Ma, He Sold Me for a Few Cigarettes

by Martha Long

  ‘No! We’re not eatin the lot now. I want te make it stretch, an ye’ll be gettin a big dinner later. Here! Run te the shop,’ an she gave me me two shillins.

  ‘Can I buy meself a Bunty comic, Ma?’

  ‘No! Bring me back the change.’

  ‘Ah, Ma! Just two pence!’

  ‘All right, then, but no more!’

  ‘Ah, thanks, Ma!’

  I rushed back wit the milk an eggs, an me ma gave me two pennies. ‘I’m goin out, Ma, te get me comics. I’m goin te see if I can get old ones.’

  ‘Don’t be long!’ me ma shouted after me as I rushed past the winda.

  ‘No, Ma! I’ll be back.’

  I rambled up Talbot Street an aroun te Marlborough Street, headin fer the second-hand book shops. I bought three Bunties an one Judy second-hand fer tuppence. They wanted fourpence fer the lot, a penny each. But I managed te get the lot fer a ha’penny each. Tellin the man, cos the aul one didn’t want te know, I’d bring back the comics, an he could have the lot fer a penny after I’d finished readin them.

  ‘Go on, then!’ he said, after sizin me up te see if I was genuine. I stared back at him, an he handed me the comics, an I threw down the two pennies an rushed out the door before the aul one stopped me.

  I crossed me arms, holdin the comics te me chest in case someone’d try te grab them or I dropped them an didn’t notice. Ye never know! Ye can lose things. I’m feelin so happy, things couldn’t be better. An I had loads a things te look forward te. Then I spotted the two chairs sittin on the steps outside the Government Department Office. They must be thowin them out! I rushed up the steps an looked at them. They were like the ones in the hospital fer visitors te sit on. I looked aroun, an the shops had their bins out. Right! I put one on top of the other, an me comics sittin on them, an rushed off. I was beltin down the road an gave a look back, an there was a man lookin up an down the road scratchin his head, an he must be wonderin where his chairs got te! I ran faster. Jaysus! I’m goin te be arrested. I took another look back when I stopped te cross the road. An I saw him disappear inside. Me heart was poundin, Holy Mother of God, don’t get me arrested! I thought they were thrown out!

  I got in the door safely. ‘Ma! Ma, lookit! We have chairs te sit on!’

  ‘Where’d we get them?’ me ma said laughin, an I told her. ‘You’d better be careful!’ me ma said, ‘or you’ll be put away an locked up till ye’re sixteen.’

  I didn’t like the thought of tha! A lot of childre from the buildins was put away an locked up. Ye might see them rarely on a Sunday, playin pitch penny. An they’d be dressed in suits an big boots. An the suits look like the sacks the coalman used te throw over his horse on a wet day. An their heads was all shaved. An they didn’t act like themselves any more. They were very quiet an kept their heads down an didn’t bother te look at ye. It was like the life was gone outa them. An they were tryin te play an enjoy themselves like they used te. But it was all gone, an they were like aul men who’d seen too much a this life. An they were still only my age, some of them nine years old, an ten an eleven. Ye could see they were worried about goin back te Daingean an Artane an Letterfrack. The worry of it was killin them. I know what it’s like. Tha’s the same fer me when Jackser’s livin wit us, so I don’t know wha’s worse, bein locked up or livin wit Jackser! I felt me heart sink inta me belly, cos I know he’ll be back.

  I looked up when I heard Charlie an Teddy fightin over the chair. ‘No! It’s mine! I sawed it first.’ Charlie was tryin te tear Teddy’s hands offa the chair. ‘Get yer own!’ Charlie pointed te the other chair beside the table, an Teddy looked over an rushed te get the other chair. An tried te pull it over te the fire an knocked it down. Charlie was sittin up on the chair now, wavin his legs an laughin. Teddy was screamin in frustration.

  Me comics! I suddenly remembered. ‘Where’s me comics?’ I screamed.

  ‘I’m goin te kill the lot of ye if ye don’t stop tha roarin,’ me ma shouted.

  I raced over te the bed an looked under an all aroun me. I was in a sweat. ‘Ma! Ma! Me comics is gone!’

  ‘They’re on the floor where ye left them.’

  An I looked. Harry was sittin on the floor, tearin an eatin them. I grabbed his hands an loosened his grip before he could do any more damage. An tried te put the torn bits together an took the half page still stickin outa his mouth. He sat lookin at me fer a minute. ‘Ye’re bold!’ I said, an I went te sit on the bed. An he crawled after me, wantin them back, an screamed in frustration, tearin his hair out, when I wouldn’t let him have them.

