A Mommy for Christmas

by Cathy Gillen Thacker

  “I know that.” Her soft, pretty lips tightened in frustration, her expression far too nonchalant to be believed. “I also know we’ve both got way too much on our plates, as is, to make this work on even a semiregular basis. And frankly—” she paused to set her palette and brush down, then clamped a hand on the back of her neck, looking surprisingly jittery and ill at ease “—I just—” she shook her head, struggling to explain her dismay “—there was something almost seamy about the way it felt, heading for a hotel room in the middle of the day.”

  Travis became calmer as her emotions rose. “Had we actually hooked up and made love, that would not have been the case,” he insisted. He would have treated her with the tenderness and care she deserved. Better, frankly, than anyone ever had.

  Holly gave him a look that spoke volumes. Travis noted she was both more beautiful than he had ever realized, and more fragile. “Suppose we had met someone we knew in the lobby or on the elevator?” she challenged. “How do we explain? The potential for embarrassment is enormous!”

  Travis admitted he didn’t want anyone else guessing at his private affairs, either. The fact they’d felt they had to go to a hotel to achieve any real intimacy whatsoever wasn’t good. “Then what do you suggest we do?” he asked, his own frustration rising. “You’ve already said you don’t feel comfortable making love when all the kids are under the same roof, for obvious reasons. Last weekend demonstrated that they’re too young for sleepovers anywhere but our own two houses. You don’t want to go to a hotel…” His voice trailed off. He waited for her to make the next call, since she was the one coming up with all the excuses.

  She shrugged as her natural wariness kicked in, and turned away from him. “That’s just it. Maybe we shouldn’t be doing this.”

  Travis watched her pace the nursery, hurt warring with the disappointment within him. He knew they weren’t in love with each other, but he did love her, and he had been looking forward to feeling even closer to her. He couldn’t believe, as potent as their first lovemaking encounter had been, that she would be nixing any further contact. He approached her, arms outstretched. “You don’t mean that.”

  She held up a hand, refusing to let him take her in his arms. “I do. I had an hour to think about it while I was waiting for you to show up, and I realized that first and foremost I’m a mom.” Deliberately, she kept her eyes on his. “If I was still married, still a wife, of course I’d be having sex on a regular basis. I’d be able to lock the bedroom door at night after my kids were asleep, and make love with my husband and feel great about it. But I’m not married. I’m a single mom with an example to set. Before we kissed…and my hormones got all stirred up again…I had successfully turned off that part of me. I was a happy celibate, Travis.”

  “So was I,” he countered gruffly. “Then.” Not now. Not knowing what they could have if only she’d meet him halfway!

  “The point is marriage is not an option for us,” she countered, looking just as determined as he felt.

  The hell it wasn’t, if that was what it took! “But maybe it should be,” Travis blurted.

  HOLLY STARED AT TRAVIS in astonishment. She’d thought the day could not get more surreal. She could not have been more wrong. She perched her hands on her hips. “You can’t seriously be suggesting we get married just so we can conveniently have sex with each other!”

  Undeterred, he continued impatiently, “Of course not. But we could get married because we have successfully formed a very nice partnership over the past several years, we enjoy each other’s company, our kids get along great, and we all love each other. As far as I’m concerned, those are very valid reasons for turning our situation into one big happy family.”

  That was all true and it was a very logical argument. “Except for one thing,” she countered.

  “And what’s that?” he demanded.

  “True love.” Although she had grown used to an existence without it, she could not believe he would ever be happy without it.

  Travis shrugged and continued to study her as if trying to figure something out. Finally, he said, “We’ve each already had the big romance. Yours didn’t work out. Mine ended prematurely. So—” he narrowed his eyes “—maybe we should do it differently this time. Base our union on friendship, shared goals, great sex and familial love.”

  Holly could be just as stubborn as he could, especially when he was being this exasperating. She looked away, her emotions in turmoil. “We can’t do that,” she said, wishing he didn’t look so damn good, despite his disheveled state.

