Freefall

by Robin Brande

  “Ever?”

  In the silence that followed, Eliza took the time to replay what she had just said. How must that sound to a normal human being?

  “I’m not...ready.”

  “Okay, fair enough,” Ted said. “We’ll go out to dinner just this once and it will be fine—I promise. If you hate it, you never have to do it again.”

  Even if he meant if lightly, the promise actually mattered to Eliza.

  “I need to tell you right now,” she said. “I don’t want you to kiss me.”

  “Okay, then, I won’t.”

  “You have to swear it to me. I’m serious, Ted—there can’t be any of that.”

  “You make an attractive offer yourself,” Ted joked, “but I promise I’ll be good.” In a more serious tone he repeated, “Really, Eliza, I promise.”

  “No place fancy,” she said. “I’m done wearing a dress for a while.”

  “No fancy. Check. I know just the place. See you at seven.”

  “Tonight?”

  “Tonight.”

  “Wait, I—”

  “Nothing fancy. Bye.”

  Eliza held on to the phone even after she heard the click.

  Coward, she thought of him, hanging up before I could refuse.

  Liar, she thought of herself, you weren’t going to refuse, were you?

  7

  Eliza tried on four outfits before settling on a lavender sweater, black jeans, and black boots.

  “Put on makeup,” Hildy urged.

  Eliza turned from the mirror. “Do you know how insulting that is?” she asked good-naturedly. “You’re telling me I’m ugly without it.”

  “No one would ever call my Lizzy ugly. I just think you could use some color.”

  “I’m sure I’ll be blushing enough on my own. I have no idea what to say to this man for a whole evening.”

  Hildy chuckled. “I like seeing you like this. I missed out on all those mother-daughter things like proms.”

  “What, you mean Jamey didn’t try on everything in his closet before a date?”

  “I think he picked whatever didn’t smell too bad. I refused to do his laundry after he was fifteen, so he usually didn’t have many clothes to choose from.”

  “Well, by the time he got to me, I can assure you he was fully informed about the washer. So good job on your part.”

  “Thank you. Now, what’re you going to do about your hair?” Hildy ran her fingers through Eliza’s ponytail. “you’re not going to wear it like that.”

  Eliza gave her best imitation of an annoyed teenager. “Mother...”

  Hildy smiled. “I’m just saying—”

  “I’m going to feel weird enough on this date without having to wear my hair some different way. Let me take it one step at a time, all right?”

  “Can you at least put it over one shoulder?”

  “No. It stays as it is.”

  Hildy sighed. “Will you wear a necklace if I pick one out?”

  “Maybe.”

  Eliza surveyed her work. She compromised on the makeup issue by adding a smear of cola-flavored lip gloss. It gave her lips a light brown tint.

  “Here.” Hildy handed her a simple gold chain. “That’s not too much, is it?”

  “No, but I don’t usually wear jewelry. I think I’ll go without.”

  “Speaking of which...” Hildy pointed to Eliza’s left hand. “Believe me, honey, I appreciate how much you loved my son, but the fact is he’s gone. If you keep wearing your wedding ring...”

  Eliza closed her other hand around it protectively. “The ring stays. That’s non-negotiable.”

  “For how long?” Hildy asked softly.

  “I don’t know. I don’t want to talk about it right now.” Eliza glanced at her watch. “Is it normal to be on time? I hope not.”

  “In my day a boy had to be prompt or the girl’s parents would think he was a heel. I don’t know how they do it anymore. Now he can probably show up a month later and a girl will still go out with him.”

  “It’s shocking the lack of manners,” Eliza teased, knowing how seriously Hildy took the subject.

  “It really is.”

  At 7:06 by the living room clock, Ted Walsh rang the doorbell.

  Hildy hugged her daughter-in-law. “Have a good time, honey—I mean it.”

  Eliza forced a smile. “I’ll try.”

  Hildy pointed at her. “No, do.” She waited at the top of the stairs while Eliza opened the front door.

