The Reluctant Princess

by Raye Morgan

  “What about the girls?” she asked. “Weren’t there twin girls?”

  “Yes,” he said, surprised that she knew that much about them. “No evidence of their whereabouts has ever been found.”

  “Oh.” Her eyes looked very sad for a moment. “How old would they be?”

  “I’m not sure. In their late twenties, I’d say.”

  She nodded, her eyes haunted. She was thinking of how she would feel if Dede were taken from her and she couldn’t find her again for twenty-five years. It broke her heart to think of such a thing.

  “But now it turns out there was a third girl.”

  She turned her gaze to him, fear flashing in the depths of her eyes.

  He shook his head, wishing he knew how to convince her this wasn’t the end of the world. “Queen Elineas had a baby girl born just before the Granvillis struck. No one ever knew, as they kept it secret, fearing what was about to happen to them and their monarchy.”

  Kim’s face was set now. She stared at the wall, no hint of what she was thinking. But something about the tilt of her head reminded him of a painting he’d seen of Anne Boleyn, waiting for the executioner.

  “Kim, that beautiful little girl was claimed by one of the queen’s favorite maids as her own. She took her home with her when the fighting began. She raised her. And Kim…that little girl was you.”

  “No,” she whispered, still staring at the wall and slowly shaking her head. “My mother was Lady Constance. She was older when she had me. That’s why she didn’t tell anyone until it was all over. It was quite a surprise to her that all went so well. But she always told me that having me was the biggest joy of her life.” Turning slowly, she stared at him, her eyes dark in the candlelight. “She would have told me the truth,” she said softly. “She would have told me before she died.”

  He shrugged. What could he say to her about that? Anything he thought of sounded like a made-up excuse and he didn’t want her to think he was conning her. He was telling her truth and he wasn’t going to set up doubts by adding salesmanship.

  “I don’t believe it,” she said firmly, then gazed at him in defiance. “Someone is just tricking you. This is all crazy. I don’t want to be a DeAngelis. I don’t want to be a stupid princess of the realm. I want to be who I am.” Tears welled in her eyes and her voice broke. “I want to be left alone.”

  She rose clumsily, almost overturning her chair, and went to the sink, turning on the hot water as high as she could and scrubbing the sink with a brush.

  “Kim.” He rose and stood close to her, wishing he knew what to say. Tentatively, he reached out and touched her hair. “Why don’t you give it some time. Why don’t you…”

  She turned to face him, her eyes shooting daggers through the tears. “Why do you expect me to accept all this from you? You hate me.”

  He was taken aback. “Hate you? Why would I hate you?”

  “Admit it. I can see it in your eyes. Every time you mention Leonardo.”

  “Hey.” He took her by the shoulders, looking down into her face. “I’ll admit to hating him. But you…”

  “You despise me because I slept with him.” Her chin rose in a teary challenge. “Don’t you?”

  He hesitated. He wasn’t even sure that was true any longer. But his hesitation made her more sure of it.

  “See? You can’t deny it.”

  “Yes, I do deny it,” he protested. “I may have felt that way at first.”

  “Yes, you made it very plain. I’m not much good.” She turned away, her shoulders shaking and her voice breaking. “Me and my…my…Granvilli baby.”

  A sob broke through her misery and he couldn’t take it any longer.

  “Kim.” He pulled her into his arms and up against his chest, gasping as she hit the ribs, but not about to stop her for it. “Kim, don’t. You have nothing to cry about. Really.”

  He looked down and she looked up, her face wet and beautiful, and he bent down and kissed her. He hadn’t planned that. If he’d thought things through, he never would have done it. But the moment came and he kissed her.

  “Oh!”

  She was surprised, but she didn’t pull away. He was big and he was male and he smelled so good. His kiss was perfect, gentle and comforting rather than aggressive. There was no demand in his touch, no urgency, but the sensuality was an extra thrill, a sweet and sexy charge of electricity that couldn’t be ignored.

