Darcy's Passions

by Regina Jeffers

  “I do,” Bingley added uncertainly, “but I thought she returned my regard.”

  “I have more experience than you, Bingley,” Darcy continued, “in dealing with mothers trying to wed off their daughters to the first eligible bachelor who comes along. Miss Bennet appears to be schooled in such manners.You saw Mrs. Bennet’s behavior. Do you suppose Mr. Bennet, a landed gentleman, would make such an inappropriate match if Mrs. Bennet at one time or another did not know how to rein in her enthusiasm and seem to be a genial young woman? Now, look at how Mrs. Bennet’s behavior makes the Bennet family the laughingstock of the county. Their vulgar actions at your ball were a warning as to what you may expect if you align yourself with such a family. It is not acceptable to align oneself with a family whose poor connections affect others; you are not just making a choice for yourself, Charles; you are bringing all the Bennets into your family.Your family members are not used to such censure as what you may expect in this case.”

  Bingley became resigned to what he heard; he could have misjudged Jane Bennet’s attentions. Although Bingley agreed with Darcy and his sisters, he did not welcome the news, and Darcy noted Bingley, when others were not looking, stared off and seemed to be elsewhere in his mind. Darcy knew Bingley’s position well; he found himself ruminating over Elizabeth on more than one occasion. He replayed her accusations about Wickham; she only knew Wickham for a few days when she had known Darcy for nearly two months. Yes, Wickham had his charms, but how could she not see through to his character? Darcy was a man of standing. I do not get on at all. I hear such different accounts of you as puzzle me exceedingly. It did not take her so long to survey Wickham’s attributes! She used Darcy ill, deserted and disappointed him; and worse, she showed a weakness in her own character, which upon reflection he could not endure. She gave him up to oblige others. She allowed herself to be persuaded by Wickham’s “tales of woe.” How could she? But Darcy would master his feelings for this auburn-haired miss; however, even in doing so, he would feel no triumph—only the pity at having loved and lost would remain.

  The Festive Season in London never held the inducements for Darcy as those spent at Pemberley, but since the deaths of both of his parents, he could no longer bear to be at Pemberley at Christmas time. So, for the past five years, he and Georgiana spent their time at Kensington Place. This year, besides missing his parents, Darcy pined for Elizabeth Bennet. Even having Georgiana with him did not appease the emptiness he felt since leaving Netherfield, and try as he may, nothing erased the memory of her countenance.

  After the Christmas celebrations, Darcy forced himself back into society. He still spent many evenings with Bingley and his sisters, but where he once thought of Caroline’s civilities as refined, he now found them affected and boring. Darcy also made an effort to encounter other eligible young women in town, often calling on acquaintances and accepting more invitations than he was known to do. He once found a Miss Donnelly attractive, but then he was told her given name was “Elizabeth,” and he was lost once again into a revelry of depression. Georgiana’s company gave him some relief, but even she could not engage his attention with any degree of success. He finally gave up his pursuit of new social connections, allowing he just needed more time to find the solace he sought.

  In mid-January, despite the weather and the terrible condition of the roads, Darcy made a brief trip to Scotland to see firsthand some of the new agricultural methods being utilized in the Americas. He hoped to try such methods at Pemberley this upcoming planting season. Darcy could easily read about the methods, but going to examine the type of soil and the crops involved lent him a good excuse to be alone with his thoughts.

  Upon his return, he seemed more focused than he had been for months. Throwing himself into the business of improvements for Pemberley granted him relief from the contrasting memories, which haunted his idle hours.

  One evening just Darcy and his sister settled in at Kensington Place. Mrs. Annesley had the evening off to visit a beloved nephew. They took a light repast together and casually enjoyed each other’s company in the drawing room. Darcy partook of more brandy than he should; he was not drunk, but the warmth of the liquid lowered his defenses.

  “Will you travel to Kent to see our aunt at Easter?”

  “I will; our cousin arranged a reprieve from his military duties so we will be able to tackle our aunt’s many business issues together. It is not a trip to which I look forward. Our aunt can be so . . . ”

  “Demanding,” Georgiana added maybe a little too quickly.

