The Triad

by Sarah Ettritch

  “To reassure her that my priority is her relationship with you.”

  “You think that will help?”

  “I don’t know, but I do know that I can’t see you, or her, or both of you, without having a conversation with her about all this. I just can’t.” It would be impossible to sit through another polite lunch with Lesley, to see Mo without feeling guilty, and to carry on stilted conversation with them while an elephant lumbered about the room. Jayne checked the time on her comm unit. “What time does she usually get home?”

  “You’re going to talk to her today?”

  “Why not? I’m here.” And she’d probably chicken out if she allowed herself time to think about it.

  “I’ll go with you,” Mo declared.

  “No, let me talk to her alone.” Maybe she was insane. “I don’t want her to feel as if we’re ganging up on her.” And she wanted Lesley to be honest, to call her every name under the sun, if that would help. Mo’s presence would only deter Lesley from speaking her mind.

  “Jayne, Les doesn’t like to get personal with people she doesn’t know well. And she likes to work things out on her own.”

  “I’m her Chosen, and yours. As much as we all hate it, I’m involved in this. I wish I wasn’t. I wish the two of you had been Chosens to each other and had never met me, but that didn’t happen. I can’t stay silent this time. This is too important.”

  Mo slowly exhaled. She opened her mouth, then threw up her hands in resignation. “Do what you have to do.”

  Jayne had almost hoped Mo would talk her out of it.

  Mo gazed at her. “So you think the best thing to do is to stick to our arrangement?”

  “Yes. Don’t you?”

  Mo hesitated. “For Les, yes.”

  But not for us? Argamon, there was an us. Jayne couldn’t believe it, but she’d worry about that aspect of this mess later. “It’s best for the triad.” But now, when she spent time alone with Mo... Her hands went back into her pockets. She should have brought her sketchbook, but she’d wanted to think on the train, not draw. From now on, she’d be sure to have it. “So what time does she get home?”

  “By six, usually.” Mo’s brow furrowed. “Are you sure about this?”

  “Yes. Don’t warn her.”

  “I won’t. But you better beep me afterward and tell me what happened.”

  “I’ll see how she feels about that. Anyway, it’s already 5:20. I should head over there.”

  “At least eat supper here,” Mo said.

  “No, that’s all right.” She’d probably throw it up; her stomach was already churning. “I want to go speak to her.” Before she lost her nerve. “If I’m there when she comes home, I can talk to her and then leave her to eat her supper in peace.”

  “At least let me fly you home afterward,” Mo said as they walked to the foyer.

  “Let me see how it goes, okay?” She stopped herself from patting Mo’s arm. “Thanks for the offer.”

  Jayne slipped into her cloak, aware of Mo’s eyes on her and grateful that her hands weren’t shaking half as much as her insides were. “All right. I’ll beep you later, no matter what.” Just to let you know I’m still alive. She wanted to groan. “Bye.” She opened the front door and stepped outside.

  “Jayne.”

  Jayne turned.

  Mo leaned through the open doorway. “I’m glad—I mean—”

  “Me too.” But they both also cared about someone else, though Jayne wasn’t about to admit to that. “I’m glad we’re still friends.”

  They held each other’s gaze. So many unsaid words hung in the air. A new kind of awkwardness might now exist between them, but at least Jayne would understand the reason for it. She winced at the concern and apprehension in Mo’s eyes and clasped her hands behind her back. “Don’t worry. Things can only get better.”

  The mocking smile Mo gave her in return said it all. “If you need me, if talking to Les doesn’t go well, you know where I am.”

  Running to Mo because Lesley was upset would be the worst thing Jayne could do. “Worry about Lesley, not me. She needs you right now.” She tore her gaze away and steeled herself. Wish me luck died on her tongue. Too trite.

  As Jayne walked away from the Middletons’, she resisted the urge to look over her shoulder to see if Mo was still there. The moment she was confident that nobody could see her from the house, she sat on the path, not caring if her cloak got dirty. She needed to slow down her racing mind, or her conversation with Lesley was guaranteed to go badly.