  It had been so long since she’d felt the protective arms of a man around her. She couldn’t help but let herself sink into it. It was so extraordinary, so wonderful.

  “Even better than a hot shower,” she whispered to herself as he began to draw back. Her eyes were still closed. She was savoring the moment.

  “What?” he said, frowning at her and wondering what he was getting himself into at the same time. He shouldn’t have kissed her. But he couldn’t really say he regretted it. She tasted as good as she looked—sort of sweet and tangy, like a lusciously ripe citrus fruit. It was a taste he was pretty sure would linger with him.

  “You feel good,” she told him, blinking rapidly and backing away. “But I still don’t want to be a princess. And I still think you hold Leonardo against me. And Dede.”

  He shook his head, taking her seriously. It was true that the thought of her being with Leonardo made him cringe inside. The man was such scum, he couldn’t understand why any woman would let him anywhere within touching distance. Still, that didn’t mean the baby was to blame.

  “No one can ever fault the baby,” he said reasonably. “They have no say in the matter.”

  She looked up at him, her eyes dry now, but filled with a rueful sense of irony. “And you think I did?”

  His head jerked in her direction. “What do you mean by that?”

  She turned her head away. “Nothing. Nothing at all.”

  “Kim…” There was something there, but he lost it when she turned back and touched his cheek with the palm of her hand, making his heart jump in his chest.

  “Take care, Jake. Be good to your sister. She needs a champion like you to guard her. Things are likely to get a lot rougher before we heal this rift.”

  He grabbed her hand and wouldn’t let her withdraw it. “What are you talking about?” he asked her. “You sound like you’re saying goodbye.”

  “Do I?” She shook her head and gave him a sad smile. Her gaze ranged restlessly over his handsome face. “I’m just so tired, I don’t know what I’m saying. I’m going to bed.”

  She pulled on her hand and he let it go reluctantly.

  “When is your appointment tomorrow?” he asked before she had a chance to leave the room.

  She looked back at him. Her eyes were hooded. “In the afternoon. Two o’clock.”

  His mouth hardened. “Where is it?”

  She shrugged. “I don’t even know yet. Dr. Harve said he’d tell me just as I left, so as not to risk anyone else knowing.”

  He grunted, annoyed. “Me, he meant.”

  Her sad smile was back. “Maybe.”

  He looked at her assessingly. “Are you going into work in the morning?”

  “No. I’m staying here. I took the day off.”

  He nodded. “All right, then.” He watched as she started out of the kitchen, into the gloom, and he went to the doorway and called her back one last time.

  “Kim, don’t go to the man,” he said, the urgency of his feelings clear in his voice. “It’s no good and you know it.”

  She shook her head, but before she could speak, he went two steps closer and took both her hands in his, gazing at her earnestly.

  “There’s a simple solution to all this, of course. And you know what it is.”

  “No.” She shook her head so hard her hair wh
ipped across her face.

  He held her hands tightly. “Go back with me to the castle and you’ll have access to all the medical help and the best facilities you could ask for.” He almost wanted to beg her. “It’s a short trip across the island, Kim. I can take you there in one day.”

  She gave him another sample of her sad smile and slipped her hands out of his, then headed for her bedroom.

  “We’ll talk more in the morning,” he said hopefully.

  She nodded, looking back at him, and this time she made it to her room.

  She’d lied about the time of her appointment. It was ten in the morning. She planned to get out of here with her baby, go to the appointment, and not come back to the apartment. That would mean finding another place to stay for a week or so. By then, hopefully, Jake would give up and go back to the castle without her.

  Could she get away with it? Why not? If the pediatrician turned out to be as good as they said he was, it was worth a try. Only time would tell how this would all shake out.

  One thing was sure—she wasn’t going to be a DeAngelis princess. And she wasn’t going back to be Pellea’s pet again. Not ever.

