What in heaven’s name am I doing here? Gage wondered as he felt every eye turn his way while Justin looked up at him in glee. “Gage!” he said loudly, eliciting a chuckle from a few adults behind them along with a glare or two from people in front.
“Hey, Justin,” he said lightly, pleased that Valerie’s son had finally called him by name. He also acknowledged his own son before he glanced nervously in all directions, half-expecting someone to tell him he didn’t belong here.
And he didn’t. The only times Gage had been inside an LDS chapel in the past four years was for his niece’s and nephews’ baby blessings. Even while feeling a little out of place when every other male member of his family stood to join the circle, he’d managed to squelch his anxiety. His attendance had only been the fulfillment of a family obligation.
But this time was different. He’d chosen to come because of one beautiful female who’d captured his attention in his youth. If the stark look of sadness that had come over Valerie’s face when he declined her invitation to church was designed to make him feel guilty, it had worked. He never wanted to see that look cross her face again. She’d already been rejected by her ex-husband. Gage wasn’t about to be the cause of any more pain in Valerie’s life. Maybe that wasn’t the best reason for attending sacrament meeting, but here he was. With his sweating palms, Gage turned to Valerie with a full-fledged smile. “Mind if I sit here?”
Valerie said nothing but only stared. Maybe coming to church hadn’t been such a good idea after all.
But when her face broke out into a wide grin, all his doubts were swept away. Any discomfort he had to suffer through would be worth it to be the recipient of that beautiful smile. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d encountered trouble in the form of a gorgeous blonde.
But this time, there was a lot more at stake. And if he wanted to win the prize, he’d have to spend some serious time on his knees.
“So you decided the haircut could wait?” Valerie asked as they exited the chapel with the boys. She was still recovering from the shock of seeing him there along with the strain of holding her head high amid the entire ward’s stares.
Gage leaned forward, smiling nervously while managing to still look adorably handsome. “Yeah. Let’s just say that my conscience has been giving me a hard time lately. Sorry I couldn’t find a white shirt. Is that why everyone is staring at me?” His flirtatious wink gave him away.
She shook her head, not minding his teasing so much anymore. “No, it’s because they’re wondering if you’re my newest love interest.”
“Newest?” He caught onto that word. “As in more than one?”
Valerie groaned. “As in no one,” she retorted. “Oh, look. Here comes the bishop. Hello, Bishop Gregory.”
Valerie’s bishop shook her hand, glancing quizzically at Gage. “Good morning, Sister Hall. I see you’ve brought a visitor today.”
“Um, yes. This is my friend, Gage Logan. He’s Zach’s father,” she said, identifying him with a sideways nod, “the boy I’ve been bringing to church for the past month.”
“Ah, yes. Hello. I’m Bishop Gregory,” he told Gage, extending his arm. “It’s nice to meet you.”
Gage returned the greeting and then turned to Valerie. “I’d better be going.”
She wished he would stay. She kept her smile in place even as a feeling of disappointment slid over her once again. “Okay. Thanks for coming. The boys were happy to see you.”
Gage arched his brows at her as if to ask, Just the boys?
Okay, so she’d been happy too. Thrilled, actually. Valerie backed away from his scrutiny, claiming truthfully that she was going to be late for Primary. Gage released his grip on Justin’s hand to allow her to escort both boys down the hall.
“I’ll see you at home,” he called out to her.
Her cheeks burned as she turned an icy glare on him. Gage must not have realized how domestic he sounded, and right in front of the bishop too! “All right,” she hissed, albeit sweetly. “We’ll bring Zach to your home as soon as we’re finished.”
She groaned in frustration. She hadn’t missed Bishop Gregory’s speculative gaze on her as she turned away.
Fire and ice. When they came from a woman, they were one and the same. How could something that had sounded so right to Gage’s ears come out sounding so wrong to Valerie’s? Her quick intake of breath and glacial glare had been the tip of the iceberg, letting him know that his careless comment rattled her. Before she could escape, Gage caught her arm and leaned over to whisper in her ear. “So am I?”
