“That’s great, right?” He watched me, waiting for the bad news. There was always bad news.
“Yes. It’s great.” I sighed.
“Then why do you look like you got terrible news?” He moved closer and rubbed my shoulders.
“We go in next week for chemo and it’s going to be rough. It’ll be stronger than anything he’s had because they have to wipe out his system. He’s not going to be able to come home either. It’ll be inpatient treatment.” I slowly shook my head. “The last treatment was so rough, and this one will be worse. I don’t know if I can go through it again.” Tears welled in my eyes as the knot in my throat grew.
“He’s a tough kid. He’s been through a lot for only being three, and you’re forgetting two important things.” Dad smiled softly as he pulled me in for a hug.
“What’s that?” I mumbled into his chest.
“This treatment is a transplant. It’s going to cure him, and you have Micha to lean on.” He pulled back and looked into my eyes. “You need to lean on him. I’m here, but he’s the father. Let him be that rock that he seems to want to be so badly. Give him the chance.”
“I will.” I sighed as I wiped my eyes.
“Will what?” Micha’s head popped around the corner.
“Try not to kill you.” I narrowed my eyes as I tossed a dish rag at him.
He held his hands up. “We just want to know when dinner is going to be ready. We’re hungry.” Micha chuckled as he picked up the rag from where it had landed at his feet.
“I’ll let you two be.” Dad laughed as he hugged me one last time and placed a kiss to the top of my head. “Call me if you need anything.”
“Thanks, Dad.” I smiled, and then watched him leave.
Micha moved to stand in front of the fridge. He leaned down, and just stared at the contents. “So, what are you fixing?”
“Is this what it would be like?” I crossed my arms over my chest and tapped my foot.
“What what would be like?” Micha stood up and closed the fridge door.
“Being married to you. You’d demand food while I did all the cooking? Glad I dodged that bullet,” I muttered under my breath. One would think that I waved a red flag in front of charging bull with the speed in which he moved.
With a few quick strides, Micha was standing in front of me towering over my frame, and pushing until my back hit the wall across from us. “First off, I don’t demand anything from a woman. I give her what she wants willingly. If we were together, I’d be taking care of just as many chores as you. Marriage is a partnership. We’d both benefit, and you’d be treated like a queen.” His chest was rising in quick pants as he attempted to rein himself in.
“I thought you treated girls like princesses?” I tipped my head to the side as I stared up at him. I was pushing his buttons, but for some reason I wanted to at the moment.
“I used to.” He moved closer. I could feel his breath blowing across my face and I shivered, causing him to chuckle. Just when I thought he was going to kiss me, he bypassed my lips and whispered by my ear, “You aren’t a little girl anymore. You’re a woman and deserve to be treated like one.”
I swallowed. “I need air.” I stepped back, putting space between us. Micha ran his palms down his face and closed his eyes. “We’re getting pizza tonight. My treat.” He stormed out of the kitchen, leaving me there in a daze.
“Yay! Pizza!” Danny squealed as I rounded the corner to find him jumping on the couch again.
“What’s the rule?” I pointed at him.
“No jwumping,” he grumbled as he climbed down. “Wanna go play in my rwoon?” He smiled at Micha. “Mommy doesn’t know I jwump on the bed.” He giggled.
“Sure.” He winked before reaching in his pocket and tossing me his wallet. “Order a pizza.” In that moment the wall I’d erected around my heart started the crack a little. Micha Stanton was slowly finding his way inside once again; I just hoped I was ready for it.
ooooooooo
Micha
Ever dreamed that you’re trying to reach something, and every time you start to get close enough, it seems to move a little farther away? That’s my life right now. I thought the news that I was a match would bring us closer, but she seems even further from me. I spent time playing with Danny in his room until the pizza arrived. We ate together at the kitchen table before sitting Danny down in the family room to tell him the news. For a little kid, he took the news better than I thought he would. It broke my heart when Savannah told him he’d have more chemo. His little lip quivered as he looked between the both of us. The final straw was when he asked me if I’d stay with him. I have no idea what kind of recovery I’m looking at, but nothing is going to keep me from his room.