  Mo liked her in that way? She never would have suspected in a million years! Under any other circumstances, her elation would have had her believing that she could leap into the air and land on 72. But Lesley and Mo’s relationship was in trouble, both of them were hurting—the triad could fail! All leaping into the air would gain her was a sprained ankle. The triad had to come before any foolish romantic notions. Bolstering it would require hard work, commitment, and honesty. And she was sitting here wasting time.

  Jayne pushed herself to her feet, brushed off her cloak, and quickly overruled the cowardly part of her that wanted to forget the whole idea and go home. She’d promised herself that she would do everything in her power to prevent the triad from failing, so retreating to her apartment and hoping it would all go away wasn’t an option. It was put up or shut up time, and she, for one, was not going down without a fight.

  CONVERGENCE

  Jayne waited near the Thompson estate’s empty holding area, trying not to pace. Maybe she shouldn’t ambush Lesley the moment she stepped off her craft, but the alternatives—hanging around outside an empty house, or sitting in the living room with Adelaide and Alan staring at her—weren’t any better. Mo had said that Lesley was usually home by six; according to Jayne’s comm unit, it was almost that now. She shielded her eyes and scoured the sky. Was that dot growing larger? Yes! Assuming it was Lesley, this was Jayne’s last chance to make a run for it, but she resisted the urge and made sure to stand far away from where the craft would touch down. Despite the apprehension that now gripped her, she didn’t want to be squashed.

  A minute later she watched the aviacraft descend and land. The door slid open. Lesley hopped from the craft, swung a knapsack over her shoulder, and slid the door shut. She walked a few steps, then stopped short. “Jayne! What are you doing here?” Her face tightened. “Is Mo all right?”

  “She’s fine.” Jayne gulped. She was about to find out if talking to Lesley was the smartest or dumbest idea she’d ever had. “I just came from Mo’s, actually.”

  If Lesley was surprised or upset, she didn’t show it. “Why isn’t she with you?”

  “I wanted to talk to you alone.” She could barely hear herself over the pounding in her ears.

  “What do you want to talk about?”

  Jayne wished they were walking, rather than facing each other. “I went to see Mo because I’d noticed that she seemed uncomfortable with me, and that you two seemed uncomfortable with each other,” she said, struggling to keep her voice even. “She told me...what’s behind it all.”

  Lesley’s eyes bored into Jayne. “What did she tell you?”

  Argamon! She’d expected Lesley to react at this point, not force her to say it. No matter how gently she spoke, Jayne would feel as if she was gloating. She considered hedging, but instinct told her to be honest. “She said she has feelings for me. And...I told her I feel the same way about her.”

  Lesley’s expression didn’t change. When she didn’t say anything, Jayne continued. “I pushed her into telling me. She didn’t want to. She told me to leave it alone, but I was worried. About both of you.” Still no reaction. Would Lesley just stand and stare? “I thought I’d better come and talk to you about it.”

  “Why? Are you here to ask my permission to have a relationship with her?”

  “No! I—”

  Lesley suddenly marched off toward the house. After a moment’s hesitation, Jayne hurried after her. “I thought it would
help if we talked,” she said breathlessly.

  “There’s nothing to talk about,” Lesley said without looking at her. “You and Mo are Chosens and you want to be together. There’s nothing I can do.”

  Finally, a chink in her armour. “We’re going to stick to our arrangement,” Jayne said.

  “What arrangement would that be? You and Mo together and me the friend?”

  “No!”

  Lesley stopped and whirled toward Jayne. “Why not? We both know that’s where it will end up.”

  “No, it won’t!” Jayne cried, shocked by Lesley’s anguished eyes. “Mo’s feelings for you haven’t changed.”

  “How would you know?”

  “Because I see the two of you together.” She wouldn’t dare mention that she’d discussed the subject with Mo.

  Lesley’s eyes narrowed. “You said you spoke to Mo because the two of us seemed uncomfortable with each other.”

  “I could see there was something wrong, but I never doubted that you still love each other.”

