not take it. She could not. Instead, she reached for her brother's hand. "I am happy, Nick. At least I am in this moment. I cannot ask for more. I dare not." She pressed her other hand to her cheek and the marred flesh there. "I learned long ago not to reach for what I knew I could never obtain. So I never wished to be happy, uncertain that I could grasp an emotion so fragile and fleeting."
"But today?" He squeezed her hand, and in his eyes, Julia saw a reflection of her own sadness. What had her brother given up after their parents had died? What had he sacrificed for her? There was something, she was certain, but again, she would not press. He would tell her when he was ready and not a moment before.
"Today I am happy," she admitted with a smile, happy when he returned it. "And I will cherish that happiness for as long as it lasts."
"Because of Benjamin." She knew what her brother was asking, even though he didn't say the words.
She nodded, not wanting to lie to Nicholas. "Partly, yes. He has been a good friend to me. He has not hurt me, and I trust that he will not. I know that I cannot have him, Nick. I am not so foolish as to believe otherwise. But he is giving me a glimpse into a world that I would not otherwise see, one that my scars would prevent me from entering. But he is a duke, and they will not deny him. And I am happy that he takes me with him, even if it is only because he is an old friend."
"I just don't want to see you hurt." Like I was. Nick didn't have to say the words. Julia could hear them in the silence, and again she wondered what had cut him so deeply. This was a side of him she had never seen in all of the visits he'd made to Seldon Park, and now, she rather wished she would have. Perhaps she could have helped.
Shaking her head, she rose from her chair. "I will not be, Nick. Benjamin and I both understand what we are about. The illusion of courting? The flowers? The dancing? It is a favor for an old friend. An experience that shall never come again, which we both know without illusion. And in a few weeks, we will go our separate ways, and I, at least, will be richer in experience because of it."
"As long as you are both in the same place on this. His heart may be far more involved that you suspect, Jules. The Duke of Radcliffe may act cool and aloof, but, at his heart, he has more passion than even he realizes." To Julia, it seemed that Nick wanted to say more, to tell her that Benjamin was more deeply involved with her than she suspected. As it was, he was implying it quite heavily. Then again, that was what she wanted to hear. That did not make it true.
"He does not love me," she assured Nick as she made to leave the room and go upstairs to collect Meggy, as well as a few footmen for a shopping expedition. "He cares for me a great deal as a friend, Nick, but there is no love. Trust me in this."
Then she was gone, Nick watching her go and wondering how the two people he loved most in the world could be so completely blind and stupid.
Hard as she tried to put them aside, Nick's words lingered in Julia's mind as she shopped. Darting from one store to another should have been enough to take her mind off of her brother's implication that Benjamin cared more for her than he was willing to admit. Then again, since she was thinking of dressing to please Benjamin, it was difficult to get him out of her mind in any way.
Not that she would admit to thinking about the handsome duke, at least not to her chaperone. Meggy had made her feelings about Benjamin perfectly clear, and the maid was rather vocal in her feelings every time Julia so much as hinted that something she was thinking of purchasing might be because of a man. Well, one man in particular.
Now, with the carriage stuffed full of packages, Julia was trying to decide if she needed to visit one last modiste when a large shadow partially blocked her field of view. Looking up, she saw the Marquess of Landover, the one man she wished never to see again. Propriety dictated that she be polite, but at the moment, she wished to avoid him at all costs. He had threatened Benjamin, and for that alone, she had no wish to associate with the man. However, at least polite greetings looked unavoidable.
"Lady Julia." The words were polite, yet once more, they felt rather oily, much to her dismay. "Such a pleasure to see you, my dear. You are not about in town often enough, I fear. We should like to see more of you."
"That's kind of you to say, my lord," she said with as much politeness as she could muster. "But as you know, I primarily reside at Seldon Park, and rarely see the need to come into town."
He inclined his head, as if studying her. "Still, it is a magnificent thing that you could join us for a season. You put the other debutantes to shame, you know." He smiled then, but it did not reach his eyes, and Julia felt her skin prickle with unease. "In fact, it would be my pleasure to escort you for ices so that I might show off a bit. Be seen in your fine company?" He offered his arm, as if there was no chance she would turn him down.
Shaking her head, she backed up a bit, wanting to be away from him. "I am afraid not, my lord. As I am sure you are aware, I am being courted. It would not be fair to you to give you false hope where there is none." That, at least, was true. "Lord Radcliffe has my affections, and that cannot be changed."
Her response was clearly not what Landover wanted to hear, and he reached out to put a hand on her arm. She looked down at it in dismay and then back up to the marquess. It was beyond inappropriate for him to touch her when she'd not given permission, something he well knew.
"I would ask that you remove your hand, my lord," she growled through clenched teeth, wondering where her driver was. Anthony was usually always near by. Then, out of the corner of her eye, she saw Landover's driver detaining him. Not by force, precisely, but still in a way that was drawing attention. Meggy was with them as well, since she'd been placing parcels in the carriage while Julia decided what shop to visit next, leaving her virtually defenseless.
