A Cowboy's Heart (Hitting Rocks Cowboys)

by Rebecca Winters

  She walked over to the other stall and walked Polly around for a little while before heading for the truck to go home. The trailer was like an empty tomb without Connor. After her shower she went straight to bed with the remote and turned on another rerun of Keeping Up Appearances.

  In this one, Daisy had run away from her sister’s house and needed to be found. Normally Liz would be laughing her head off, but not tonight. Dissolving into tears, she turned off the TV and buried her face in the pillow.

  She slept late. While she fixed herself some cereal, her first thought was to phone Connor and make sure he was all right. But, if she did that, she’d be interrupting him and Reva.

  If Liz could just apologize for what she’d said to him yesterday, maybe then she’d be able to get through two more nights of competition and not fall apart. For years she’d had the ability to compartmentalize her personal and professional lives. Not this time.

  Wade’s knock on the trailer door had her rushing to answer it. “I was just about to call you. Have you talked to Connor today? Is he all right?”

  His friend eyed her steadily. “When I left his hotel room a little while ago, he looked in pretty good shape.”

  No mention of Reva, no mention of which hotel. Liz found it difficult to breathe. “Thank goodness.”

  “Yup. He asked me to check up on you.” That made her heart flip-flop. “If you don’t like sleeping in the trailer alone, he hopes you’ll go to a hotel and has asked me to take care of you.”

  Pain cut her to the quick. “Both of you have enough on your minds without worrying about me. I got a good sleep last night and intend to hang out here until finals are over. Once my parents fly in with Jarod and Sadie tomorrow, we’ll figure everything out to get the rig and the horses back to Montana.”

  “I’ll tell him what you said. Do you want to go to lunch with me and Kim?”

  “That’s very nice, but I’m eating breakfast now and plan to stay here until it’s time to drive to the center and take a little ride on Sunflower.” It was nearing the end of the ten-day competition. She didn’t want to wear out her horse.

  He nodded. “Connor told me to tell you good luck tonight, but he knows you won’t need it because you light your own fires.”

  She’d done that, all right, when her mouth had run away with her yesterday. He might have forgiven her once, but not a second time.

  “Thanks for coming by, Wade. Thanks for everything.” She hugged him before shutting the door.

  * * *

  THE NINTH NIGHT of the NFR finals was about to begin. Connor wanted to watch it on the hotel’s big-screen TV uninterrupted. Reva had left the hotel where she’d stayed the previous night and moved to his hotel.

  She was curled up on the end of the couch to watch with him. He sat up in an upholstered chair with his arm in a sling, his feet resting on an ottoman. To his relief, simple ibuprofen was doing the job for the pain. He hated taking drugs.

  “I still don’t understand why you wouldn’t stay at the Mirage with me.”

  He thrust her a glance. “Because we’re not married, Reva.”

  “But somehow living in the close quarters of the trailer with Liz Henson is different?”

  They’d skirted certain issues last evening after he’d been released. But bringing up Liz’s name now meant she was going for the jugular. “We pooled our resources to come to the finals together. The Hensons are our neighbors and family friends.”

  “She’s more to you than that, so don’t deny it!”

  “I’m not.” I’m not.

  Those blue eyes glistened with tears. They’d always gotten to him before, but no longer. “Have you slept with her?”

  His anger flared. “Have you slept with your producer friend?”

  She averted her eyes. “I asked you first.”

  “This isn’t a game, Reva. You called me and said you wanted us to get back together. But two years have gone by. Aside from the issues that broke us up before, if you can’t be honest with me about him, where will that get us?”

  After a silence, “We’ve stopped seeing each other. Yes, there was a period where I thought I cared about him and we did have an affair, but it’s over.”

  The revelation didn’t touch him. “Why?”

  “After I stopped seeing him, I found out he’d been keeping a secret from me. Ginger told me he’s the one responsible for getting me moved to the afternoon time slot.”

  Connor knew it had to be something like that. “In other words, they’re making room for someone else on the six o’clock news.”

  “Yes. That’s like death to me.”

  “I’m sorry, Reva, very sorry. I know how much you’ve put into your career. With your track record, you have to be aware there are other networks in other cities that would grab you up in a minute.”

  She got to her feet. “If I went to work at another network, the same thing would happen because I’m not getting any younger. I’ve thought it over and want to give it up to be a wife and mother.” She eyed him hungrily. “I want to be your wife again and have your baby.”

  “You don’t want to be a wife to a cowboy.”

  “But the rodeo’s over for you now.”

  He shifted in the chair. “You just don’t get it. Forget the rodeo. Ranching’s my life. Every aspect of it, from the horses to the cattle. During our marriage you made it clear you hated that life.”

  “But a baby would—”

  “Do nothing to change your feelings,” he broke in. “You have to love that life the way I do. It’s not for everyone, as you found out. I couldn’t live in Los Angeles. It’s not what I do or who I am. I’m going to be starting up a stud farm. The ranch isn’t the place for you and your special talents in front of the camera.” He could hear Liz’s voice. “You have a unique gift not given to everyone and need to use it, Reva. We were young and thought we could make it work. It pains me that we couldn’t.”