  He swaggered closer. “Why not?”

  A distracting shiver swept through her. What would it take to make this man realize that her difficulties in the romance department were not his problem? Holly stilled him with an equally presumptuous look. “Because one of us might find another big love, and then that person is going to want to pursue it.”

  An awkward silence fell. Holly noticed, to her disappointment, that Travis didn’t deny the truth of her statement. He slid his gaze to the hollow of her throat, to her lips and then her eyes, all innocence once again. “I don’t want to give up on us,” he said finally.

  “I don’t, either,” she said firmly, watching as he rocked back on his heels. “I’m just saying we should go back to the way things were between us.”

  TRAVIS HADN’T GIVEN UP on the two of them intimately connecting again, although he knew Holly assumed he had. He was just waiting for everything to cool down before he resumed his quest to make love to her again. And from there…who knew what would happen? He’d thrown out the idea of marriage as a way of making her comfortable with the sexual component of their relationship. And he’d meant what he said, too. He could see them getting married and blending their two families, having life roll along more smoothly than ever before.

  In the meantime, he managed to get his SUV back, but had been forced to pay a steep fine and go to the impound lot to collect it. About a dozen problems had cropped up at the construction site in his absence, but he’d put all that off until tomorrow. This evening, as the six of them headed for the preschool show, all Travis wanted to focus on was the way it felt to have Holly and all the kids piled in his SUV, like the big happy family they still technically weren’t.

  While he drove, with the kids giggling in the back, Travis sneaked a peek at Holly in the passenger seat. She was wearing a white cashmere sweaterdress that hugged her slender frame, and white heels. Her golden-brown hair fell in a smooth, glossy line over her shoulders. A gold heart pendant nestled in the V of her dress, between her breasts. Her soft lips glistening with some sort of pink gloss, looked incredible, too. As if they were just begging to be kissed.

  Even as the rest of her told him no.

  The patient part of Travis knew he had to give her time.

  He hoped when she thought about all they could have together, if given the chance, she would keep the idea of marriage firmly planted in the back of her mind.

  This evening, however, he was happy just being with her and the kids. And his pride in his informal family intensified as he escorted them all inside the school. They looked so cute in their holiday clothes.

  The kids were deposited at their classrooms, as per preperformance instructions. Camera at the ready, Travis took his seat beside Holly at the end of one row. Picture taking was allowed, as long as the view of other parents wasn’t obscured. It was his plan to slip out of his seat at the appropriate times and take photos from a station against the wall. And snag as much time with Holly as he could while they waited.

  To his frustration, however, they had almost zero time to talk to each other. People kept stopping by to chat. At previous events, conversation had centered around the kids—theirs and everyone else’s. Tonight, talk reverted to the previous week’s news story involving the school, Santa, and one notoriously single dad in need of a wife….

  To his and Holly’s chagrin, everyone seemed to have a solution for his problem.

  “Love to intr
oduce you to someone you’d be perfect with….”

  “Have you heard of Foreverlove.com? I bet one of their matchmakers could help you find just the woman you’re looking for!”

  I’ve already found her, Travis thought. She just doesn’t want to be married to me, even though marriage would solve everything. Maybe his buddies were right. Maybe it was time to quit thinking about the risk of upsetting what they had, and stake a claim on the woman beside him.

  “I heard you’re one of the eligible men up for grabs Saturday evening,” the preschool fund-raising chairman said to him.

  Travis blinked. He had no clue what she was talking about.

  Holly turned to give him a questioning look, and suddenly, he had her full attention. Judging by the steely glint in her eyes, she was about as pleased with him now as she had been when he had shown up at Grady’s, to explain standing her up.

  He shrugged, letting her know he had no idea what the chairwoman had meant.