"But, my dear, surely you will offer me a chance to claim your heart?" Landover's words were pretty but they lacked sincerity and emotion. They were as empty as he appeared to be. Julia had no doubt that there were other motives behind his accosting her, though she had no idea what they were. However, she did mean to find out.
Tired of being polite, she yanked her arm away, not caring who saw or what gossip might spring from it. It could be all over the scandal sheets tomorrow for all she cared, but she would not allow this man to touch her any longer than was necessary. "I am sorry, Lord Landover, but my affections are engaged elsewhere. I would ask that you respect that, please."
She went to move around him, but he blocked her path, and she was beyond shocked. No one, especially a peer, accosted a woman in the streets the way Landover was doing at this very moment. "Let me pass, my lord." She didn't want to cause any more of a scene, but she would if necessary. She had little to lose, after all, while Landover had a great deal.
"Do not think that you have Radcliffe," the marquess hissed. "He does not love you. Oh, you might be fine for a tumble, but that is all. I can offer you more, so much more. All you have to do is allow me to prove it to you."
"No." Julia's temper was rising. The ton thought her meek, but she was not. She never had been. Far from it. It was only an illusion and one she no longer felt like keeping up. "I am sorry, but I am not interested. Now please, leave me be." She saw that Anthony and Meggy had somehow managed to get around Landover's driver and were now hurrying toward her.
The marquess glared down at her, ice in his eyes. "No, you listen to me, you silly little chit. There are things about your precious duke that you do not know. Things he does not want you to know. Secrets that could destroy all of you, including your brother. But I'm willing to keep those secrets. For a price. Become my mistress, and I will not breathe a word. Refuse me, and you and those you car
e for will suffer."
"Do not threaten the lady." Julia would know Benjamin's voice anywhere and she had never been more thankful for his sudden appearances. "What you think you know about me and mine could fill a thimble, you lackwit." Then Benjamin reached out and removed Landover's hand from Julia's arm where it still rested. "If you approach her again, threaten her in any way, I will make you very, very sorry." There was a dark light in Benjamin's eyes that she had never seen before, and it scared her a little. "You know that I can. Do not test me."
To his credit, Landover had the good sense to jerk his arm from the duke's grasp and back up, giving Julia room to breathe. "And don't you threaten me." There was anger in the marquess' voice, but a healthy dose of fear as well. "I know things, Radcliffe. Dark things."
"As do it." Benjamin seemed bored now, which helped to put Julia's mind at ease. He was unlikely to kill anyone if he was acting bored. "Not to mention that I have the ear of Prinny. Which you, I would like to point out, do not. Remember that before you go about threatening decent young ladies again." His eyes flicked towards Julia for a moment. "I would hate for you to lose your standing invitation to Carlton House should our prince find out that you are not at all a gentleman."
Landover spun on his heel and began to stalk away, but then abruptly turned back to glare at both of them once more. "I can ruin you. Do not think otherwise." Then he stalked off, his driver, the same one who had detained Anthony and Meggy, falling into step behind the marquess.
Benjamin watched Landover until he was gone, then turned back to Julia. "Are you well? Did he hurt you?" His gaze roamed her person, but didn't see any obvious signs that she'd been injured.
Shaking her head, she swallowed hard. "No. He simply ruined an otherwise nice day." Then she looked at Benjamin, her eyes narrowing. "What kind of secrets could Landover know about you? About me, for that matter?"
"None," he replied and hoped he would not be struck dead in the street for lying. Then, needing to vent the anger that had been rising in him, he turned and glared fiercely at the assembled crowd. "Is there something more you wish to see? The man accosted the lady, and I intervened." At his continued glare, those assembled began to slowly disperse, though they continued to whisper as they went, and he had no doubt that the incident would be reported in breathless detail in the next day's papers.
When he was satisfied that they were gone, the duke turned back to the woman at his side. The woman he would spare any hurt were it in his power. "They will talk, you know, but there will not be a scandal."
"I know." She sighed then, and he knew how hard this must be for her. After a lifetime of near isolation, to be the subject of such gossip must be difficult. "But it could not be avoided. I am not certain what game the man is playing, but I do not care for it. I do not care for him."
Nodding, Benjamin offered her his arm. "Then perhaps it is time for you to return home." He motioned for Anthony to open the carriage door, but Julia stayed him with a hand.
"I would like to walk for a bit, if you please." While early summer was in the air, it was different here than it was at home. Still, she felt the need to be in the open, the air of the city suddenly stifling. "I fear that I need to calm down as well."
As they walked, Anthony and Meggy fell in behind them, clearly not about to let another incident occur while on their watch. Julia observed them with a smile. "It is not their fault, you know." She didn't want the duke to blame either of her servants. Landover had ambushed them.
"I know." He paused to bow slightly to an older woman, one of the matriarchs of London society. "Landover is a tricky one. He will do and say whatever he pleases to get his way. Including lying and detaining young women."
"I would have hit him, you know." She peeked up at him from beneath her bonnet. "Had he continued to touch me or made another move on my person, I would have struck him." She smiled at an older man she remembered from the theater. "It might not have been proper, but I would have done it regardless." She slowed her steps, forcing Benjamin to slow his pace as well. "Perhaps I do not belong here. Perhaps I should go home now before anything else happens. Lies they may be, but the marquess can do a fair bit of damage should he wish it, I am certain. All it would take is a hint of scandal. Nicholas is on precarious terms with society as it is."
