Scanner Kidz

by R M Scotford

  “Wow! You see colour when you hold everyone’s hand? That’s cool. What colour am I?” Kimiko asked.

  “I don’t see just colours, I see pictures too. Maggie, your colour is silver, Douggie is obviously yellow, and Jimmy is blue.”

  “AND ME?” Kimiko shouted. She held out her thin arm.

  Maximus took hold of Kimiko’s hand.

  “Wow, you like drawing a lot don’t you?”

  Kimiko looked shocked.

  “How could you know that? We’ve only just met.”

  Maximus smiled.

  “I don’t know, I can just see it in my mind. Your colour is... pink.”

  Kimiko beamed. Her favourite colour was pink. Maximus grabbed Abu’s hand.

  “Abu, your colour is white.”

  “White,” complained Abu. “Why am I white? I want to be red.”

  “Your colour is white. I’m not making this up. When I hold your hand I see white, not red.” Maximus said forcefully.

  Abu was not impressed.

  “I’m not white. It’s boring. It’s not even a colour.”

  Maximus shrugged his shoulders and spoke to everyone.

  “We’re all super kids, I promise.”

  By talking about colours, Maximus had calmed everyone down. It wasn’t a trick either, when he held another person’s hand and cleared his mind of thoughts a colour would flash up representing that person.

  “Anyone can do it,” he added. “I don’t even think it’s that much of a superpower.”

  “Will you teach me how to see people’s colours?” asked Kimiko.

  “Of course,” Maximus said, smiling. “Just try it, it’s easy.”

  Finally, the children all agreed to trust Maximus and let Jimmy into the gang.

  A Monstrous Miracle

  Grenwold flicked through his tool set and began to adjust a tiny servo in the robot’s neck.

  “There seems to be a problem with the transducer diode switching mechanism. It seems to be shutting the K-BOT models down.”

  “Meaning what, Grenwold?” Nurse Hobbs hissed.

  “Meaning,” Grenwold pondered, “that I’ll have to tune the nano-pulse octimeter to a different frequency, so that the internal life optimizer can reset itself if the micro-stem dilator overheats, which leads to the transducer diode switch tripping. It’s an elementary problem. I’m quite surprised I didn’t see it before.” Grenwold smiled as the answer to the K-BOT problem became clear.

  “So, they will work?” Nurse Hobbs demanded.

  “My dear, I’ll do my best, but these are highly sophisticated machines operating in a multi-tasking environment. The chances of malfunction are significantly higher considering the tremendous demands that you’re putting on their CPU’s. Kiddy care is no simple task. Each model needs the eyes of a hawk, the strength of a bear, the cunning of a fox, the intelligence of-”

  “Yes, yes, yes, Grenwold. I know all this, but will they work?” Nurse Hobbs was growing more impatient.

  “Well let’s see, shall we?” Grenwold ushered his colossal wife out of the way.

  “Stand clear, and remember to press record on the video recorder this time, dearest. It is essential that we record as much data as we can once I’ve made the adjustment and she gets started again.”

  Nurse Hobbs stepped back and took hold of the camera. She pressed her fat, sausage-shaped finger on the record button. Through the camera’s viewfinder, she watched Grenwold make the last adjustments and tinker with Brigitte’s head.

  “Ok, stand clear,” Grenwold announced. “She’s coming back to life.”

  Nurse Hobbs focused the lens and watched.

  “This had better work, Grenwold. The Kiddy-Care Convention is in two weeks. It will be our only chance to load up the detonation software. Everything is ready. I’m waiting for YOU, Grenwold.”

  “Yes, yes, yes, my dearest. I think I might just have just solved it this time. Look, look, she’s starting to move.” Grenwold pointed excitedly at Brigitte. Within seconds, she was on her feet and dusting down her pink apron.

  “An exploding army at my finger tips,” Nurse Hobbs gasped. “Are you sure she’s all right?” she snapped at Grenwold.

  “Yes, yes,” Grenwold replied, “she seems a little twitchy and disorientated at the moment, but she’ll be fine. They’ll all be fine, now. Your army will be ready my dearest.” He smiled uncomfortably. “I’m sure they’ll be devastating.”

