The Ties That Bind

by Lexi Landsman

  Matthew took out six white milk bottles, eating one and putting five in the container. ‘Those are your white blood cells. They fight infection.’

  David ripped open a bag of Skittles. ‘Now put some of those into the container.’

  Matthew poured a handful into the container so that it was now filled to the top. ‘Those are your platelets. Your zipper cells. If you get a cut, the platelets in your body help to zip them up so you stop bleeding.’

  David handed Matthew a bottle of water. ‘Pour a drop of water into the container. And then close the lid and shake the container.’

  ‘You’re not going to make me eat it, are you?’ Matthew said, scrunching up his nose.

  ‘No, silly.’ David forced a smile. Matthew poured some water in and a few drops fell onto the tray. He tightened the lid and shook it until the water went a reddish pink colour. ‘See that? That’s what healthy blood is made of when the blood factory is working properly. But in your body, you have sick blood, so the blood factory stops working the way it should. It fills up with leukaemia cells called blasts.’

  David took the second empty container. ‘Okay, in this one, you can only put in one red jelly bean, that’s one red blood cell.’ Matthew put one in. ‘And there’s only room for one white cell.’ Matthew placed a milk bottle in. ‘And three Skittles, platelets. Now add the water, close the lid and shake it up.’

  Courtney looked at David with a soft expression, indicating her approval of his explanation.

  Matthew shook the container and brought it close to his eyes. ‘It’s a different colour. The other one was red.’

  ‘That’s right,’ David said, holding up the first container. ‘The doctors need to make your blood factory work again so it goes back to this colour. That means they have to clean out your blood to get rid of the leukaemia cells to make it healthy again.’

  David saw his son’s body tense. ‘What’s going to happen to me?’

  It was a loaded question and again David didn’t know how to answer. He couldn’t tell his son that a central line would be inserted under the skin of his chest, that the chemotherapy would make him so sick he would vomit for hours, that he would be constantly exhausted, that he would have painful lumbar punctures and repeated biopsies, that he would eventually lose his hair, that his face would swell from the treatment, that he would soon feel like only a shadow of himself.

  ‘You’re going to go to a special ward of the hospital, where you will be with kids around your age who have similar diseases.’

  Matthew looked startled. ‘Will you stay with me? I don’t want to be there on my own.’ Fear clogged his voice.

  ‘We’ll be with you every day and at night when you don’t feel well. There’s a games room where you can play with the other kids. You’ll be there for a few weeks while they give you medicine to make you better. It will make you feel a bit sick, but they have other medicines to take the nausea away. And there will always be lots of doctors and nurses around.’

  Matthew looked up at David now. A single tear had rolled down his cheek and he quickly wiped it away with his sleeve. He was doing his best to look brave, even though it was clear he was terrified.

  ‘Will I get better?’ he said so softly, it was as if he didn’t want to ask the question at all.

  Courtney looked at David and then back at Matthew. ‘They will give you medicine that will make you better,’ he said, ‘but it will make you feel sick before it does.’

  ‘You will get better,’ Courtney said sternly, speaking at last, rescuing David as his voice began to waver. ‘We won’t let anything happen to you. And that’s a promise.’

  26

  IT HAD been another long day at the relief centre. Jade had left Pamela to organise the day’s roster of volunteer crews so she could go out with one of the teams to build fences. By late afternoon, dirt was caked to her body like a second skin. Her palms were callused and her knees were scratched from the rough earth.

  Adam had told her that his shift would finish at 6 pm, so she quickly washed up and walked to his friend’s cottage to surprise him instead of making her way home. She could see the green house through the thicket of trees. She paused on the wooden deck to catch her breath before knocking on the front door.

  ‘Jade,’ Adam said from behind the flyscreen. When their eyes met, it sent tingles down her body and made her heart pulse in her throat. He stepped out and smiled, kissing her lips softly and slowly as if they were the only two people in the world. ‘You look lost,’ he joked, when they pulled apart.