  In his black knit shirt, charcoal wool slacks, and a brown suede jacket, Ted looked so handsome and dapper and...masculine. He had gotten a haircut since she last saw him—short on the sides, still thick on top. He wore his wire-frame glasses again, although Eliza realized he hadn’t worn them at the opening. She wore her glasses, too—one step at a time.

  Eliza felt her body tremble with nerves. She squeaked out a hi.

  Luckily, Hildy diverted his attention. “Hi, Teddy,” she called from up above.

  “Hello, Mrs. Shepherd. I promise to have her back by midnight.”

  “Way before midnight, if you don’t mind,” Eliza said.

  “We’ll see—I might run out of gas.”

  “Have a good time,” Hildy called.

  “Okay, thanks.”

  “We will,” Ted promised.

  Eliza waited until she had closed the door behind them before telling Ted, “I was serious, what I said before. You have to understand this is a scary thing for me. I have to be able to trust you.”

  Ted held up his right hand. “I promise. Nothing funny. But you have to promise me something, too.”

  “What?”

  “That you’ll let yourself have a good time tonight if that’s how it goes. I don’t want you spending the whole night feeling guilty or nervous or whatever this is.”

  “I can’t help being nervous. I barely know you.”

  “That’s how this works,” Ted answered. “Look, if it makes you feel any better, I’ve been a little nervous around you, too. I think maybe that’s why I drank about five times what I should have the other night.”

  “Somehow I think you had bigger issues on your mind.”

  “A few,” he said, “but you were definitely one of them.”

  The news didn’t relax her in the least. “Okay, let’s say this,” she said. “I intend to have a good time tonight. How’s that?”

  “Good enough.”

  Ted offered her his arm. The sleeve of his jacket felt warm and soft against her hand. Eliza willed herself to relax. Nothing’s going to happen.

  “By the way,” Ted said, “you’re not one of those women who’s afraid to eat on a date, are you?”

  “Not that I recall,” she said with a slight smile.

  “Good, because I won’t stand for it,” he said. “Not where I’m taking you. I expect you to eat at least as much as I do.” Ted opened the passenger door of his SUV and Eliza slid onto the leather seat.

  “I don’t know if I can compete,” she said once he joined her. “Hildy tells me you’re a big eater.”

  Ted patted his stomach. “I have to work out about fourteen hours a day just to keep it all off.”

  “Impressive.”

  “Yeah, the ladies tell me I’m a fairly fine specimen.”

  “How nice for you,” Eliza answered, finally finding the rhythm of his sarcasm.

  “There’s a website, if you want to add your testimonial at the end of the night.”

  “So, you’re kind of a jerk, aren’t you?”

  He flashed her a smile. “See? We’re getting to know each other already.”

  * * *

  Zeiger’s was half an hour away on the freeway. Tucked behind a few industrial-looking warehouses, the restaurant looked quaint and unassuming from the front.

  “German food?”

  “Yeah, I hope that’s okay,” Ted said.

  “Sounds great.”

  Ted escorted her inside. The young woman acting as hostess broke into a sm
ile. “Teddy!” She emerged from behind her podium to give him a hug.

  “This is Eliza. Eliza, Denise.”

  “Hi. Hold on,” she told Ted. “I’ll go get him.”

  A minute later a short, stout man emerged from the kitchen and surrounded Ted in a bone-cracking hug.

  “This is Eliza,” Ted gasped. “Eliza, my uncle Herbert.”

  Eliza smiled. “Well, that’s a surprise. Nice to meet you.”

  Uncle Herbert clasped Eliza’s hand in his own meaty one. His German accent was unmistakable. “The surprise is mine. Usually I’m not good enough for Teddy’s girlfriends.”

  “Oh, I’m not—”

  “She’s not—we’re just friends, Uncle Herbert. You shouldn’t say things like that.”

  “Why not?” he said.

  “Because it embarrasses people.”

  “Ach, you’re not embarrassed, are you, Miss?”

  “Yes,” Eliza answered.

  Uncle Herbert frowned. “Teddy, not you.”