Savannah put Danny to bed a few minutes ago, and now I’m sitting here trying to find ways to keep from leaving. If I had it my way, I’d be moving in but Savannah’s not ready for that and I don’t think Danny is either.
“You ok?” I turned to face where she was sitting on the couch. She looked so small sitting there, and I couldn’t help but wonder what she was thinking about.
“Sure.” She shrugged, but it didn’t sound very convincing. “I’m just not ready for all this again.”
“Wanna talk about it?” I scooted closer to her.
“Nothing to talk about.” She pulled away as if having me close hurt her in some way. “I’ve been doing this alone for over a year.”
“But you don’t have to this time.” I moved closer, and this time, when she tried to move away, I clamped my hand down on her thigh. “Stop.” I shifted to face her. “I know you think you have to be this independent woman with me, but you don’t. Yell at me. Lean on me. Do whatever you need to, I’m here for you.” I cupped her face in my hands. “I’m here.” I lowered my voice as I leaned in and let our foreheads touch. “Do you understand me? I’m here.”
She nodded as her eyes began to flood with tears. They cascaded down her cheeks as her body shuddered. “I’m sorry. I don’t know how.” She sniffed. I pulled her closer, and despite the fact that she tried to push me away, I was able to wrap her in my arms. She tensed at first, but then began to relax as I rubbed her back.
“I know you want to be brave for him,” I nodded towards Danny’s room, “but sometimes it’s ok to break a little. I’ll pick up the pieces. I’ll be your glue. You can fall apart. It’s ok.” I rocked her slowly in my arms as the tears continued. We sat there on the couch until the late hours of the night. When she finally exhausted herself, I turned and laid us both down. I knew that when morning came and she found me here, I’d probably face her wrath, but right now she needed this and if I was being honest, so did I.
Chapter 21
Savannah
Normally I wake up before the sun. I make a pot of coffee, get ready for the day, and then enjoy a little bit of quiet before my dad comes over to watch Danny. Today was different. When I woke up, it was already light out and I wasn’t in my bed. I was curled against something hard. The smell of laundry soap filled my nose, and soft breathing filled my ears. I blinked a few times and glanced around. I was on the couch, and Micha was beside me, sort of. I was kinda draped over him, one arm resting across his chest, and the other tucked up under me. One leg was thrown across his lap and my head fit perfectly on his chest, tucked under his chin. I remember falling asleep like this in the barn when we were kids.
“Stop thinking so hard.” His gruff sleep filled voice startled me. “Let me wake up before you get mad.”
“I’m not mad, just surprised to find you still here.” I yawned as I attempted to untangle myself from him.
His arm around me tightened. “Stay.”
“I need to make breakfast.” I pushed against his grip. “I have to be at work.” He released me, and I rocked to a sitting position. I looked down at him all rumpled with sleep. “Why aren’t you at work?” I was confused.
“I own the place. If I want time off, I take it.” He scrubbed his palms down his
face, and sighed. He sat up beside me and ran his fingers through his hair. “I don’t remember you being this high strung when we were in high school.”
I scowled at him. “I have responsibilities now that I didn’t back then. It’s called being an adult!” I stood and placed my hands on my hips. “Maybe you should try it.”
“Well, good morning to you too.” He stood and mirrored my position. “I was going to take you guys out to breakfast this morning, but now I’m thinking I should leave.” He turned and stormed toward the door. “Crazy woman,” he muttered under his breath.
“You invited yourself to stay over. What did you think would happen when I woke up?” I flung my arms out at my sides.
He took a few steps toward me, and then thinking better of it, turned and went back to the door, shaking his head and muttered some more to himself. “I thought we were getting somewhere. I guess I was wrong. Tell Danny I’ll see him soon.” He opened the door and slammed it behind him, causing me to jump in the process. Presumptuous ass! I don’t know what he thought was happening, but I hadn’t agreed to anything.
