Off the Deep End

by R. Jayne Revere

  He narrowed his eyes at her as she continued.

  “You both know I can handle myself okay in a situation. And…” She looked over at Les. “If either of you are half as good at surveillance as it sounds like you are, then you know I can pick up and go pretty quick.” She turned her accusatory gaze back on Aaron. “Since it appears you’ve both been here for a while before today.”

  Les and Aaron glanced at each other. She had definitely registered Les’s earlier remark about the timing of their arrival here.

  Aaron breathed a weary sigh as he looked back to Alex. “I didn’t expect this. I really thought I could finally… that I had put enough distance and steps between what was and…” He trailed off, his gaze darkening.

  Not foreseeing her strong reaction to what had just happened, the response in acute contrast to her more reserved personality, he was still attempting to recover. He could understand her anger though. It had been a good day. Up until a couple of hours ago. But he hadn’t anticipated being hunted again either. More great timing. That turn had come out of left field and veritably knocked him off his feet.

  Not only did he have to deal with the obvious feelings he had evoked in Alex, plus his own, he had to figure out just what exactly was going on with this bounty and who was after him. It wasn’t fair. How the hell am I gonna explain this to her?

  He shook his head. “This is serious. There’s too much you don’t know. If anything happened to you because of me—”

  “Then it’s my choice, my fault.” She stopped him, pulling hard on his jacket. “Besides, you’ve already done the damage. You came here for a reason, and I refuse to believe that it can all just be thrown away at the first sign of trouble.” Her tone softened a bit as she continued to plead her case. “After what we went through on that ship, after all that, you could have just let me go on thinking you were gone. But you didn’t.” She let go of the front of his jacket and shrugged, deep hazel scrutiny locked on him, refusing to allow any tear to fall. “Unless it really doesn’t matter that much to you. Then just walk away. Tell me I’m wrong.”

  Aaron schooled his features to remain unchanged as Alex watched his eyes. Half a dozen different emotions shifted through him. He stood silent for several long minutes, just studying her. At last he reached out, put his hand on the side of her neck, and brushed his thumb against her cheek, searching her face.

  “I wouldn’t have taken the risk if it wasn’t important to me,” he told her, his now gravelly voice hushed. “If it didn’t matter.”

  Aaron closed his eyes and lowered his head. This was not a good idea. But he had put her in danger, on someone’s radar, just by showing up here. Yeah, so this is what I get for thinking I can start a normal life. And, right or wrong, he couldn’t do it. He really couldn’t just let her go now. Not like this. Not after this day. After one damn day? Have I lost it?

  “What the hell am I doing?” he whispered to himself. He opened his eyes again, imploring her. What he saw there… He sighed and spoke over his shoulder to Les. “She’s coming with me. Decide if you’re good with that.”

  Another silence until Les spoke, his blithe tone unexpected. “Okay then.”

  Les got up, went and grabbed a duffel bag stashed in a corner and returned, pulling out maps and papers that he proceeded to spread across the kitchen table.

  “You do handle strange pretty well,” Les said to Alex as he worked.

  Aaron watched Alex gape at him and then Les, who was shuffling through the papers as he sat back down. The abrupt change in Les’s demeanor and the sudden shift from her perceived loss to Aaron’s affirming his own desire to have her stay with him had combined to bring her to tears.

  Trying to blink them away, she looked back to him. “What just happened here?”

  “C’mon.”

  Aaron led Alex over to a chair. She all but fell into it, and he knelt in front of her, resting his forearms on her knees. “Are you really sure about this? Unfortunately, I’m used to it. But I’m usually on my own. It’s not gonna be easy. In fact, it’ll probably be a real pain in the ass most of the time. You really need to fully understand what this means, what you’d be getting yourself into.”