  The loquacious woman jogged his memory. “The silent auction at the Kimball Museum? It’s all over the news that you volunteered to be one of the successful, highly eligible men available for dates on New Year’s Eve. The organizers of the fund-raiser for the Baptist Children’s Home said they expect an evening with you to bring in some very big bucks! Anyway, congratulations on being asked to participate.” The ebony-haired flirt flashed a mischievous smile and winked. “If I weren’t married, I’d make a bid myself.”

  Holly watched the woman float off. “I just bet she would,” Holly muttered under her breath.

  Travis chuckled in amazement. “You sound jealous.” Another first!

  Holly harrumphed and didn’t reply. A second later, the lights dimmed twice—the signal the program was about to start. Everyone still standing took their seats. And Holly and Travis’s attention was diverted to the sweet sights and sounds of their children filing onto the stage in their holiday best.

  “DON’T YOU HAVE WOMEN to be fending off or something?” Holly asked Travis sweetly the following morning, when he appeared on her doorstep after dropping all four kids off at preschool.

  So she was jealous. Which could only mean one thing, Travis thought in satisfaction. Her feelings were getting as out-of-control as his. Determined to set a few things straight—while they had a moment alone—he strolled on in without waiting for an invitation.

  As he passed by her, he took in everything about her—the snug-fitting T-shirt and jeans that made the most of her slender frame. The loose updo that accentuated the graceful slope of her neck. The way the fragrant, womanly scent of her shampoo teased his senses.

  Wondering when he would ever stop wanting to kiss her every time he saw her, and when she would admit to wanting to do the same, he studied her a good long time. Then murmured in a tone meant to rile her up even more, “The bidding is Saturday night.”

  Temper mingled with the resentment in her aquamarine eyes. Her tongue snaked out to wet her lips before she made a cantankerous face and said mockingly, “And the anticipation builds.”

  He grinned, appreciating the delicious pout of her lips almost as much as the emotion she couldn’t hide. “You sound mad.”

  She tossed her head and glared at him. “I thought I was supposed to be jealous.”

  Unable to resist, he ribbed her a little more. “That, too.”

  She spun away. “I could care less!”

  He had a fine view of her backside as she strode into the small room off the foyer that served as her studio and home office, and headed for the satchel of paints and brushes she took to every job. He watched as she pulled out empty plastic containers, tossed them in the trash can and replaced them with others in the same pastel hues.

  “It’s none of my business who you choose to squire around on New Year’s Eve this year! Especially for such a good cause.”

  He knew she was lying through her teeth to save face. “I’m glad you feel that way,” he drawled.

  She shrugged. “I’m glad you’re glad.”

  Silence fell between them.

  Travis knew he had to do what he’d come over there to do—end the tension between them and make peace. “For the record, I didn’t know that was what I was volunteering for.”

  She exhaled slowly and kept her emotions veiled. “It really doesn’t matter.”

  Aware she was watching him every bit as carefully as he was watching her, he told her the truth. “It does.”

  Holly worried her bottom lip with her teeth. “Why?”

  He stepped closer. This time she didn’t move away. “Because I don’t want you to think I want to spend time with any woman but you.”

  Her lips pressed together in the stubborn pout he was beginning to know so well. Those lips he was determined to kiss again—and again. “We’re not committed to each other,” she reminded him.

  And yet he still wanted her so badly, he ached.

  Travis adjusted his stance to ease the pressure building at the front of his jeans. “Well, maybe we should be.”

  She tilted her head suspiciously. “Are you still talking about marriage?”

  “I haven’t given up on that,” he told her stubbornly.

  She resented the competitive edge to his voice. “This isn’t a challenge to be won!”

  Wasn’t it? Travis couldn’t think of anything—or anyone—he had ever wanted more. He moved closer still, his heart filling with a depth of feeling he didn’t expect. Yet, for her sake, he struggled to keep his tone casual. “A challenge? Like winning a damsel’s heart?”

  She flashed him a look that let him know he was pushing her too hard, too fast. “You’ve been watching too much bad TV.”