  Lesley’s chin came up. “I didn’t realize you were keeping track.”

  “I’m not!” They glared at each other. “Lesley, we’re all Chosens. I do have more than a passing interest in the two of you.”

  “You obviously do in Mo.”

  Jayne scrambled for a response that wouldn’t give away her feelings for Lesley, but couldn’t come up with one.

  “If you’re planning to stick to our arrangement, why are you talking to me?” Lesley asked. “Why are you here?”

  “Because I wanted to make sure you knew I’d pressed Mo into telling me about what’s going on. I don’t want more trouble between the two of you, and I don’t want you to think we’re talking about you behind your back.”

  “Mo could have told me,” Lesley retorted. “Did she tell you to talk to me?”

  “No. She tried to talk me out of it, but... Maybe you hate me right now, but I couldn’t see myself having lunch with you, and seeing you and Mo, without talking to you about this.”

  Lesley sighed. “Maybe it will be easier with you knowing. I don’t know.”

  “I want this triad to work.”

  “So do I. But nothing prepared me for this, Jayne. I know you can say the same, but not quite. You don’t have to figure out how to accept that the woman you’ve always loved now cares for someone else.” She raised a finger. “Not only that, walking away isn’t an option. No, you have to honour both of them, respect them, live with them, see them together. Would you know how to do that?”

  Jayne swallowed. “I don’t know.”

  “Neither do I. I was hoping to have time to figure it out.”

  “Maybe we have to figure it out together, the three of us.”

  Lesley shook her head. “It’s not your and Mo’s problem.”

  “Of course it’s our problem! If one of us isn’t happy, how can the other two be? Mo clearly isn’t.”

  “I’m sure she was happy when you told her how you feel about her.”

  “No, she wasn’t. How can she be, when she’s worried about you and your relationship? We’re all—”

  Lesley frowned and looked past Jayne. “Do you want to stay for supper?”

  “What?” A stone crunched behind her. Jayne looked over her shoulder, expecting to see Mo.

  Adelaide strolled up to them, carrying a satchel. “I didn’t know you’d be visiting today,” she said to Jayne.

  Jayne waited for Lesley to step in, but apparently Lesley wasn’t going to help her. “It wasn’t planned. I was on my way to the train station from Mo’s when I thought I’d drop in and say hello. Lesley landed just as I was passing by.”

  “Are you staying for supper?” Lesley asked.

  “No, I just wanted to say hello. I’ll be heading home now.”

  “Don’t be silly!” Adelaide snapped. “How long does it take you to get home? Three hours? You’ll be starving by then. I’m surprised Mo didn’t invite you to stay for supper.”

  “She did. But—I mean—” Argamon, she was a lousy liar!

  “Stay for supper. I’ll beep Mo, tell her to join us too,” Lesley said.

  What? Jayne wanted to gape at her.

  “Well, I’m hungry, so let’s get a move on.” Turning, Adelaide strode down the path.

  “Why?” Jayne murmured to Lesley as she fell into step with her.

  “Mama wouldn’t have accepted no for an answer, so it was supper with me, or supper with me and Mo.”

  “You don’t have to do what you think I want.”

  Lesley lifted a brow. “I’m not. I’m doing what I want.”

  *****

  Mo chewed her thumbnail and wondered for the hundredth time if she should hop on her bike and hightail it over to the Thompsons’. She should have tried harder to talk Jayne out of it, or at least gone with her.

  Jayne feels the same way about me.

  Not now! She should be worried about Les and Jayne, not feeling all sentimental because Jayne cared about her. Would she ever think of Jayne without feeling guilty? Mo sighed. Seeing her would be worse.

  Her comm unit beeped. Finally! She frowned when she saw the name, and wondered if she should hold the comm unit at arm’s length. “Les?”

  “Do you want to come over for supper?” Les said calmly.

  “What?”

  “Supper. Jayne is staying, too.”

  “Uh, sure. I’ll head over now.” They said good-bye. Bewildered, Mo didn’t waste any time in throwing on her cloak and hopping on her bike.

