by Lelly Hughes
“If you’ll excuse me,” I say as I quickly disappear down the hall. I knock softly on Zara’s door, hoping that she’s awake. The waiting almost kills me though. My heart is beating so fast that I can feel it in my throat. She put herself out there earlier, and like an ass, I closed the door after I tasted what she had to offer.
Zara opens the door wide and inviting. I think about stepping in, but I’m not so sure I’d come out in time to entertain my friends.
“Hey.” My voice is soft and quiet, almost as if I’m trying to hide her. “Some friends stopped by They brought beer and food, and the guys are outside starting the bonfire. Do you want to join us?”
She shakes her head and starts to close the door, but I reach for her hand. “I’m sorry I took so long with the horses. That wasn’t my intent.”
“Okay.” That’s all she says as the door closes, effectively locking me out. I deserve it.
Left with no choice, I head outside with the guys and help put the chairs around the bonfire. I add a seventh for Zara just in case she decides to come out.
“One chair too many,” Roger says as he points to each one. I can see him counting to make sure.
“I have a friend staying here. I put it out just in case.” I don’t bother to tell them who she is because they likely wouldn’t know her nor do I mention that my guest is a female because they’d turn into vulgar boys and I don’t want to chance Zara hearing them.
With the fire roaring, beer bottles open and laughter carrying over my property, it feels good to be among friends even though I know they’re here to ask about Iris.
When we all sit down, I’m hoping that one of the chairs is left open next to me, but as luck would have it, Holly takes one while Sarah takes the other. I can already feel the tag team coming on.
“Where are the girls?” Lori asks.
“They’ll be here next week. It was a tough sell tryin' to get Stormy back here.”
“I can’t believe Iris is gone,” Sarah says. She takes a long pull off her beer and stares out into the fire. When we were growing up, they were best friends. But when I became famous, Iris found new friends and didn’t have time for Sarah. It wasn’t until Iris moved out that Chet, Roger, and I started hanging out again. I hated how Iris ruined friendships, but thankful that my friends saw through her bullshit.
I keep glancing back at the house, wondering what Zara is doing. I should be inside, groveling for forgiveness, but instead, I’m outside with my friends, who happen to think I’m lonely. They must’ve conveyed as much to Holly because she’s leaning so far over her chair that she’ll likely be on my lap after a few more beers. That is something I can’t have happen.
“You know, Levi,” Sarah says as she leans toward me. “Holly is dying to tell you that she’s a huge fan.”
“Shut up, Sarah.” I can tell by looking at Holly that she’s embarrassed. Holly’s cute with her shoulder length blond hair and blue eyes. She’s dressed like every other female around here with tight jeans and boots. Truthfully, Holly is the type of girl that I would go for, which is probably why Sarah brought her over.
“It’s okay, Holly. Sarah likes to embarrass me as well.” My comment gets Holly to smile. I find myself smiling back, but it quickly goes away when I realize that I want it to be Zara who I’m smiling at.
Chapter 19
Zara
I have never felt like someone on the outside until now. Listening to Levi and his friends laugh and carry on really makes me feel like I’m the odd man out, and maybe I am. Part of me is angry that he invited people over, knowing that I’m here hiding out from the world, but I get it because this is his house. It’s not some cottage in the middle of nowhere, and I shouldn’t expect him to live like a hermit because I’m here. The other part of me wants to get dressed and go outside to join them, to get to know his friends and see this side of him. I want to hear what makes him laugh, be there to witness what makes him smile and see if I can fit into his circle because I don’t think he’ll fit into mine.
I can’t imagine Levi sitting around the table with Darian or talking music with Rusty and Gabe. The only person I think Levi fits in with is my mother, and that’s because she loves everyone.
