I rang the doorbell but Mike didn’t answer. “Doesn’t look like he’s home, Muff.”
I’d turned to walk down the stairs when I heard Mike’s voice. He was walking up the steps and talking to someone. When he got to the landing and saw me standing in front of the door, he stopped so abruptly that Angela, his ex-girlfriend, who was apparently back, bumped into him.
“Hi, Scarlett. I didn’t know you were coming.”
Muffin leaped out of my arms and ran to Mike. “Hey, girl. I missed you, too.” Mike reached down to pet her.
“Muffin and I just wanted to drop off your book.” I held it up.
Angela stepped out from behind him. “Hi, Scarlett. Thanks for taking such good care of Mike. Now it’s my turn. Right, honey?”
Mike sighed. “I told you I’ve arranged for help.”
Angela waved her hand. “Nonsense. I can do it.”
“Well, Muff and I had better go. Jake and Steve are coming over.”
Mike furrowed his brows. “Jake, as in your high-school boyfriend Jake?”
I nodded. “I guess I didn’t tell you Shonna and I caught up with him and his husband in LA. They’re visiting Jake’s parents. His dad isn’t doing well.”
I picked up Muffin. “Mike, call if you need anything.”
“Thanks, but I’ll be fine.”
“I’ll make sure he’s fine,” Angela said.
Mike didn’t seem too excited about Angela taking care of him. She was more high-maintenance than the vintage sports car he’d bought that always seemed to be in the garage. It was hard to imagine her caring for anyone other than herself. I figured seeing Mike at his absolute worst would make or break their relationship. I couldn’t imagine her cleaning up after Mike. My guess is he couldn’t either.
I dropped Muffin off at home and decided to hit the gym. I thought I’d spend more time at Mike’s, but seeing as that hadn’t happened, I had time to work out before Jake and Steve arrived.
Renee waved as I walked to the treadmill. Her legs were flying on the elliptical. I took off running on the treadmill and thirty minutes later slowed down to a fast walk.
Renee walked up. “You go, girl!”
I smiled, still trying to catch my breath.
“I remember when you first started. You’ve come so far, Scarlett.”
“Thanks.” I slowed down the pace, starting to cool down.”
Renee jumped on the treadmill beside me and we walked together.
“How are things going with Peter?”
“We had dinner last night. I’m not going to lie. I like him a lot. To be honest, I’m a bit scared. I think I like him more than I should.”
“Do you think he likes you as much as you like him?” Renee asked.
“I don’t know. Guess I’ll just have to see what happens.”
Renee took a sip from her water bottle. “I’ve started dating someone, too.”
I glanced over. “Anyone I know?”
“We met here. He joined about a month ago. Transferred to the area from out of state. We just started talking one day and haven’t stopped.”
“Good for you. What is it about a gym that brings people together?”
“I think it’s because we’re like-minded. Definitely better than picking someone up in a bar.”
“Agree.”
“Let me know when you want me to take your measurements. I checked and we haven’t done it in a while.”
I stopped the treadmill. “How about the next time I come in? I’d shower and stay, but I have plans tonight and need to get home.”
Later that night, I gave Jake and Steve the grand tour.
“I absolutely love your place,” Jake said. “And I love the space for the coffee shop.”
I poured us wine and we sat down in the living room. I picked up my junior-high yearbook. I’d dug it out earlier and laid it on the coffee table.
Jake held up his hand. “Oh, no!”
“Oh, yes!” Steve laughed.
I handed it to Steve and he looked at the pages I’d marked with paper clips showing Jake’s class photo, one of him on the basketball court and another on the baseball field. I also handed him the bag of photos I’d found in the basement of me and Jake.
Steve held up a prom photo. “You did make a cute couple.”
“Thanks… I think,” Jake said.
I turned to Jake. “So, you haven’t talked much about your dad.”
Jake shook his head. “It’s not good. He has pancreatic cancer and it’s terminal.”
“I’m so sorry, Jake.”
“It’s tough seeing your dad, who once resembled a defensive lineman, become so thin and weak.”
Steve patted Jake on the back.
“Were you able to make amends?” I knew from what Jake and Steve had told me in California that his dad had not accepted his being gay.
Jake took a deep breath. “I tried, but he’s a stubborn old man.”
I mashed my lips together. “I’m sorry.”
“Me, too. But I can’t make him love me. I can’t make him accept me. I spent the first half of my life trying to be someone I wasn’t to please him and I was miserable. I told him I loved him and said what I needed to say.”
I nodded. “That’s all you can do, Jake. The rest is up to him.”
“Would you do me a favor, Scarlett?”
“Sure.”
“Would you keep in touch with Mom? Maybe pop in to see her once in a while? You were always one of her favorites.”
“Absolutely.”
“She might even enjoy helping you with the coffee shop and boutique. She loved working in the department store back in the day. It might do her good to get out of the house a couple hours a week.”
“I’ll definitely keep that in mind. If I can’t find a job where I can work remotely in the evenings from home, I’ll need to hire someone to run the business during the day.”
“What type of work are you looking for, Scarlett?” Steve asked.
