by R H Tucker
Becca scoffs, Landon curls his lip, staring daggers at me, and Zoey puts her hands on her hips, dropping her jaw. But I give a cocky smirk because screw this guy. I am not giving up that easily.
Little do I know, it’s not screw this guy. It’s screw me. “Screw you, Derrik,” Zoey yells at me. “That was completely uncalled for. What the hell?”
“What?” I shrug. “Was Becca lying?”
“This has nothing to do with Becca lying or not. This has everything to do with you.”
“Me?”
“Yes. You!” Stepping closer, she shoves a finger in my chest. “You, as in my ex-boyfriend. You, as in what appears to be at the moment, a jealous ex-boyfriend. And you don’t know the first thing about Landon. How dare you!”
She’s completely right, and everything inside breaks. What the hell is wrong with me? What have I been saying and thinking and doing this entire time she’s been with us? She has a boyfriend. And if I didn’t want to believe it before, I have no choice but to accept it now. She’s happy. With him.
“I …” I glance down at the ground. “Sorry.”
Spinning around, I quickly head to the elevator, and away from this entire mess I’ve created.
20
Zoey
We all watch in silence as Derrik blends into the small crowd that still lingers around. Some of the onlookers glare at me, giving me dirty looks. They had to have heard my words, which means they know what I called him. But it makes no difference. Most of them are girls, and they all look over at me with menacing glares, eyeing me up and down. They’re undoubtedly wondering who I am and why I just chewed out their rock star icon who they’ll be throwing their bras at later tonight.
“You okay?” Landon whispers to me.
“I mean, who does he think he is?” I explode. “Sure, we keep in contact. He texts me, but this has been the first time in over a year that we’ve really been around each other, and even with that, he’s hardly ever around, and what about Danica? That thing’s a walking crazy party in itself, plus I’m graduating and going to college and—”
“Zoey,” Landon cuts off my rambling. “He’s gone.”
I glance around and see more of the crowd dispersed. Then Becca nods, confirming his words. When I look back at Landon, he watches me cautiously. He’s never done anything to me to have any fears from what Derrik said. Yes, he has a past, but so do I. I went out with Derrik, but Landon’s here not even bringing him up today. He just wants to be my boyfriend.
Leaning into him, I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him. I expect him to kiss me back, but he jerks his head away. “What are you doing?”
I keep my arms around him, peering up at him. “I’m kissing you.”
“Why?”
A feeling of rejection and embarrassment spread through me. I pull my hands back and step away from him, closer to the barrier. Gazing out over the city, I let out a long sigh, unsure what’s happening to me and everyone around me.
“Hey,” Landon says, stepping next to me, wrapping an arm around my waist. “I just mean—”
“If you don’t want me to kiss you—”
“Zoey, I want you to kiss me,” he replies with a chuckle. “I love kissing you. I just want to make sure you’re kissing me for the right reason.”
I stare at him. “And what other reason would I have?”
“I think you know.”
Our eyes stay connected. I’ve never noticed the small flakes of hazel in his light caramel eyes. A strained smile crosses his lips, and I think this is the first time I realize there’s a small scar just under his chin. Little details I’ve never taken notice because Becca’s been right. I haven’t been fully invested in this relationship. That changes today.
Keeping my eyes on his, I smile. “Like I said, you don’t have anything to worry about. And I don’t care what Derrik or anyone else says, I know I don’t have anything to worry about with you.” My words earn a grin from him. “And I’m glad I get to spend a day in Seattle with my boyfriend.”
His grin grows wider, and he leans lower, connecting his lips with mine.
“Ugh!” Becca groans behind me, forcing me to break contact and start giggling. “You two and that sweetness are making me sick.”
“Come on.” I pull away but take Landon’s hand. “I want to go on the Ferris wheel.”
The Ferris wheel is actually the Great Wheel on Pier 57. I comfortably sit next to my boyfriend, gazing out over the city skyline, and make sure to hold his hand. After the slow spin, we take a picture, and I cutely pose, kissing him on the cheek.