  “I haven’t watched any,” he told her gruffly, unable to stop himself when they had wasted so much time already. “And I don’t need a script written by someone else to tell me what I want.” He anchored his palms at her waist and watched her eyes widen.

  “Travis!”

  As he had figured, she had all her defenses up. That buffer crumbled the moment his mouth made contact with hers. She softened against him, allowing him to deepen the kiss. He nuzzled the side of her neck, finding the nerve endings just beneath her ear.

  She moaned quietly. “I am supposed to be going to work.”

  He kissed her again and found her lips warm and sweet. “I’m sure Alexis and Grady will understand if the mural takes one more day.”

  She opened her mouth to the plundering pressure of his, and recklessly let herself yield. “That’s not the point,” she protested.

  Travis had thought the first few times they had kissed had been amazing; their lovemaking wildly erotic. But that was nothing compared to how she felt in his arms right now—pure and hot and sensual beyond all reason. She kissed him with a yearning and an impatience that seemed to come straight from her soul. “You’re right—it’s not,” he whispered back, pausing to look into her eyes. “The point is I want you and you want me and Christmas is all about giving.” He caught her lower lip between his teeth, worried it gently. “And what I want to give you is pleasure….”

  She shivered in response, then released a shaky laugh. “Anyone ever tell you that you’re relentless?”

  Travis swung her into his arms and headed up the stairs. “In going after what I want? All the time,” he confided, the intoxicating scent of her filling his senses. Gently, he lowered her onto her neatly made bed and dropped down to join her. “It’s that kind of drive that’s gotten me where I am today in business.” He eased a hand beneath the hem of her T-shirt, gently caressing her ribs. “And what will get me where I want to be in my personal life, too.”

  He didn’t say where that was, Holly noted, as they began to kiss again. And as they undressed with the same painstaking slowness as before, she wasn’t sure she cared.

  She had thought she could live the rest of her life without making love ever again. She had told herself that the love of her children and friends was enough. She didn’t need any man to charge in and take com
mand—in the bedroom or out. And she stuck to that easily, except when Travis was around. Then, it was impossible, especially when he kissed her and touched her and possessed her as if they had always been slated to be together. He made her feel as if the future was theirs for the taking. All she had to do was muster the courage to see where this fierce physical attraction between them led.

  And that wasn’t hard to do when his tongue was stroking hers, his hands were slipping beneath her, the powerful muscles of his chest were abrading her breasts. As he flattened her against him, she could feel the tingly heat spreading through her and she threw her whole heart into the steamy embrace. Morning sunlight streamed in through the blinds, bathing their bodies in a luminous glow. And still she couldn’t get enough of him. The taste of his skin, the hardness of him, the heat.

  Kisses poured out of them, one after another. Feelings built. And then there was no more waiting. Travis was parting her thighs with his knee, making sure she was as ready as he, and then they were one. Desire exploded in liquid, melting heat. She surged against him, moved with him, feeling sexier, more adventurous than she ever had in her life. The kisses stopped. Their eyes locked. She had never felt more beautiful than at that moment, seeing the admiration in his gaze. Never been more aware of the power one man and one woman together could feel. Never wanted anything to endure more.

  And then he lowered his mouth and they kissed again, as if this and this alone would save them. And as they soared together to new heights, Holly knew Travis was right about one thing—what they had discovered in each other was a very special gift.

  Afterward, he cuddled her close and said with distinctly male satisfaction, “Tell me you didn’t enjoy that.”

  Pressed against him as she was, Holly reveled in the feel of warm smooth skin and firm muscle. He kissed her once more, slowly at first, then hotter, harder, deeper.

  “Tell me you don’t want to do it again.”

  She opened her mouth to the pressure of his, tangling her tongue with his, using the sweet suction of her lips and the roaming ministrations of her hands to drive him wild, too. “You know I can’t.”