  CHAPTER SIX

  THE morning sun scattered her fears and doubts like blossoms in a strong spring breeze. What had she been thinking last night? She’d let a combination of the electricity failing, being awake after midnight, the crush of all her troubles, and finally, Jake’s influence, put her in a very bad place—a place where she didn’t have to be. So when he’d come at her with this crazy story about her being royal, and tried to convince her it was serious, she’d been very low on defensive power and couldn’t resist the emotions he’d conjured up for her.

  This whole fantasy that the royals were trying to foist on her was complete nonsense. She’d heard bits and pieces of it before and had dismissed it out of hand. She knew who her mother was, she knew who had raised her and loved her and made her into the person she was today. For them to try to tear apart her reality and destroy the feelings she had for the only person in this world who ever truly loved her, just to force her to come back to their side, was despicable as far as she was concerned. She wasn’t going to let them.

  As for Jake—she couldn’t believe he could actually be in on it, not fully. She was pretty sure he thought he was telling her the truth. He just couldn’t be that good a liar. Much as they were at dagger’s point with each other on a lot of things, she would like to think he at least had the integrity not to fall in with that sort of scheme. Somehow, they had convinced him.

  But none of this mattered anymore. After today, she hoped never to see Jake again. And then, hopefully, the messengers from the castle would stop.

  They’d been coming for the past six months, one after another. The first had been a young footman named Billy she’d known in the old days. He’d come to her cottage in Dorcher Cliffs with a simple message. Pellea wanted her best friend back and was ready to coax her. What would it take to get her to return?

  That one had been easy to laugh off. She’d always liked Billy. That was surely why they had chosen him. So she’d fed him a nice dinner and gave him too much wine so that he’d told her everything—how Pellea and the rest of them were always plotting and trying to arrange matters. As if they didn’t have anything better to do. Once she’d found out everything she wanted to know, she’d sent him packing.

  The next came a month later, a nice young girl name Posey who had a flair for the dramatic. Kim had known her mother when she worked in the castle kitchen in the past. Posey pretended to know dangerous secrets and hinted around about dark spells and magic potions and foundlings who had to be returned to their proper places. Kim couldn’t make heads nor tails of what she said, but when she announced that saying any more would endanger them both and might send Kim to the royal dungeon, she’d had enough and sent her packing as well.

  And they were only the first two. Others came over the border to find her. None was very effectual. They begged, they pleaded, they claimed that Pellea was moping about for want of her best friend. Kim didn’t believe a word of it and she stopped even being polite about it.

  But Jake was the first to find her since she came to the city. He was also the one with most stature and rank, making her wonder why Pellea would send such an important person. But then he began trying to peddle a story of misplaced birth mothers even more seriously than the others. Hah. She didn’t believe a word of that, either.

  She was picking up clutter in the living room when Jake opened his eyes. He looked at her. She looked at him. The memory of what had happened the night before grew between them and before she knew it, they were both laughing.

  “You know that it all didn’t mean a thing, don’t you?” she insisted right away. “You realize it was all part of the usual night terrors you get when the shadows are too thick and the time is too late.”

  He growled at her. “Are you saying that kissing me reminds you of your most ugly nightmares?” he asked softly.

  “No, of course not.” She laughed again, shaking her head. What was she saying, anyway? She wasn’t sure. Luckily, Dede was crying and she had an excuse to turn away from him.

  Dede wasn’t doing very well this morning. Her little lower lip was pouted out and Kim could see the pain in her. Still, her pretty little eyes tried to smile. She was the sweetest of babies. Kim’s heart broke, watching how hard she tried to remain cheerful, and something fierce grew inside her. She would do anything for this baby. No one was going to stop her from taking her to the pediatrician. Nobody.

  “Have you been listening to the news?” Jake asked a bit later, after Dede had been calmed and fed and was cooing happily in her crib.

