by Elana Brooks
“I didn’t, nor Keiko.”
Adrian clenched his fists. “So she’ll think she’s doing the right thing by shutting me out. She won’t even realize that at any moment it could get to be too much and—” He yanked out his phone and dialed. “Damn, she’s got me blocked, I can’t even leave her a voice-mail. We’ve got to get the message to her somehow.”
“We can try,” Rabbi Sensei said. His voice became very grave. “But there’s another option. We discussed it a few days ago.”
Adrian stared at him, going cold all over. He swallowed. “If I die, Beverly will be free. Out of danger.”
“Yes.”
“And there are risky missions you need someone to volunteer for. Suicide missions.”
“Yes. One in particular could change the whole course of the war in our favor if it’s successfully accomplished. But the danger is so great I hadn’t planned to give the task to another.”
Adrian felt like he’d been punched in the gut. “You were going to do it? You can’t! The Covenant needs you!”
“On the contrary. The Covenant is well prepared to continue without me. I’ve taken great pains to ensure that it is. As the leader of the Covenant, this task is my responsibility, and I won’t foist it on someone else. Unless they have less to lose, or more to gain.”
Adrian didn’t take time to think. He didn’t dare. “Is it something I’d be able to do? I still have increased strength because of the soul bond, right?”
“As long as it endures, yes. This task should be well within your heightened capabilities.”
“Then tell me what you need.”
Rabbi Sensei nodded. “Gabeel gave Noh a great many suggestions of what to do when the colony ship arrived. They’re recorded in a Memory that’s not part of the standard training series. I’ll share it with you in full as part of your preparation. The pertinent section involves the identity of several of Gabeel’s friends aboard the colony ship. Fellow believers in the Bleater faith. He advises Noh’s successors to attempt to make contact with them secretly. If we can win their cooperation, they’ll become a source of information, and possibly allies within the ranks of the enemy.”
“So I’ll need to travel back to the colony ship, and then…?”
“Infiltrate their vessel, seek out Gabeel’s friends, and persuade them to aid us.” Rabbi Sensei watched Adrian closely.
Adrian’s head swam. “Good thing you trained me to disguise my astral form and speak their language.”
“Those skills could be useful in many situations. But, yes, they’re vital to this task.”
It truly was a suicide mission. What chance would he have to survive, alone among millions of Seraphim? The slightest slip would mean discovery and death.
But if he succeeded in reaching the potential collaborators and winning them to Earth’s cause, he could single-handedly win this war for the Covenant. That would be well worth dying for.
And his death would end the soul bond, ensuring it would never again endanger Beverly’s life.
“I’ll do it,” Adrian said. “Show me what I need to know.”
Rabbi Sensei took Adrian to his office and briefed him in great detail on the mission. Adrian concentrated fiercely on the flood of new information. It kept him from thinking about Beverly.
When they finished, Rabbi Sensei dismissed Adrian and called Steve in to work out the changes required by the absence of Beverly and Adrian. As Adrian passed Steve on his way out the door, he thought of something.
“Hey, Steve,” he blurted. “When you’re done here, can we talk?”
“Sure,” Steve said, his gaze compassionate but shrewd. “Over lunch?”
“Yeah.” Adrian wasn’t even slightly hungry. In fact, he felt like he might throw up if he ate anything. But it would be as good a time as any for what he needed to ask. “See you then.”
Adrian was seated at the table he’d so often shared with Beverly, poking a spoon around in a bowl of gumbo, when Steve entered the cafeteria. Adrian beckoned; Steve nodded, got his food, and came over. He seated himself, picked up his sandwich, and took a big bite. When his mouth was clear, he asked “So what’s up?”
Adrian chased a piece of okra around the bowl. When he finally got it on his spoon, he dropped it back into the dark broth. “Beverly’s going to Colorado, to find a place high enough to be safe when the flood comes.”
Steve nodded. “I figured something like that.”