  Darcy arched an eyebrow at his sister’s response; Georgiana had become more opinionated of late although she never expressed those opinions beyond her brother’s hearing. “Our aunt can be very solicitous. Has she said something to you, my dearest?”

  “It is just her usual reproofs to practice my music and to maintain the proper manners. Sometimes I resent her constant remarks. I know I should not feel these things about a beloved relative, but, honestly, Fitzwilliam, her rebukes are very upsetting.”

  “Our aunt can irritate even the most devout. Do not bother yourself with Lady Catherine’s many sentiments.”

  “Fitzwilliam,” she changed the subject, “was not Mr. Bingley satisfied with his estate in Hertfordshire?”

  “Why do you ask, my Dear?”

  “It is he just quit the estate on impulse it seems. Did something happen?”

  Darcy felt a bit uncomfortable knowing his part in removing Bingley from Netherfield. He shifted his weight, gulped down the last of the brandy, and poured himself another. “Bingley is such an impetuous young man,” he extended an explanation.

  “It is just,” Georgiana began shyly,“he speaks well of his short time there and expresses a fondness for the company of Miss Jane Bennet.”

  “Does he now?”

  “He seems so downcast. Is Jane Bennet not the sister of Elizabeth Bennet? Your letters from Netherfield mentioned her several times. I hoped when I read your letters if Mr. Bingley remained at Netherfield I could visit there. I thought I might like to meet Miss Elizabeth. It would be nice to have a friend such as you described. Do you think Miss Elizabeth could have seen me as an acquaintance she might like to make?”

  “I am sure of it,” Darcy began slowly. “I often considered the possibilities.”

  Georgiana’s interest perked up. Leaning forward and giving him her full attention, she asked, “Would you tell me about Miss Elizabeth?”

  Darcy held his glass of brandy to his lips, but he did not drink. Impressions of Elizabeth Bennet came so easily to him, as if he saw her but five minutes ago rather than it having been nearly eleven weeks. He began slowly, guarding his words, fearing to betray his susceptibility to the woman. “I believe I described Miss Elizabeth physically previously. Miss Elizabeth’s features are not as refined as her sister’s, but they tend to be more classical. Her eyes are the key to her soul, a quick note of what she really thinks. She says she loves to laugh, and I find her humor to be teasing in nature at times. I have not found many women with a more agreeable character. Everything is united in Elizabeth Bennet: she possesses a superior intelligence and good understanding; generally correct opinions, which she often expresses without regard to the time or the situation; and a warm heart. She demonstrates strong feelings of family attachment, without calculating pride or insufferable weaknesses. Miss Elizabeth judges for herself in everything essential.” Darcy stopped himself at this point, fearing he said too much.

  Georgiana sighed heavily when he paused. “Miss Elizabeth Bennet seems like the perfect mixture of sense and judgment. I hope some day I have the opportunity to make her my friend. I always wanted a friend such as you describe.”

  “It would be nice to see Miss Elizabeth again,” he said wistfully.

  Images of Elizabeth Bennet and Georgiana together at Pemberley invaded his dreams that evening. The images instantly created happiness without the misery, but when awake, Darcy could only dwell on the misery of such happiness.
r />   Those months also added to his duplicity against Bingley. Jane Bennet came to London to stay with her Cheapside relatives. She called unexpectedly on Caroline one afternoon. Caroline and Louisa were on their way out so her visit was short, but a like call upon her would be expected of the Bingley sisters. They agreed Caroline would wait several weeks before reciprocating, and even then, Miss Bingley would make Jane Bennet aware of her folly in pursuing Charles. Such incivilities ended Jane Bennet’s hopes. Darcy hated himself for keeping the news of Miss Bennet’s presence in London from Bingley. Obviously, from what Georgiana confided, Bingley’s affliction of the heart was no more over than was Darcy’s.

  Late February brought signs of spring, and Darcy, Georgiana, and Mrs. Annesley returned to Pemberley. He spent these weeks with his steward explaining his plans to increase the production of crops among the tenants on Pemberley.The steward, Mr. Howard, was a respected overseer; the two spent many hours planning a four-crop rotation among the farmers.The system, developed by the Second Viscount Charles Townsend, had been successful in the Americas since the early 1700s. Pemberley used a three-crop rotation for many years, usually wheat, barley, and the third field left to fallow. Yet, the land was being used up too quickly, and production decreased, leaving many of Pemberley’s tenants unable to maintain their farms.