  She wiped her eyes and leaned forward. “Well, let’s see. Taking off with a guy I’ve only known for, technically what—if we count the ship—three weeks? Going who knows where. Trying to figure out who wants you gone and why, which I still, by the way, know nothing about that history. Hmmm…” She shrugged and gave him a weak smile. “Yeah, what’s not to be sure about?”

  He ignored her half-hearted attempt at humor and raised an eyebrow. “This is not something I expected. Not at all. Dammit, I would never have…” His dark gaze shifted from her to the ceiling and back again. He leaned forward and his look softened. “I know you’re upset right now. I’m not thrilled about this either. But I don’t want you to make a snap decision. If we do this, you can’t change your mind. You need to know that. I need to know that you know that. I need you to really be sure. You remember what happened on the ship. There is the very real possibility, more like probability, that we’ll get into something like that again. Or worse. You really have to understand what that means. It’ll be hard. And there’s no going back. Once we leave here, it’s done. I need you to really think about that before you make a final decision.”

  She leaned closer. “We could call some kind of authorities, couldn’t we? Or would it be the military? Somebody has to be able to help.”

  Aaron shook his head. “It’s more complicated than that. I… I know it may be hard for you to understand, but this is all outside any conventional authority. Maybe in time I’ll be able to tell you why, but right now you have to trust me when I say this is the only way for me. At the moment anyway.”

  Regardless of what his emotional state was telling him, why he had even come here in the first place, Aaron needed to listen to his practical, rational side now. The possibility of seeing where things would lead with her had not included ripping her out of her life. And regardless of what he had just told Les, he needed to try to convince her, make her understand just how tough a situation this would likely be. To try to dissuade her from doing this, from her desire to come with them. To be with him. Even if he didn’t want it that way either.

  Would she want to stay if she knew the whole truth? Although she was more open-minded about his profession than most, there was still no way he could explain it all to her at this point. And outright telling her no and just walking away wouldn’t solve anything either. It would just leave her distraught and wouldn’t alleviate the danger. But he had to make her as fully aware as he could of just what obstacles might lie ahead.

  “I know we had some great talks on the ship. And today was, well, the best day I’ve had in some time too. But there’s a helluva lot you still don’t know about me.”

  “Doesn’t what I do know count for something?”

  He didn’t even attempt to cover his torment this time.

  Alex looked down at his hands, took hold of them with her own. Strong, long fingered, a few scars. Those fingers folded around hers, warm and caring. Whatever it was he thought was so awful, she would deal with. He was not a bad person.

  She let Les’s words sink in. No contact with anyone in her present life. For how long? Logistically, she could cover up to six months or so without issue. She had talked about moving soon anyway. Just tell everyone she was traveling overseas or something. For an extended period.

  Her brother would find great humor in that. He had told her to go travel and adventure, hadn’t he? Pretty sure he didn’t quite have this in mind when he said that. Her best friend Lou would be a harder sell, but she would figure out something to convince her. She would miss them all terribly, but she could do it. And it wasn’t forever, right?

  Swallowing against the knots taking up permanent residence in her stomach and the tightness in her chest, Alex closed her eyes. What earlier had been one of the most joyous days of her life had now shi
fted into one of the most bizarre. Was her current mental state rational? Of course not. Her mind scrambled and spun with how fast things were changing.

  Plus the whole excitement and romantic adventure thing. And the fact that that aspect could, and was, clouding her judgment. Oh boy. I really am going off the deep end here. She mulled that over. And the danger? The very distinct possibility that things could get incredibly crazy and out of control in a bad way fast? A terrible risk, yet surreal against the backdrop of her emotions.

  In the end, one true deciding factor—that unusual, strong connection with Aaron. A force she could not shake, even when she tried. Something always brought her back to it. To him. On the ship and after. In her dreams, in those days leading up to his first note. An essence she couldn’t describe but was nonetheless very real. And though a past unknown to her, the man he was now was not. The man he was on the ship. Someone who looked out for them all, risked his own life. Saved them. And came back to her.

  A second chance.