“First thing in the morning, I’m leaving for the Seraphim ship on an important mission. It’s pretty risky. If—if I don’t make it back, could you find Beverly and tell her what happened?”
Steve put his sandwich down and looked at him gravely. “Of course.”
Adrian jabbed at bobbing bits of chicken and shrimp. “And if—things don’t go well, if the Covenant can’t—Anyway, will you take care of her for me? She can take care of herself, but I’d feel better if I knew you were looking out for her, too.” He made a lopsided attempt at a smile. “The two of you have a lot in common. After I’m out of the picture it would be nice if you hit it off. She needs someone to love her. To show her how lovable she is. Better than I could.”
Steve was silent until Adrian dragged his eyes up to meet his gaze. Then his voice was grave. “Adrian, my brother, I’m honored beyond words that you’re asking this of me. Of course I’ll do whatever I can to help her, if it comes to that.” His eyes narrowed. “But why the hell aren’t you on a plane to Denver right now?”
Adrian dropped his spoon and rubbed his temples. “It wouldn’t help. Commander Sarthex was too much for her. She’s got issues that made her especially vulnerable to his attack. She’s running scared. Whatever she feels for me isn’t enough to change that. I tried.”
Steve was quiet for a moment. He took another bite, chewed thoughtfully, and swallowed. “It’s odd she’d take such a big risk. If your soul bond snaps, you’re both toast.”
Adrian raised pleading eyes to Steve. “She doesn’t know. That’s why I’ve got to take this mission. If I’m killed, at least she’ll be safe.”
Steve’s eyes got hard. Adrian feared he’d burst out in an angry tirade, but he just took a swig of soda. “So that’s what this is about.”
“Yeah.” Adrian shrugged and picked his spoon back up. Maybe he could handle a little broth and rice. “I can’t tell you how much it means to me, knowing you’ll look after her.”
Steve put down his sandwich and fixed him with an uncompromising stare. “Is she really worth throwing away your life over?”
Adrian swallowed his mouthful of gumbo. The hot liquid flowed down his throat and washed into his stomach. The spices warmed his lips and tongue. “What choice do I have? If the soul bond breaks, I’m dead anyway. And it will, eventually. She’s made sure of that. This way at least one of us will survive.”
Adrian held Steve’s gaze until the other man’s eyes slid sideways and down. “She doesn’t deserve you,” Steve said conversationally.
Adrian’s spoon clattered on the table. “Don’t you dare say that! She deserves more than I—” He sank back, shaking his head. “Just take my word for it. Life dumped a huge load of crap on her, and she turned around and did amazing things anyway.”
“If you say so.” Steve’s expression softened. “I’m sorry things didn’t work out between you.”
“Yeah.” Adrian gave a humorless laugh. Not half as sorry as he was. God knew he’d tried his damnedest. Some things just weren’t meant to be.
He shook his head and returned his attention to his gumbo. His stomach had gotten over its snit and decided to hit him with hunger pangs. He shoveled up a big mouthful. His body would need all the fuel he could stuff into it to sustain it while his soul was away. Although even with the best preparation, if he managed to survive for more than a couple of days, the guardians would have to hook up the IV equipment.
To deflect Steve’s concern, he pointed his spoon at him and asked, “So what’s Rabbi Sensei got you doing now?”
Adrian managed a more genuine laugh. “If anybody can, it’s you.”
They both steered away from sensitive topics for the rest of the meal. They left the cafeteria with only causal goodbyes.
Adrian headed up for a further session with Rabbi Sensei, where they’d be intensively reviewing all the skills he’d need. Amazingly, he felt a deep sense of peace. It really would be better this way. Beverly would be free, as she always should have been. The offense against her autonomy he’d committed by forcing her into a soul bond against her will would be corrected. She’d be able to choose for herself whether or not she wanted that sort of commitment, and with who.