  “Horrified. Can we sit down now?” Ted caught Eliza’s eye and winked.

  “You like German food?” Uncle Herbert asked as he led them to a booth in the back.

  “I’m not sure I’ve really had any.”

  “Not sure? You would be sure. Here, sit here. Is Teddy treating you nice?”

  “So far.”

  “If he says anything wrong, you tell me. I’ll call you a taxi.”

  Eliza smiled. “Thanks. Good to know.”

  “This is why I don’t bring people here,” Ted said. “He’s crazy.”

  Uncle Herbert pushed Ted aside and crammed his bulk onto the red leather seat beside him. He interlaced his fingers on top of the table and fixed his eyes on Eliza. “How do you know Teddy?”

  “Uncle—”

  Uncle Herbert held up his hand. “If she doesn’t want to answer she won’t, correct?”

  “Correct,” Eliza said. “I met him last week when my mother-in-law brought some food for him to sample.”

  “Your mother-in-law? Are you married?”

  “Uncle Herb—”

  “Was,” Eliza said. “He died.”

  Uncle Herbert seemed strangely affected by the news. He reached across the table as if to clasp Eliza’s hand, but at the last moment withdrew and settled both hands into his lap. “My wife—Freida—she died, too.”

  Eliza had always hated the response “I’m sorry” when she told people about Jamey. Sorry for what? It wasn’t as if any them had pushed him off that cliff. But those words were so automatic, she almost said them to Uncle Herbert. She stopped herself in time, and said instead, “I see.”

  “When did your husband—”

  “Uncle Herbert,” Ted interrupted, “do you mind? I brought Eliza here to have a good time—with me.” He nudged the old man in the ribs. “If you want to talk to her, you ask her out next time.”

  Eliza smiled apologetically at Uncle Herbert, but she was grateful Ted had interfered. The last thing she wanted to do on her first time out with a man in two years was to spend the evening talking about Jamey.

  And yet, between bites of her enormous open-faced Reuben sandwich with steaming red cabbage and melted Swiss cheese on top, and between sips of dark beer out of a stein, Eliza found herself questioning Ted about her late husband:

  “How old was he when you knew him?”

  “What did he like to do?”

  “Who were his friends?”

  Ted tolerated the inquisition fairly well, Eliza thought, and even seemed to encourage it at first. “Let’s get it out on the table,” he had said in the beginning, “since Uncle Herbert brought it up.”

  “I’d rather not.”

  “Come on, Eliza, we might as well.”

  But after an hour of reminiscing, Ted finally called an end to it. “Well, as much as I’ve enjoyed talking about Jamey all night—”

  “Oh Ted, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean...I guess I got a little carried away.”

  “It’s okay. My turn to pick a topic. Want another beer?”

  Eliza peered into her stein. “I’m only half way.” She noticed Ted had finished his, but not ordered another.

  “You ate quite a lot,” Ted said.

  Eliza cocked her head. “That’s good, right?”

  “It’s excellent. We’ll have you porky in no time.” Ted relaxed back against the booth. He gazed at Eliza and smiled. “I like the way you look tonight.”

  Eliza adjusted her glasses and averted her eyes. Talking about Jamey had been easier.

  “So,” she said, clearing her throat, “tell me about your family. Who is Uncle Herbert related to?”

  “He’s my mother’s older brother. They came over together with their parents.”

  “Does your mother have an accent?”

  “It’s gotten less over the years, but when I was growing up it was like living in Berlin.”

  “And you have a sister? How old is she?”

  Ted consulted the ceiling. “Let’s see...probably thirty-four now. David’s thirty-five, I’m thirty-two—”

  “So a year older than Jamey.”

  “Yep.”

  “Ever married?” Eliza asked.

  “Once. She was a two-headed dragon disguised as a princess.”

  “The usual story.”

  “But absolutely true in my case,” Ted said. “The Discovery Channel came out and took pictures.”

  “How long were you married?”

  “Four tortuous years. Let’s go back to talking about Jamey.”

  “Your sister’s married?”

  “Very. With two boys, and don’t ask me how old they are.”

