Tidal Love

by KM Lowe

  “Hey. You arrived then.”

  “Of course. Don’t sound so shocked. My driver was very attentive and dropped me off at the doorstep of my hotel.”

  “And?”

  “And…” I look out over the sea again and sigh contentedly. “It’s beautiful. I’ve just called into a lovely little bar/restaurant across from the hotel. I only came in for a drink, but I might even eat dinner here in a little while. It smells delicious.”

  “If you find the right restaurants, you’ll want to eat all day long.”

  “Any recommendations?”

  “Let me have a think and I’ll send you some details. I hope you have a great trip, Harls. You deserve it.”

  “Thank you, Gav.”

  “Well, don’t be a stranger. I want to see and hear all about your trip.”

  “You’ll be the first to hear about it. I must go just now. Take care.”

  I cut off the phone call and turn my phone onto silent. I’ll never get to explore and have fun if my family are going to check up on me every minute of the day. I love them dearly, but this is an escape from reality. I want to live each moment while I can. I won’t be able to do that if I spend all of my time answering phone calls to my family back home.

  ***

  “Harleigh, isn’t it?” a voice breaks through my thoughts as I read my book.

  I look up and see Giovani and another man being seated at the table to my side. I look down at my watch and it reads eight p.m. I’ve been sitting here for about three hours. To my horror, the restaurant has filled up since I was last aware of my surroundings. Couples, families, and groups of friends have all joined various tables. It’s no longer that calm place I entered. I was transported to another world by the talented Tillie Marie. Her books have a habit of drawing me in, breaking my heart, and then healing me piece by glorious piece.

  “Hello. I’m sorry. I was a million miles away.”

  “Easy enough to do here. How was your food?” Giovani gestures to my near empty plate.

  “It was lovely. The best pasta dish I’ve had in a long time.”

  “Are you going to introduce me?” asks the gentleman sitting opposite Giovani.

  “Sorry. Lucca this is Harleigh. Harleigh, this is my annoying little brother, Lucca.”

  “Nice to meet you.” Lucca reaches over and holds his hand out to me.

  “Likewise.”

  His large hand encases mine in his and I feel a sudden wave of anxiety flow through me from head to toe, but I try to take in a deep breath without being too obvious. I hate touching people full stop, but strangers always make me extra cautious.

  I really need to get this blushing under control. It makes me look so immature and I hate it. I’m a grown adult, for goodness’ sake.

  Do I continue talking to them, say goodbye and go, or sit here and read my book?

  I don’t want to interrupt their dinner, so I immerse myself back into my book, all the while drinking my gin. I’m not sure I can concentrate on my book now, because all I can think about is the man sitting at the table beside me. I can hear his Scottish accent and it does something to me. Maybe it’s because I haven’t heard my own native accent since I left Glasgow this morning. Maybe it’s just that man. Maybe it’s a thousand other reasons that I can’t even comprehend while sitting here.

  “Excuse me.” I look over at Giovani and his brother. “If I’m being a little forward, just tell me, but I know you’re traveling alone. I was wondering if you’d care to join us for a few drinks. My brother here is an expert on the best bars in Bulgaria. I believe he’s worked hard on getting that reputation.” Giovani shrugs at Lucca, rolling his eyes.

  “We can’t all be old coffin dodgers now, can we?” Lucca ribs him back.

  I feel a smile creep over my face. The brothers are doing something many people have tried and failed to do over the last twelve months: make me laugh.

  “I couldn’t possibly impose on your plans, and I’m afraid I’d be no company. I plan on going back to my room and catching up on some sleep after a long day.”

  Just saying that out loud makes me sound so dull. I’m trying to improve my life, not go backwards. This holiday is supposed to be the making of me.

  “Sleep’s for old people,” Lucca says, taking a big gulp of his beer.

  “Ignore him.” Giovani throws a napkin at his brother and I laugh. The simple sound is alien to my own ears. “And you wouldn’t be imposing. I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want you to join us.”

