Mail Order Christine

by Patricia Pacjac Carroll

  Everett turned his back on her and walked to the window.

  Christine didn’t want to leave him. He looked so lost standing there by himself. She set Seth down and handed the baby the brooch, and then she went to Everett. “I wanted to tell you. Then you went on and on how you wouldn’t have children. I didn’t know what to do. I can’t leave Seth, but I don’t want to leave you.”

  He turned to face her. “You’re free to go.”

  “But our marriage. Our honeymoon. The feelings were so real. I love you, Everett McNeal, and I know deep in that hard heart of yours, you love me.” Tears forced their way out, and she was crying now.

  He stared at her, feeling lost and beaten.

  She cried. “Do you want me to leave?”

  “No. But I don’t trust myself. I saw that man, Marvin. And I see myself in his angry eyes. The hatred bound up by generations. Like my father and his father—”

  She put a finger to his lips to stop his words. “You are not your father. Everett, you’re a good, gentle man. I know you.” She reached for his hand, but he pulled away like a skittish colt. “Together, we can work it out. You’ll see.”

  “I thought so. Then I saw Marvin and your baby. I can’t take a chance on hurting you.”

  “So, you’re going to turn me out in the street? Marvin doesn’t care about us. He only wants the deed to the farm. Marvin is a hateful man, and I’m afraid of him.”

  That must have struck a chord in Everett because he suddenly looked at her. “You can stay here. I’ll live in the barn.”

  Christine’s shoulders sagged. “Everett, I love you.”

  He didn’t say a word, just walked outside.

  She went to the porch. In the distance, she saw a cloud of dust. Someone was coming. She prayed it wouldn’t be Marvin. Feared it would be. And then saw Everett put on his holster and gun.

  Christine ran to him.

  Marvin rode into the yard. “Christine. What a surprise. It took me a while to track you down. I never dreamed you’d come out this far. Are you ready to go back with me?”

  “I told Mr. Franks not to tell you where I was going.”

  “The banker didn’t want to tell me. But he did.”

  Everett walked in between them. “The lady is my wife. I’m telling you now to leave.”

  Marvin glared at him. “I’ll go for now. But I won’t be far from here. I need the boy, and I’ll take the mother.”

  Christine shook her head. “No. It wasn’t your blood and sweat that made that farm. I know Doug wouldn’t want you to have it.”

  “Our father gave the land to my brother. That land should be mine.”

  “You never helped us. You’re a mean drunken shell of a man. Get out of here and don’t come back.”

  Marvin sneered at her and pointed to Everett. “You think he wants to raise another man’s son? At least give me the kid, and I’ll raise him. We can work the farm together.”

  She shook her head. “You wouldn’t know how to work on the farm. You never worked before.”

  Marvin had his hand on his pistol.

  Dusty came from the barn, his gun aimed. “Better leave, Mister.”

  Marvin shook his head. “This isn’t over. Not yet.” He turned, nodded at Dusty before going to his horse and riding away.

  Everett looked at her. “You better stay here where I can protect you. And the boy.”

  “And then what?”

  “We’ll see.” Everett gazed at her. No promises in the tone of his voice or the look in his eyes. Just a reprieve.

  Christine saw that there would be no more discussion. She left Everett and went back inside to take care of Seth. She hugged her child and wondered what would become of them. And then there was Everett. She did love him. Why couldn’t he see that Seth was a part of her and love him, too?

  ***

  Everett watched her go inside the house, saw her pick up the boy, and walk to the bedroom. What was he going to do? He couldn’t turn her out. He couldn’t trust himself with the child.

  And Marvin, he’d be back until he got the boy or Christine.

  Everett tried to talk himself out of his feelings for Christine. Tried to forget about how it felt to have the little boy in his arms. The kid holding onto him wasn’t afraid of him at all.

  Dusty came up behind him. “Everett, we’ve been friends a long time. I’ve never crossed you, but you’re a fool if you let her leave.”

