Anywhere But Here

by Paul, JL

  He held up his hands as he, too, moved away from the lockers, stepping toward me instead of moving backwards. “Okay, you’re right. My apologies. Shall we start over?”

  My anger-demon was reaching the end of its rope and I inhaled deeply in an effort to calm it. “Okay, I apologize for being rude and you just accepted. The end.”

  He laughed, the deep rumble reverberating off my heart. “Yes, I quite agree. Now come on, I’ll buy you lunch. And don’t give me any crap about Damon – he could care less if I sit with you.”

  Losing that particular argument, I decided to save face and just go along with it. We weren’t exactly friends and I held on to that tidbit of my dignity with both hands as I followed him into the cafeteria.

  Many heads turned our way and that heat in my cheeks returned full force. Fin, on the other hand, apparently hadn’t noticed. I was about to point it out to him when I decided to just keep my mouth shut. I didn’t much care what anyone thought about me and even if I did, I couldn’t stop their thoughts anyway.

  He piled various items on a tray, not bothering to ask me what I liked and didn’t like. I didn’t offer any opinions as I was just anxious to sit down and not feel like a spotlight was burning the top of my head.

  “Milk? Juice? Soft drink?” he asked, raising a brow.

  “I don’t care. I’m not particular.”

  He rolled his eyes as a tiny smirk formed in the corners of his mouth. He placed two bottles of apple juice on the tray and proceeded to the lady manning the register. He paid for the huge lunch as I ducked my eyes, avoiding the gazes of my classmates who were staring outright as if we were on display in some sort of freaky sideshow.

  Finally, we sat at my usual table, Damon, Reg, and Shane nodding a greeting. Fin shoved a slice of pizza under my nose. “Hey, Shane. I heard you got a new snowboard. Is it any good?”

  And just like that, he was lost in the world of ‘rad’ conversation. I’d given up on following that sort of conversation my first day and happily munched on my food, secretly enjoying the dark glances Gina tossed at me.

  My lunchtime endeavor didn’t end once our meals were finished. Fin insisted on walking me to class, too. I endured only because I felt that I owed him that much. And besides, I could tell Roberta that I had made a friend on my own.

  He chatted amicably as we settled into our seats. I only half listened as he described his hockey practice the night before. My mind wandered, remembering last year, at my old school, and how I’d once dated Evan, quarterback extraordinaire. We’d been the ‘it’ couple – the football player and the cheerleader – but it had been an empty sort of relationship. He’d talk and I’d pretend to listen and vice versa. We’d had a few heavy make-out sessions but I’d managed to keep him at arm’s length. Evan definitely wasn’t the prince charming I’d always dreamed of living with happily ever after.

  “Rena?” Fin asked as the final stragglers wandered into the room when the bell rang.

  Blinking, I looked at him, slightly dumbfounded. “Huh?”

  His brows dipped over his eyes. “Still with me?”

  “Yeah. Sorry.”

  He pursed his lips and nodded as Mr. Ellis called the class to order. But I had a hard time paying attention as the old memories continued to play in my head like a bad movie. I remembered Tiara, my best friend and confidant – the one person I’d turned to when things with Evan had gone sour. She was the one who’d vented to me when her parents put their foot down and forbade her from dating a college guy. We had been tight – supposedly. But when Camille had gone missing and all the guilt had started eating my insides, Tiara had barely been there. I’d called her, crying, and she’d merely inserted ‘ums’ and ‘ahs’ in the appropriate places. It wasn’t until later – much later – that I had discovered that our friendship was as fake as the tattoos we’d applied to our ankles early last summer.

  Then there were the new friends that I’d made late last summer when I’d stumbled upon them at the park one night. I had remembered them from school and they’d been too drunk to care that I was the snobby cheerleader who’d turned my nose up at them. They’d shared their booze with me and after a few drinks, the pain had numbed into something more bearable. Before I had known what was happening, I was hanging out with them a couple nights a week, and once school had started, I’d skipped class to get drunk in the parking lot with them. They hadn’t cared about Camille, either, but that was okay. They’d never met her whereas Tiara had.