Venturing farther along the other piers, we walk around to window shop and find our way over to the Seattle aquarium. I pull out some money, but Landon pushes my hand away and pays for all three of our tickets. I give him another peck on the cheek.
After the aquarium, we’re all getting pretty hungry, so Becca mentions the small alley that’s a hidden line of shops and small restaurants that a lot of people forget. It’s a tourist spot if you know about it, and when we get there, we find it less crowded than some of the spots on the piers. We grab a table at a small surf ’n’ turf place, enjoy some food, and I ask Landon if he wants to share a dessert. We order a sundae, and I playfully eat the cherry, tying the stem into a knot with my tongue, then dot a drop of vanilla ice cream on his nose. Because he’s my boyfriend.
On our way to the underground tour, Becca eyes me carefully. Cocking my head to the side, I silently ask her what that look is for, and she shakes her head.
After the underground tour, we decide to head to the airport to make sure he gets through check-in and all the other lines. When we reach the final area that Becca and I can’t go past, he pulls me closer.
“Okay, I’ll just be over there.” Becca points across the room, rolling her eyes with a laugh.
“I’m happy you surprised me today,” I say softly, putting my arms over his shoulders.
“Me too. To be honest, I wasn’t sure how you were going to react.”
“Why?”
“I didn’t want you thinking I was jealous. Sorry again for how I acted when you first decided to do this.”
“I get it. If the roles were reversed, I might be a little jealous of you. But you’re my boyfriend, Landon.” My words put a new smile on him. He leans a little closer, his lips meeting mine while his arms pull me closer.
Aside from the nervous feelings everyone gets when kissing someone for the first time, I want to feel the butterflies still. I want to feel the urge to keep my lips against his, the burn when his arms keep me close, or the tips of his fingers touch my skin. I want the world to melt away and be the only thing standing with him, oblivious to the universe. Because he’s my boyfriend.
But I don’t.
“Wow,” he whispers, breaking away from me only far enough to catch his breath. “Now, I’m really glad I surprised you.”
His joke makes me smile, but I still don’t have those butterflies. Maybe we just need a little more time.
Walking away, he keeps his hand locked with mine until he can’t anymore. I wait at the border, watching him go farther and farther until he passes through a security checkpoint. After being scanned, he grabs his things, looks back one last time, and waves. I return the wave, and he turns the corner and out of sight.
As I’m heading back to Becca, she strolls over, and we make our way toward the exit of the airport. “Well, that was interesting,” she says, a little lower than I’m used to.
“What?”
When she doesn’t answer, I look over. She glances at me quickly before staring straight ahead. “Nothing. I’m just saying, you were really dotey today.”
“Dotey?” I ask. I know the word, but I don’t understand why she’s bringing it up and acting like it’s a bad thing.
“You’re never cutesy like that.”
“He’s my boyfriend, Becca.”
“I know. I think that might be the problem.” She shakes her head as we walk through double do
ors, toward the parking garage where our car is waiting for us.
Grabbing her arm, I stop her. “How would that be a problem?”
Taking a deep breath, she folds her arms, staring at the cement beneath our feet. Finally, lifting her head to meet my gaze, she has a slight frown strewn over her face. “It’s not a problem, Zoey. If that’s you. Look, we’ve talked about everything else, so I get it. You don’t want to take a chance, or you don’t think it’ll work, or whatever. And that’s fine.” She lets out an unbelieving chuckle. “Seriously, I know what I’ve said, but I do think it’s okay if that’s how you really feel. But Landon? I’ve never seen you act that way around him before, and you two have been going out for months now. Are you sure …” She averts her eyes, biting her lip. “Are you sure you’re not acting like that just because he’s your boyfriend?”
I let out a pathetic sigh. “I don’t get you. If you’re okay with my decision on Derrik, then how am I supposed to act around Landon? Aren’t I supposed to want to be around him, and kiss him, and act as his girlfriend?”