  I sit in silence for a few moments. It was like I was hoping someone would make the decision for me. I’ve grown so accustomed to not being able to make my own choices, that when I can make a choice for myself, it feels weird and uncomfortable. And just like that, I find myself transported right back to the past. A place I don’t want to go again.

  I won’t go there, not right now.

  “Besides, you’ll be doing me a huge favour sharing the babysitting duties.” Giovani points over to his brother, who is making faces.

  Lucca splutters on his beer at his own childish behaviour and I laugh at him.

  “I’m not exactly dressed to go out,” I look down at my summer casual attire and cringe.

  “You’re in Bulgaria. There is no right or wrong way to dress. But, to put your mind at rest, you look beautiful just the way you are.”

  “Okay,” I say, much to my shock and horror. “If you’re sure you don’t mind me tagging along.”

  If I’m being honest, I probably wouldn’t frequent bars on my own, so this gives me a taste of what Bulgarian nightlife has to offer.

  “Of course we don’t mind.”

  I nod at Giovani and lift my bag to put my book away and pay for my meal.

  I flag down the waiter and ask for my bill. He must understand me, because he nods and walks away from my table. It’s a different waiter to when I arrived earlier and I’m sad about that because I’d like to give him a nice tip for being so helpful.

  The few moments it takes for him to come back make me nervous. I try to find any excuse to get out of this bar crawl with the guys. They seem genuine enough, and one of them runs the hotel I’m staying in. I’m sure he’s just being friendly. He’s probably just afraid that I’ll get lost on my own.

  The waiter places down the tray with my bill.

  “Thank you.” I take out forty lev and place it in the little folder. I wave him off when he tries to give me change.

  “Have a good evening.” He nods at me with a warm smile.

  I stand from my chair when Giovani and his brother stand. I don’t quite know what to do now. I have never felt as awkward in my life. Do I follow them? Do I walk alongside them? Do I talk to them about pointless things? Eurgh! I’m one of the most socially awkward people to walk this planet. I should be ashamed of myself for feeling like this. I should be bright and bubbly like my family. Only, I’m apprehensive of everything, thinking everything is about to eat me. I’m fed up being skittish and nervous around people.

  “So, what brings you to Bulgaria, Harleigh?” asks Lucca.

  I shrug, wondering if I should tell them the truth. What the hell.

  “My family railroaded me into being here. They thought I needed a break away from reality. My brother is a pilot and has travelled all over the world. He booked this holiday for me. So, here I am. I had no idea where I was going until this morning.” I smile as we walk slowly down the cobbled street.

  “You sound like you have an annoying brother just like me,” Lucca jokes and nudges Giovani in the ribs.

  “First drinks are on you for being cheeky. Annoying brothers wouldn’t let you live with them for, how long has it been?” Giovani holds his hand over his ear, pretending he can’t hear what Lucca is about to say.

  “Yeah, yeah. Keep your knickers on. Come on, we can’t not show your guest what Betty Lou has to offer. Her cocktails are divine, and she has happy hour. Buy one, get one free, all day every day.”

  “Oh, wow. I love cocktails
, but they tend to not like me.” I laugh.

  And that’s how our night started. We hit the cocktails, laughed, enjoyed each other’s company, and got a bit tipsy.

  ***

  Lucca got up to sing a song on the karaoke. By this point in the night, I fear I’ve had one too many cocktails and I would get up to sing on the karaoke and probably dance on the tables, and that is bad. I’m tone deaf. I can’t string a tune together if my life depends on it. I like music, my voice just isn’t on board. A cat’s choir springs to mind.

  “Are you having a good night?” Giovani sits back down beside me after his bathroom visit. He doesn’t look any different than he did a few hours ago. Either he can hold his alcohol better than me and Lucca, or he’s not drinking half as much as us.

  “I am. I’m glad I came out with you guys now. Your brother is a hoot.” I giggle at him singing Achy Breaky Heart. He sounds good to my ears, but I’m not sure if he actually is good, or if it’s all down to the alcohol.

  “That’s one word for him.” Giovani shakes his head and laughs. “I could think of many other words to describe him, they’re just not as kind as yours.”

