Hilda and Zelda

by Paul Kater

goldfish flit around. "Is your brain handing you anything we can use?"

  William emptied his own tea cup. "Not really. Oh... I thought of something. Newspapers!"

  "Newspapers?" Hilda was not used to them, as these carriers of affairs were not invented yet in her world.

  "Yes, of course!" William slapped his forehead. "Why didn't I think of that sooner? If Zelda is making turmoil here, there has to be something in the papers. I mean, she even shot down the helicopter of a TV-station." He veered to his feet and grabbed his broom.

  "Where are we going?", Hilda asked as she also took her broom.

  "No, I am going alone, sweet witch," William said, "that is faster and less conspicuous."

  Hilda's face clouded over. "I never get to go to the fun places," she muttered, a pout on her face.

  "This is not something I'd call fun," William tried to make her feel better.

  "But I would!", the witch argued. "It's new, so it's fun!"

  "Next time we'll get one together," William promised. "I'll be back quickly." He kissed her on the cheek and left the room, broom under his arm.

  19. Taskforce

  William returned with the newspaper. He had gone to the neighbouring town to get one, as he was not sure that the town they were in would still be accessible for a newspaper truck.

  Hilda was glad to see him back unharmed and curiously eyed the stack of paper her wizard carried under his arm.

  William folded the paper open on the table, and together they stared at the headlines.

  "Prettyville in lockdown," Hilda read out loud. "That's here, isn't it?" she asked, to which William nodded. "The town of Prettyville has been closed off from the rest of the world by the army," she continued reading. "The series of strange incidents and inexplicable happenings of late have not ceased, according to police comissioner Brendan Willis. Rumours report the sighting of a witch, others report a real invasion of people flying on actual brooms and displaying magical powers."

  "Invasion," William snorted. "They don't have a clue that one is enough."

  Hilda nodded. "Indications that the devastation in the sewer beneath Drewmore Street are also the work of the aforementioned witch or witches have so far not been confirmed. The police for now assume that this is an after-effect of the terrorist gas attack."

  The witch looked at her wizard. "They keep spouting that crap, William. About time we tell them that there is no terrorist group."

  "We tried that, Hilda, and they didn't believe us. Pigheaded describes the lot of them."

  Hilda nodded as she turned the page. With interest she looked at the advertisements, then turned the next page. After a few seconds she said: "That's it!"

  "What is, sweet witch?" William looked at the page and missed what it apparently was.

  Hilda tapped a picture of a lady in an evening gown. The caption read 'Gala dress of the year.' "That is it. We have to do something with a 'witch of the year' thing, William. Zelda won't be able to resist that."

  William stared at her. "Do you know how much time and effort it takes to set something like that up? We need space, witches, a credible ambiance, money and stuff for prizes, and I can go on."

  "Oh, shush you," Hilda waved his words away. "You think in problems, William, while I think in opportunities. And this is a great opportunity to get Zelda. All we have to do is get that Witch of the Year thing going."

  "Yes. That's all." William frowned as he made two cups of coffee appear. He needed both of them, he was certain of that.

  "Oh, thank you," the witch said as William saw one cup of the dark gold disappear. "Now you be a good wizard and get all the circumstantial issues under control, and I will think of a way to capture Zelda once she shows up for the nomination of Witch of the Year."

  William said nothing. He took his cup before that disappeared as well and drank it, with a frown.

  Hilda put her empy coffee cup on the table, and with her sweetest smile she asked: "More, please?"

  He gave her more. Then he went to the next page of the newspaper, where another article caught his eye. "Hey, now look at this," he said to Hilda, who sat down next to him and also started to read the article that William pointed out.

  -=-=-

  They were on broomstick again. William had the newspaper with him and they were hoping to locate a certain address. Hovering over a part of the town they had not been to before, Hilda asked: "Are you sure this is the area? Doesn't look like much."

  "I know," admitted William. "But from what I could get from the article in the paper, this should be where we want to be."

  Slowly they descended to street level, deliberately flying past the houses there. They also went along very slowly, so the people in the houses were able to see them, unless they were blind as bats. The magical couple had almost reached the corner of another street, when they heard a door open and sensed someone stepping out. They halted their brooms and calmly turned around.