“That’s just it. You’re acting like you’re his girlfriend.”
“You’re crazy.”
“Am I?”
Our eyes hold a stalemate. None of her words have been malicious. They’ve been understanding and empathetic. But once you make a decision, you have to stick to it. You have to see it through, right? And everything I’ve decided is a good decision. It makes sense.
I release another sigh. “He’s … my boyfriend.”
“You’ve said that already. I’m just worried you’re trying to convince yourself that you guys are right for one another, instead of actually believing it.”
21
Derrik
“Thank you, Seattle!” I scream out to the crowd after our encore performance. We all make our way off stage, and I immediately see Danica.
To say I was all over the place during the performance tonight would be an understatement. I didn’t forget any lines or anything like that, I was just … off. And I know exactly why.
After acting like an ass to Zoey, I was forced to come to grips with everything. Both with Danica and Zoey. I’m in a fake relationship with Danica so our careers can prosper, and I’m in a fake relationship with Zoey in my head. She’s happy with someone else. I can’t take that away from her, even if I think she might have lingering feelings for me. Sometimes people have lingering feelings for their first loves for the rest of their lives, that doesn’t mean they don’t move on. I just have to figure out how to do that now and apologize to Zoey.
“Derrik!” Danica grabs my arm, jumping up and down. “We’re going to The Emerald.”
“Why?”
The Emerald is one of the most luxurious hotels in Seattle, if not the most. But I’m tired and worn out, both physically from the performance and mentally from the entire day. Right now, all I really want to do is zone out back at our room, eat a bag of frozen pizza treats, and figure out how to apologize to Zoey.
“I just found out Francesca Mallory is throwing an amazing party, and she invited us. Cooper Jenkins, Lisa Navaro, and Alicia Summers are all filming their next movie here, and they’re going to be there. We have to go, Derrik. We have to.”
“Come on, Dani.” I try to wiggle my fingers free from hers, but it’s no use. She has a death-lock around them. “Can’t we just head back to the hotel? The bus is leaving early tomorrow for the show as it is. I kind of just want to relax.”
“But this is going to be epic. Plus, I might be able to get Alicia and Cooper to do a guest spot on the show.”
“So then, you go.”
“Derrik.” She stamps her foot, finally releasing my hand, only to glare at me with contempt. “This’ll be good for you, too. You’ve only been posting on our InstaPic profiles. You rubbing elbows with the rest of them will get more eyes on you guys in the long run.”
I’m just about to offer my counter-argument when I throw my head back and groan. I know anything I say will be met with her own counter, so I do the next best thing. “Fine.”
“Yay!” she squeals, jumping up and down.
“Let me go to our dressing room and take a quick shower. You have a car?”
“Already waiting outside.”
“Okay, I’ll meet you there. Give me a few minutes.”
Without hesitation, she spins on her heels, shouting over her shoulder, “Hurry!”
Oh, I’m gonna hurry. I take off in the opposite direction of her, and speed by EJ. “Where are you going?” he shouts, since he knows our dressing room is in the same direction as Danica.
“No time!” I shout back with a laugh.
Getting around the entrance area, I see a clear path toward the bus and make a break for it. If I can hide in the bus for a minute, I might be able to get out of the party. She’ll no doubt try to find me, but with our hotel room only a few blocks away, I’m already figuring out how to sneak out of the bus and escape to our hotel suite.
Running onto the bus, I immediately rush to the back, since the bunks aren’t good hiding spots. Sliding the door open, I find Zoey in the room holding a shirt. She spins around, startled, and lets out a scream.
“What are you doing?”
Gone are the aforementioned thoughts of apologizing to her. All I can think about is hiding from Danica for the moment. I rush over to the window and horrifically see Danica already approaching the bus. “Damn it,” I hiss out, and dive onto the bed.
“Scoot over!” I dig myself under the covers, leaving Zoey completely shocked.
“What in the world are you doing?” she repeats.