  “So you’re saying it’s impossible for us?”

  They stared at each other. “Isn’t it? Be honest.”

  “How about you being honest. I asked you once. Now I’m going to ask you again. Have you taken Liz Henson to bed yet?”

  He took a deep breath. “No.”

  That seemed to shake her. “So she’s not the reason you don’t want to get back together?”

  “Stop trying to find a reason when we both know what it is. Our attorney defined it. Incompatibility in the truest sense of the word. But I’ll give you another reason I couldn’t have given you two years ago, because at that point I was too devastated to think.”

  “What is it?” she murmured.

  “I’m no longer in love with you.”

  Reva backed away from him. “I know.” Her voice shook. “I can tell.”

  “If you’ll be honest with yourself, you’ll admit you’re no longer in love with me, either, only the idea of it. That’s what broken dreams are all about. But I’ll treasure the memories of those early days when anything seemed possible. Time can’t take that away from us.”

  Angry color filled her cheeks. She reached for her purse and started walking toward the door. Connor got up from the chair and followed her. She turned to him. “There’s a big difference between you and me. I’m afraid I’ll never get over you. Goodbye, Connor.” She kissed his cheek before walking out into the hall.

  He watched for a minute and then closed the door. All he felt was a liberating sense of relief that, at last, this period of his life was over. And maybe he felt a little guilt, because his mind was already somewhere else. After going back to his chair, he increased the volume on the remote. The rodeo was halfway over. He’d missed the steer wrestling. Three more events until it was time for the barrel racing.

  Connor reached for the coffee he’d been drinking and finished it off
while he watched each performance. Team roping was up next. Derrick was the heeler in the Porter brothers’ duo. His aim was off tonight and he only roped one hind leg of the steer, costing them a five-second penalty. That was too bad.

  As the time grew closer to Liz’s event, his stomach muscles tightened into knots. They’d never cramped up on him this badly prior to one of his own events. Good old Wade was there, watching over her, and would keep in touch with Connor. While he sat there held in the grip of gut-wrenching nerves, his cell phone rang.

  He glimpsed Jarod’s name on the caller ID and clicked on. “If it had been anyone else phoning right now...”

  “I hear you. How are you holding up, bro?”

  “Ask me after Liz’s event is over. Is everyone with you?”

  “We’re all glued to the TV, too.”

  “She had to be upset about last night’s score. That was my fault for asking her to stay overnight with me at the hospital the night before.”

  “You mean—”

  “When I told her I didn’t want her to leave, she arranged for a cot,” Connor cut in. “That was selfish of me. She couldn’t have gotten a decent sleep on that thing.”

  “I have news for you. No one slept well last night.”

  Connor let out a heavy sigh. “If you’ve got any special Crow prayers for her...”

  “Liz doesn’t need them.”

  “You sound like your uncle when he’s looking off into a place no one else can see.”

  “All you have to do is visualize her doing what she does best and you’ll have no worries. Take care of yourself.”

  “I am. Wade and Kim have been waiting on me when Liz couldn’t.”

  “That’s good to know. We’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “Tell Grandpa I love him.” Emotion overtook him and he started to choke up. “Tell him I’m grateful for everything he’s ever done for me.”

  Jarod’s voice sounded oddly husky when he said, “He already knows, but you can tell him yourself after we get you home.”

  After we get you home?

  No way. There was only one person who was going to get him home. Sorry, Kyle.

  He clicked off to watch the last of the bareback riding, but his nerves were making him fidgety. He rubbed his scruffy jaw while he waited for the barrel racing to start.

  One of the workers rode out on the rake to groom the arena. Besides maintaining a consistent, level footing, the machine repaired and regraded the footing layer. Connor wanted everything perfect for Liz.

  The sounds of the crowd swelled as the first twelve racers clocked their times. Liz was thirteenth out. He held his breath when her name was announced. Unable to sit still, he got to his feet and moved closer to the TV. Suddenly, she hurtled out of the alley. She swished around those barrels like she was playing a seamless game of Quidditch at Hogwarts from a Harry Potter film. No extra movements.

  Sunflower was an extension of her. Elegance personified, that was Liz. His heart warmed in his chest to watch her gallop home. A huge roar went up from the crowd over her sensational score of 13.40, but no sound was as loud as his own cry of joy. She’d set the bar high for tonight’s competition.

  Dustine Hoffman was the last one out. She was a tough one to beat by anyone’s standards. Her style reminded him of a pianist who moved her whole body back and forth while she played at the keyboard. Lots of elbow and footwork. Her long hair flew behind her like a pennant. She clocked a 13.44.

  You did it, Liz.

  He couldn’t stay alone in this hotel room another second. Without hesitation he called the front desk and told them he was checking out. He asked them to send someone to carry his overnight case and to call him a taxi.

  On the way to the RV park, he asked the driver to stop at the all-night supermarket where he’d shopped with Liz before. He found some fresh-cut daisies in a vase and paid for them, along with a bag of Snickers bars. In another ten minutes he let himself inside the trailer. The driver brought in his case for him. Liz had left a light on.