I dress quickly, slipping on a pair of jeans, long sleeve shirt, along with a pair of boots that don’t match anything that Levi would wear. Standing in front of the mirror I realize that my platinum and purple hair likely stands out among Levi’s friends and quickly pull my beanie off the mirror and tuck my hair away. If I’m going to go out there, I want to make an impression on his friends through my personality and not the way I look.
I expect the house to be dark when I step out into the hallway, but there’s a soft glow coming from various lights, making sure that you are safe from stumbling your way through the darkness. From the kitchen, I can hear their laughter and hurry toward the door. The problem is I don’t want to startle anyone by approaching them in the darkness. I could call Levi, but what are the chances that he has his cell phone with him and how awkward would that be?
I hesitate before opening the door, moving away and going back until I finally find the courage to open the sliding glass door and step out onto the deck.
If they hear or sense me, they don’t stop talking nor is anyone turning around to see who is coming near them.
From where I’m approaching, Levi’s back is to me. He’s sitting between two women, and instantly I’m jealous. I’m not hurt like I was when I found Van with that assistant, but I’m upset because I thought that what Levi and I shared today could be the beginning of something special. I know I’m stupid to think like that. Neither of us is in a place to pursue anything romantic.
“Are you lost?” I hear a stern male voice. He’s standing on the edge of the circle with his arms crossed. “This is private property, and you’re trespassing.”
“I’m Levi’s—“
“Nah, that isn’t how things work around here sweetheart. I suggest you leave before I help you.”
“Zara?” Levi’s voice pierces through the darkness.
“Hi,” I say.
“Do you know this intruder?” the man asks.
“She’s not an intruder, Chet. She’s my friend.”
Friend could mean anything, but it’s better than saying she’s a woman I know or someone I kissed earlier today. Friend, I can live with.
“Are you joinin' us?” Levi asks.
“If it’s okay?” I ask.
“Of course it is.”
The man who tried to kick me stares down at me as I pass. I half expect him to follow me, but he disappears into the darkness. The two women next to Levi are watching my every move and neither of them is offering up their seat. Not that I expected them to but figured one would make the gesture. There are two open seats, one next to the cooler and one next to a man who doesn’t seem to give a crap that I’m here, which is fine by me.
“There’s beer in the cooler,” Levi says before I sit down. I take one out and pop the top. “Anyone else needs one?” I offer as a good faith effort to fit in with his friends.
“Yes, I’ll take one.” The blond next to Levi says. Taking one to her, my mouth drops open when she hands it to Levi and asks him to open it. I try to hide my surprise, but Levi catches my eyes. He doesn’t say anything as he twists the lid off and hands it to her. Her sugar-sweet smile is enough to make me sick.
Walking back toward the open seats, I take the one next to the cooler, which could prove to be rather annoying if people think I’m going to be their gopher.
The blond next to Levi curls her legs underneath her and leans toward him, clearly marking her territory. It hits me hard in the chest that he might have a girlfriend or someone he’s been seeing, although he didn’t tell me he was, not that I asked either. I assumed he was single.
“Zora, how do you know Levi?” she asks.
“Zara,” I say, correcting her. “We met at a video shoot.” I leave out everything important, like his daughter bein
g the lead in my new music video or the fact that since I met him earlier in the week I have made excuses to see him every day and now I’m staying at his house.
I have never really felt jealousy before, until now. Not even when I watched my husband screw another woman. But watching this woman act predatory toward Levi really irks me. Clearly, she sees me as a threat, or she wouldn’t be acting this way. And Levi, what’s he doing? Nothing, except sitting there and sipping on his beer.
When the burly man who tried to kick me off the property returns, he has a guitar in his hand. Levi perks up and reaches for it, causing the blond to move.
“Now that you’re back, allow me to introduce everyone to Zara, she’ll be staying with me for a while. Zara this is Chet, Roger, Lori, Sarah, and Holly,” he says, pointing to everyone. Most say hi except for Sarah and Holly, and I’m fine with that. The message being sent is loud and clear. Too bad I don’t care. If Levi has a significant other, he can tell me himself.