  “She’s got a baby, Dusty. She held that from me.”

  “I warned her about your conditions for marriage. That’s why she dropped the kid off at my house. I knew Margaret wouldn’t mind, and one more child wouldn’t make a difference for us. But now, I think you need to make a decision.”

  Everett turned away from him. “I don’t know if I can handle my own kids much less another man’s baby.”

  Dusty shook his head. “A baby isn’t hard to love. Seth is a blank slate. He doesn’t know you’re not his father.” Dusty shook his head. “The baby was looking at you as if you were his father.”

  Everett tried to shrug off Dusty’s words, but he’d felt it. The second he held that baby, he felt a kinship with him. Why couldn’t he tell that to Christine? Stubborn. Hard-hearted, isn’t that what she’d called him? And what was he going to do about Marvin?

  “I’ll think about it, Dusty.”

  “Don’t take your time, she’ll leave you, and you’ll never get her back. She’s your chance at happiness, Everett. I know it. Margaret knows it, and even Christine knows it. Thing is, are you man enough to admit it?”

  Everett whirled and glared at Dusty. But there was no fight in the man only truth. Dusty shook his head and walked off to the barn. Not even turning back when Everett yelled at him.

  Everett went to the corral to work with the mare. He roped the colt and took him to the barn so he could saddle the black horse. But she sensed his unease and shied away from him. Seeing the day’s work would be useless, he turned her out in the corral with her colt.

  The two of them were happy to see one another. Just like Christine and Seth. There was no way he could have Christine without the boy.

  The boy, Seth, he’d settled down right away as if it was usual and right that Everett should hold him. The boy didn’t seem like anything bothered him. That was good. The kid would need that quality.

  As for Everett, he was still rattled. Why hadn’t Christine told him about her son? Why did Christine think she needed to hang onto the farm anyway? All the way in Kansas, had she been planning to go back all along?

  He’d look after her and the baby. He stared at the young colt in the corral. Maybe he could give it a try. The first sign of trouble he’d send Seth off to a school. He had the money.

  Dusty was right. If he let Christine walk out of his life, he’d never know happiness. Everett gazed out over the land, and emptiness settled in his heart. Who would it be for? Someone would take it once he died.

  Suddenly, he felt the weight of loneliness fall on him. He didn’t want Christine to leave. She could keep her son. He stared at the colt and saw the young horse watching him as if he was in on the scheme. Yes, he’d let Christine keep the boy, and he’d try to be a father to Seth.

  The decision made, Everett took the mare and saddled her. He was calm now, and the horse worked with him. She was a different horse now that she had the colt with her. Could be Christine would be happier, too. He shook his head and undid the rope from the pole and led the mare around. He talked to her in a soothing voice.

  The horse liked his words and followed him. Trusted him. Then he stopped and put a foot in the stirrup and eased on her back.

  She didn’t buck. Looked at his foot. And stood still. He rubbed her withers and patted her neck. He had a way with horses. Could gentle them without breaking their spirits. As a result, he could sell the horses he broke for a good price.

  Everett eased the mare into a trot. She responded like she wanted to please him. Not afraid. Not resisting or rebelling. Soon, Ch
ristine would have a horse to ride. Everett smiled to himself. Maybe he’d have to find a pony for the boy so he could ride with them. For now, the child would ride with Everett.

  He dismounted and rubbed the mare down. She nuzzled him, letting him know that she was happy. Then he turned her loose, and she ran to the colt still tied up. Everett grinned. “All right. I get the picture.” He looked up to the sky. “So, You want Seth to stay. Then he’ll stay. You’re going to have to help me take care of him, Lord.”

  After the horses were fed and watered, he went into the house. Christine was holding the baby and singing him to sleep. She saw him come in and held a finger to her lips. Soon, she took the sleeping child into the bedroom and put him to bed.

  She came out of the room and shut the door. “I can’t leave my son.”

  Everett stepped close to her and pulled her even closer. “I know. He can stay. You can stay.”