  “Miss Hamilton?”

  My name prodded through the fog surrounding my brain but Fin’s nudge is what brought me totally back to reality.

  “Huh?” I asked amidst a smattering of snickers and giggles.

  “Just making sure you’re still with us,” Mr. Ellis said with a smile that held no malice.

  “Sure,” I said and straightened, focusing on his face and the words he was scrawling on the whiteboard.

  “You okay, Rena?” Fin leaned over to whisper. I nodded quickly, not wanting to get into any sort of discussion with him at all, let alone in class.

  When the bell rang, I gathered my things as Fin lurked behind me. I desperately wanted to block him out – chase him away again – but I didn’t. I’d taken an important step today, no need to fall back.

  He walked silently, and irritatingly, beside me. When we reached my next class, he grabbed my arm before I could slip away into my classroom. “Hey,” he said, concern still lingering in his eyes. “Do you want to do something after school? I mean, before my practice?”

  “I have to work,” I said, grateful for the excuse. “Sorry.”

  “I understand,” he said with a forced smile.

  I whirled away just as Gina’s shrill voice shouted a greeting to Fin. I cringed, wishing the girl would just ask him out already or give up.

  She entered the class just before the bell and I wondered if she’d made him late. I tried not to care but the girl grated on my nerves the way a pesky fly does when it buzzes around your ear early in the morning while you’re trying to sleep.

  “Hey,” Gina said, pausing before my desk. “I thought you didn’t like Fin?”

  I lifted a brow and tapped my pencil on the desk. “Maybe I changed my mind.”

  She bent at the waist, leering in my face. “Leave him alone,” she said, teeth grinding. “He and I were practically dating before you came here.”

  “Oh, really?” I asked, trying to appear amused. Inside, my heart was thundering.

  “Yes, really,” she said, nearly spitting in my face. “So butt out. Go back to being rude. Just, leave him alone.”

  “And if I don’t?” I asked, though I had no intention of encouraging him at all.

  “You’ll pay,” she said, anger glittering in her eyes.

  That was the worst thing she could have said for I was suddenly determined to continue my burgeoning friendship with Ian Finley. “Is that a threat?” I asked feigning innocence.

  “I didn’t stutter,” she said and with a flick to her hair, she bounded away to join her wide-eyed friends.

  I rolled my eyes and started on my math problems, fury racing through my veins.

  ***

  Fin turned up at my locker constantly on Wednesday and it sent Gina into a fuming rage. Oh, she’d played it off perfectly when Fin was around, but whenever I had the misfortune of running into her in the halls alone, she spit nails at me. I didn’t much care – she could do nothing that would hurt me worse than the personal hell I’d gone through for the past five months.

  Thursday morning, when I opened my locker, I got a little taste of Gina’s anger. The books and papers that I hadn’t taken home with me the day before were dripping with a sticky substance that smelled suspiciously like maple syrup.

  At first I’d wondered if she’d somehow obtained my locker combination but after inspecting the door, it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that she’d shot the stuff through the slatted vents.

  Sighing my resignation, I
began digging the sticky books out of my locker and piling them on the floor. I wasn’t sure exactly how to clean up the mess without involving Admin, but I couldn’t carry the books around with me all day.

  “What the hell?” Damon asked as he loped over to me. “Damn, did you leave a bottle of syrup in there or something?”

  “Nope,” I said succinctly as I frowned at my sticky hands. “Just a little gift from my new friend, Gina.”

  “Damn,” Damon muttered, opening a book with the toe of his shoe. “That spiteful little...”

  “Yeah, well, she’s not too happy that Fin and I mended our differences.”

  He snorted. “She’s been in love with Fin for ages – everyone knows,” he said, garnering my attention. “He’s never really showed much interest in anyone or anything except hockey. That is, until you came here. All the chicks that have been crushing on him don’t much care for you, either.”

  “Wonderful,” I groaned, hands on hips as I surveyed the mess. “Now what?”

  “I’ll go track down the janitor and get some cleaning stuff,” Damon offered. “See if there’s anything in there that isn’t covered in goo.”