“Are you what?” she whispered back impatiently.
“Your newest love interest.”
Yep, the glacial glare she’d given him had, in fact, only been a tiny icicle compared with the frigid storm he now saw brewing in her blue depths. “In your dreams, Logan!” she ground out before turning away.
Gage grinned. The mind-numbing kiss he’d stolen from her not too long ago had plagued him ever since, especially since he could swear she’d kissed him back. They had chemistry, all right. If only Valerie was brave enough to acknowledge it, life would be good.
Slowly, he became aware of Valerie’s bishop still standing there, watching him very carefully. Suddenly, his collar felt too tight. Realizing that he’d better clear her name, he hurried to explain. “Valerie is my son’s babysitter. We’ve known each other since childhood. She’s been helping me a lot lately.”
Bishop Gregory, with his tall build, graying hair, and angular face, could have passed for a defensive end ready to smash him, the opposing quarterback, had it not been for the smile that slid onto his face. “Care to visit with me in my office and enlighten me further?”
No, he didn’t care to do that at all. But he was the one who’d opened his big mouth. When would he ever learn? “I’m sure you have your ward members to take care of right now.”
“I have excellent counselors, Brother Logan. Delegation is a wonderful thing.”
Brother Logan? It had been a long time since anyone called him that. It sounded strangely comforting to Gage. “I wouldn’t want to take up too much of your time.” Not that he really felt a pressing need to confess his sins to this man, but he’d said it with the hope of putting him off.
Bishop Gregory’s smile stayed. “We can schedule another visit if needed. Valerie Hall has been through many trials in her young life, as I’m sure you are aware. She lives close to the Spirit. If you are truly her friend, then I feel certain she is praying for you.”
Gage’s breath quickened with the possibility. Was she really? Suddenly, he felt embarrassingly close to tears. He couldn’t believe the next few sentences that came out of his mouth. “Thanks. I just might take you up on your offer. Our conversation would remain confidential, right?” Gage knew that each bishop was obligated to keep confidentiality, but he was just testing him to be sure.
Bishop Gregory never flinched. “Of course.”
“What about Valerie? Would she know that I talked to you?”
“She’ll never hear it from me,” the bishop said easily. “My office is open. Right now is as good a time as any.”
Gage took a deep breath, sensing that he stood on that same precipice of time as Zerahemnah, suspended between the choice of continuing on the debilitating path he’d followed for almost a decade or turning his life to Christ once again. Taking a closer look at the bishop’s warm and friendly eyes, he decided.
“All right.”
Valerie was relieved to drop Zach off at Gage’s house. Her Primary class had been so rambunctious that she was out of energy. While driving home, Valerie was startled to hear Justin’s voice from the backseat. “Mom?”
“Yes, honey?”
“Gage will be my new dad.”
The car almost swerved off the road with his pronouncement. What? Where had that come from? Struggling to right the car before sideswiping another vehicle, Valerie pulled into the parking lot of a convenience store and cut the engine, ignoring the blast from t
he other driver’s horn.
“Justin,” she heaved, turning toward her son. “What did you say?”
“My dad doesn’t like me,” he said quietly.
Valerie’s heart constricted. Despite Justin’s lack of social skills, he was an incredibly intuitive child. How could she defend Nick when his actions spoke so plainly of his intolerance for their son?
Before she could think of a reply, Justin repeated, “Gage will be my new dad.”
Valerie opened her mouth to refute him when a soft, warm feeling overcame her. She sat still. “Are you sure?” She didn’t know if she was asking Justin or the Lord.
“Yes, Mom. Gage will be my new dad. And Zach will be my brother.”
His voice was so confident. Justin hadn’t said that Gage could be his new dad or that he would like for Gage to become his new dad. The assurance came in his calm demeanor, which for Justin, was an unusual occurrence in itself.