“Whys it so loud?” Danny’s sleep filled voice came from behind me.
“I’m sorry, buddy. Micha’s not used to having kids around. He can be loud at times. I’ll remind him next time he’s here.” I picked Danny up and hugged him. His little arms circled my neck, and as he placed a kiss on my cheek all was right in my world again.
“It’s okay.” He grinned at me. “Good morning!”
“Grandpa will be here soon, but I might have time to make you some waffles. How does that sound?” I smiled at him as I made a mental check that I did in fact have some toaster waffles in the freezer.
“Gweat!” he squealed. “Cans we eats them in hwere?” He pointed at the couch I’d just been sleeping on with Micha.
“Sure.” I shrugged. At least now it would smell like maple instead of Micha. I had forgotten how addictive his soap was.
“I’s gonna watch for Gwampa. Yous get to cookin’.” He giggled as he squirmed out of my arms and bounced over to the couch.
“Deal.” I laughed as I made my way into the kitchen. I needed coffee and anything to get my mind off of Micha Stanton. How was I supposed to be around him at work today?
ooooooooo
Micha
How was I still on the shit list? It seemed like every time I saw her, I did something to piss her off. She left me? Did she remember that? I turned into the driveway at the farm, and parked by the stand. I needed to get some things from my office before I went out to the fields anyway.
When I climbed out of my truck, Trent, one of hired hands was coming right for me. It meant one of two things, he wanted something or he’d broken something. My bet was on the former.
“Hey, boss?” His feet skidded to a stop a few feet in front of me.
“Whatever it is you want; I don’t have time for it right now,” I grumbled as I stepped around him.
“I just want to know if you’re still with that Brittany chick?” he yelled at my back, causing me to stop this time. I took a few deep breaths to calm myself before turning around. The hot sun was shining right in my face, and I didn’t have my hat at the moment. “I ran into her at the bar last night, and she was being real friendly, if you know what I mean.” I knew exactly what he meant. Brittany didn’t like the word ‘no’.
“We aren’t together.” I shook my head and waved him off.
“Ok. Good. I’m not into taking another guy’s woman,” he called back.
“Get back to work.” I pointed to a tractor coming in with a load of corn.
“Yes, sir.” He took off running toward where the crew was unloading crates to be sorted.
ooooooooo
When I stepped into the office, my brother was sitting at his desk. The cool air of the air conditioner did nothing for my temper. “We’re behind on corn orders, and you’re in here?” I scowled.
“I was out all morning. I’m having a break. That ok with you?” He glared at me.
“Whatever. Do whatever you want. I mean, it’s not like you work for me or anything.” I flopped down in my desk chair and shoved some papers that were stacked on my desk.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Max stopped what he was doing and directed his full attention at me. “Dad said the doctors called yesterday. You not a match or something?”
“No. I am,” I grumbled. I was pouting like a little boy.
“So why are you being an ass?”
“She accused me of not being an adult.” I shoved at the papers once again and was satisfied when they fell to the ground.
“Ohhhh.” Max started laughing. “She called you out on your bullshit and you’re mad about it.”
“I am an adult. I run this farm.” I stabbed my finger at my chest.
“We run this farm.” Max rocked forward and stared at me. “And… you have been acting like a child for years. You bed whomever holds still long enough. You come and go as you please. Can you blame her?” He threw his arms out at his sides. The jerk was right, and that made me even angrier.
“Fine.” I sighed as I ran my hands through my hair. “You have a point.”
“I’m the older, smarter one. I always have a point.” He laughed and lifted his chin. “Didn’t you have that same shirt on yesterday?”
“I fell asleep at Savannah’s last night,” I mumbled as if I was a kid being questioned by my father.
“She tossed you this morning, huh?”
“I didn’t give her the chance. I left. She was mad. Figured she needed to cool off.” I shrugged.