  Tonight has been a good night. It’s been good to enjoy someone else’s presence. I’ve got so used to my own company lately. I was too scared of my own shadow to even see friends outside of work, not that I had many left. Maybe I should just take the proverbial bull by the horns and enjoy my second chance at life. Wait until I tell my brother this holiday has done just that; I’ll never hear the end of it. I can hear the I told you so already.

  “I’m going to have a terrible head in the morning, mixing all of these drinks.”

  I can’t remember the last alcoholic drink I had. Someone my age should be able to say I can’t remember the last time I didn’t have a drink.

  “Good at the time though, right?”

  “Right. A great start to my holiday. How long have you lived out here?”

  I change the topic to something I’ve wanted to ask all night, but the lack of liquid courage kept my lips sealed. Now, the alcohol is fuelling my loose lips and I’m not scared to ask questions.

  “I’ve been coming out to Bulgaria for about five years. I’ve only been living and running The Ranch since 2017. I can’t imagine my life anywhere else now. I love it out here in the peak season. We’re far enough away from the hustle and bustle of Sunny Beach, but close enough if we want the nightlife and shops.”

  I nod. It must be good to have your life all wrapped up with a pretty little bow. I’ve been existing and have no idea what life has in store for me. “What do you do when the season finishes? Do you stay here?”

  “I stay here until about late October, early November. But then I do a bit of travelling for myself. I go home and visit my family in Italy, and then in late February, early March, I come back to the Bulgarian mountains and do some skiing, before I return here in April.”

  I nod in awe of this man having his life in order. “Sounds amazing. I wondered about your names since you have Scottish accents.”

  Giovani turns more on his side to face me. “My parents are from Italy. I was born in Scotland. My parents had their own chain of restaurants called Mama Bella. They retired about eight years ago and returned to Italy not long after. It’s hard to lose the Scottish accent, not that I’d want to. Scotland is more my home than Italy ever was.”

  “Scotland is a beautiful place,” I agree.

  “What about yourself? You spend all your time in Scotland?”

  I nod. I suddenly feel dull compared to Giovani. “I get the school holidays off since I’m a teacher, so I do get the opportunity to travel and visit different places. I just haven’t had that luxury lately.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that.”

  “Don’t be. My life is starting all over again this summer, and who knows what will happen next? I might get that travelling bug again.”

  I feel proud of myself for looking to the future instead of just living day by day, stuck in the past.

  “Well, here’s to the future.” Giovani holds up his bottle of beer and I knock my Daiquiri glass against his and giggle.

  I don’t know how many of these cocktails I’ve had, but I have a warm feeling floating all over my body. I like it. It makes me feel carefree. The most carefree I’ve been in such a long time.

  “Your turn.” Lucca throws his arms around my shoulders and takes my glass from me. “Come on, Harl. Don’t let the team down. You can’t come here and not sing.”

  “No. No. Nope. I can’t sing. Gio, help me!” I protest, but my trusted friend just holds his hands up and lets his brother man handle me up onto the stage.

  It’s a stark contrast to the way I felt shaking Lucca’s hand just a short couple of hours ago. Now, I’m up singing with him, enjoying his company, not flinching when he touches my bare skin.

  “I got you, Harls. We can make a fool of ourselves together. This is Bulgaria. Everyone is too happy to care about the Scottish person singing terribly on karaoke. They probably don’t even understand you. Everyone is an amazing singer here.”

  As the melody of I Got You Babe floats through the air, I feel myself swaying to the tune.

  No one will remember me tomorrow. I’ll be going home in a few weeks where no one will ever see me again. I can make a fool of myself if I want to.

  ***

  Who would have thought cobbled streets would be a fucker to walk on when you’re intoxicated? I feel like a toddler learning to walk again.

  I’m sandwiched in between Lucca and Gio. I don’t know who’s worse, me or Lucca. I’m glad I’m not alone, and Gio is taking our crazy drunkenness in his stride. He hasn’t once treated us like we’re embarrassing him or acting ridiculous.

  “Back to Gio’s for a nightcap,” yells Lucca.