  I nodded and salvaged a couple of folders. Luckily, I’d taken all my assignments that were due today home with me the night before.

  “What happened, Rena?” Fin asked as he crept toward me, Grant in tow.

  “One of your admirers isn’t too happy that you’re paying me some attention,” I said with a false smile. “Nice, huh? I’m honored.”

  He ran his hands through his hair as he gaped at the mess. “Damn, Rena. I’m sorry.”

  “It’s not your fault, Fin,” I said with an exasperated sigh. “I’m just sort of at a loss how to fix this.”

  I glanced at him, ready to offer a genuine smile, but it faltered as I caught sight of the manic glint in his eyes. “I’ll fix this, don’t worry,” he said, his jaw set.

  I placed a hand on his chest. “Um, no, don’t. Don’t get involved.”

  “He’s already involved,” Grant said and I shot him a warning glare.

  “I’ll deal with Gina,” Fin said, his eyes sweeping the hall as if she’d suddenly appear.

  “No,” I said firmly. “I’ll deal with her. Leave her to me.”

  “Here,” Damon said as he returned, his arms loaded with a spray bottle filled with some sort of blue liquid and a roll of paper towels. “Let’s get these books cleaned up.”

  “Thanks,” I said as the warning bell rang. “You guys go – I got this. No need for everyone to be late.” I realized I’d be late to my Calculus class and could already feel the detention slip in my hands. My Calculus book was in my bag so I started cramming the rest of the sticky mess back into my locker along with the cleaning stuff. “I’ll deal with this after class. I can’t get a detention – I’ll be late for my appoint…”

  I froze as I clamped my lips shut, my heart pounding hard against my ribs. All three of them watched me, waiting for me to finish my sentence, and that melted the ice that had stiffened me.

  Obviously spotting the terror in my eyes, Fin gave me a gentle shove. “Go to class – I’ll take care of this. I have advanced P.E. and Coach Freels won’t care if I’m late.” He shoved me again as I opened my mouth to protest so I flashed him a smile and jogged down the hall, stepping through the classroom door just as the bell rang.

  All morning, I plotted my revenge, though every idea I came up with really sucked. By the time lunch rolled around, I was mentally exhausted.

  “You’re all cleaned up and good to go,” Fin declared as he joined me in the lunch line.

  “Thanks, Fin,” I said, genuinely, with a hand on his arm. “Really.”

  He shrugged, a flush on his face. “It’s not a problem, especially since I’m sort of the reason.”

  “No,” I sighed. “She’s hated me from the get-go. I wasn’t exactly friendly to her, either.”

  “Still, that was pretty dirty,” Fin said as we paid for our lunches and found Damon, Reg, Shane, and Grant already at our table discussing this morning’s incident.

  “How are you going to get her back?” Reg asked, her eyes glinting like a madwoman.

  “No clue,” I said as I toyed with the apple on my tray. “I haven’t figured anything out yet.”

  “It’s so simple, dudes,” Damon said between mouthfuls of peaches. We all looked at him until he set his fork down and grinned. “You two just need to keep spending time together, that’s all.”

  “Dude, you’re a genius,” Reg declared, bestowing an admiring gaze on her friend.

  Fin chuckled and nudged me with his shoulder. “He has a point.”

  I groaned, covering my face with my hands. It was so not what I wanted to do. Spending more time with people meant talking and talking meant spilling your guts. That’s what my parents paid the shrink for, anyway.

  “Stop looking bereft,” Fin said with false insult. “Besides, Gina’s watching you.”

  I dropped my hands and smiled widely at Fin. “You’re absolutely right, new best friend of mine.”

  His smile matched mine. He winked. “I know I’m right, best friend. And I’m also right in thinking you should come to practice with me.”

  My smile fell and I took a bite out of my apple, chewing furiously. “I can’t. I have something I have to do tonight for Aunt Franki.”

  Disappointment flooded his face as he took a swig of his soda. “Okay, hang out with me, Grant, and Isaiah tomorrow night, then.”

  My heart fluttered again like a stupid butterfly signaling how dangerous it was to spend more time with him. But, there’d be other people so certainly that would help. Although I felt as if I was striking a deal with the devil, I agreed.

