The Soul Redeemer: From Victim to Victory

by Bowser, Nancy

  At 4:30, Jo stood up knowing that it was time to go home, then looked at her questioningly when she patted his head and said, "It's ok boy. You stay here. I'll be right back." His brows creased with concern and she heard him whine as she climbed the steps to the first suite where Mr. Chavel was staying. His door was open and he stepped out onto the balcony when he heard her coming.

  "Hello Nicole. Thank you for agreeing to meet with us. Mrs. Smith will be along shortly. She arrived a little later than she planned and is just getting settled in."

  Nicole knew this of course because Casie had told her of Mrs. Smith's arrival and registering at 3:45. Of course Casie did not know that Nicole had already been aware that she was coming.

  They sat at the small round table and Nicole answered, "That's fine. I have some questions, Mr. Chavel. I really do not understand your interest in me. I don't fit the image of a clothing model."

  "I thought you might wonder about that," He smiled. "You would be accurate according to most fashion experts in the industry; however, my goal with my newest line of clothing is to appeal to the average woman. Are you aware that the largest age group of women is between the ages of 45 and 70 years old? There is a wide open business opportunity here. They have time to shop and money to spend. But they want to see what the product looks like on real women. That's where you come in."

  He stood and said, "I would like to show you some photos of my work, and also some of your twin, Megan."

  Nicole nodded, and he stepped into the suite and back out a moment later with a laptop. He hit several buttons, then smiled and turned the computer towards her.

  Nicole would not have believed it if she hadn't seen it with her own eyes. It appeared as though she were looking at herself there on the screen. She was speechless and unaware that her mouth was hanging open.

  She was so lost in thought as she examined every detail of the woman on the screen that she didn't hear Mrs. Smith approaching. "You weren't kidding Peter. She's a dead ringer for Megan."

  Still in shock, Nicole turned and looked at the stylishly handsome middle aged woman. Mr. Chavel stood up and said, Nicole, I would like to introduce Mrs. Smith, my assistant. Dorothy, this is Nicole, hopefully our new fashion model."

  Mrs. Smith reached out to shake Nicole's hand. She was smiling, but somehow the smile didn't quite reach her eyes. As Nicole took the woman's hand, it seemed as though the fog that had been pressing in on her all day finally descended and planted itself firmly in her mind. Nicole shivered in spite of the warm afternoon.

  The three of them sat at the table and Mr. Chavel was explaining something about the clothing style they were targeting. She sat there listening, and yet there was a thought that was boiling somewhere in the back of her mind that she just couldn't quite grab hold of.

  "Nicole? Are you alright?... Nicole?"

  "Oh, Mr. Chavel, I'm fine. Yes. I guess all of this is a little much to comprehend," she said.

  "Peter. You must call me Peter.

  "Peter is it then. Thank you."

  "I was just saying that I'm going to pull up some pictures of the new clothing line so that you can get a better feel for what we are after," he continued.

  They looked at several pages of stylish yet casual clothes that were being modeled by Megan. Nicole was getting more uncomfortable with every page. It wasn't the clothes that bothered her. She would have been comfortable wearing any of those she saw.

  Finally she said, "I don't think that this is for me. No matter how much I look like this other person, Megan, I am not her. I have a life here that I love. If I took this job, what would my life look like?"

  Mrs. Smith answered with a smile. "You would get to travel a lot. You would be going to many exciting cities around the world, staying in the best hotels and meeting many exciting new people. I dare say you would love it!"

  Nicole didn't smile. "So I would be gone from home a lot. What about my job here?"

  Peter said, "Yes, you would. You would be home, I'd say…about eight to ten days a month. This is all assuming that you do well in the auditions."

  "Auditions?" Nicole asked.

  Mrs. Smith said, "Of course dear. Modeling is not only about wearing the clothes. It's about delivery. A good model presents the clothes with a presence that makes them come alive with personality and appeal so that others will desire to own them."