  Nurse Hobbs kept her finger on the record button of the camcorder as she went through her world domination plan one more time.

  “So it’s all set then. The annual Kiddy-Care Convention will be the day that my army of pink K-BOTS get their final piece of software?” Nurse Hobbs asked.

  “Yes, yes my dearest, I’m sure it will be quite a day,” Grenwold replied.

  CLICK

  The video camera clicked once more and stopped. Nurse Hobbs had spent so long talking about her world domination plan that the CD had finished. She placed the camcorder on the desk and pulled out the disc.

  “Where shall I put this?” she asked.

  “Next to the other security files, I’ll review it later,” Grenwold said, all the while his attention on the jittery K-BOT.

  Nurse Hobbs threw the disc carelessly onto the untidy desk before waddling off to get a juicy ham sandwich with lashings of hot English mustard for lunch.

  Superpowers

  Jimmy couldn’t believe his eyes as he watched the other children show off their powers. He was astonished; they weren’t just crazy. Douggie showed everyone his amazing skills at football. He first impressed everyone with what he could do with his feet and a football. After that, he showed them what he could do with his mind and a football. Everyone was speechless, except Jimmy,

  “Wow, Douggie, you should play for the National team, they need YOU, dude.”

  Douggie blushed and thanked Jimmy.

  Maximus was eager to take part in the showboating of superpowers. His chalk shooting trick was a real hit with Kimiko, Abu and Jimmy. The others were not so impressed, seeing as he had shot chalk at them only a few days earlier. As the afternoon passed, Kimiko felt a little anxious that she didn’t belong in the gang fully because she couldn’t show anyone any particular power. She tried to reassure everyone that she had special powers,

  “I’m really good at drawing. I can draw pictures of all of you if you want? I’m also good at breaking electrical equipment with my mind. Do you want me to show you?”

  Maggie reassured Kimiko that no one had any doubts about Kimiko’s powers and there was no need for her to demonstrate them, especially after Douggie described in great detail how she destroyed the TV shop and most of the street.

  “Yeah,” shouted Abu. “I remember seeing that on the news. They said it was a power surge of electricity in the television shop. That was you? Cool.”

  When Douggie finished the story everyone clapped, and Kimiko felt full and light headed from all the attention. Jimmy looked at all the children with a new appreciation. No one would ever suspect that these kids could do such stuff. It was a cool gang to be in. Even Abu, his best mate for so long, had superpowers. Jimmy thought back to the fire in the Chunky Chicken restaurant. That wasn’t a red-hot sandwich that they’d given him; it was Abu not controlling his super, white, hot powers properly. Jimmy chuckled to himself. It had been quite an unexpected afternoon for him. Not only had he made some new friends, but they said that he was a super kid too. Jimmy wondered what his powers might be. To be truly honest, Jimmy knew that he didn’t have superpowers but if the other kids thought he had them that was fine by him. He walked over to Maximus and quietly asked him more about what he’d seen when he had held his hand.

  “Well, I didn’t see you actually do anything,” Maximus whispered. “It was more like a feeling, and the feeling was very blue.”

  “So do I have superpowers or not?” Jimmy asked, trying hard not to let any other of the children hear.

  “I don’t know. Do you?” qu
izzed Maximus.

  Jimmy’s face filled with disappointment,

  “I don’t know. It was you that said I did.” He was upset.

  Maximus tried to reassure him, “Don’t worry. Most of the time I feel just like a normal kid, but sometimes I can touch things that give me a special energy, then I know that I’m different. For me, if I touch chalk or drink milk it gives an energy boost. So I think that I may be sensitive to calcium. Do you know what calcium is?”

  Jimmy nodded.

  “So maybe, Jimmy, you should look for things that are blue and your powers may start.” Maximus nodded. It felt good that other children were interested in his advice.

  “What colour blue was it?” Jimmy was very serious.

  “Erm, it was a nice blue — like a deep blue sea.” Maximus nodded and smiled.

  Behind them the other children were talking about going home, it was getting late.

  “Don’t tell anyone,” Jimmy pleaded.

  “Relax, Jimmy. It’ll be ok. I’m rarely wrong,” Maximus said, confidently.