  It felt so good to be home again, he didn’t care about being sling tied for the rest of the month. The faint scent of her fragrance hung in the air. When Liz got back later, another buckle would be added to their centerpiece.

  She’d left it in the middle of the table. He put the vase of flowers next to it, along with two candy bars. The rest he set on the counter. After he took another dose of antibiotic, he fixed himself a cheese-and-bologna sandwich with one hand. It was tricky, because he was right-handed, but he managed. Then he settled down on the couch to watch TV and eat.

  Wade phoned. He was higher than a kite over her win. Connor told him Reva was gone forever. The revelation was met with silence. Connor took it to mean Wade was glad for him but didn’t dare say anything.

  Connor helped him out by telling him he’d moved back to the trailer, but asked him not to tell Liz. He wanted to surprise her. They chatted for a moment about the steer wrestling. Wade informed him of Jocko’s win. “That’s good.”

  “With you out of the finals, he stands a good chance of winning the whole thing. I admit he has a lot of try,” Wade commented before they hung up. Yup. Jocko would no doubt win his first world championship.

  Since Liz had to go to the eleven o’clock buckle ceremony at the South Point before coming home, it would be a while before she walked through the door.

  It was a Friday night, so her favorite reruns ought to be on. He found the channel featuring the British comedies and discovered the show about Hyacinth would be on in five more minutes. He was curious to find out what Liz thought was so hilarious and decided to record it so they could watch it together after she returned.

  The news bored him. With time hanging heavy, he found his electric razor and went into the bathroom to do something about his beard. After two days it was driving him crazy. He was almost through when he saw Liz coming toward him looking shell-shocked. She tossed her hat and purse on a chair.

  “Connor—I didn’t know. I—I didn’t realize you were here,” she stammered.

  “Yup. I’m back.” He finished the under part of his chin before shutting the razor off.

  “But I thought you’d be staying at a hotel from now on.”

  “So you didn’t miss me and wish I’d stayed away?”

  Her brows formed a distinct frown. “I didn’t say that. Don’t put words in my mouth. I’m just surprised, that’s all.”

  “The only reason I got myself a hotel room was to give everyone a break. I could just call room service when I needed something.”

  Liz looked away from him. Maybe he was mistaken, but he thought her face had lost a little color. “You should be in bed.”

  “I’ll get there, Doctor, but since I need to sleep downstairs, do you mind spending the rest of the time in the niche?”

  “No,” she blurted. “I’ll change the sheets on both beds right now.”

  “While you do that, I’ll fix you a peanut-butter sandwich and a glass of milk. You need food after your outstanding win tonight.”

  Her chin lifted. “You saw it?”

  He nodded. “Before I left the hotel. The arena hasn’t seen a score like 13.40 in years. You’re on the verge of walking away with the whole thing. My heart was in my throat when you and Sunflower flew back to the alley.”

  A fetching smile appeared at one corner of her mouth. He’d been waiting for some sign that she was glad to see him. “So was mine. I’m afraid there’ll be no encore tomorrow night.”

  “Don’t worry. All you’ll need to do is your best. It’ll be enough.”

  “Since when did you start seeing the glass as full?”

  “Rooming with you has something to do with it. After you make the beds, we’ll celebrate your victory. Where’s your buckle?”

  “In my purse.”

/>   “Be sure to add it to our centerpiece.” Before she got out the clean linen, she took the box from her purse and put it on top of the others.

  “Daisies!” Her eyes shone. “They’re beautiful. Thank you, Connor.”

  “I wish they were roses, but no florists were open tonight. That makes four for you.”

  He fixed her a sandwich, but he couldn’t keep his eyes off her feminine lines and curves while she used the ladder to get her work done. Once the beds were made, they ate and watched TV.

  “I have one more surprise for you.”

  “You’ve done too much already.”

  “I did it for me, too.” He turned on the program.

  “You recorded Keeping Up Appearances!” The pleasure in her voice made it all worth it.

  “I want to see what’s so funny.”

  “She’s a scream, Connor.”

  Halfway through the program, he could see what she meant. Hyacinth was being chased through a field by a bull. The faces she pulled and the contortions she went through in order to extricate herself had him laughing out loud. “They should pay her to come to the arena and put on this act. It would bring the house down.”

  Their gazes met. “It really would. You’ve made this a perfect night, but you look tired. Let me help you get ready for bed.” She shot out of the chair to find him clean pajamas. In the end, he kept on the Western shirt he’d been wearing and put on the bottoms. While he was in the bathroom, she’d changed into her own nightwear. She put his medicine and water by the head of the couch. With teeth brushed and lights out, they got into their beds. He had to lie flat on his back to accommodate his sling.

  This time, she was the one who looked down on him. Those fabulous green eyes and her smile healed every wound. He knew he would have to see her every day and night and all the seconds in between for the rest of his life, or it wasn’t worth living.

  “The doctor is in. If you need me in the night, just call out.”

  Lady, you have no idea what you’ve just said.