Changing Us

by Brooklyn Taylor

  “That has nothing to do with this.”

  “No, it doesn’t. I am not going to spend valuable time arguing with a woman over something I don’t need. We have everything we need, and …”

  “But you deserve it.”

  “Deserve? Who cares what I deserve … I want to live for what I love, and what is important. And that isn’t. You will make a good living teaching, and I will get a job in Humble with a good salary. You have a trust we can use if things get too bad, and Terry and Carol will help with anything we ever need. They are very well off …”

  “They are?” He looked at me in shock.

  “Yes, but that’s not the point. The point is that I am not going to waste time arguing over something I don’t care about. I want to fight the fights worth fighting.”

  “You might be the only person on earth to say that, baby.”

  I moved toward him, and he lightly kissed me on the nose and then moved to my lips.

  I put my arm around his shoulder and held it there while we finished our kiss.

  “Ford … we are what matter. Screw everything else.”

  “Let’s get back home.”

  “Let’s.”

  He took my hand and led me to his truck.

  Yes, Ford was the only thing I wanted and needed. And I wouldn’t think of a time without him here with me because, to me, I could no longer exist.

  Ford

  We decided to get food on the way out, so we didn’t have to stop the rest of the trip home. We both wanted to get home and put this behind us as fast as possible.

  Elise would have to wait until she heard back from her pathetic mother’s lawyer and then make her next move. She didn’t say it, but I knew she was hurting from it. I didn’t think a person ever got sick of being hurt by someone they loved, especially a parent. I know I never did with my father. Completely different scenario, yes you could say that.

  Top Notch was a Liberty “tradition” with the best burgers and onion rings that apparently Elise missed. We had visited it the last time we came to her old town.

  I held the door and walked into the fast food restaurant, thinking nothing of it. All eyes were on us as we walked to get in line, and it wasn’t a good thing. I wasn’t sure if it was because they didn’t recognize us or that they recognized Elise. Either way, I wanted to turn around and walk out. Don’t get me wrong; I wasn’t worried about me. I’d never been one to run away from a confrontation, but I knew that Elise was only going to be able to handle so much, and I didn’t want to add this to her plate.

  We seemed to rarely find a little piece of solitude. No matter where we were, something happened to sideswipe us, giving us another battle. Between my seizures, my illness, her mother, and the tension we had between each other, the bridge would break.

  The only question was when.

  She acted oblivious to them staring and ordered her burger and shake with a side of onion rings. I followed suit and ordered the same thing.

  We walked over to the side of the counter to wait for our to-go order when a man walks up in a uniform, a police uniform.

  He had a shit-eating grin on his face and stood with his chest puffed out as to intimidate me. I knew immediately who it was without looking at his name tag.

  “Elise …” I felt her tense up and grab my hand before turning away from him.

  “Bryan, there isn’t anything to say. Would you just get lost?”

  “I wanted to be properly introduced to your husband. I don’t think there is anything wrong with that, so don’t be such a bitch about it.”

  I balled my fists up and was ready to punch him, maybe rough him up a little as he deserved.

  Elise leaned in to me and whispered while Bryan observed, trying to compute what was going on.

  “Don’t do anything, Ford. I know you want to hit him, but he would only get you arrested. Let’s just get our order and get out of here.”

  I nodded, signaling that I understood what she said, but that didn’t mean I would listen. Patience and tolerance, he wasn’t worth it.

  When Bryan reached for my wife, that was when all hell broke loose.

  He placed his hand on her shoulder and held it there for a beat longer than anyone ought to have the right to especially a man who had violated her previously. He had scared her, robbed her of something that she could never get back.

  “Take your hand off my wife,” I ordered while trying to sound calmer than I was. I had the upper hand as far as I was concerned. Jail? Who the fuck cares if you mess with my wife.

  “Your wife was being rude when I was trying to talk to her. I guess since moving out of Liberty, she has lost all her manners.”

  “Number seventy-two is ready.”

  Our food was placed on the counter, and Elise went to grab for it.

  Backing up and getting ready to put my arm around my wife, Bryan stood between us, clearly not letting this go.

  I stand a good three inches taller than he was, and even sick, I was in better shape than he seemed to be. Maybe the donuts had gotten him in trouble over the years. I remembered Elise saying he played football, but with the shape he was in now, it was hard to believe.

  I got chest to chest with him, and we were looking eye to eye with all the customers watching to see what would happen. I had no intention of throwing the first punch, but if the prick hit me, it was on.

  I looked down at him slightly and made sure he was paying attention to my lips. “Do not ever touch my wife again. We both know what you did to her, and if you come anywhere close to her … I mean within six feet of her, I will beat the shit out of you.”

  “Ha. You want to beat up a cop? I’ll throw your ass in jail so quickly, your head will spin.”

  “I want to beat up a rapist who happens to hide behind his badge. And for Elise, I will go to jail in a heartbeat.”

  “How romantic,” he sarcastically remarked, looking disguised.

  “Try me, Bryan … Any day, any time.” I backed away from him but kept an eye on him to make sure he didn’t take a cheap shot. He didn’t, but not for his lack of wanting to. Maybe he was a coward, or maybe he knew I would bring up his past with Elise, and he definitely wouldn’t want that brought up.