  There was no television in this skimpily furnished apartment, but Jake had found an old radio and listened to it now and then.

  “No,” she said, surprised by his tone. “What’s going on?”

  “It looks like the Granvilli government—or what’s left of it, is about to fall apart. They say the only thing that could save it would be for Leonardo to show up and rally the factions to work together again. But nobody seems to know where he is.” Staring at her, he raised one dark eyebrow.

  She blinked. “Don’t look at me. I’ve told you over and over again that he has nothing to do with my current life.”

  He nodded, noting the careful way she’d put that. On one level, he believed her. Why? Just basically because she was the sort of woman who tended to tell the truth. But there was so much more going on than simple relationships could encompass. There were international ties and incidents and remnants of war and power struggles. As someone had said once, their lives didn’t matter a hill of beans compared to the major forces gathering and preparing to vie for power, wealth and influence. The big boys were at their games, and the regular people had better get out of the way if they could. They were the ones who tended to get hurt when the last card was played.

  “You do realize that this isn’t going to last,” he told her calmly. “They might pull the government together one more time, Leonardo might even show up and rekindle some spirit, but it’s all just in one big holding pattern. Everybody’s waiting for the end.”

  “I’m not,” she said stoutly, casually folding some baby clothes to put into the bag she was going to take with her and hoping he wouldn’t think a thing of it. “For me, the end came long ago. I’m busy dealing with the fallout.”

  He frowned, not sure what she could mean by that. But he let it go. He was tired of arguing. What would be, would be.

  “The whole of society is falling apart,” he told her rather dolefully. “You can’t find a decent doctor. The police are nowhere to be seen. Electricity is unreliable, cell phone service is out. I wonder how Wifi is doing. The country is regressing to conditions of a hundred years ago.”

  She kicked a baby blanket out of
her path, annoyed with him for going on this way. Deep in her heart, she knew it was probably true. But what good did it do thinking about it now? There was nothing she could do about it. Besides, her goals were more short-term at the moment.

  “The DeAngelis royals are eventually going to come in and take over this side of the island, too,” he said flatly, following her progress through the room with his crystal-blue gaze. “You know it. And what are you going to do then?”

  “I’ll deal with that when it happens.” She threw him a quick glare. “Maybe I’ll just go further into the mountains. There are people up there who have lived away from the rest of Ambrian society for decades, you know.”

  “Okay. I see. You’ll join the mountain people.” He grinned, obviously amused. “Hey, that sounds like fun. Maybe I’ll come with you.”

  She resisted the temptation to grin back at him. He would be fun if she would only let him be. She knew that. But she also knew that it didn’t pay to get too friendly with people. You began to rely on them, and then they always let you down. And sometimes, they did worse than that.

  She glanced at the clock. The minutes ticked by. In another hour, she would be arriving at the pediatrician’s location. She only hoped and prayed that he would be able to help Dede.

  She’d packed away her baby’s things and a bottle in case she needed it. She was pretty much ready to go. The only thing that was worrying her now was whether or not Jake would go back to sleep before the time came for her to grab Dede and go.

  To her chagrin, she’d actually played around with the idea of trying to drug him. She certainly had enough medicine still hanging around from what Dr. Harve had given him that first day. But when it came right down to it, she couldn’t do it. It just wasn’t right. If he didn’t go to sleep, she would tell him she was taking Dede to the park and she would slip out anyway.

  And then—a miracle. She looked over at him, and Jake was asleep in the big, deep chair. Her heart jumped and she went quickly to her notebook, tore a paper out and wrote him a quick message. Then she gathered together as many of Dede’s things as she could possibly carry and gave one last glance at Jake. It gave her a pang to see him sleeping there, oblivious to what she was doing. He was so handsome. She looked at his full, beautiful lips and smiled as she remembered the kiss. She paused a second longer, itching to reach out and brush back the dark hair that had fallen over his forehead. But she couldn’t risk waking him.