  Peter spoke up encouragingly, "Megan was exceptional in doing this, and I'm sure that you can be too with a little practice. Don't worry, we wouldn't put you in the auditions without training you."

  "I'll tell you what," Mrs. Smith said. "Come with me and I'll show you a few items of clothing that you can try on and just see how you feel in them. And then you can go home and think about all this." She rested her hand over Nicole's for a moment. "I can only imagine how shocking this must be for you. Seeing the clothes might help you to think this through."

  "Great idea Dorothy!" Peter agreed.

  Nicole was a little uneasy, but followed Mrs. Smith into the suite. "Come on back into the bedroom, dear, the clothes are in here." She pulled a couple things out of a designer bag and handed them to Nicole. "You can put these on in there." She pointed to the bathroom.

  Nicole came out wearing a very nice but casual, form fitting red sweat shirt with a flouncy grey skirt. She looked at her reflection in the mirror and saw that she looked good! She felt invigorated as well. Maybe she could do this!

  "You look marvelous!" Mrs. Smith gushed.

  Peter came and stood in the bedroom doorway. He was smiling from ear to ear. "I feel as if we have our Megan back with us," he said.

  "How do you feel in them, dear?" Mrs. Smith asked.

  "I feel great," she replied.

  Looking very pleased, Peter saluted, "To the Queen of Casual!"

  To which Mrs. Smith clapped her hands and said, "Here, here!"

  And then Peter said, "Nicole, we will need to leave here before sun up tomorrow morning. We are on our way to Paris." He looked over at Mrs. Smith who gave him an encouraging nod, and then he continued. "We would like to have you leave with us in the morning."

  Nicole's mouth was once again hanging open, and Mrs. Smith smiled and said, "Nicole dear, you show such great potential, but should you decide to accept our offer, the first thing we are going to have to work on is the building up of your jaw muscle. It keeps falling open."

  Peter laughed, but Nicole wasn't sure that was funny. Then he said, "You, my dear, look a bit sleepy, and even so you are as beautiful as a butterfly!"

  The next thing she knew, she was standing in the living room, feeling a little bit dizzy and wondering why Jo was barking.

  "Are you alright, my dear?" Peter was asking. "You look a little pale. Come sit down for a moment before you go."

  Mrs. Smith came out of the bedroom and said, "I'm sure it's just the sudden changes you are contemplating, dear. That would make anyone feel a little unsteady."

  Peter handed her a bottle of water and opened it for her. "Perhaps some water will help."

  She took a few swallows and was feeling better even though her eyes felt scratchy and it seemed like her mind was a bit foggy. "What time is it? Where did I put my phone?"

  Mrs. Smith retrieved her phone and clothes from the bedroom for her. That's right; she had been trying on clothes and was still in them.

  Nicole looked at her phone and saw that it was already 7:10. "How did it get so late? My husband's called twice. He'll be worried." She stood up slowly and was relieved to find that the dizziness was gone. She picked up her clothes. "I'll go change real quick."

  "Just keep the clothes you are wearing, dear. Our gift to you for considering our little proposition," Mrs. Smith said.

  Nicole was beginning to hate the way Mrs. Smith kept referring to her as "dear," as if she were a child. They were nearly the same age after all, and she was certain that she was not dear in any way to this lady. She realized that she didn't really want the clothes she was wearing, but she was anxious to leav
e.

  "Thank you," she answered.

  Peter reached out and took her free hand in his. "You're sure you are well enough to drive?" She nodded and he continued. "Call us as soon as you make a decision about our offer. We really would love to have you join us in the morning." He paused as he looked into her eyes, and then said, "I know you'll be superb!" He smiled tenderly and then released her hand. "You have my number."

  That's right; they wanted her to leave her life behind tomorrow morning! She was worried about being a few hours late in getting home to her husband, and they wanted her to leave him behind for weeks?

  She wasn't sure if the spell had been broken as she thought of leaving Jake or if it was Jo's consistent barking, but it was as if a thread of reality was being woven back into her mind and she answered, "Thank you both for the offer and your confidence, but really, there is no way that I could be ready to go that soon. I will have to think and pray about this and talk to my husband."