  Darcy hoped the four-crop rotation plan would save his estate and the livelihood of his tenants. Nitrogen-rich legumes would be used to put back into the soil the nutrients the grain crops used, and the grain crops put back the minerals the legumes used.They fed each other; it was a simple plan; now, he had to convince his tenants of the necessity of the changes. Mr. Howard would examine each farmer’s soil makeup and decide who would plant which crops.

  The excitement of getting back to the land relieved Darcy of the agitations of his mind. He had not thought about Elizabeth Bennet more than a couple of times over the past few weeks.Then he received a letter from his aunt.

  8 March

  My dear Nephew,

  I am anticipating your upcoming visit; your cousin Anne is most anxious to renew your relationship. Her health seems much improved; I am sure you will notice the difference. I hoped to introduce you to my new curate Mr. Collins and his wife, but much to my chagrin, I find you met them both while you were in Hertfordshire with Mr. Bingley.

  Darcy’s heart stopped. Mr. Collins married someone from Hertfordshire. Pictures of Mr. Collins’s attentive behavior to Elizabeth flashed across his eyes. He danced with her at the Netherfield Ball, and after supper, Collins refused to leave Elizabeth’s side, leaving her in misery and unable to dance with other gentlemen. Please, God, do not let Elizabeth be married to Mr. Collins! Mrs. Bennet would marry Elizabeth off to Collins just to be rid of one of her daughters at last. Collins kissing Elizabeth—the thought brought a murderous rage to Darcy’s heart.With shaking hands, he returned to the letter.

  Charlotte Lucas made Mr. Collins a reasonable match. Her temperament is most pleasing, and I assured Mr. Collins of my approval in his choice.

  Darcy’s breath came in ragged outbursts. Charlotte Lucas! It was not Elizabeth! He nearly cried with relief.Although Collins would provide Miss Lucas with a steady income and a protective home, he hated to see any woman’s attentions wasted on such a supercilious ass, as was Mr. Collins. Darcy actually liked Charlotte Lucas, even without her being Elizabeth’s special friend. He would not wish Collins upon anyone.

  Mrs. Collins’s father and sister have come to stay at Hunsford. Sir William spoke highly of you, as was natural, and of making your acquaintance in Hertfordshire; the younger Miss Lucas is quite pretty, in a plain sort of fashion, and I find her very attentive to my advice. I am sure she gets no such direction at home, and I plan to spend some time with her.

  Good! His aunt’s reproofs could be directed toward someone besides Georgiana. He made a mental note to speak to his cousin about Lady Catherine’s censure of Georgina; he did not like anyone interfering in his sister’s life.

  There is another member of the Collins’s party at the Parsonage. Mrs. Collins’s friend Elizabeth Bennet has also come for a visit.

  Darcy reread that line several times to be sure his eyes did not play tricks on him. Elizabeth? His Elizabeth? Could she really be at Rosings Park residing within an easy walk of his aunt’s house? Reading on, Darcy realized his eyes did not deceive him. His aunt actually spoke of Elizabeth.The irony of it all! Elizabeth Bennet stayed on his aunt’s estate.

  I understand you also made the acquaintance of Miss Bennet. My pleasure in introducing you has been lost. I will forego that pleasure with you, but, at least, it will still be my honor to introduce the Collins’s party to your cousin, the colonel.

  Miss Bennet, I find, is a very outspoken young lady. She has been allowed to run free with little reproach from her parents. She offers her opinions without regard to station in life; this is most unusual for one so young. I cannot say I approve of her manners or her upbringing. She is one of five daughters, as you know. Her parents saw no benefit in exposing any of them to the masters. None of them draw; Miss Bennet’s talents on the pianoforte are limited. I told her she could only improve without more practice. Besides having no governess to supervise her upbringing, the worst offense I find in her parenting is all five daughters are out in society at the same time.The youngest are out before the eldest has married.When I expressed my disdain, you would not believe what Miss Bennet said.