  ‘Give him somethin te keep him quiet!’ me ma roared from the scullery. I looked aroun te see if there was anythin. I knew I wouldn’t get any peace te read if I didn’t. I leapt off the bed an wrestled the chair offa Charlie an dragged it under the winda, puttin it on its side, an called Harry te come an play wit it. He laughed an rushed over on his hands an knees. An Teddy thought it was a great idea an dropped his own chair an came rushin over te join in. Charlie was delighted an stopped tryin te get the chair offa me an rushed back, laughin. ‘Now I have me own, an no one’s gettin it!’ he roared.

  Me ma was fryin the roast potatoes an the roast beef in the fryin pan wit the beef drippin, an I could hear the hissin from the pan. The smell was outa this world. I looked aroun me, sittin on the bed wit me back te the headboard, takin in the lovely red roarin fire an the lovely food, an the chairs we could sit on now by the fire, an took a big sigh, lettin out me breath wit all the peace an comfort we had. An I picked up me comic te read. Wha more could a body want? I asked meself. I lost meself wit ‘Wee Slavey’ carryin up the heavy buckets of coal te the kitchen. An I was tormented like her when all the cook an the parlour maid an the downstairs kitchen maid was screamin at her. All at the same time! She was sweatin an wipin her forehead, an tryin te hurry. ‘Light the fire in the mornin room!’ the parlour maid screamed. ‘Ye didn’t blacken me stove!’ the cook shouted, an this was all in Victorian times. It was great! I was sufferin away wit Wee Slavey but feelin no pain, cos it wasn’t me. An I could lift me head any time an smell the cookin, an then I was in heaven. Then I went te ‘Bessie Bunter’ at her lovely boardin school wit the lovely uniform an the gorgeous blazer. I’d love te be there. She was tormented tryin te get her hands on the big parcel her rich parents sent her. The head teacher had it locked up in her press, an it was full of chocolate, an sweets, an biscuits, an homemade cakes. An Bessie only cared about eatin, nothin else! An she was fat as a fool! An she got herself in an awful lot of trouble, cos she was tryin te break inta the study. She was climbin up the drainpipe, an it gave way an she landed on her fat arse an was caught when the head girl, Mary, came marchin by wit her hands in her blazer pockets an two thumbs stickin out. Tha’s what a lady does! It was marvellous, an I was Mary, the head girl, cos Bessie is too stupid fer my likin. The stories take me away from meself, an I go off inta another world.

  I heard the rattle of plates, an we all looked up. ‘Right! It’s ready,’ me ma said.

  ‘Dinner!’ Charlie roared. An he threw himself offa the chair he’d been guardin an upended it.

  ‘Take it easy!’ me ma said. ‘There’s plenty te go aroun.’ She brought in a plate filled high like a mountain wit fried roast beef an potatoes, an put it on the table. We all rushed over, an the babby screamed, cos he was caught under the chair an thought he was goin te miss out on the grub. I let him loose, an he rushed over on his hands an knees.

  ‘Don’t touch the plate!’ me ma roared from the scullery. ‘I’m not ready yet,’ an she brought in the fryin pan wit the six eggs all mashed up an fried. I looked. Pity she can’t make them yella in the middle an all white. But ye can’t help tha, cos she’s not able te cook. Jackser does the cookin, but then he eats it himself an we get nothin anyways, so this is better. She put fried potatoes on the clean plate, an meat an a bit of egg, an buttered six slices a bread, an put a few scones on, an we watched her, wonderin who this was fer, cos we only have the two plates.
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br />   ‘Here!’ me ma said, handin me the plate, an I thought it was fer me! Bring this over te Mrs Dunne quickly while it’s hot an tell her we had too much an I hope she enjoys it! Run before it gets cold.’

  I knocked on the door, holdin the plate, an me stomach was goin mad te get me teeth inta it. The door opened, an Mrs Dunne’s eyes were hangin out lookin at the plate. ‘Me mammy said ye might like this, cos we’ve too much, an she’d be grateful if ye’d have it.’

  ‘Ah, Jaysus, no! I couldn’t, an yer poor mammy wit a roomful of childre.’

  She looked at the plate as if she was starvin, an Jimmy came over an said in a loud whisper, ‘Is this fer us, Ma? Take it, Mam!’

  I said, ‘If ye don’t, it’ll only go te waste!’

  ‘Ah! All right so, seein as ye put it like tha. I don’t like te see waste,’ an she took the plate from me. I wanted te get back fast te eat me own dinner, an I turned me head te go, an she said, ‘Tell yer mammy I said, the blessins of God on her! May she never want fer anythin. An I won’t forget this.’

  ‘Thanks, Mrs. I’ll tell her tha,’ an I rushed inta me own room.

  ‘Come on, get yer dinner before it gets cold!’ me ma said, eatin a mouthful of potato. ‘I gave them theirs, an we’ll share the plate along wit the babby.’