  She would take that chance because right or wrong—or completely insane—if she didn’t, she would regret it for the rest of her life.

  Alex looked up and met Aaron’s waiting gaze with conviction. “Remember, I have seen you work. I know what you do. I don’t have any illusions about that. I wouldn’t have even followed the clues and gone out to find you at the pier if I was terribly concerned that things could get a little weird at some point. Did not expect all this, but if I let you walk out that door and I don’t come with you? I’ll never forgive myself. There’s only one place I want to be. I am sure.”

  “Not at all how I thought this weekend might turn out,” Aaron commented as he stretched and looked over to Alex, who sat cross-legged next to him on her sofa.

  She gave him a side-eye and they both smiled. “Nope, not exactly.” She closed one eye, continuing her sideways stare. “But you are still here.”

  “Yep.” He eyed her back, his look turning dark yet mischievous. “And you know damn well I shouldn’t be.” His gaze locked deep in hers. “And I know damn well I shouldn’t do this.” He sighed. “But keeping you with us at this point probably is the best way to keep you safe.”

  Alex glanced over to Les in the kitchen, in animated conversation on what she assumed was a satellite phone. She looked back to Aaron.

  Eyes avoiding hers now, his expression took on a near whimsical, apologetic cast. “I hope… Please don’t be too weirded out about what Les said. That I’ve been around here for a while.”

  She broke into a giggle at the abrupt fluctuation in his demeanor. “I’m not weirded out. More a little pissed it took you so long. Not like I thought you were dead or anything.”

  A penitent chuckle and he laid a hand on her leg, rugged fingers contracting into a consoling hold. There remained a silence, a reflection of recent events. “I’d like to say it’s just because I’m overly cautious. Guess I wasn’t quite cautious enough.” His brows knit as he appeared to carefully think over his words. “I guess part of it too, is… I was just trying to get my nerve up.”

  Seriously? This man, usually so assured and confident, confessing to feeling on the shy side at making contact? Wow. Coming to see her again really did mean a lot to him. An endearing sense of awe swept over her, warming her body and releasing any lingering misgivings from earlier. She hooked her pinky finger around his, an affectionate gesture of reassurance. When his bashful eyes returned to hers, she patted him on the knee and offered him her most innocent grin. “Stalker.”

  They shared a laugh that nearly brought each to tears.

  Aaron rubbed his face, ran both hands through his hair, and stared at the far wall, fingers lacing behind his neck. He took a deep breath, seriousness having returned. “Man, this is messed up. So messed up.” His eyes found hers again. “I’m pretty sure I really screwed up your life though. Should have stayed away. You’d have been better off.”

  Alex unfolded her legs and moved over to lean across his, encircling him in her arms. Her head against his chest, his heartbeat thrummed a reassuring rhythm in her ear. “No, you shouldn’t have,” she told him. “I’d rather have you here, weirdness or not.”

  Aaron wrapped his arms around her, one hand on the side of her head, and pressed her close. He nestled his chin in her hair. “You may not always think that.” His tone was soft but somber. “Things will get weird. And they may get real bad.”

  Alex hugged him tighter, comforted by the warmth of his hold. “You know, you’re not doing a very good job of selling this.”

  “I’m not supposed to be. I’m supposed to be convincing you to run the hell as far away from me as you can get.” He smoothed her hair and kissed her on top of her head before resting his chin on it again.

  “Well, you’re not selling that very well either.”

  “I guess not.”

  “Tell you what,” she said. “When this is over? We’ll go back out to the end of that pier, and you can ask me if I still want you around. After we get through all this crazy, dangerous bullshit. Deal?”

  He chuckled into her hair. “Yeah, okay. Deal.”

  “Just gotta keep your Psycho ass alive.” She smiled to herself though she was dead serious. “We do that, and I’m fine.”

  He chuckled again and patted her arm. “You really need to get some sleep.”