  Blue Ninja Kid

  Jimmy frantically rummaged around his house trying to find anything blue. Despite Jimmy saying he liked the colour blue he was surprised to find that there was a lack of anything blue in his house, especially blue objects that looked like a ‘deep sea.’

  “How annoying,” he screamed. “This must be the most un-blue house in the neighbourhood.” It was no wonder his superpowers hadn’t started. “I bet my parents know I’m supposed to be a super hero and are trying to keep me as a normal kid. It would be so like them to stifle my potential!”

  Jimmy made his mind up that from that moment on he would surround himself with blue objects. He reached to the very back of the cupboard and pulled out two blue, plastic beakers, “Yes.” From now on he would only drink out of these cups. He threw them to one side and continued his search. After turning the house upside down for the whole afternoon, Jimmy laid out all his blue booty on the bed.

  Two blue beakers

  A blue vase

  An old set of blue pyjamas (two sizes too small)

  A blue plastic bin

  Some sort of blue kitchen utensil

  A blue balaclava

  A blue picture frame (20cm x 10cm)

  Jimmy held onto the two plastic cups and imagined his dormant powers rushing through his veins and igniting every atom in his body. He pushed hard with his mind.

  “Think blue,” he said to himself. “A deep, blue sea.”

  He pushed even harder, trying to squeeze out every last drop of blue superpower-concentration but only managed to squeak out a small, stinky fart. It wasn’t working. He needed more blue. There simply wasn’t enough to get his powers kick-started. Quickly he jumped out of his clothes and pulled on the old blue pyjamas. The tight blue top was too small to cover his podgy, white belly and the trousers were at half-mast up his legs. Jimmy loved these PJs, and had never wanted to throw them away; now he knew why. Jimmy jumped in front of the mirror in his room.

  “Super — POWERS!” he yelled.

  Actually he thought he looked a bit stupid, but Maximus had said that blue was his superpower colour and he’d also said that he was rarely wrong. Jimmy examined his tubby gut in the mirror.

  “Wow. How did that get so big? Too much Chunky Chicken,” he smirked.

  He reached across to the bed and grabbed the balaclava, pulled it onto his head and dived in front of the mirror while chopping the air. “The blue ninja man,” he shouted at the top of his voice. Maybe he had super blue Kung Fu powers? He gave the air a few deadly sweeps with his hands,

  “Super-blue Karate chop. Super-blue Kung Fu kick.”

  Jimmy’s arms and legs flew everywhere as he danced in front of the mirror. It was no good; nothing was happening. Maybe he needed a fighting partner? Jimmy rushed out of his room and judo rolled into his older sister’s room. Her room had a big teddy bear; which was almost the same size as him. The bear sat innocently in the corner; unaware of the pounding it was about to receive. Jimmy flew through the air and smacked the unfortunate bear in the nose,

  “Karate chop.”

  It slipped onto its side.

  “Kung Fu kick!”

  Jimmy buried his foot in the bear’s soft, brown face. He leaped onto it and fixed it in a headlock.

  “Super blue head butt.”

  Jimmy planted a kick between its eyes. He increased the intensity of his attack and blitzed the bear with a barrage of special moves. He was whipping himself up into a ‘super-blue’ frenzy as he boxed the teddy’s ears. Behind him, the bedroom door swung open. Jimmy’s teenage sister Kate and her two best friends Shauna and Angelina walked into the room.

  “JIMMY! What are you doing in my room?”

  Kate was fourteen and hated everything about Jimmy, even looking at him made her angry. Jimmy jumped up off the pulverized bear and pulled off his blue balaclava, his usually neat- combed hair stuck out from his head like an electrocuted cat.

  “Erh nothing... I was just looking for something,” Jimmy said, blushing.

  Behind Kate, the two other girls were trying hard not laugh. Jimmy felt like such a dork, standing there in front of the girls in his minuscule baby, blue pyjamas. He tried to pull the tiny top over his milky, white belly but it was much too small.

  “GET OUT,” screamed Kate. “GET OUT.”

  Jimmy ducked his head and ran out of Kate’s room before he got a slap from his sister or died of humiliation. As he slammed the door of his room shut, he heard the girls burst into shrieks of laughter.