“Are you going to play?” I ask.
“Yes, he is,” Holly says. “He’s the best.”
“I’m sure he is,” I say smugly.
“Haven’t you heard him before?”
“No, she hasn’t,” Levi says. “We’ve been spendin' time away from music, getting to know each other.” There’s a collective gasp that I figured is coming from Holly and Sarah. I lean forward and notice that Levi is watching me. The bonfire is playing its part in making sure we can see each other.
He continues to hold my gaze as he starts to strum and tune his guitar, but as soon as he starts playing and the words to his song flow between his lips, his eyes are on mine.
I easily get lost in the sound of his voice and the lyrics from the story he’s telling us. It’s easy to imagine that there isn’t anyone else surrounding us, that it’s just Levi and Zara, along with a roaring bonfire, sitting in the middle of his yard, playing music for one another. That vision is quickly altered when people start clapping, and Holly has suddenly put her arms around his neck and is pressing her lips to his cheek. He smiles, and I hate thinking that he does so because he likes it and it’s not because he’s polite.
This is how the rest of the night goes. I sit across from the man that I want to be next to and watch a woman flirt with him. Every time he says something funny, she laughs obnoxiously and touches him. It bothers me and it shouldn’t.
When Roger announces he’s calling it a night, everyone stands except for Holly. It’s clear to me now that they’re an item or have been in the past and she’s intending on staying, at least it’s a good thing that his room is at the other end of the hall and I won’t have to listen to them all night long. Levi stands and stretches, and thanks everyone for coming over. He pulls his friend Sarah into a hug, and once he releases her, she goes right to Holly. I try to hold back a smile, but it’s clear that she was told to take Holly home. Of course, I know better than to get my hopes up, but they are. They’re soaring high and blowing in the wind.
Levi comes over to me and leans his hands onto the arms of my chair. “I’m going to walk them out. Are you ready to go in?”
I shake my head. He grins. “I’ll be back in a minute or two.”
I’m tempted to lean forward and kiss him, but I don’t want to cause any issues with his friends.
As soon as he’s gone, I pull my legs into my chest and relax against the chair. The fire warms my face, and while it isn’t a cold night, it feels good. The slamming of doors has me counting the seconds until Levi is back. He calls out my name before he appears and takes the seat next to me.
“I’m sorry about my friends.”
“It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not,” he says. “They weren’t very nice to you, and it’s because of Holly.”
“Girlfriend?”
Levi gives me a sideways look and shakes his head. “No, definitely not. I only met her when they showed up tonight. I knew they were up to somethin' though because they rarely bring people over.”
“They’re your friends; they’re looking out for you.”
He laughs. “Sarah likes to meddle. She used to be friends with Iris… it’s a long story, but the four of us have been friends since high school.”
“They didn’t seem too upset that Iris had died.” Levi looks at me quickly and turns away. “I’m sorry that was out of line. I just thought… well, I don’t know.”
“You’re not out of line, Zara. Sarah came out to LA for the funeral, but relationships were strained, and they’ve been trying to get me to move on since Iris walked out. They were likely here to cheer me up. Not that I need it,” he says, giving me a wink.
“Do you need cheering up?” I hedge.
“No, but I need to apologize for earlier,” he tells me while shaking his head. “I got a little lost in my head.”
“Why?”
Levi picks up my hand, interlocking our fingers. He holds them up so that they glow next to the fire.
“I like you, Zara. I can’t explain it, but when I think about how different our worlds are I wonder—“
“Wonder if we’d survive?”
“Something like that.” He sighs.
Changing the way I’m sitting, I turn to face him but do so in a way that we’re still holding hands. “I like you, too, Levi. None of it makes sense. You’re not my type; I’m not sure we have anything in common. Our jobs, while the same are completely different. And I’m damaged. I don’t know if I can trust anyone, and yet all I could think about today was how I wanted to kiss you.”