  Even though exhaustion could claim her at any second, her mind still raced. “Like I can sleep,” she replied but scooted down the couch to his side. She stretched out her legs. “Okay. Good night.”

  He lifted his arm, allowing her to lay her head on his thigh, and rested that arm along her side as she settled in. His thumb caressed her hip.

  “You know, you owe me too.” Her drowsy voice reached his ears a few minutes later.

  He brushed a strand of hair off her face. “Yeah? What for?”

  “That,” she replied and pointed at the bathroom.

  He chuckled. “I do, huh?” She heard the impish grin in his voice as he patted her hip. “Well, not right now. Sleep. Long day tomorrow.”

  She giggled and snuggled in tighter.

  “In time,” he murmured, restraining a fervid sigh, as though he’d not truly intended to voice the sentiment out loud.

  Alex smiled to herself. “Aaron, you’re very frustrating.”

  “I know.”

  “We were never technically military. And I was just in the wrong place at the right time. Those people saw skills they could work with.” Aaron sighed. “I wasn’t exactly headed in a good direction back then, just kinda screwing off with my life. Young and dumb, working odd jobs just to earn enough dough to blow on crazy shit with the wrong crowd.” He rubbed his hands through his hair.

  “Anyway, it wasn’t always so much the what, it’s the who I ended up having to do it for. And then it became the what. Everything off the books. Shit I didn’t sign up for. Decided I’d had enough, but they didn’t see it that way. Guess they had too much invested in me or I knew too much. So I took off. Disappeared. Different identities over a few years, a couple of times killing myself off. Thought I was finally good, enough time and space, enough backstops in place. Started working protection, was good at it. You know the rest. Then this one last job with you guys. One last real good payday. Thought I could finally relax, you know, just have a somewhat regular, normal life.” Aaron looked over to where Alex had fallen asleep on her sofa and rested his chin on his hands.

  Les sat across from him at Alex’s kitchen table as Aaron opened up about some history. But his friend had a surprise of his own.

  “You remember that protection detail we did in Pakistan? Third time we worked together?”

  Aaron nodded.

  “Kinda wondered about you then. That’s when ol’ Kelley started calling you Psycho, remember? We all thought you were deranged when we got in that firefight. And then having to take out those guys hand to hand? Another level indeed. I’ve worked with some talented fighters and marksmen over the years, but I’d never seen anyone t
hat bloody good. So I did some digging.”

  Les gave an offhanded shrug before continuing. “Know a couple of guys wicked slick with intelligence. We’d stumbled across intel a few years before, on some secret black-ops-type program, but then never heard anything else. A curiosity, but since it wasn’t something we were after, never gave it much thought. Until then. Just for my own interest I had them look into it. You’re right. The crap that group started getting into? You were lucky to get away when you did.”

  Aaron sat passively as Les talked. None of this was news to him. Except Les’s own knowledge of his past. The details, however, would be a different story. He bit down hard to keep his expression neutral. These were memories he’d buried for years.

  “You don’t know the half of it, man. You don’t want to.”

  “Forget it. Don’t go there. Doesn’t matter now.” Les stopped Aaron with a stern look, the resolve in his tone speaking volumes. “What’s done is done and in the past. You left it. It’s not who you are.”

  Aaron just nodded. There was nothing he could say. If Les said he didn’t care, he knew the man well enough to take that as fact. And Les’s acceptance of those events meant more to him than he could ever convey in words.

  Les nodded understanding in return. “Good. Now, let’s just say our merry little band has never been real agency friendly to any of ’em. And you, my friend, have had some under-the-radar backup had it been needed these past few years.” He paused and chuckled. “It really is fun messing with the ones who think no one can touch ’em.” He shook his head. “Anyway, we discovered one other guy came away from that mess alive. ’Bout the end of things, near as we can tell. Did some time in a max, escaped a couple of years later and vanished. Big guy. Really nuts too. But in a bad way.”