  “Babies, or older?” Eliza asked.

  “Oh, definitely walking and talking—one of them might even go to high school. I don’t really keep track of that.”

  “Don’t you get along?”

  “With my sister? Sure. And her husband and the nephews—all one big happy family.”

  “Are you being sarcastic?”

  Ted laughed. “No. I really do love my family—all of them. Even David.”

  “So you two are partners?”

  “It’s actually a family business. My parents and David and Sue and I all own shares. My dad died a few years ago, and now David and I run it.”

  “Sue never wanted to?”

  “Nah, she’s too smart. She got an engineering degree, worked at that for a few years, then took off for a while after the kids were born. Now she teaches high school math.”

  “Never one of my best subjects,” Eliza confessed.

  “Not mine, either.”

  “So what were you?” she asked. “In school, I mean.”

  “Prom king—can’t you tell?”

  “Of course. I always hated guys like you.”

  “Why?” Ted asked. “The world needs bubbled-headed beauties as much as it needs brains.”

  “Somehow I doubt you’re a bubble head.”

  “No, you need to examine our family tree. David is the brain, Suzy is the über-brain, Teddy is the screw-up.”

  “How have you screwed up?”

  “Oh, let’s see...got a girl pregnant in high school, wrecked my first three cars, partied my way out of one college and had to start all over again—”

  “Wow.”

  “Oh, it gets better,” he said. “Married the first girl I thought I actually loved, let her clean me out in the divorce, had to start all over by going into the family business…”

  “So you weren’t going to go into it to begin with?”

  “No,” Ted scoffed. “That’s David’s world. He worked for my dad from the time he was twelve. He’s always had that store in his veins. It probably kills him to have to share it with me.” Ted chuckled and shook his head.

  “You two don’t get along?” Eliza asked.

  “No, we do, it’s just...we’re pretty different.”

  “I’ve noticed.”

  “I like David,” Ted said, “but he’s...different.” />
  “Different how?”

  “Now I feel like we’re back to talking about Jamey,” Ted said. “So far I can’t say I’ve done much to woo you.”

  “This wasn’t a wooing date.”

  “How do you know?” Ted asked. “Maybe that was my whole plan.”

  “Then it was destined to fail. I am unwooable.”

  Ted leaned forward, that look of mischief in his eyes again. “A challenge.”

  “No,” Eliza said, flustered. “Just being honest.”

  “You think there’s nothing I can do to make you like me?”

  “I do like you,” she said, “but not in that way.”

  Ted’s mouth curved into that half-smile. “Oh, Miss Eliza, what way is that?”

  “Romantically.”

  “I’m happy to hear you say it out loud. That’s always the first step.”

  “You got a girl pregnant?”

  Ted slouched back into his seat. “You’re going to bring that up again? Yeah. I was a total turd.”

  “What happened?”

  “Her parents talked her into an abortion. Which was a relief. I don’t know what I would have done.”

  “How old were you?” Eliza said.

  “Fifteen.”

  “What happened to her?”

  “She hated me,” he said. “We had to see each other at school for three more years, then finally she went away to college. I was such a jerk.”

  “And when did you get married?”

  “When I was twenty-three. Listen, I’m convinced it’s this booth. We can’t have any pleasant conversation as long as we keep sitting here. Let’s go someplace else.”

  “You’re leaving?” their host asked as they headed toward the door.

  “Yes, Uncle Herb.”

  “It was delicious,” Eliza said.

  “But you should stay!”

  “Eliza needs some ice cream,” Ted told him.

  “I do?” she asked.

  “You do.” Ted lifted her hand and threaded it through his arm. “All part of my plan to fatten you up.”

  As they walked to the car, Eliza checked her watch. “Oh my gosh, it’s already eleven o’clock.”

  “Good. We have another hour before Hildy calls the cops on me.”

  “No, really,” Eliza said, “I have to get home. It’s late. I’m not used to hours like this.”

  Ted opened the passenger door, but before Eliza could get in, he lazily leaned against it.