  Darcy laughed out loud for the first time in months.Without being told her response, he could just imagine Elizabeth’s retort, accompanied by the “flash” in her eyes, a shift of her shoulders, and the hint of a mischievous smile. His sister could learn much from Elizabeth Bennet; he knew Lady Catherine did not intimidate her.

  Her reply was very disrespectful. She seems to think having all five daughters out at the same time is perfectly acceptable. Miss Bennet believes her younger sisters deserve their share of society and amusement as much as does she and her elder sister. She indicated it was not fair to her younger sisters to be denied their share of fun and courtship just because neither she nor her elder sister have had the means or the inclination to marry. Miss Elizabeth does not feel it would be “very likely to promote sisterly affection nor delicacy of the mind.” I was astonished by this response. I hope to temper her rough spirits before she leaves Hunsford.

  His aunt may wish to temper Elizabeth’s spirits, but he knew Lady Catherine was no match for Elizabeth Bennet.

  Miss Bennet just needs an example of proper society to complement her undeveloped genteel attributes. Sir William, I am afraid, will depart before your arrival, but the ladies will remain another month.We will invite them to Rosings if you so wish to renew their acquaintances.Your cousin Anne and I look forward to your and Edward’s stay at Rosings.

  Lady C

  Elizabeth, possibly the first to do so, obviously, dared to challenge the dignified impertinence of Lady Catherine. So, Elizabeth stayed at Rosings; he was glad to know prior to his arrival. It would be a good test of how well he recovered from her charms. In thinking so, Darcy did not acknowledge the swirl of his emotions when he feared Collins married Elizabeth as being anything more than a true concern for her well-being and happiness. He would be able to meet Elizabeth again as indifferent acquaintances; Darcy was sure of that fact.

  His cousin Edward Fitzwilliam came to Pemberley on the nineteenth. He would spend a few days with Georgiana before they departed for Rosings. Along with Darcy, the good colonel served as Georgiana’s guardian, and he adored her nearly as much as did Darcy.

  “Cousin, Georgiana told me about Elizabeth Bennet,” Edward teased.“Now, I am most anxious to meet our aunt’s visitors.At first, I was not looking forward to meeting a ‘country miss with poor manners,’ but Georgiana seems to feel you hold Elizabeth Bennet in some esteem. If she impresses Fitzwilliam Darcy, she would be something extraordinary, I dare say.”

  “Pull in your tendrils, Edward,” Darcy cautioned. “Miss Elizabeth i
s not for you.As the younger son of an earl, you need to find a woman of wealth to keep you in style. I am afraid although Miss Elizabeth is a gentleman’s daughter, she has no wealth of which to make her a person of interest for a man in your position.”

  “I see,” Edward began. “That is my bad luck. Some day I will find a wealthy woman with whom I might also find affection. I do not want to just marry for money; some level of love is not too much to ask is it, Fitz?”

  “I never knew you felt that way.” Edward’s words stunned Darcy.

  “Oh, well, at least,” Edward shook it off, “Miss Elizabeth may help brighten our time at Rosings, can she not?”

  “Miss Elizabeth, I found, can brighten most any room,” Darcy whispered to himself.

  CHAPTER 7

  “This would be nothing if you really liked him.”

  As the carriage rolled toward the inevitable, Darcy tried to mask the restriction encompassing the core of his being. He hid behind the newspaper while his cousin snoozed in the seat across from him. His eyes looked at the newsprint, but none of the words penetrated his brain. In the next few days, he would be facing Elizabeth Bennet once again. He focused all his energies into forgetting Elizabeth. He went through the turmoil, chastising himself repeatedly for losing control when confronted with her. Darcy questioned himself:Why had he let Elizabeth speak to him as such? Why had he allowed her to possess him physically as well as emotionally? Why had he questioned who he was and what he valued? More importantly, why had he considered making her a part of his life? Yes, there was a physical attraction, but should he lay aside all his principles—all his values for physical beauty? Of course, he could have Elizabeth; Darcy never saw a woman he could not have, but he could not even think of making her the mistress of Pemberley.