  Tears flowed down her face. “You’re sure?”

  He nodded. “I had a lesson out there with the horses. The Lord let me know He wanted it this way. We can give it a try.”

  Chapter 12

  Christine did her best to make Everett happy. She made sure to make his favorite meals and sat on the porch at night to watch the sunset. It had been a week, and the tension in the house was thick enough that it made her breath catch whenever Seth made a noise.

  Everett never complained, but she’d see him watching her son. Thinking. Sadness on his face and in his eyes.

  She tried to make a place in the big room to corral Seth at night and let him sleep in the other room so she and Everett would have the bedroom. Except Everett went to the barn at night. Never complaining, he’d just rise from the chair on the porch and tell her he was tired.

  This night, storms were coming. They’d watched the lightning in the distance. Seth had been restless, and she brought him to the porch with her. A few times, she thought Everett smiled at the toddler. But then maybe she was just hoping.

  Seth seemed to be drawn to Everett, and whenever she set him down, he’d crawl and go to Everett. A couple of times, Everett picked him up and held him for a short time. But then he’d hand him back to her.

  “Stay in the house with us tonight.” She glanced at Everett, hoping he’d stay.

  “The horses might be skittish. I better stay in the barn.” He glanced at her with a look she couldn’t decipher.

  Seth squirmed in her arms and pointed to the floor. She set him down and rubbed her arms. “I’m a little skittish from the storms, too.”

  He glanced at the clouds. “The house is strong.”

  “I miss you, Everett. Even when you’re with me, you’re far away. Did I win your permission to stay only to lose you?”

  Everett stood and grabbed Seth before he could fall down the stairs. “I don’t trust myself.”

  Seth put his arms around Everett’s neck and rested his head on his shoulder.

  “I trust you, Everett.” She pointed to Seth. “He certainly trusts you.”

  Everett patted the baby’s back. “I admit, I like the idea of us as a family.” He started to pull the baby away to hand to her, but Seth clung to his neck until Everett gave up.

  Christine went to him. “You’re a good man, Everett. Everyone knows it but you.”

  He grinned at her and started to say something when a gust of wind blew cold air and sand. He shielded the boy and turned to the door. “We better get inside.”

  She walked in and took the baby as Everett handed him to her.

  Standing by the door, he looked at her with that mysterious look. Almost as if he were caught between two worlds, and he was deciding which one he could live in. “I better check on the horses.”

  She nodded. Disappointed, but with the hope he might come back before the storm.

  Everett opened the door. “If the wind gets to blowing, go in the pantry and down to the cellar. If it gets bad, I’ll try to get in and be with you.”

  She touched his arm. “Please come back.”

  He looked down and then at her and nodded.

  She watched him leave and prayed he’d be safe. The wind was blowing so hard, and just as he left, the rain started with a loud clap of thunder that made Seth cry.

  Christine went to the bedroom and found the little cloth toy Margaret had made for him and handed it to the baby to take his mind from the storm. It worked until the next loud bang of thunder.

  Darkness flooded the house and outside as hail pelted the roof and broke the windows on the south side of the house. The wind screamed, frightening Christine. She hugged Seth and ran for the pantry, opened the cellar door, and felt in the darkness for the stairs. There weren’t many, and in minutes, she was in the root cellar.

  The air was musty and damp. She’d forgotten to bring a match or candle with her, but by the racket above, she didn’t want to go back up to get the matches. She hung onto Seth and sang to him to quiet his crying.

  Suddenly, a lit match shattered the darkness, and relief flooded her. “Everett. You’re here.”

  He didn’t answer and lit the lantern.

  As the light revealed the man, Christine gasped. “Marvin.”

  A loud crash of thunder shook the house.

  “I was waiting for you, Christine. I’m taking the boy back to Kansas with me. He’s all I need. The judge will give me the farm if I have my brother’s son.” Marvin hung the lantern and grabbed for Seth.

  Christine turned from him.