“Pretty much anything. Marketing, bookkeeping.”
“I’ll keep an eye open,” Steve said.
“Thanks. I appreciate that.”
That night, after Jake and Steve left, I thought about his dad and how sad it was that the one thing Jake wanted most was something he might never have – his dad’s acceptance. Why do we spend so much of our lives trying to please other people? Be what they want us to be? I was glad that Jake, with Steve’s help, was finally at peace with the person he was. Even if his dad was not.
Chapter 31
I looked over at David and he flashed me the thumbs-up. I couldn’t have imagined being at the starting line of a race several months ago. A lot had happened since I walked into the gym, three sizes bigger, wearing large sweats and a baggy shirt.
I touched my racing bib. Number 1084. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves. For the past few days, I’d worried. Would I be able to finish the race? Had I trained hard enough? David told me not to panic, that pre-racing nerves were normal. He said he still got them and he’d run more than a dozen races.
“Remember, Mom…” David whispered. “There’ll always be runners who start too fast. Don’t worry about them. Go your planned pace and you’ll be fine.”
I knew David was right. I definitely didn’t want to go out too fast and expend too much energy in the first few miles and crash and burn toward the end.
The starting buzzer sounded and the runners took off, leaving me in the back of the pack. And while a part of me wanted to go faster, I reminded myself that this was not a 5K but a 10K. I focused on my breathing and keeping my head, neck and shoulders relaxed. I reminded myself to swing my arms like a pendulum from my shoulders. I could no longer see David and I was sure he was probably a mile ahead, but I just kept going, my feet striking the asphalt with short, quick strides.
The route was lined with people shouting.
“Keep going!”
/> “You’re doing great!”
“Don’t give up!”
“You’re almost there!”
“Good job, runners!”
I smiled. I hadn’t considered myself a runner. But here I was, in a sea of others, racing toward the finish line. I saw it ahead and I could hear David’s voice coming from the side. “Go, Mom! You’re almost there! You’re going to make it!”
As I crossed the finish line, tears filled my eyes. I’d done it. I’d accomplished something I never thought I could and was one step closer to my ultimate goal of completing a marathon.
I saw Peter emerge from the crowd gathered at the finish line and my hand flew to my heart. I’d mentioned the race a time or two, but I never expected him to remember, let alone come.
“Congratulations, Scarlett! You did it!” Peter smiled.
“Thanks.”
David walked over and handed me a bottle of water. “You did great, Mom.”
I introduced Peter and David and they walked with me as I cooled down, stretching my muscles. Calves, quads, hamstrings.
“Would you like to join Mom and me tonight for a celebration dinner?” David asked Peter.
Peter looked at me and I knew he wouldn’t accept David’s invite if I didn’t give him a sign of approval.
“Are you sure I won’t be intruding?”
“No, we’d love to have you. In fact, I’m taking David to Bella’s. I’m sure I can add another to the reservation.”
Shonna called when I got home from the race. “How was it?”
“I finished!”
“YAY, you! I knew you would.”
“And guess who was waiting for me at the end of the race?”
“David.”
“Besides him.”
“Peter.”
“Yes. And I had no idea he was coming. David invited him to our celebration dinner tonight.”
“I can’t wait to meet this guy,” Shonna said.
“I think you’ll like him.”
“I think so, too.”
That afternoon, I felt exhausted. After talking to Tory and Mom and Dad, I lay down while David went to visit Mike. Mike was in the middle of another round of chemo and, as expected, Angela hadn’t lasted a week. I felt sorry for Mike about Angela, but I was pretty sure he’d known that’s how it would end up. I reached out to him about staying with me, but he refused.
I slept until my cell phone alarm went off two hours later, just as David was returning home. I walked downstairs. “How’s your dad?”
David sighed. “Man, Mom. He looks so tired and old. And he seems even thinner than he was yesterday.”
I listened as David told me about his visit.
“Do you think he’ll get better, Mom?”
“I do, David. His prognosis is good.”
Dinner at the restaurant was just as great as the time before. We drank a couple bottles of wine and fell into easy conversation. I was happy Peter and David got along so well. They had a lot in common. They both loved history and baseball and a good craft beer.
“So what’s next on your list, Mom?” David asked.
I sipped my wine. “It’s a secret.”
“Oh, come on,” David said. “How can I help you if I don’t know what’s next?”
“It’s not something you can help me with,” I said.
David nodded. “Okay then, but if you succeed, you’ll let me know, right?”
“Absolutely. You’ll be among the first to know.”
A Year Later
I pulled out my list, which I’d carried with me over the past year. It looked like it’d been to battle and back. I laid the crumpled paper on the table, smoothing it out as best I could. It was ripped at the middle crease and contained several ink smudges. I glanced over the items, smiling at how many I’d accomplished. Dad handed me a pen, and I crossed out the last one, then folded the paper and tucked it away. I never would’ve believed I’d be standing where I was today, about ready to walk down the aisle on my dad’s arm for the second time.