  I’m exactly where I want to be. ‘I’m not lost,’ she said with a smile. ‘But there is a place I want to take you that makes me feel like I am. Will you walk there with me?’

  Adam looked perplexed. ‘Sure. Let me just change.’

  Jade stood outside the front door and waited as he walked inside. When he turned to see she hadn’t followed, he laughed. ‘You can come in, you know. I promise I don’t bite.’

  The cottage was quaint and charming, with a country feel. She stood in the lounge room and looked at the pictures of Riley’s family on the wall until she spied Adam through an opening to his bedroom door as he lifted his shirt off. She took in the definition in his torso, his wide shoulders and narrow waist, and a trail of hair down his abdomen. He had the body of someone who either exercised every day or was muscular from their line of work. She felt like a voyeur and quickly turned away, surprised by the urge she felt to walk into his room and run her hand down his chest.

  He came out in jeans and T-shirt. ‘You might want to put some board shorts on,’ she said with a grin.

  He arched his eyebrows in confusion. ‘Okay,’ he answered slowly.

  ‘And bring a towel. Or two.’

  He rummaged through the laundry cupboard and then came to her, kissing her again, this time on the cheek. When they walked out the front door, he reached for her hand. The touch of his skin felt like a spark of electricity, a current from his fingers right through her whole body.

  ‘Where are we going?’ Adam asked.

  ‘Why do you need to know?’

  ‘I barely know you,’ he joked, as they headed deeper into the bush. ‘I don’t want you to take advantage of me.’

  She punched his arm playfully. They passed through a forest of tall mountain ash trees and under ferns that hung over the walking trail, and followed it down the valley to where the fires had turned the trees into charcoal stumps.

  When they reached the creek, Jade felt her breath getting heavier, anxiety swirling through her at the site of its pearly waters. ‘Do you know where you are?’

  ‘Is this where …’

  Jade released his hand and finished his sentence. ‘Where you found me. Where I would have died if it weren’t for you. This creek used to be my favourite place in Somerset. I’ve been swimming here since I was three but I haven’t been able to come here since the fires.’

  Her memories of that night were still so raw, so matted to her being. When she looked at the creek’s opaque surface, instead of the calm sensation it used to usher, she felt a sense of blind terror. She was overcome with snapshots of that night: the red sky, the unbearable heat, the toxic air, the distant screams, the branch above her that shielded her from the raining embers. Jade looked to the bank of the creek and almost heard her mother’s voice carry in the wind. Fear is poison.

  ‘I don’t want to be controlled by my fears. And I don’t want my first memory of you and me here to be one that fills me with dread. So, will you swim with me so I can have a new memory of us here?’

  He looked at her intensely. ‘Of course.’ He moved a strand of hair from her forehead and ran his hand down the side of her face.

  ‘Close your eyes,’ she said. When he did, Jade lifted her T-shirt over her head. She looked around at the empty banks before she took off her underwear. She stood at the water’s edge stark naked and felt the breeze sweep around her, making the fine hair on her arms stand up and her nipples erect. She curled he
r toes and dug them into the mud. Against the throb of fear that flushed her cheeks and made her breath short and shallow, she stepped slowly into the water, the fading light falling on her breasts. The water’s icy temperature ran through her until her fingers and toes were so numb that she couldn’t feel the cold. Until the sensation of feeling felt like nothing at all. She walked in deeper, flattening her feet over the mossy stones. When she was waist deep, she ducked her head under and felt the water wrap around her.

  ‘Can I open my eyes yet?’

  ‘Yes.’ She stayed submerged from her hips down and watched Adam take in her nakedness. He shifted from foot to foot, suddenly nervous.

  ‘Jade, you’ll freeze,’ he said as if he couldn’t think of anything else to say.

  ‘My mother always said water was my element. The cold doesn’t bother me.’

  He dipped his feet in and winced away from the frigid water.

  ‘Here I was thinking I was the one who had to conquer my fears,’ she teased, ‘and you’re the one who looks terrified.’

  ‘Not all of us are immune to the cold,’ he said. ‘Seriously, it’s icy.’