  I looked over at Teddy an Charlie. They had their own chairs, an they were kneelin at them, eatin the meat offa the bread, an they had their potatoes lined up on the seat of the chairs an were busy stuffin the grub inta their mouths. Everyone was quiet, an me ma was standin at the table, holdin the babby an puttin food inta his mouth, an feedin herself. I helped meself te a potato an a bit of meat. It went down too fast before I had a chance te taste it, an I grabbed a bit a bread an put eggs on it. ‘Oh! This is gorgeous,’ I mumbled, not talkin, cos I wanted te get the grub inta me. We had a sup a tea wit the cakes, an our bellies were full.

  ‘I enjoyed tha,’ me ma said, laughin. ‘Tha’s wha them nuns eat all the time. No wonder they have big red necks!’

  Then she took out the Oxo box wit all her papers in it, an she dipped her hand te the bottom an counted out one shillin an sixpence, an put it on the mantelpiece. ‘Tha’s the rent money,’ she said. ‘Leave it there, an I’ll go over an pay it. We don’t want te get put out again. After this place, there’s nowhere te go, an we’ll end up on the streets.’

  ‘No, Ma! We can’t let tha happen. Do ye know what’d be lovely, Ma?’

  ‘Wha?’ she said.

  ‘If we could get our hands on a radio!’

  ‘Yeah!’ she said. ‘But ye’d need money. Ye’d pay about thirty bob, or two quid, in the pawn fer one.’

  ‘Ah, still, ye never know, we might get the money somehow! An then we could start te make a real home fer ourselves. We could get a little bit at a time. I’m goin te start te keep a lookout,’ I said.

  The babby started te fall asleep on the floor, an me ma picked him up an put him in the bed an covered him up. I climbed onta the bed an sat up on the other end wit me back te the headboard an took up me comics te read. Me ma stoked the fire wit the poker an put on a bit of coal. The room had gone a bit dark, an I looked at the winda, an it was startin te pour wit rain. I was glad I was lovely an cosy sittin on the bed wit me comics, an the room was lovely an warm. Teddy an Charlie had the chairs on their sides, an they were playin cowboys an injuns, an they were shootin each other wit their fingers. Me ma was washin up in the scullery. There was a knock at the door, an I jumped up an opened it. Jimmy handed me back the plate. It was shinin clean. Me ma poked her head outa the scullery. ‘Are ye all right, son?’ she said te Jimmy.

  ‘Yes, Mam! Me ma said te tell ye tha was the nicest bit a grub we’ve had in a lifetime, an she says thanks very much. She hopes ye didn’t leave yerself short, so she does.’

  ‘Not at all!’ me ma said. ‘We enjoyed it, too. Tell her I’ll see her later, when I get the childre down fer the night.’

  ‘OK, Mrs! I’ll tell her. See ya!’ he said te me, an I shut the door an picked up me comic again.

  ‘Ye’re dead,’ Charlie roared, pushin Teddy down. ‘I’m still alive, so I won.’

  ‘Bold!’ Teddy roared back, an spit at Charlie, but it only dribbled down his chin.

  ‘I’m not playin no more wit you,’ Charlie screamed. ‘An gimme the chair, I sawed it first!’

  ‘Ah!’ screamed Teddy, an tried te bite Charlie’s head, but he ended up wit dirty mouthfuls of hair an let go, makin an awful face.

  ‘Right! Tha’s it!’ me ma said. ‘Come on, ye’s are either playin together in peace an quiet or ye’s can go te bed.’

  I took no notice. I was now a champion ice skater wit ‘Zelda’, the girl who never gets any older, even though she’s hundreds of years old an lives her life in an ice cave. I got carried away an was feelin the cold livin in a cave. I looked up te see the fire blazin. Ah! This is the life, I thought, shakin meself wit comfort.

  ‘I won’t be long,’ me ma said as she went out the door. ‘I’m only callin te Mrs Dunne fer a while.’ Teddy an Charlie jumped up an tried te follow. ‘No!’ she said, pushin them back inta the room. ‘You stay here. I want a bit a peace without youse,’ an she shut the door. They jumped up an down screamin.

  ‘Come on,’ I said. ‘Let’s play school,’ an I put me comics under the mattress, te keep them from harm. ‘Now sit on yer chairs an say after me, one an one is two!’ I held up me two fingers. ‘How many is tha, Charlie?’

  ‘Eh! I don’t know.’

  ‘It’s two, ye gobshite! Ye have te know how te count when ye start school, or the teacher will kill ye.’

  ‘I’m not playin,’ Charlie roared.

  ‘All right, then, watch this,’ I said. ‘If I give ye a sweet in this hand, an I give ye one in the other hand, how many sweets will ye have?’

  ‘Two!’ Charlie laughed.

  ‘Right,’ I said. ‘Now! How many is this?’ An I held up me two fingers again.