  The woman who had come out of her house looked in no way out of the ordinary. She wore jeans and a black t-shirt with some white text on it. Her brown hair was tied into a pony tail behind her head. Hilda and William flew their brooms back to the house, where the woman was watching them.

  After touching down and getting off the brooms, Hilda pointed at the newspaper in William's hand. "Are you one of the witches that's in that paper thing?"

  The woman nodded, speech temporarily having escaped her. "You are real," she finally managed to bring out, her eyes glued to the robes that the two people in the street were wearing.

  "Oh yes, darling, we are real. And we would like to have a talk with you. Preferably inside, before Zelda comes swooping down on us," Hilda said with her usual lack of diplomacy. It was a life-saver most of the time.

  "Oh, sure, please come in..." The woman was still searching for a title to address the two when they were already standing in the hall of her house. She closed the door. "You are real witches?"

  "I'm the witch," Hilda said, swelling with pride. "He's a wizard. He is William, I am Grimhilda. But you can call me Hilda."

  "Nice to meet you. I am Vivian. Most people call me idiot."

  "Well, Idiot, we are here to talk to you," Hilda proclaimed.

  Vivian flustered, and William made it clear to Hilda that Vivian and Idiot were not the same thing.

  "Oh. Right." Hilda shook her head. "This is such a crazy and insane world, William, it is time that we can go home. This place gives me a headache."

  "You are from a different world?" Disbelief and eagerness sounded from Vivian's voice at the same time. She had hoped that these real witches were from this world, so there might be more. And a training to be a witch like them.

  Hilda just nodded as they followed Vivian into the living room, the brooms leaning against the wall in the corridor. On the wall hung posters and pictures of everything that could be related to witchery. People flying on brooms, black cats, images of pointy hats, the works.

  "Can I offer you something to drink? I'm afraid I only have tea. Or coffee. I don't know if you can drink that."

  "Sure, tea would be good," said Hilda. She sat down on the couch and sunk deep into the soft cushions. "Ooooh, suck an elf! This thing tries to eat me!" The witch jumped up and stared at the innocent couch, her wand in her hand. "You have vicious furniture, Vivian. Better train it some more before someone gets hurt for real."

  The woman in jeans stared at the wand. "How did you do that?"

  "What?"

  "The wand..."

  "Oh." Hilda made it disappear. "Nothing special."

  Vivian was nailed to the floor, seeing that magical stuff happen in her very own living room.

  William took Hilda's hand and led the witch to a chair that was not so soft. "Sit down, this one is safe," he said. He winked at Vivian. "Know what, you start telling why you wanted to get in touch with us and I'll get the tea."

  "Uhuh," said Vivian who sat down on the couch, staying away from Hild
a. As a tray with tea, milk, lemon and cookies appeared on the table, she shrieked and was on her feet again, hurtling towards the far wall.

  "Do you think this was a good idea?" Hilda asked William as she eyed the scared woman. "When we read they are witches, I had a different idea. They jump at the merest hint of magic."

  William nodded, then turned to Vivian as he put his wand away. "Vivian. Come and sit down. We are from another world, as you have noticed. We possess real magic, we fly on real brooms-"

  "The proper way," Hilda added as she looked at a picture on the wall.

  "-and we are here to apprehend a witch that somehow got to this world. And she's been giving us a hell of a time to catch her," William finished.

  Vivian slowly walked over to the couch again, where William was sitting, and sat down on the armrest.

  "I guess you read about Town Hall," William said. "She had taken up residence in there, and we tried to flush her out. Too bad she was not in at the moment."

  "Otherwise we'd have her," Hilda nodded. She leaned over and picked up a cup of tea and a cookie. "Oh. Chocolate. Thank you, my wizard."

  Vivian stared at Hilda now.

  "See, we read in that newspaper that someone had an interview with the witches of this town," Hilda continued. "So we had this idea that we might join forces. We do our bit, you do your bit and that way we might get Zelda."

  "Zelda," Vivian nodded without much conviction yet. "She's bad, right?"

  "Oh, bad is hardly the word. She set dragons onto us!" Hilda put down her cup, got up and spread out her arms. "Really big dragons. Fully grown