  ‘Come on,’ she said encouragingly. ‘Once you go under, you won’t feel it.’

  ‘I’m used to the heat, not the cold,’ he teased. He took his top off and she tried not to stare at his well-defined abs. She swam towards him and let the water trickle off her body as it became shallower. She stood, naked, in front of him. He seemed surprised by her confidence and he took her body in, running his hands over her stomach and her breasts, finally cupping his hands on her face. His eyes were metallic, silver and blue – the colour of the shifting water. She kissed his lips, slowly, tenderly. He pulled her close, holding his arms around her, and with sudden tug she pulled him into the water with a splash. ‘I thought you needed a bit of encouragement. It’s best not to get in slowly,’ she laughed when he came up for air with a gasp.

  He quickly recovered from the cold, flicking his hair back. ‘You are full of surprises,’ he said as he swam towards her and put his hands around her bare back until their skin was touching. He kissed her passionately, and Jade felt like she did when she was underwater, as if the world were suddenly muted, and the space around her fluid and weightless.

  Soon, they were stumbling out of the creek and making their way to the towels. Jade’s hands were moving as if they had a will of their own. She felt something rise within her that she didn’t recognise. Felt it consume her. She traced her hands over his now naked body. He kissed her stomach and ran his hand around her bellybutton. She felt his arms and then the curves of his chest, the shape of his muscles, the line of hair down his chest. He rolled over so she was now lying on the towel and she could feel the fibres rub against her back as he moved, slowly, delicately, passionately.

  Afterwards, as they lay side by side on their backs, waiting for the first stars to appear through the bare tree canopies, Jade thought of the glow of his eyes the night of the fires, silver beacons amid the blazing inferno. It occurred to Jade how strange it was that on the night she lost everything, he had found her.

  27

  TWO weeks after the fires, the pace finally started to slow down at the pub now that all their systems were working efficiently. The constant shoulder-tapping and endless questions directed at Jade and Pamela were beginning to ease off.

  In the pub’s kitchen, where they were still preparing meals for the firefighters and volunteers, Jade quietly asked her grandmother if she could have two of the feta-and-spinach pies.

  Helena looked at her curiously. ‘Are you hungry, my girl?’

  ‘One’s for me and one’s for Pamela. For dinner,’ she added quickly, knowing that Helena had just seen them eating sandwiches together.

  ‘I’ll make fresh ones. Big ones. And what about dolmathakia for starters?’ She winked. ‘Don’t ever keep secrets from your YiaYia,’ she teased. ‘I know everything.’

  Jade blushed. ‘Did Pamela say something?’

  Helena gave her a sidelong glance. ‘No, your face did. You think I don’t know when my granddaughter is in love?’

  Jade’s cheeks felt like they were the colour of the beetroot on the counter. The word ‘love’ felt delicate, fragile. She pictured it like a shell you could put to your ear and hear a whole world behind – but if you dropped it, it would shatter into a million irretrievable pieces. Jade had spent every free moment with Adam since their swim at the creek. Whenever his departure in two days popped into her mind, she quickly pushed it aside.

  ‘I’ll make some baklava for dessert too. Now, get out of my kitchen,’ her grandmother said playfully. ‘I have lots of cooking to do.’

  ‘Don’t be silly, YiaYia. The pies will be more than enough. You don’t need to make dolmathakia and baklava. You wouldn’t even have the ingredients.’

  ‘I can always find what I need to cook. Greek women know how to improvise.’ She winked.

  Jade walked out of the kitchen with a grin. She couldn’t hide a thing from the old woman.

  ‘What are you smiling about?’ said Pamela.

  ‘My grandmother seems to know about Adam. I’m surprising him tonight with a picnic dinner and she insists on preparing a three-course meal!’

  ‘She’s such a character,’ Pamela laughed, her dimples showing. ‘That’s something my mother would have done.’