  ‘I don’t know,’ Charlie said.

  ‘Ah! You’re pure stupid,’ I roared, losin me rag.

  Then there was a knock on the door, an Jimmy poked his head in. ‘Me ma said te give ye these. They’re broken biscuits,’ an he held up a rolled newspaper, shaped like a cornet, an held it out.

  While I was still lookin, Charlie grabbed the biscuits, an Teddy an himself was fightin te get at them. The paper tore, an the biscuits flew everywhere. Charlie was down on his knees, grabbin all he could an stuffin them in his mouth. I fell te the floor, tryin te pick them up, an Charlie had a handful, an Teddy was screamin, cos he got nothin. ‘Ye hungry bastard!’ I screamed at Charlie, lungin fer his mouth te stop him eatin the lot. An he clamped his teeth down on me hand tha was caught in his mouth. The babby woke up red-faced an was cryin.

  ‘Ah, there’s no peace fer the wicked!’ me ma laughed, rushin in.

  ‘Ah, no! Don’t be takin his bit a comfort!’ Mrs Dunne said te me. ‘Let him be an enjoy his few biscuits.’

  ‘But we got none, an he bit the hand offa me!’ I cried.

  ‘Serves ye right fer shovin yer hand inta his mouth. I saw ye!’ Mrs Dunne said, laughin. Charlie gave a bit a biscuit te Teddy, te keep him from screamin, an ran inta the scullery te hide an guzzle wha was left. I could hear him laughin an talkin te himself. I was ragin, but I couldn’t run at him, cos I’d only make an eejit of meself wit Mrs Dunne watchin. Ye’re not supposed te be givin yer senses te somebody who’s a lot younger than ye.

  Me ma put the water on te boil fer the tea, an then she fried bread fer us. It was heaven. The brown jelly from the drippin was still on the fried bread, an it tasted like the roast beef we had today. This is the best day we’ve ever had. It was like a feast. An I put Teddy te bed, an me ma sat on the chair by the fire, feedin a bottle a tea te Harry, an he dozed in comfort on her lap. Charlie climbed inta the inside of the bed, beside the wall, an I put Teddy in beside him.

  ‘Ask Mrs does she want te come over fer a sup a tea!’ me ma said te me, an she lifted Harry over
te the bed. He had dozed off now, an the bottle was stickin outa his mouth. An me ma took it out an put it on the table, puttin him gently down at the top of the bed an coverin him up.

  I knocked on Mrs Dunne’s door, an she said, ‘Right, childre, I’m on me way. I’ll just see te the fire, an I’ll be over.’

  Me ma was puttin two cakes out on the big plate fer Mrs Dunne’s tea, an I climbed inta bed, pullin out me comics from under the mattress. I was readin an listenin te the murmur of voices, of me ma an Mrs Dunne talkin quietly te each other, sittin on their chairs in front of the fire. An I put me comics away under me pilla an closed me eyes tha were very heavy now, an snuggled under the blankets an coats, feelin warm an snug, an enjoyin the peace an comfort.

  24

  I looked at the thrupenny bit in me hand, feelin the weight of it. I saved it up, doin all the messages fer the neighbours. I wanted te buy pipe cleaners te put in me hair te curl it. I couldn’t wear me lovely new frock until I had me hair done in big massive curls like Shirley Temple. We got a load a lovely good clothes when we knocked on a door on Phillipsburg Avenue on the way back from collectin the bread at the convents. The woman was a lovely person altogether. She looked at us fer a minute, thinkin, an said, ‘Do you know? I’ve just done a clear out, and I might have clothes that will fit you. Wait there!’ an she went in, leavin the door open a little, an me ma an me looked at each other an laughed wit excitement.

  She came out wit a big bundle of clothes. Trousers an jumpers, coats an hats, shoes, vests an knickers. ‘They’d fit me brothers grand!’ I was sayin, lookin at them. The woman was smilin an helpin me ma te put them in the pram. An me ma was very happy an sayin, ‘God bless ye, Lady. Ye’re a very kind person.’

  The woman looked at me an said, ‘I have a daughter about your age, and I have some clothes that will fit you. She’s grown out of them now.’ An she came back wit a load of clothes fer me. I got navy-blue knickers, socks an brown leather sandals, an I dropped down te the ground an whipped them on me, an they were a grand fit. The frock was dark-blue heavy cotton, wit an underskirt attached te make it stand out, an I’d be able te twirl in it. It had a lovely lace collar, an I stroked it, not believin me eyes. It was so lovely! She gave me a wool gaberdine coat wit a belt, an a black beret hat. The wool was so soft, I couldn’t wait te wear them. I’m goin te be mistaken fer a spy when I wear the hat an coat. Cos tha’s what all the spies wear in the fillums.