“Shh!” I throw a finger to my lips. “I’m hiding. You know nothing!” Sliding between the bed and wall, I try to pull the blankets off of the bed just enough to give myself cover and look inconspicuous.
“Derrik!” I hear the scream from the front of the bus.
I remain silent, squinting my eyes closed, so I can barely see the ceiling of the room. My fingers clutch the blankets like I’m hiding from a homicidal monster in the middle of the night, and not a hot actress who wants to take me to a party.
I hear the door slide back open and then silence.
“Hey,” Zoey calls over to her.
“Oh, sorry,” Danica responds. She actually sounds sincere. “I’m looking for Derrik. I was gonna wait in the car but forgot to tell him to wear something blue, so we match.” I roll my eyes. “EJ said he saw him heading toward the exit.”
“Huh. Weird,” Zoey responds.
“You haven’t seen him?”
There’s a pause. Would Zoey really turn me over? Is she that pissed off at me after my Space Needle stunt that she’d tell her I’m in here? I know I was a jerk and out of line, but is she that mad?
After another second, my fears are eased. “Uh … nope. Haven’t seen him,” Zoey finally answers.
I can imagine Danica’s face. Trying to decide if she believes her. I think she’s jealous of Zoey, but not in a relationship kind of way. I haven’t told her any of my history with Zoey, but she knows she’s my friend, and I’ve made it painfully obvious I’ve been trying to spend time with her during this trip. I can only imagine what’s going through her mind.
“Well, if you see him, tell him to text me.”
“Sure,” Zoey replies.
After another second, I hear the door shut. Struggling, I prop myself up, poking my head above the bed. Zoey stares at me like I’ve gone crazy. Maybe I have. This entire day has been absolutely nuts.
“Thanks,” I whisper. I try to pull myself up, but the comforter on the bed starts to slide, and I fall back against the wall. “Um, a little help?”
She continues to stare. “Are you eleven? Hiding from her? I’d expect that from Maddox, trying to get away from one of those screaming girls, but not from you.”
“You’ve seen how she is. What else am I supposed to do?”
She mulls it over, biting her bottom lip, and I can see she’s trying not to smile. Meanwhi
le, I’m still stuck between the bed and the wall. “A little help, please?”
Shaking her head with a giggle, she crawls over the bed and reaches out for my hand. I try to push off the floor and not the bed, still feeling the pinch around my waist. “Come on, Z.”
“I’m trying!”
Getting to her knees, she grabs my arm with both of her hands. I shove off the ground a little harder this time, and with her force, finally climb up onto the bed, but she keeps pulling. Losing my balance once out of the bed-wall trap, I fly into her, and we crash down onto the bed, both of us laughing. I’m inches away from her face, and I already have the urge to kiss her.
“Thanks,” I whisper, not moving away.
Her eyes flitter from mine to my lips, then back up. I see her nibble on her bottom lip, nodding. A light splash of pink spreads across her cheeks, and she averts her gaze, breaking the connection, so I roll away and sit up next to her.
The quietness drifts between us. My apology comes back to mind, but I hesitate. There’s no way she can’t feel this right now. So close to her, it’s like the air in the room changes. Not just the temperate, but everything. It’s denser. We’re being drawn together. A mysterious force encompasses us, and the closer I get to her, the more I want to be around her. The more I want to hear her laugh, or hold her hand, or taste her lips. There’s no way she can’t feel that, too. Right?
“What you did today …” Her words fade out, but it hurts knowing she’s the one bringing it up when I should be. “That was a really crappy thing, Derrik.”
“I know,” I whisper. Crossing my legs, I pick at the loose strands of material from a rip in my jeans. “I’m sorry, Zoey. I don’t know why I did that.”
“You know why.” Her accusatory words force me to look over at her. About a foot away, she sits with her knees under her but keeps her glare on me.
I nod, taking a deep breath. “Yeah. Z, I had this entire trip planned out. I was going to spend time with you, and we’d hang out after the shows. You were going to have an amazing time.”