  She cringed at Mrs. Smith's irritating response, "Of course dear," and Peter's overly gushy parting words.

  Nicole left the Inn feeling very…she couldn't quite place the feeling actually. Confused? Uneasy? Yes, both of those things. Something just wasn't settling right with her. Violated. Yes, that too. But not in a sexual way, more in a mental way, like they had gotten into her head somehow. And there was something about Mrs. Smith and Peter that bothered her. Something she couldn't quite put her finger on, like an elusive thought. She wished that she hadn't accepted the clothes, but she truly had been in a hurry to get home. She picked up the phone and called Jake while she rubbed her tired, irritated eyes.

  The machine answered. He must be outside. She left a message saying that she was on her way home, and then her thoughts returned to the crazy experience she had just been through. People don't just walk up to you on the street and ask you to become a fashion model! And it isn't every day that you see another person who looks exactly like you!

  When Nicole got home, she found a note from Jake. She hadn't thought to listen to his messages, and she had forgotten that he was going to be gone that evening. She felt bad that she hadn't been there to get his dinner, but then realized how tired she was! She called Jake's cell phone and he answered.

  "Hey! I was beginning to worry about you," he said.

  "Hi hon. I just got detained at the Inn. I'll tell you about it later. I'm so sorry I wasn't here to get your dinner. I forgot that you had a meeting tonight."

  "Don't worry. I grabbed a sandwich. I'll be home around 10:00. Gotta go."

  "Ok. Love you!"

  "Love you too! Bye."

  Nicole ate a bowl of cereal and went to bed. She didn't hear Jake come home and climb in bed beside her. It was the irritating mosquito bite on her neck that woke her up, and she was glad it had. What a nightmare she had been having!

  In the dream, Nicole was lying on a table and a woman had placed a cap of sorts onto her head and fastened some contact lenses onto the pupils of her eyes that had wires connecting them to a machine next to her. Pictures began flashing through the lenses at an incredible speed, and she realized that they were familiar pictures of her life; people she knew, places she had been, and things she had done. She heard a man's voice asking how it was going and then the woman's answer. "Most of the markers are gone, but I believe that the upload is successful enough to provide adequate info for a download."

  She was experiencing that feeling of violation again, the mind violation she had felt yesterday after leaving the Inn. She sat up in bed and did not understand what the dream meant; however, there was clarity of mind that had not been there since she first met Peter that morning. And there was obviously something very wrong with this whole situation.

  She got up and went into the living room and began to pace. "Lord Jesus, please forgive me for falling into such a trap of the enemy! I am not a model and I don't even want to be one! How could I have entertained that thought for even a moment? Why was I so obsessed by the temptation? I know that obsession is often an attempt of the enemy to entrap. Why didn't I recognize it as such? I know that I belong here! I belong with Jake and the Inn. How could I have considered differently even for a moment? It was like I was under a spell, but what bothers me is how easily I succumbed to it. Why is that Lord?"

  "Nicole," came the whisper that surrounded her spirit, soul and body with love and peace like a warm blanket. "What is the desire of your heart?"

  It was as if a veil was being removed and she saw an age old, repulsive idol. Beauty and self worship, pride, admiration and the desire of worship from others reeked with the stench of defilement from inside the deep recesses of her heart. This had been so well hidden that she had been totally unaware of it. How was that possible?

  Nicole dropped to her knees. "Oh Jesus please forgive me! I can see my sin so clearly now! I see how these sinful desires led me into this trap; why I so easily gave into the temptation!

  "This makes me so sad because the biggest desire of my heart is for people to see You when they look at me. I want to love You with every part of myself! I know that I am nothing without You.

  "But Jesus, I thought I that I had already confessed this same sin and renounced body image as a false god when I dealt with IS. Why is this still an issue with me? I didn't realize it still had such a stronghold in my life."

  "Did you tear down the high places Nicole?" came the answer in the form of a question.