  We walked out the door, and I helped Elise in the truck all the while keeping an eye on my back just to make sure Bryan was nowhere to be found.

  “You okay, sweetheart?” I asked her, seeing the fear in her eyes.

  “Yeah. Let’s just get the hell out of here.”

  I walked around to the driver side of the truck and hesitated to jump right in. I wanted to hit him more than I have ever wanted to hit anyone in my life. I hated him more than I have ever hated another person.

  I sat behind the wheel and looked over at Elise to make sure she was okay.

  She hit the lock on the doors, and I shook my head and reached for her hand.

  “You know I would never let anyone hurt you, don’t you?”

  She looked at me, listening to me, and I could see the trust in her eyes.

  “I didn’t want you to hit him and get taken away from me. I mean, I wanted you to hit him … God, did I want you to hit him and knock him on his ass, but I didn’t want you to go to jail. He would have taken you in, and if he didn’t, his friends would. He always traveled with a group, and from the guys sitting at the table, I see things haven’t changed.”

  “I don’t care about that.”

  “But I care.”

  I smiled at her, hoping to bring a smile to her face. Elise was beautiful, but when her smile hit her face, she was mesmerizing.

  “For the record, if he would have hit me, I would have hit him back … in self-defense, of course. And I would have kept hitting him till he was crying like a bitch for all the things he did to you … put you through.”

  “Ford … just when I think I can’t love you any more, you say something that makes me see how much you love me.”

  I kiss her hand and look back at her face.

 
“I love you, baby. And if you think me fighting for you is romantic, I could do it anytime you want. Anything you want.”

  “Don’t get crazy, Rocky.” She smiled and let out a brief laugh.

  “Let’s get back to Humble so we can crawl in our bed.”

  “Don’t have to tell me twice.” I pulled out of the parking lot, ready to leave the town in the dust.

  Elise didn’t belong there any longer; she belonged with me in Humble.

  Chapter 10

  Elise

  Shay called me tonight out of the blue. I always welcomed her calls and missed her, but I also knew that she was busy living her spontaneous life, and I didn’t necessarily fit into it. I was okay with that because I was the exact opposite of Shay. I hadn’t heard from her since she surprised me that night, which happened to be one of the worst nights of my life.

  “It’s almost your birthday!” Shay said with excitement.

  “Yeah, it is. Not too thrilled about it this year with the crap that keeps getting laid on me.”

  “What else has happened?”

  “Ford … and then my mom is suing me for the money Thad left for me, and on top of that, I ran into Bryan.”

  “Why didn’t you call me?”

  “For what purpose? I get so sick of hearing myself talk sometimes … Terry and Carol have been around listening, and it has been a huge relief.”

  “I would have been there for you, Elise.”

  “I know you would have.”

  “What is going on with Ford?” she asked, and I hesitated to speak of it.

  “He has a brain tumor,” I said and then hated how the words felt on my tongue. Tumor. Such a hideous word that had nothing good coming out of it.

  “Elise … I had no idea. Is there anything I can do?”

  “No, but I sure wish there was … Can we just change the subject?”

  “You think Ford will take you to the pier again this year?”

  “Not sure … I hope he does because it is our thing, but Ford isn’t exactly the same guy right now.”

  “Well, no matter what, he is the Ford who loves you. Always has, always will.”

  “Thanks, Shay. I needed to hear that. So did you need something?”

  “No … well, kind of. I miss Luke.”

  “So call him.”

  “I did … left a message and texted but no response.”

  “When was the last time you talked to him?”

  “Been a while. Have y’all talked to him? I figured Ford might have talked to him.”

  “I think once.”

  “Can you let me know if you hear from him?’

  “Sure.” Ford had told me that Luke had moved on, finding a girl who wanted to settle down. The exact thing Shay didn’t want. It wasn’t my place to say, and I had no intention of reporting what I knew although she was my best friend. That was Luke’s job.

  “Are you in …?” I ask.

  “I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore. I have been living here now for almost three years, and I am ready to come home. Shay Hayes wants to come home and be with her old boyfriend.”

  “What?” I was completely shocked.

  “That doesn’t sound like me, does it?”

  “It sounds like you are growing up.”

  “Glad you waited around for me. Happy early birthday.”

  “Thanks.”

  “And remember, I am here for you to talk to. Just pick up the phone and call.”

  “I hope I don’t have anything to call and discuss.”

  Ford

  Every year without fail, I tried to take Elise to the first place I took her for her birthday—our pier. It wasn’t an official commercial pier, but rather one that had started to fade with the rising water. I had even talked to Terry about seeing how we could get it repaired because I didn’t want to let it fall.

  Every twelve months, I brought her here. Sometimes, it was with a picnic of her favorite meal—lasagna, two breadsticks not one and a dessert, cheesecake. Sometimes with her favorite glass of wine that she only drank on special occasions, vowing to never be a person who wanted to drink on a regular basis.