“I’m glad that you did.” He smiles and brings the back of my hand to his mouth where he presses a kiss.
“I am too, except for what happened when we came back here. That had me thinking that I made a mistake, that because we’re so different that it’s a turn off to you.”
“There isn’t a single thing about you that is a turn-off, Zara.”
Everything in me is screaming that I hop over the arms of the chair and climb into his lap, but I did that today and didn’t like the aftermath. Not that I expected Levi to drop his pants and go to town, but I expected… something, anything like the tour he promised me that could’ve ended up in his bedroom for a sweet make-out session. Levi watches me, waiting for me to crack or run. I don’t want to. I may not be thinking clearly most of the time, but I do know this. I like Levi Austin and want to see where things can go between us.
Before I can make up my mind on what to do, he slowly pulls my beanie off and runs his fingers through my hair. “How about that tour I promised you earlier?”
“I’d like that,” I tell him right before his lips touch mine.
Chapter 20
Levi
The desire I have been feeling for Zara increases each and every time she’s near. Never mind the reaction I have when we’re holding hands, or I’m lucky enough to steal a kiss or two from her. I’m torn with the idea of staying outside by the fire or finally giving the tour that I have promised her. Both have potential rewards of getting closer to her, along with the nagging fear that neither of us is in a position to pursue anything. I do not relish the thought that I’m a rebound, but I’d be a fool to think otherwise, which makes the idea of sitting by the fire more appealing because nothing can happen here. Inside, everything can happen, and that’s what I want.
I want to know Zara, to learn what turns her on and find out what makes her happy or mad. I should know what makes her smile so that when I see her down, I know how to make her day better. Not that I plan to ever piss her off, but I’d make a conscious effort to avoid those situations.
Every kiss we share is slow building, causing me to fight the urge to pull her onto my lap and push my fingers through her hair. The only things separating us are the arms of the chairs, making everything we do awkward and clumsy. It’s safer this way, the gap between our bodies, because I don’t know what I’ll do if I have her pressed against me again. Earlier, it was pure torture riding Night back with an erection. Each trot caused the sa
ddle to jab into my hard on, making the ride almost unbearable. In fact, I’m not convinced I didn’t do any damage and that’s another reason Zara and I can’t take this inside. What if I’m broken? Except I’m not and I know that because my buddy is rising to the occasion, ready for some action.
The fire continues to burn much like the heated sensation that moves through my body each time Zara leans over and kisses my neck, cheek, or nips at my ear. Her intentions are clear while mine are still murky even though I return each sentiment. I can’t have her thinking that I’m not interested because I am, without a doubt ready to take her into my bedroom and show her the differences between a cowboy and a rocker. Right now it feels like we’ve known each other for weeks, months even, and not less than a week. Even with those feelings, I am still hesitant to push her for more even though it’s what I want. I need her to be sure; to not have any doubt in her mind that she wants to pursue something with me.
Very little words are exchanged between us as we watch the red embers glow underneath the night sky. Every so often there will be the howl of a coyote or a rustling in the woods from who knows what. I don’t bother to tell her that there are bears out there or snakes. That conversation will have to happen later before I leave to go back and get Willow, which I need to tell Zara about.
“How about that tour, Levi?” she suggests, but that’s not what I hear. Instead, I hear her soft, seductive voice asking me to take her to bed, to show her body the love it’s been lacking.
“Okay,” I say as I stand and make my way to the bonfire. I bat it down as much as I can and pour the bucket of water I have sitting nearby. It’s not nearly enough to put it out, and I find myself refilling it three times before there isn’t any sign of red. “I’ll have to check on this before we go to bed.” The words are out of my mouth before I realize my mistake. I never meant to imply that we were going together, not that I’d tell her no. I rather like the idea of having her in my bed pressed up against me. Even if we only sleep, having her there would be a welcomed reprieve from the loneliness I feel at night.