  He grabbed her hair, pulled her close to him, and took the crying baby from her. “Now be quiet. You don’t want me to have to run out in the storm with the kid, do you?”

  “Everett will be coming back.”

  “Will he? I’ve watched him, and he sleeps in the barn. Could be you want to come back with me? He doesn’t seem interested in you or the kid.”

  She shook her head. “No, he does care.”

  “I don’t think so. It doesn’t matter anyway. I’m taking Seth with me tonight. That storm will pass by in a few minutes. Make up your mind.”

  As Marvin stopped talking, the storm subsided. He held Seth away from her. “Are you coming?”

  “I’m married to Everett. We’ll come after you.”

  “I don’t think so. He doesn’t want your son. He doesn’t want any children, does he? I’ve asked around, and I know about Everett. You want more children. I know you do. Come with me, Christine.”

  She shook her head. “I won’t. I know what you are. I won’t let you have my son.” Christine struck at him.

  Marvin hit her with his fist, knocking her down. Then he kicked her.

  Christine tried to follow him, but all went black.

  Chapter 13

  Everett settled the horses down and watched the storm blow across the land. He was glad he’d built a stout cabin because the wind was strong enough to knock down a lesser house. He watched and prayed that Christine would be all right.

  And Seth.

  Everett had to admit, having them around as his family was growing on him. He’d never meant to tell Christine that she could keep her son. That she could stay. But when he thought about losing her, his heart wouldn’t let it happen.

  Even now, his heart was telling him to go back to her. Run through the rain and hail and make her feel safe. And loved. Somehow, she’d gotten to his heart and broken the walls he’d put up.

  He knelt in the hay and thought back to his day’s growing up and the brutal way his father treated him and his mother. He put a hand over his heart and bowed his head. “That man, my father, I’ve hated him all my life. Feared I’d be like him so that I couldn’t live the life I wanted. Lord, I’ve been thinking a lot ever since I married that woman. Thinking about You. About Christine, and now Seth.”

  Tears began a slow trickle down his cheeks. The small peaceful voice inside his heart encouraged him to let go and reach out. “I don’t know how, but I forgive my father for being so cruel. Help me forgive him. And help me reach out to Christine and be the
man she needs. Help me take care of her son as my own.”

  He stopped and shuddered. He cried. Wept for the boy he’d been and the torment he’d gone through. As the storm passed, his tears dried up. He felt cleansed. Free to love his wife and son. To offer her more children.

  The black mare in the stall behind him nickered.

  Everett stood, took in a deep breath, and dried his eyes. He couldn’t even remember the last time he’d cried. But he felt like a new man.

  He looked at the house and went to find Christine and Seth. He couldn’t wait to see the delight in her eyes at the news that he’d no longer sleep in the barn. Tomorrow, he’d make a crib for the boy and start on the plans for a new room or two.

  Everett walked in the front door and called her name. No answer. Worry settled on him, but he cast it away and figured she was in the cellar. The storm had been a loud and hard one. Poor woman and child, he should have been with them.

  He ran to the pantry, took the lantern, and opened the cellar door. He held up the lamp and saw her in a heap by the cellar door to the outside. “Christine.” He ran to her and picked her up. Her face was bloody, and her lip bruised and bleeding.

  Everett looked around and didn’t see Seth. The doors were heavy, and he doubted Christine could have opened them. Maybe the wind.

  “Everett,” she moaned.

  “Easy, you must have fallen—”

  “Marvin, he took Seth.” She was awake now. Frantic, she grabbed him. “I have to go to my baby. Help me. He took him.”

  “Shh, I’ll find him.” Everett walked her up the steps to the house. “You have a nasty bump on your head. Did Marvin hit you?”

  She nodded. “My baby.”

  He held her to him. “Our baby. I’ll go and bring Seth back.” He held Christine and looked at her. “I’ve changed. Out in the barn during the storm. I want us to be a family.”

  She stared at him, but she was too worried to hear him.