  I didn’t blindfold her any longer because it wouldn’t do any good. She knew exactly where I was taking her, and the look on her face always told me it was exactly where she wanted to be.

  We pulled up to the drive that faced our spot, and she turned to me with a smile.

  I had her smile burned into my memory forever. When I was in pain or feeling especially down, I thought of it and the way her lips perfectly showcased her pearly whites.

  She immediately opened the door and headed toward our spot but stopped before walking down it and turned to me.

  She smiled and took my hand as we continued to walk with me slightly behind her steps.

  At the end of the pier, we stopped, and I laid the blanket down as she looked out at the water. Elise didn’t turn around to see when I had it in place, but instead, she just took her seat and extended her legs, not taking her eyes off the waves of the water.

  I glanced at her legs then her face before returning to the water.

  “This is the best place on earth, you know that?” She said quietly as to not disturb the surroundings.

  “Anywhere on earth is the best when you are there.”

  She looked at me with the words in her eyes that spoke volumes although I knew she would speak them too. Elise was never short on words when it came to telling me how she felt.

  “Ford, every year we come here, and every year it is perfect. And this year, knowing we’re married only makes it even more special. I love you. I don’t know what I ever did to get you in my life, but I don’t want you to go anywhere ever.”

  “I’m not going anywhere …” I uttered the words, but just as I said them, I knew I couldn’t promise that. And Elise knew I couldn’t.

  Elise stood, and I watched, waiting to see what she was doing.

  “You ready to eat?”

  She shook her head, looking as sexy as she did sweet. A woman who was class and sophistication yet as tempting and brass.

  She slipped her shirt over her head, and I stared intensively, taking in whatever she was doing.

  She threw her shirt, letting it hit me in the face, and I inhaled the soft t-shirt that was covered in her perfume.

  Elise unclipped her bra and put on a show for me by not letting me see anything but her hands covering her as she slowly turned around still wearing her shorts.

  I stood to meet her gaze, not taking my eyes off her.

  She smiled wickedly and then lifted my shirt up as I matched her smile.

  Throwing my shirt to the ground, she moved her breasts against my chest and kissed me, taking control of the situation.

  “Happy Birthday, Elise.”

  “Thank you.” She kissed me one more time before backing away and slipping out of her shorts and thong as I watched her every. single. move and then as she jumped into the water.

  It took me a half of a second before I followed suit to be with my wife.

  Happy birthday to me too. The black fog had been lifted for a little bit today, and I was grateful for this short time to feel alive.

  Ford

  I had arrived at Rockwell Neurosurgical for my appointment. I would have rather just skipped it or pretend I didn’t have it.

  I knew that wasn’t realistic although that didn’t stop me from trying. Between Elise, Dr. Pelker, and Dr. Chen, that would not happen.

  Dr. Pelker walked in not long after I had been sitting in his office and started to go over a checklist of things. It was the same list every time to determine how bad my symptoms were and then a brief exam by looking in my eyes and feeling my lymph nodes. Luckily, Dr. Chen had already briefed him, too.

  I had gotten my MRI two days prior so he would have the results before I came into his office.

  “How do you feel you are holding up?”

  “I think you already know, don’t you?” I told him more th
an asked.

  “Your MRI probably reflects the way you are feeling, unfortunately. How is the depression? Rate it on a scale of one to ten,” he asks.

  “Probably a twelve most days. Not good. I honestly don’t feel like myself anymore. I’ve had a couple of times I had to hold it together for Elise for things that I had to be there for her, but it took everything in my body to do it.”

  He walked around his desk and sat behind it, leaning slightly back in his chair to make it seem more casual than sitting with his back up straight.

  “I would advise you to consider the surgery, Ford. I know you don’t want to, but …”

  “I am not ready yet. I still have hope the radiation is going to help.”

  “Unfortunately, I think it would have already helped if it was going to. It is not shrinking the tumor, and at this point, Dr. Chen and I both agree that chemo should be reserved for after the surgery.”

  He looked down at his desk where my chart lay open.

  “How is Elise holding up, and are you letting her weigh in on the decision of whether to proceed with the surgery?”

  “I haven’t discussed it with her further and won’t. I want to try everything before. You yourself said that the surgery was very risky, and we could try radiation first and then chemo.”

  “You are correct, Ford, I did. But—”

  “I need more time. I need to get things lined up.” I stood in front of his desk, but I would not be there for long.

  “I had hoped you would bring Elise with you to this office visit so we could discuss—”

  “Look, Dr. Pelker, let me lay it out for you. I do not want to make this any harder on her than it already is. It is …”

  “This is not my first rodeo, son. I have done thousands of surgeries.”

  “Elise has already watched me be sick as a dog from the radiation, not able to eat, so tired all I want to do is sleep, and when I do hold it together, I know she knows it is an act. With all due respect, Dr. Pelker, I haven’t, and so yes, maybe I am fucking afraid and hesitant. To me, this is my life, not yours. I’m not doing the surgery yet. I can’t.”

  I turned to walk out after the look on his face was as if I had transformed into an alien. I knew his look because I had seen that look on my face in the mirror. I didn’t recognize myself, so it was understandable that he didn’t.