  ***

  “So, how was your week?” Roberta asked as we each settled into a cushy chair.

  “Better, I guess,” I said with a shrug. “I talked to my brother and we’re going to try to get together one weekend.”

  “Good,” Roberta said, bobbing her head. “Have you talked to your parents?”

  “No,” I admitted with a pang. They hadn’t tried to contact me, either. “Not since I moved here.”

  “Does that bother you?”

  “Why should it?” I asked. “They probably don’t even know I’m gone.”

  “That’s a bit of an exaggeration, don’t you think?”

  “Not much,” I said as I picked at a hangnail. “Honestly.”

  She nibbled her bottom lip, studying me as if I were a strange new strain of flu under a microscope. “What do you want to talk about today? Any new friends? How about your new job?”

  “My job is okay – a little boring.” A slight grin appeared on my face. “I made a new friend. He’s a hockey player and we sort of bonded over maple syrup.”

  Confusion flushed Roberta’s face and I quickly explained everything to her – surprising even myself as I hadn’t told Aunt Franki. But then, Roberta was sworn to secrecy.

  “Wow,” she said when I finished. “What are you going to do?”

  “Keep hanging out with Fin,” I said simply.

  Her eyes narrowed in on my face, analyzing my intentions. “Are you only friends with Fin because you know it will anger Gina more?”

  I pieced my answer together carefully in my head before sharing it with her. “In a way, I guess. But in a way, not.” I sighed, dropping my hands to my lap. “He’s okay. I was a little rude to him at first but he’s been nothing but nice so I decided to apologize. He gets on my nerves a bit but he’s not a bad person.”

  Roberta speculated my answer. “I’m not sure if I approve of this…friendship…but we’ll monitor it. Maybe it will blossom into something real.”

  “It’s not a flower,” I said with an eye roll.

  She laughed and patted my hand. “So, tell me what else is going on.”

  I described my classes, went over my job again, and told her about Fin, Grant, Damon, and the others. The hour zoomed by and when our session ended, I was r
elieved that she hadn’t even mentioned Camille.

  “I’ll see you next week, Rena,” Roberta said as she walked me to the lobby. I nodded, my heart a bit lighter.

  Despite the Gina situation, things weren’t as bad as they’d first seemed when I’d decided to move to Dunewood. Maybe, just maybe, I’d get my act together and actually figure out some kind of life.

  For the first time in about six months, a little optimism touched my heart. I smiled as I drove home.

  Chapter Seven

  A good night’s sleep had pretty much swept away my positive feelings and I had second thoughts about hanging out with Fin and his friends that night. As I parked my car and headed inside the school, I wondered how I could get out of it.

  I trudged through the halls to my locker, noticing more looks thrown my way than usual, and hurried my pace, thinking maybe the horrid syrup incident had been repeated only ten times worse. But when I reached my locker, all was well, except for the lingering scent of maple syrup and industrial cleaning spray. I sighed in relief and exchanged books for my first class.

  “No surprises today?” Damon asked as he fell against the neighboring locker. He adjusted the beanie on his head and grinned.

  I couldn’t resist smiling back. “Nothing – no pancakes either.”

  “Bummer. I’m hungry.”

  I laughed and glanced around us, a tiny frown pulling at my lips. Although I’d only been attending the small school for two weeks, I’d thought I was past the ‘staring at the new kid’ phase. Apparently not. Each group that passed by gawked at me like it was my first day all over again.

  “Hey,” I said as I closed my locker. “What’s the deal with everyone staring at me?”

  Damon’s brows pulled together as he studied the other students who were no longer walking past my locker but lingering. “I don’t know. Maybe they were expecting another prank.”

  “Move along,” I growled at a horde of freshmen whispering together as they eyed me suspiciously. One of the more courageous ones glared and flipped me the bird before grabbing her friend’s arm and hustling toward a classroom.

  “Underclassmen,” Damon grumbled as we ambled toward our respective classes. “So, they’re all staring at you now. Hm. Maybe because you are sort of a hottie.”