But if the Lord wanted her and Gage to make a blended family, a few miracles needed to occur, one involving Whitney’s acceptance of Gage and another involving Gage’s inactivity in the Church. In this, she wondered, would the Lord’s justice or mercy win out?
“How was work today?” Sarah Nielsen asked Gage as he and Zach sat down to eat with her and Eric later that evening. Feeling restless over Bishop Gregory’s encouragement to come to terms with his past, Gage had driven to their home to give Zach some time with them—and maybe himself some time to process everything that had happened today.
“I didn’t go to work,” he answered. “The team is playing in Atlanta this weekend.”
“I can never remember your schedule.” Sarah turned to her husband and asked, “Would you like another slice of cake, honey?”
Eric smiled back at her. “No, thank you, sweetheart.” Scooting his chair back, he stood and kissed her cheek. “Dinner was delicious. Why don’t you and Gage spend some time catching up while I load the dishwasher?”
Sarah beamed. “That sounds wonderful. Thank you, honey.”
Resisting the urge to roll his eyes at their infernal sweetness, Gage stood to face Eric and his mother before he lost his nerve. “Wait, Eric. I wanted to talk to both of you.” Eric slowly sat back down. Suddenly feeling nervous, Gage said without preamble, “I went to church with Valerie Hall today.”
A prolonged silence hung in the air until Sarah whispered, “You did?”
“Yeah.” Affecting an air of nonchalance, he grinned. “As you can see, I wasn’t struck by lightning.”
“That’s great, Gage,” Eric said. “What made you decide to go?”
Gage hesitated. “Mostly Valerie,” he answered honestly. “We’ve been talking a lot about the things we’re dealing with as parents. I didn’t realize we had so much in common.”
Sarah cocked her head. “Really?”
Gage nodded, giving her a brief summary of Valerie’s struggles in raising her children while comparing them with his.
“So how are things going with Zach?”
Gage knew that she had deliberately waited until Zach had found his way to the kids’ playroom before asking.
“He’s adjusting fairly well. He still misses April, but he likes being around Valerie’s kids.”
“He gets along with Justin all right?”
“According to Valerie, they play well together most of the time. He seems to sense Justin’s moods and knows when to back off.”
Sarah stared at him in wonder. “That’s amazing. I’m so glad that Zach can be a friend to him. They needed each other, didn’t they?”
As always, Gage was impressed by her insight. “Yes. And he needed Valerie. I think she’s filling a hole in Zach’s life that neither April nor I could.”
“And what about you?” she asked softly. “Is she filling the hole in your heart too?”
“What hole?” he said lightly, evading the question, though not very tactfully.
“Gage.” When she spoke his name like that, softly with a bit of impatience mixed in, Gage always knew she meant business. “You know what I mean.”
Of course he did, but he wasn’t sure what to tell her. When he’d been quiet for too long, Sarah prodded, “I think you knew that April was the wrong woman for you before you married her, but life had become one cyclone after another up to that point. You were unsure of what you wanted.”
“That’s true,” he admitted. “I went into that marriage simply looking for a good time.”
“Every marriage has its good times and bad. A good marriage turns the bad times into good. But it takes the right partner to make that happen.”
He hadn’t had that kind of partner. Valerie definitely hadn’t, either. They were both coming to a place in their lives where their focus was on raising good children—or in Valerie’s case, righteous children. When all was said and done, would Zach be left behind?
If they merged their love for their children with a mutual friendship and respect for each other, could a more meaningful relationship develop in time? Or would they always be too afraid to admit that that was what they wanted? “I care about Valerie and I want to see her happy again.”
There. He’d confessed his growing feelings for her. Gage swallowed, wondering what their reactions would be. As the bishop had pointed out, he and Valerie might have a great friendship, but where could a relationship for them lead? Nowhere until he was ready to change his life.
Much to his surprise, Sarah and Eric smiled. “I could hear your concern for Valerie in your voice when you spoke of her,” she divulged.
“Nothing can come of it. She’ll never go for a guy like me.”