“I hope you didn’t tell her that.” Max snickered. “You never tell a woman to cool off even if they need to. All you’re doing is heating them up even more, and trust me when I tell you the only time you want them angry is for make-up sex.”
“Thanks, oh wise one.” I rolled my eyes. I grabbed my hat, and stood. “I’ll be out in the corn. Later.” I waved as I left the office, including the mess of papers I had shoved to the floor.
“Don’t mind the mess. I’ll take care of it,” Max called as the door closed behind me.
ooooooooo
The day went much like my morning, frustratingly slow and hot. The crew and I finished picking the west field, and were able to fill all but one of the late orders. We stayed late, but I sent everyone home when storm clouds started to roll in. “The Millers need this order tomorrow, so we’re starting at first light,” I ordered as I climbed down from my perch atop the tractor. There were a few collective groans, but everyone was in agreement when they left.
Max had picked up Hailey and left long before we’d come in, so it was just me locking everything up. I couldn’t really blame him. He did have two small children at home. After locking the office, I made my way home.
Mom was standing at the stove cooking when I came in the door. Dad was in his usual spot in the family room. He was arguing with something on the TV. I waved as I made my way to the bathroom. I needed a shower, and I was exhausted. Sleeping on the couch, and then working in the hot sun will do that to you.
“You want me to save you some dinner?” Mama called.
“Nah. I’m good. Thanks,” I yelled back as I took the last few steps upstairs.
The cool water of the shower felt heavenly on my sore muscles. I just stood under the spray letting the grime from the day run off me. The water was a gray color as it puddled around my feet. Picking corn was not a glamorous job. It was backbreaking work, and if you weren’t paying attention, it would tear up your hands.
When I finished, I wrapped a towel around my waist, and shuffled into my room. There was a message flashing on my phone. ‘Voicemail’ was all it said, but when I checked the number, it was Savannah’s. Hope bloomed in my chest that she’d finally come to her senses and she was going to apologize. I clicked on the message, but Savannah’s voice wasn’t what came through.
“Heys, Daddy.” Danny giggled. “Mommy says I cans talk this way. I missed you to
day. I wanted to plway withs you buts yous left. I miss you. Bye.” The line went quiet, and I just stared at the dark screen in my palm. He called me daddy. It hasn’t felt real until just now. My eyes welled as I thought about what he said. He missed me. I left and didn’t even tell him why. I let my anger with Savannah cause me to miss time with him. Never again.
I stood, tossed the phone on my bed, and started digging in my dresser for clean boxers. I rubbed the towel over my body, and quickly dressed in a tee and basketball shorts. After scrubbing the towel over my wet hair, I ran my fingers through it a few times, shoved the phone in my pocket, and grabbed my keys. On my way out, I grabbed my wallet, and shouted a ‘don’t wait up’ before jogging down the porch steps to my truck. As the screen door slammed behind me, I could hear my mom and dad laughing, and I started laughing too. She was doing it again. Savannah was turning me into a crazy person, only this time she had help.
Chapter 22
Micha
On my way to Savannah’s place, I went through the local DQ drive thru. I grabbed three chocolate shakes with extra whipped cream. When I pulled into the parking lot, I could see light from the TV flickering through the curtains. I hadn’t called, so Savannah had no idea I was coming over. I smiled, knowing this was probably going to piss her off even more. I didn’t care though. I was here for Danny.
I hopped out of my truck, grabbed the shakes, and made my way to her door. I knocked once, and waited. I couldn’t really hear movement from inside, but I knew she was home based on the light. Finally, Danny’s voice sounded. “I gots it!” came muffled through the door.
“No, you don’t!” Savannah yelled right after him. I heard her say more, but couldn’t make it out. Slowly, the door opened, and she peered around it. “What are you doing here?” she grumbled.
“I’m here to see my son.” I shifted my weight before squatting down to where Danny was peering out from behind his mother. “Hey, buddy.”
“Yous got my message.” He grinned at me.
One Last Time (The Stanton Brothers) Page 14