  "What does that mean Lord? I know that in the Old Testament people worshipped false gods on the high places such as on mountains and hills, and that many of the Israelite kings who chose to follow You destroyed the false gods but did not destroy the high places, the home of the idols. This allowed evil spirits to return and to lead the people right back into idol worship.

  "But how can I apply this to my life? How do I tear down the high place of self worship from my life?" Nicole asked.

  Nicole began to experience what she could only identify as a vision, for she knew that she was wide awake.

  She saw herself standing on the back deck of her house. She was amazed to see a beautiful pond in the yard. She was admiring the clarity of the water and noticed that she could clearly see the bottom of the pond. Suddenly she saw what appeared to be the dead bones of a large, evil looking creature. While she watched, a very large hand came out from under the house and grabbed hold of the bones. It began pulling them towards the house, and as they moved along, the bones began to grow flesh. Just before the creature disappeared under the house, she saw it begin to move.

  "Jesus! That is really creepy!" Nicole told the Lord.

  "Yes it is," Jesus answered. "I want you to understand how things that may look dead in the spiritual realm, can be revived and become active again. And this is why the high places must be destroyed."

  Nicole realized that she had broken the rights that IS had over her, but there was still a place deep within that she had kept hidden, like the hand under the house, a desire that clung to the good things of this life as a source of security. Comfort, beauty, a life of enjoyment and ease all pointed to the idol of self worship.

  This was the high place for the idol of self. She confessed this to God and was reminded of the Whirlwind that had visited her several years back as the Holy Spirit asked her to surrender herself to Him. Nicole surrendered this dark hiding place of false security, self love and love of the world to Him.

  She also knew that she needed to confess this sin to Jake and to Casie. She realized that the high place, the darkness, was like an open door, inviting the demons to come back and take their place; like the dead bones of the monster coming back to life. Confession was like turning on God's Light, and that would destroy the darkness.

  That thought of harboring darkness and the resurrection of demonic dead bones repulsed her so much that she woke Jake up right then.

  "Jake. Honey, wake up!" Nicole said shaking him.

  He slowly rolled over and asked, "Is the house on fire? I didn't hear the alarm." />
  "No silly. I have to tell you something."

  "Ok."

  "There has been an idol in my heart. I didn't realize how much of a hold it had on me until today when I was offered a job as a model. I later realized that the idol in my heart is self worship and the desire for beauty and comfort. Are you awake?"

  "Uh huh."

  "Well I had to tell you because I had to tear down the high place in my heart where the idol was hiding. God's Light destroys the darkness you know."

  Silence. "Are you listening to me?"

  "Uh huh."

  "Ok, well I'm going to test you in the morning about what I just said. I have to make sure that the Light is really on."

  "You want the light on?"

  Nicole smiled. "Not right now, honey. You can go back to sleep. Thank you for listening."

  "Uh huh."

  Well, she had done her best short of pushing him out of the bed. It would have to do for now, and in the morning she would call Casie to make sure there would be accountability. In fact she realized that she should have told Casie the moment she first met Mr. Chavel.

  Now condemnation began to reach out and grab hold of her. She got up and went back to the living room to pace some more thinking about how stupid she had been. She cringed when she thought how close she had come to walking away from the Lord and Jake and everything!

  "Ok Lord, I've been here before and I recognize and renounce condemnation. However, I will accept Your conviction. Help me to know what went wrong here today. I can understand that I was tempted and that my sin was when I chose to entertain those thoughts and temptations. I never even asked You what You wanted for me! Please forgive me Jesus!" Nicole cried out.

  She knew she was forgiven, but there was more here that she needed to understand. Why hadn't she told Casie? In rethinking the whole day, she began to realize that it really did seem as if she had been under a spell. The brain fog.

  "Lord, why was I in such a fog?"

  "Did you call out for Me Nicole?"

  "No, I didn't."

  "There is no condemnation, but you must understand. There is more at work here than you know. There are still some ties, strongholds of the enemy that I haven't revealed to you yet…."