“How do you know?” Eric asked.
“Valerie’s not going to settle for a Has-Been. Or Never Was. The best I can hope for is that she doesn’t end up with another guy like her ex.”
“So make the necessary changes in your life,” Eric instructed, as if that was all there was to it. “Time is on your side. If she wants another temple marriage, she’s going to have to get her sealing to her previous husband cancelled. You have time to work things out.”
Gage thought on Eric’s words. He was making changes, amazingly enough, a little at a time. He’d never thought that he would want to talk to another LDS bishop again, but Bishop Gregory had listened to Gage without judgment. Gage recalled his counsel to pray and read the scriptures to find out what Heavenly Father wanted him to do.
“One thing at a time,” Sarah cautioned, placing her hand on Gage’s shoulder. “Invite Valerie and her children to our family’s Fourth of July celebration. We’re holding it at Pierce and Noelle’s home, unless she goes into labor before then, of course. And Craig and Marissa should be there, too, depending on their travel plans. I would love to become reacquainted with Valerie. She was always a lovely girl. I’m sure her children would have a good time.”
Gage wasn’t sure of that at all. Judging by Whitney’s attitude toward Gage, she wasn’t thrilled with his sudden interest in her mom. And Justin . . . well, he really was a wild card, just as Valerie had described.
Time was a precious commodity, Valerie had heard Grandma Skylar say many times over the years. Her counsel to use it wisely rang through Valerie’s ears as if Grandma was standing right beside her. Grandma was always busy—if not in her garden, then in her kitchen canning the food she grew. If not cleaning the house, then washing the car. If not reading her scriptures, then preparing a lesson for church the following Sunday.
Despite the sage advice, Valerie sometimes wished the clock would reverse and she could do things over. Until recently, Whitney had always been a willing helper, but after visiting her dad, she was putting the brakes on whatever Valerie asked of her. She needed to get to the bottom of this now, especially since Whitney had just yelled at her over such a simple thing as being asked to help the boys pick up their toys.
Marching into Whitney’s room and shutting the door behind her, Valerie shifted her weight onto one hip, folding her arms expectantly. “What is going on, Whitney?�
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“I don’t know,” she said in a small voice.
“I think you do, honey. You’ve been angry lately, yelling at Justin when he does something you don’t like and calling Zach names when he asks a question that you think is silly. What has your dad been talking to you about?”
Whitney’s eyes grew big at the mention of her father. Valerie resisted the urge to sigh. Did her daughter honestly think that she didn’t know that this behavior stemmed from Nick?
“Daddy has a new girlfriend,” Whitney stated matter-of-factly.
Nick was seeing someone else? He hadn’t said anything about that the last time he’d called to talk to Whitney. “Oh? What’s her name?”
“Olivia.”
As Valerie sat down on the bed, she couldn’t resist asking, “What is she like?”
“She’s really pretty. She’s tall and has brown hair. She’s skinny. And she wears pretty clothes.” Valerie nodded, well aware of the fact that T-shirts and jeans had never been Nick’s preference of clothing for himself or her.
But that was neither here nor there. Valerie’s real concern was her daughter. “Is Olivia nice to you?”
Whitney seemed to hesitate before nodding. “She tells me I’m pretty. And smart.”
“That’s true, but sometimes people say nice things to convince others to like them. That’s called flattery. Be careful, sweetheart. It’s okay for you to like Olivia if she really wants to get to know you. All I ask is that you pay attention to other things about her too.”
Whitney scrunched her nose. “Like what, Mommy?”
“You have to listen to what a person is saying with not only your ears but also your heart. Sometimes, a person leaves out important words when he or she is talking to others because they want them to believe something that isn’t true. If you ever get a strange feeling about what the person is telling you, that’s the Holy Ghost telling you to not believe it. When we know what people really mean when they speak to us, it helps us to know what is right. I learned this lesson the hard way when I married your daddy.”
The Matchup Page 14