He hoped she and Steve really would get together eventually. They were well matched in both power and personality. As well as other things, like race and class and body type. He’d hoped his and Beverly’s differences in those things could be overcome, but apparently that had been overly idealistic.
She and Steve could have been made for each other, they were so alike. Steve would have a much better chance to help her work through her fears and bring her back into the battle on the Covenant’s side. Adrian’s mind boggled to think of the weapon they could become if the two of them combined their power.
Yes, things had turned out for the best. All he had to do was accomplish his mission, then remove himself from the playing field in the most useful way possible. Maybe Rabbi Sensei was right and God or some other higher power really was guiding them. All his interactions with Beverly had been designed to lead him to this end. Even though for a short while it had seemed they were going somewhere else.
Never mind that his heart cried out in grief for what had so briefly seemed within his grasp. He wouldn’t shrink from facing his destiny.
Chapter 26
Adrian drifted slowly around the colony ship, concentrating on keeping his astral form a diffuse sprinkling of stars that would blend into the surrounding space, watching intently for any similar patch of stars that moved against the background. He was close to the distance at which the Seraphim guards had apprehended them before. He’d gone over the memories of that encounter with Rabbi Sensei, Keiko and Steve in exhaustive detail. They all agreed the Seraphim must deploy their guards in a vast sphere around the ship, spaced in a regular grid. Using better camouflage than they’d employed last time, it might be possible to slip through. If not, hopefully he could catch one alone.
The journey out had seemed to take twice as long as before, even though the Seraphim vessel had traveled a small distance closer. He was glad his time alone with his thoughts was almost over. Even being surrounded by enemies who’d kill him without a qualm if they discovered him would be better than drifting through space with only bleak memories and bleaker anticipation for company.
He tried not to remember his departure. He’d reported to Headquarters an hour before he usually started work. Only the handful of people trusted with the secret of his mission had been there to see him off. Each of the Eight had grasped his hand and earnestly thanked him for what he was about to do. Keiko and Steve and Rabbi Sensei had hugged him and filled his ears with words of encouragement he’d only half listened to. They’d escorted him to one of the private rooms kept for extended astral journeys, stocked with life-support equipment that could keep his body alive indefinitely. Although only if his soul survived. If that perished, machines might force his heart to beat, but he’d be dead nonetheless.
He laid down and closed his eyes, but he waited until everyone was gone except the silent guardians behind their window. Then he slipped the ring Beverly would never wear onto his left ring finger as far as it would go, kissed it, and tucked his hand into his pocket. For you, beloved, he sent telepathically, as strongly as he could, even though he knew she was still blocking him and wouldn’t hear.
As his astral form rose into the sky and North America spread below him like a map, he had a terrible urge to detour by Colorado and try to catch one last glimpse of her. But he resisted. There was no point. It would just waste precious time, and the Covenant needed every minute he could buy them. But he’d kept his eyes fixed on that portion of the globe until it shrank into a bright dot behind him.
Damn. Adrian forcefully brought his attention back to the present. He needed to focus on his task, not wallow in maudlin memories.
There. A patch of stars drifted out of sync with all the others. He circled the spot, shifting the pattern on his own astral form as he moved to keep his enemy from glimpsing him the same way. Yes, he was certain. A camouflaged Seraph stood guard directly in front of him.
Keeping a careful distance, Adrian scouted in all directions until he located three more Seraphim guards, evenly spaced at the points of an equilateral triangle with the first guard in the center. One vertex of a hexagonal grid.
Approaching the ship through the center of one of the hexagons would put him as far as possible away from any guard. But if he was seen, he’d be confronted with six hostile Seraphim at once. He’d never survive such an encounter. He had to take his chances where only one guard was close. Although it would be ideal to slip through the guard perimeter undetected so he’d be free to sneak aboard the ship unseen, he was prepared with a contingency plan in case that proved impossible.
He chose a spot about a third of the way from the central guard toward the center of one of the hexagons. He focused on making his camouflage blend perfectly with the background stars and crept in agonizingly slow stages toward the colony ship. As soon as he was close enough, he enveloped the guard in a telepathy block.