  Marg and PowerMan

  Douggie ambled along the sidewalk, daydreaming, while his brother Stanley buzzed around his feet like a demented honeybee. Things were so easy for three-year-old Stanley; he didn’t care about anything. His day was consumed with acting like a goof and eating. Douggie wished that he was three years old again.

  Yesterday in the park had been such a great day. There were five kids who were just like him, and they all seemed to get on fairly well. A few weeks ago this would have been more than he could have dreamt of, but Douggie didn’t feel happy at all. He felt empty.

  He had tried to raise the question why they had such powers and what they should do with them, but no one was interested. Maybe it was him? Maybe he thought about things too much? The last thing, Maggie said to him before they left the park had really bothered him,

  “Take a chill pill, Douggie. Stop worrying so much.”

  Maybe she was right. Maybe he just needed to chill right out. Maggie was comfortable with the gang so as long as she was the centre of attention and controlling things. Douggie smiled to himself again. Maggie was such a bossy boots, but he liked her for it. It was a great gang, and Douggie had already thought of a cool name for it, but the more he thought about it, the more he was convinced that their superpowers had to be put to good use and not wasted doing stupid stunts. As much as he would have liked to, there was no chance of him ever using his powers to play international football.

  Douggie hardly noticed the walk and was surprised when Stanley started bouncing up and down to try and open the Kiddy-Care Centre doors. Before Douggie could open the door, Angela the new nursery teacher appeared and scooped Stanley up in her arms. Angela had replaced Brigitte who was sick or something. The Kiddy-Care Centre changed staff all the time; teachers would be there one day and gone the next. Little kids hated changing teachers. Stanley had been especially upset about Brigitte leaving. He kept telling Douggie that his teacher’s head had fallen off. Douggie found it really funny. Small children had crazy thoughts.

  As usual, the Kiddy-Care Centre was mayhem. Douggie tried to get Angela’s attention but she had walked off with Stanley. Finally, he managed to grab the attention of Marg, the centre’s cleaner who had worked there for years. She’d been the cleaner here when Douggie was small too, but it wasn’t called Kiddy-Care then, it was called Fun-Time or something. Douggie grabbed Marg’s arm, making her jump.

  “Marg, my m
um asked me to pick up Stanley’s ‘PowerMan’ DVD. Do you know where it is?”

  Marg held her hand against her chest.

  “Goodness, Douggie, you gave me a proper fright. I’m too old to be scarein’. You’ll have me popping me clogs if you sneak up on me like that.”

  Douggie rolled his eyes. Marg was always exaggerating. She wasn’t going to kick the bucket just yet.

  “The DVD, Marg. Do you know where they’re kept? I can find it myself. It’s no bother,” Douggie suggested.

  “Of course, me dear, they’re all in the main office. Now run along and get it yourself. I’m too busy to breathe right now.”

  Douggie shook his head again. Marg was as nutty as a squirrel’s fart.

  The inside of the main Kiddy-Care office was a total mess. It looked as though a gang of marauding baboons had ransacked it. There was paper, pens, cassettes and DVDs everywhere. Douggie scanned around to see if he could see his brother’s PowerMan movie. He rummaged through a pile of discs. They seemed to be security discs or something. Suddenly he noticed a bright coloured box on the floor. It was the PowerMan box. Lying next to it was a CD. It had obviously popped out when the box had been knocked on the floor. Douggie picked up the CD and replaced it into the PowerMan box. He threw the box in his bag and left the kindergarten.

  Joke

  Maggie picked up the phone and dialed the number. It rang once, then twice, then a third time. Finally, someone answered,

  “Hi, this is Douggie Harrison.”

  “Hi Douggie,” said Maggie. “I just wanted to ask you a question.”

  Douggie sighed,

  “What is it, Maggie?”

  Maggie giggled,

  “Where would you find a dog with no legs?”

  “I have no idea, Maggie, where would I find a dog with no legs?”

  Maggie burst out laughing,

  “Wherever you left him.”

  Douggie chuckled. It was almost funny.

  “Goodnight, Maggie.”

  “Will I see you tomorrow at Maximus’ house for the gang meeting?”