Peter proposed to me eight months after we started dating. I can’t begin to describe what having him in my life has meant to me. I’ve never felt so loved or wanted or needed. While all our children supported our relationship, it took several months for them to adjust. Tory and David had secretly hoped Mike and I would get back together some day. And while Peter’s daughters were happy for him, they, too, had to get used to seeing me in his arms instead of their mother.
Mike was in a better place. He’d won his battle with cancer and had started dating someone his own age. I liked her a lot, and she’d been good for him.
It wasn’t a completely happy ending. Mom passed away suddenly in her sleep a few months ago. I’m trying to convince Dad to move in with Peter and me, but he’s not ready to leave the warmth of Florida and the many friends he’s made just yet.
When I told Peter I was going to make a new list, he had a suggestion. “Let’s make one together.” So we did.
Tonight, when we’re alone, we’ll cross off the first item.
I inhaled deeply and exhaled, touching the delicate butterfly necklace Peter had given me for my fiftieth birthday. I looked up at Dad and he smiled. “Are you ready?” he asked. I nodded and we entered the church, following Tory and Shonna.
I couldn’t keep my tears at bay as I walked past Jake and Steve, James and Renee, and so many others who had been with me on this journey. When I stood at the front of the church with Peter and looked out at the pews lined with family and friends, I knew I was exactly where I was supposed to be. I was flying.
The End
Loved A Year of Second Chances?
Then turn the page for an extract from
OUR FRAGILE HEARTS
Prologue
Mary
June 30, 1957
I hate Mother. I hate Father. They’re sending me away. They said I brought shame to the family, that no decent man will want me. They have forbidden me to see Teddy. He doesn’t know I’m carrying his child. He thinks I don’t love him. My life is over.
Love, Mary Katherine
***
I lay in my hospital bed trying to remember. I remembered the cold, sterile delivery room and the doctors and nurses dressed in white and wearing masks. I remembered seeing the delivery table and the bassinet, the sterile towels and drapes and rubber gloves. I even remembered seeing the scissors and string the doctor would use to tie my baby’s umbilical cord.
But I didn’t remember seeing my baby.
I didn’t even know if I’d had a boy or a girl. The nurse had given me something for my pain, and when I woke up I was in this hospital room with another mother who had given birth to a stillborn. I listened to her cry for the child she’d lost. And she listened to me cry for the child I had but would never see.
My baby was in someone else’s arms. My father, who was an attorney, had arranged a private adoption. “You shamed our family,” he’d said. “Your baby is a bastard.”
So he sent me away to a strange place in a strange town where no one knew me and few, except for the other “troubled girls,” cared.
I was alone and sad and I wondered if I’d ever see Teddy again. Probably not after writing the letter my father had forced me to write. Father even read the letter afterward to make sure it said what he’d dictated. I was certain Teddy would hate me forever.
I heard my mother’s voice before I saw her. She was coming to take me home. I’d been in the hospital for days waiting for her.
“How’s Mary Katherine today?” She walked over and kissed my cheek as if she were greeting me after a week at church camp.
My chin wobbled and I could feel tears gathering in the corners of my eyes. “How could you?”
A flurry of emotion ripped through my broken body and I shook uncontrollably as I sobbed.
Mother patted my back, but her hand felt as hard as the wooden paddle she used on me when I m
isbehaved as a child. “It’s all over now. Everything will be fine. You’ll see.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Nothing will ever be fine, Mother. I wish I was dead.”
“Oh, now, Mary Katherine. You don’t mean that.”
I slammed my hand into the bed. “Stop telling me how I feel. You have no idea how I feel. You made me give up my baby.”
Mother sighed. “You can always have another one.”
I felt my anger boil in the pit of my stomach and it inched its way up and exploded in fits and bursts from my mouth. “I don’t want another one. I wanted this one.”
“Well, she’s gone.”
Tears stung my eyes and my mouth dropped open. “I had a daughter?”
Mother mashed her ruby lips together. “I don’t know if the baby was a boy or a girl.”
She was lying. I could tell by the red blotchiness spreading over her narrow neck. I had a daughter. And I knew that for the rest of my life, everywhere I went I’d look for her.
Would she have my blonde hair and blue eyes? Or Teddy’s dark hair and dark eyes?
I blew my nose into the tissues Mother had handed me. “Did he come?”
Mother shook her head. “Your father was too busy.”
“He’s always been too busy for me.”
“Now, Mary Katherine. You know your father cares about you.”
“Stop it. Stop making excuses for him. He’s never been anything but mean to me my entire life. And he’s been mean to you, too.”
Mother’s hand flew to her heart. “You don’t know what you’re saying. Stop. It’s not true.”
“It is, too. I’ve heard you crying at night when you think I’m asleep. I’ve seen the bruises on your arms and legs. He’s a tyrant and I hate him more than I’ve ever hated anyone.”
“He let me have you,” Mother said. “And a good family will get your baby and provide a wonderful life for her, just like I provided for you.”
“Yes, and just like me my baby will wonder why her birth mother didn’t want her. What kind of person gives their baby away to a total stranger?”
“A young girl who has her whole life ahead of her,” Mother said. “You know, it takes a lot of courage to give up your child.”
A Year of Second Chances Page 21