As he moved past the guard and the distance between them began to lengthen, Adrian relaxed a tiny fraction. He wasn’t safe yet, though. He tried to keep his pace as measured as before and his disguising stars moving as smoothly.
“Halt! Show yourself!” The patch of stars popped into the form of a large, threatening Seraph.
Shit. Had he slipped, or had the guard just happened to look his way and catch some flaw in his camouflage? No use worrying about that now. Time for Plan B.
Adrian assumed the shape of one of the unnamed Seraphim from the last Memory, altering its color pattern slightly to negate the tiny chance this random Seraph might recognize that one. He cowered before the approaching guard, covering his eyes with his top fins.
The guard glowered at him. “When will you weaklings learn it’s useless to try to sneak away and shirk your turn at impulse duty? Give me your name, then get back to work. Corrections will be waiting for you at the end of the shift.”
The Covenant had long since pieced together a fairly comprehensive vocabulary and grammar for the Seraphim language based on the content of the Memories, and all recruits were trained to speak it. Several of the terms the Seraph used were unfamiliar to Adrian, but their meanings were clear enough from context, and confirmed telepathically. He took a deep breath, praying his accent would pass muster. “I wasn’t trying to shirk my duty, sir. I’m trying to find Miheel.” He peered out from under his fins. “Are you Miheel?”
The Seraph made a sound Adrian’s telepathy interpreted as a scoffing laugh. “What sort of flimsy excuse is that? I’m Fereel. Miheel’s sleeping in his tank right now; he won’t be on duty until shift change in six hours. You low-caste scum must think we’re as stupid as you, considering the transparent lies you come up with.”
“I’m sorry, sir.” Adrian hid his face again and backed away.
“Stop right there!” Fereel darted after Adrian and glowered at him. “Don’t think you’re going to slip away before I know who to report. Your name!”
They’d prepared an alias based on the commonest pattern of Seraphim names, although Adrian had hoped not to have to use it. “Gareel, sir.”
The guard glared at him. “Now that’s a truly
stupid lie. Your size might just barely pass as Eel-caste, but not if you go around veiling to others of your supposed caste. Choose a more believable target to frame next time, whatever this Gareel has done to you.” He tilted his head and looked at Adrian with speculative eyes. “From your manner I’d think you were Een-caste if not Eek, but you’re too big for that. Ess-caste?”
Adrian was fascinated by the new glimpses into Seraphim society the Seraph was providing. This information could be vital both for the success of his own mission and for anyone in the future who needed to infiltrate the Seraphim. He wondered if he could keep Fereel talking longer. He took a gamble and invented another name on the spot. “Yes, sir. Giress.”
Fereel gave a long whistle that came across as a long-suffering sigh. “All right, Giress. If that’s really your name. I think I’d better take you in to Corrections myself.” He shifted to telepathy. Luller, Diseel, Oreel, cover for me. I’m taking a shirker in.
Only silence answered him. Fereel blinked, then oriented on Adrian, his body going rigid, his fins bristling. “You’re blocking me? No Ess-caste could—” His tail lashed. “Who are you, really?”
The jig was up. Adrian flashed into his true form and summoned a ball of energy. “Defend yourself, Seraph!”
Fereel gaped for an instant, but raised a shield to block Adrian’s attack at the last possible moment. Commander! he bellowed in Adrian’s head. Adrian could only pray his block was strong enough to contain the cry.
He hurled another missile. “I come from the planet you seek to claim. My people won’t allow yours to destroy us without a fight!”
The Seraph sent ball after blazing ball at his tether. But Adrian's attacks were far more potent. Making love to Beverly had brought the soul bond to its full potential. Now he could call on all her strength as well as his own. And that was just the beginning. The resonance effect raised his power even higher. He wondered if she could sense this battle and knew that their love was protecting him.