  Jade’s smile faded quickly. Her grandmother was the only mother figure in her life. Pamela knew about Asha’s absences that stretched back to Jade’s school days, and she picked up on Jade’s now muted expression. ‘You are very lucky to have such a loving grandmother,’ she said in a gentle voice. ‘Sometimes all we need is that one special person in our life.’

  Jade set up the surprise dinner at the vantage point overlooking the mountains where she and Adam had shared their first kiss. Blue and purple shadows made the charred plains blur until they almost looked like a river.

  Jade laid out a towel and the food Helena had cooked, and lit some candles she found in the cabin. She’d brought a bottle of wine. The night was still and silent, rich with the perfume of eucalyptus. ‘I can’t believe you did all this,’ Adam said, flattered. He kissed the nape of her neck, where the candlelight caught on her skin.

  ‘I can’t take full credit,’ Jade said, grinning. ‘I had some help. And by help, I mean my grandmother made all of it. But the thought was mine.’

  He opened the bottle of wine and poured them each a glass. ‘The thought is all that counts. So, what is this green stuff?’

  ‘Dolmathakia. It’s a classic Greek appetiser made from grape leaves filled with rice, pine nuts and herbs. Taste one.’

  She slipped one into his mouth. ‘It’s unexpectedly delicious for something that looks like an oiled leaf,’ he said.

  Jade laughed and took a sip of the wine. ‘I’ll tell her you approve of Greek food. Wait till you try the baklava.’

  He took her hand and kissed it, and then held it to his face. He had fine stubble around his chin and she liked the way it felt under her fingers. ‘I can’t believe I’ve only known you for two weeks. Actually, it’s less than that, if we don’t count the night of the fires. It just feels like so much longer,’ he said.

  Jade smiled, happy knowing he was as comfortable in her company as she was in his. She could feel his gaze on her skin like a marking, tracing his eyes along her face, her collarbone, her lips. ‘I’ve actually been meaning to ask you, how did you find me that night?’

  He wiped the hair away from his forehead. ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Why did you go to the creek in the midst of the fires when everyone was heading to the oval?’

  He seemed caught off guard. His cheeks bleached white. ‘I saw you that morning. You probably wouldn’t remember. We were doing the rounds to check that everyone was initiating their fire plan before the warning was changed to evacuation. I was in the tanker when the commander spoke to your father.’

  He looked down at the sweeping vista before them, the bl
ood drawing back into his face. ‘When the fires came, it was chaos. We were shuttling people from their homes to the oval. There was so much smoke and raining embers that we knew every time we did a rescue we were risking our lives. Then an order came through for all emergency-services personnel on the mountain to evacuate and retreat to the oval. There were still so many people that needed our help but we had to follow the instructions. Just as we were heading back, I saw that your house was alight. And then I saw you running. I thought you would head to the road but you ran into the forest. I told Tom I’d seen someone in trouble and that I would meet him at the oval. We argued for a while. He told me I was crazy and pulled rank, so I went with the others to the oval. An hour must have passed and when the wind changed, I knew it was headed in your direction. You wouldn’t have stood a chance out there. So, I grabbed one of the vehicles. They tried to stop me but by then everyone was so afraid that they didn’t dare move off the oval.’

  Jade listened to him, a numbness coming over her. She saw a vein pulse in his forehead.

  ‘I ran into the inferno and as soon as I did, I was terrified. I couldn’t see three feet in front of me. I was sure I was going to die. I gave myself ten minutes to find you and then I was going to be out of there. Just as I was about to give up, I spotted you in the creek. You were so still.’ He paused, lowering his voice, as if he didn’t want to say it aloud. ‘I thought you were dead. I ran over and lifted you from the water and couldn’t believe you were alive. I gave you oxygen but I could barely see in front of me and I thought I’d never find my way back to the vehicle. There was a point where I thought that was it. I was so relieved when we made it to the truck. I drove to the oval ’cause there was nowhere else to go. When I got there with you, the guys were shocked. They thought I was a goner. We treated you there in the vehicle as the embers rained down on the top of the car. You were unconscious. Your arm was badly burned. When the fire front passed, I drove you to the hospital and left you there.’