  “Oh, no. I can’t do that. I’ve put you both out enough tonight,” I protest.

  “Nonsense. Tell her, Gio. We’ll make sure she gets back to the hotel safely.”

  “As much as it kills me to agree with Lucca, he’s right. My house is just down the road from here. Five minutes from the hotel. I’ll get you back to your room in one piece.”

  “You have coffee?” I ask boldly.

  “Only the best coffee in Bulgaria,” Gio states proudly.

  “Okay. You have a deal.”

  The intoxicated me has no filter or ability to tell the devil on my shoulder to behave. I’m quite happy to rebel against my usual shy self. It has taken me long enough to stick the middle finger up to life.

  We stop outside large iron gates. Gio types in a code on the panel and they open to let us through. The top of the house is on stilts and it’s stunning. I don’t know what I expected, but this wasn’t it. It’s like something you see in a magazine.

  “You have a beautiful house.”

  “Thanks. Come on. The lady wants coffee.”

  And that’s what we do. Entering Giovani’s house was peaceful and quiet. Even the surrounding areas are tranquil for a holiday hotspot. We walk upstairs to get into his main living area. It’s bright and spacious, fit for a king.

  “Can I tempt you with something stronger than coffee, m’lady?” asks Lucca.

  I sit down on the couch and wave my hands offendedly. “Absolutely not. I’ve drunk more alcohol today than I have in…” I pause and think about the last time I had a drink. “Well, such a long time.”

  I won’t be transported to the time when tea and coffee was the only thing I could drink.

  “You’re on holiday, enjoy it.” Lucca sits down opposite me with a bottle of beer in his hands. “I might be a little delicate tomorrow, too.” He raises his bottle in the air a little too hard and some sloshes out of the top over his hand.

  “Ye think?” I laugh and slip off my shoes. It surprises me how at home I feel. “I’ll be dying tomorrow. I’ll probably lose a day of my holiday, but I’ve had fun tonight.”

  “You only live once, dolly. What’s one day when you’ve had a great night?”
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  And there hasn’t been a truer word spoken. I’m done just existing. I don’t want to be one of those people who live a full life and have nothing to show for it. I don’t want to live until old age, and no one knows who I am. I want to make my mark on the world. I want to show people what I’m capable of.

  “So, plans tomorrow, troops?” asks Gio as he approaches me with a large coffee mug in his hand.

  “Thank you. I plan on exploring the area. Anywhere you suggest?”

  I inhale the coffee like I need it to live. It’s the best thing I’ve smelled all damn day. It even beats my sea view at dinner time.

  “You need to check out Michael’s Eco bar. It’s along a wee alley at the back of the hotel. It’s in a little hidey hole. It’s an amazing place. You need to be there for it opening at twelve p.m., because people come from all over Bulgaria just to see it.”

  “Why is it called Eco Bar? Is it eco-friendly?”

  “Something like that. It is all manmade, like a cave. Once you’re inside, it opens up and there are pools of water, trees, and little booths where you can have a refreshing drink. The best bit is the little turtles that swim around you.”

  “Real turtles?” I ask excitedly.

  “Absolutely real. You can’t be in Old Nessebar without seeing it. If you meet me in the hotel lobby tomorrow morning about 11.30, I’ll give you directions. It’s pretty hard to find if you don’t know where it is. When I’m out in the village shopping, I get asked so many times where it is. I should wear an arrow attached to me saying, Michael’s Eco Bar this way.”

  “Wow! Now I’m excited to see it. I’m fairly sure I’ll be like the walking dead, though.”

  “Michael’s is lovely and cool. The best place to be in the scorching heat. I live here, but the beauty of Old Nessebar and places like Michael’s never gets old. I guarantee by the end of your holiday you won’t want to leave, and you’ll return year after year just to see things grow and become bigger and better.”

  “Now I know why my brother sent me here. He knows me too well. I like history and exploring new areas. I like seeing different things.”

  “He sounds like a good guy.” Giovani folds his legs underneath himself and now I feel like he’s towering over me, but in a good way. He doesn’t intimidate me or make me feel nervous, which is good.