Incensed, Benjamin pulled her aside and out of the way of the steady stream of people traversing the boards. "Do not say that! Ever! Then you will allow that monster to win, and I won't have it!"
She raised her eyebrows, almost daring him to continue. "Really? Care to enlighten me, my lord."
Running a hand through his hair, Benjamin knew he was in a quandary. He could not tell her the truth, even though he knew he should. Still, he could not allow the marquess to get the upper hand. Finally, he settled for something in the middle of the truth and the lie. "Landover desires anything that is mine. He always has. If he cannot obtain it, he attempts to hurt both me and those I care for. You and your brother are no different."
"Why?" Julia asked, not understanding his meaning. "What does he care whom you see or what you have? I know of Lady Catherine, but surely there is more to the situation than just her. It makes no sense otherwise."
"When we were at school together, we were always in competition. Landover always felt inferior to just about everyone, but his hatred for me was unparalleled. I was everything that he would never be - rich, a duke, and someone with influence over the future king." Benjamin knew that wasn't a good explanation, but then, it was difficult to explain something he could barely understand himself.
Julia still did not take his meaning and made her confusion clear. "But why you, Ben? Why not another boy? Someone else who would also become a duke some day?"
"Our fathers were enemies." That was the best he could offer because truly, he did not understand the root of Landover's hatred. "I do not know why, only that they were, and that hatred spilled over to the children. To Landover, anyway. I never much cared." That, too, was the truth. He'd been too preoccupied with other things to worry over much about a boy he didn't like. "But to Landover, I was the epitome of all he would never be. So he attempted to hurt me at every opportunity. That included lies. I doubt he has changed."
Julia's head was spinning a bit. She knew that Landover and the duke did not get along but she'd had no inkling as to the depth of the hatred, at least on the marquess' part. Pulling at Benjamin's hand, she led him back out into the crowd, not wanting any more hints of scandal to follow her. She'd had enough of that for one day, and being seen in "deep conversation" with Radcliffe would set tongues wagging, fair or not.
"And now he wishes to use me to strike at you once again." That actually made a great deal of sense when she thought about it. Over the years, Benjamin had proven immune to Landover's attempts to strike at him, and he had no family left. That left friends, and she and the duke had made no secret of their previously pretend courtship.
"Precisely." They had made a circle and were now at Julia's carriage. Benjamin was loathe to let her go, but knew he had to. Anything else would, of course, be scandalous. He was so tired of that word, worrying over every action, even though he knew he must. That didn't mean he didn't want to simply pull her into his arms, however. "He will do whatever is necessary, including lie, to try to hurt me. He will also come after you."
"I am stronger than I appear, my lord," she said as he handed her into her carriage where Meggy was waiting. "You of all people should know that."
"I do, my lady. I do." In fact, Julia was one of the strongest people he knew. However, he also knew that the truth, the very truth Landover was threatening to reveal, would devastate her. "However, please use caution. The marquess does not play by the rules. He never has. I do not want you to suffer because of it."
"I shall be fine," she reassured him, as he closed the door. "And I will see you tonight."
Benjamin gave her a bow as the coach began to rumble away down the street. He was still there, watching her depart, whe
n the vehicle turned the corner and he finally disappeared from view. Finally, she turned back to discover Meggy watching her as well, a disapproving look on the maid's face.
"Do not lecture me again," Julia snapped, in no mood to deal with the maid's suspicions and theories. "I know you do not care for the duke, but I do. That is to be the end of it."
Meggy made a disgusted noise, but kept silent, much to Julia's relief. She needed time to think. She did not believe much of what the marquess had told her, and now that she knew that Landover liked to spread lies, she was inclined to believe his words even less.
It still puzzled her as to why the marquess seemed to focused on Benjamin, even after all this time, but that was a question for a later time. Instead, she thought about how Landover might use her to hurt Benjamin. The obvious answer was to attempt to ruin her. At the very least, courting her would make the duke uneasy. At worst, it would enrage him. Benjamin was rarely enraged, but when he was, it was best to stay out of his way. She'd seen that temper only once as a child, but she knew she never wanted to see it again.
"The marquess is a fine man." Meggy obviously could not keep quiet about what she saw as her mistress' interest in the wrong man. "He's not as wealthy as Radcliffe, but his title is older." She sniffed disdainfully. "And both of his parents are still alive."
Julia's temper, which had cooled a bit, now blazed to life once more. "Is there something you wish to tell me, Meggy? Because clearly you are having great difficulty keeping your thoughts to yourself."
The maid straightened, obviously happy that she'd been given leave to speak. "There have been rumors for years about the duke and his father. Servants talk, as you know."
"I do. All too well." Julia glared at the woman, thinking that perhaps it was time to find a new lady's maid. No matter how long Meggy had been with the family, she was beginning to overstep her bounds rather frequently.
To Catch A Duke Page 9