  Jayne must have chickened out at the last minute. Mo agreed that they had to tell Les about their conversation; what she’d objected to was the timing. She would have preferred to tell Les herself before the three of them got together again. Now she and Jayne would have to sit through supper together without Les knowing.

  At the Thompsons’, she found Jayne sitting in the living room by herself. “I don’t blame you for not telling her,” Mo whispered.

  Jayne looked up at her. “I did tell her. Then Adelaide showed up and roped me into supper.”

  Great. “Where is she?”

  “Changing.” Jayne pointed at the ceiling. “Though she’s been changing for fifteen minutes now.”

  “I better go talk to her.”

  Mo climbed the stairs but hesitated outside Les’s bedroom. Normally she’d knock and walk in, but this time she rapped on the door and waited. “It’s Mo.” Silence. Mo opened the door a crack and peeked into the room, then stepped inside and closed the door behind her.

  Les sat at her desk, still in uniform. She swung the chair around to face Mo. “I said I needed time.”

  “I know. She came to me, not the other way around.”

  “You didn’t have to tell her.”

  “What did you expect me to do? She asked me point blank what was going on.” Mo could feel a headache coming on. She hated being caught in the middle, but she couldn’t see any escape. “I tried to put her off, but she’s not stupid. You know how uncomfortable we were at her apartment. She thought I—probably both of us—had soured on her. I couldn’t let her go on thinking that.”

  Les folded her arms. “So you care more about what she needs.”

  Mo slapped her thighs. “No! Argamon, Les, if I defend her or say anything that suggests that I care about her, you take it as a slight against you. It’s not you against her. If that’s the way you’re going to think about it, we won’t be able to talk about her.”

  “How would you think about it?”

  Her irritation fizzled. “I wouldn’t be thinking. I’d probably break everything I own and refuse to speak to either of you.” Was it her imagination, or did Les’s face soften? “Look, I know this is difficult—okay, understatement of the year. It’s flaming impossible! But we’re Chosens. Somehow we’ll find a way to live with all this. I just don’t know how.”

  “That’s why I wanted time. To figure it out.”

  “I don’t think this is something you’ll figure out by t
hinking about it. We’ll have to muddle through.” And hope they somehow made it to the other side in one piece? But what else could they do? There was no escape, for any of them.

  Les stood and rolled the chair under her desk. “I’d better get changed before Mama comes looking for me.”

  “Les—”

  “You should go and keep Jayne company.” She met Mo’s eyes. “We don’t have time to talk about it now.”

  Mo wanted to apologize, but for what? She hadn’t forced the issue. She’d tried to dissuade Jayne from talking to Les, and she hadn’t intentionally developed feelings for Jayne. But she couldn’t help feeling guilty because she was the one who’d fallen for Jayne first. She’d blinked; she’d betrayed their relationship. She was the weak one, but she wasn’t bearing the brunt of this mess. Les would have to go downstairs and sit through a civil meal with her Chosens and her parents. How would she feel, with Mo on her right and Jayne on her left? How could she bear it?

  “Lesley!” Adelaide yelled up the stairs.

  “I’ll tell her you’ll be down in a few minutes.” Mo reluctantly turned to leave. She wanted to stay here for Les; she wanted to go downstairs for Jayne. Would it always be this way? Would she ever think of one Chosen without thinking of the other? In a way, she hoped not.

  *****

  Lesley sank into one of Counsellor Berry’s comfortable chairs and crossed her legs. “Thank you for agreeing to see me at such short notice.”

  Berry smiled. “No problem.”

  Mo and Jayne were disrupting Lesley’s concentration during class and keeping her awake at night. The need to talk—to have someone tell her she wasn’t weak in the Way and provide her with a nav map to follow—had driven Lesley here, but it was difficult to admit that she was struggling. She was an Interior officer on her way to becoming a commander. “I hope it didn’t inconvenience anyone else.”

  “Don’t worry about that.” When Lesley remained silent, Berry leaned forward in her chair. “What’s bothering you?”

  “It’s Mo and Jayne.”