Darcy's Passions

by Regina Jeffers

  Mrs. Gardiner caught his arm. “Mr. Darcy, Elizabeth must tell you her reasons; they are not mine to give, but if I may be allowed an opinion, you must ask the right question to get the answer you want.”

  “I do not understand, Mrs. Gardiner.”

  “Trust me, Mr. Darcy. A reassurance of Elizabeth’s love for you is not what you should question. Give me your jacket, Mr. Darcy.” He did not know of what she asked. “Give me your jacket, Mr. Darcy, and then go ask Elizabeth why cigar smoke is bothering her.” She reached up and took his jacket from his shoulders.“Go, Mr. Darcy.” She caressed his cheek as he looked at her with bewilderment.

  Darcy took the steps with his usual speed; his search for Elizabeth ended in their bedroom. She laid eyes closed—face down across the bed, a wet cloth in her hand. He entered tentatively. “Elizabeth?” He feared coming too near—not knowing why she kept retreating from him. “Elizabeth, please,” his voice pleaded with her senses. He moved cautiously to the foot of the bed.

  Elizabeth sat up and looked at him. Darcy’s confusion and concern asked questions his mouth could not. Finally, he said, “Your aunt says I need to ask why cigar smoke bothers you. This makes little sense to me; would you care to explain to me what troubles you?”

  Her tears could not be withheld. “Fitzwilliam,” she sobbed, “it was not supposed to be this way! I had it all planned!”

  He came to the side of the bed and took her hand. “Had what planned? Elizabeth, this should make sense, but it does not; help me to understand.”

  She nearly knocked him over when she jumped into his arms, hugging him tightly. On her knees on the bed, she was nearly as tall as he, and he did not have to bend to see her face. Her tears rolled down his neck as she buried her face, ashamed of what she had to say to him. “Elizabeth, there is nothing which could make me love you less.” He held her tightly to him and stroked the back of her head.

  She would not look at him, but she did try to say what she needed to tell him. Still holding him as closely as she could, she spoke to the air, which surrounded them. “Fitzwilliam,” her voice was small and difficult to hear at first, “you slept in the same bed with me every night for two months, did you not notice I never suffered from . . . suffered from ....” This was harder to say than she expected.

  “Suffered from what, Elizabeth?” He would like to look at her during this, but he would take what she was willing to give him so he continued to embrace her.

  “Help me say it, Fitzwilliam.” She burrowed deeper into his shoulder.“From my female ....”

  She knew he understood without her saying the words; the realization of what she just said shot through his body. He pulled back her tear-filled face. “Lizzy, please tell me it is true.”

  “I am with child, Fitzwilliam. We will have a child the latter part of July or early August.”

  She could not predict the reaction playing across his face. A shout of exhilaration grew from deep inside him as he picked her up and spun her around and around and smothered her face with kisses. “Elizabeth,” he said at last,“how long have you known?”

  She dropped her eyes,“I suspected as such before the fall.”

  “Why did you not tell me?”

  “I wanted to be sure the fall did not endanger the child; I wanted to be sure all was well before I told you. I could not bear to hurt you.”

  “Mr. Spencer has seen you?”

  “Mr. Spencer knows and believes me to be healthy.”

  “Then what happened downstairs?”

  “The cigar smoke,” she looked embarrassed, “made me sick. I am sorry.” Her tears started again.

  “Do not fret, Elizabeth. I will gladly give up cigars for such news as is yours.” Pulling her so close she was a part of him, he kissed her.“May we tell the others?”

  “I cannot enter that room again, Fitzwilliam. I have made a fool of myself; plus, the smell of the smoke unsettles my stomach too much.”

  “I will change my shirt; we will tell the others. I will ask the others to change also; all will be well.” Darcy kissed her quickly and started toward his dressing room.

  “I cannot ask our guests to do so.” She looked at him helplessly.

  “I cannot keep this news to myself, Elizabeth; our guests will understand.” He rushed back across the room to her, kissed her passionately, and then hurried to his chambers.

  In the dressing room he began to change his clothes and wipe any trace of cigar smoke from his being. He moved quickly, using the tepid water to wash his face and arms, finally pouring more water over his head to wash fragments of the cigar smell from his hair. Elizabeth carried his child—an heir for Pemberley grew within her. The realization struck him, and Darcy sank into a chair—legs weak from the knowledge. He would be a father—a father; the news brought tears of joy to his eyes, and he buried his face in his hands. A baby—his baby—no more horseback rides for Elizabeth, and she must limit her walks. Maybe they should not spend so much time in acts of love—he had so many questions for Mr. Spencer—he would call on the man tomorrow. A baby—Elizabeth was to have his child. He had to go back to her; she must be in as much tumult as was he right now.

  “Any traces of cigar smoke?” he asked, returning to their bedroom and taking Elizabeth in his arms. “When you said I could control your schedule after New Year’s, is this the reason? Is this why you have no energy lately and why you pick at your food?” Darcy caressed her face; it was as if he saw her differently somehow.

  “I believe part of my problems of late has been my worry over the child’s safety and part of how you would take the news.”

  “Did you think I would not be happy?”

  “It is so much at once—the marriage—Pemberley—and now this. Can we handle all the changes in our life, Fitzwilliam, without it destroying our love?”

  “Elizabeth, when I begged God to spare your life, I told him I would give up everything for you to be well again and to love me again.Then Georgiana said God has his plan for us; he gives us no more than what we can handle.”

  “Then if it is God’s will, what more may I say.” She sighed but was not so easily convinced.

  “May we go tell the others, Elizabeth? I must say the words out loud to verify the knowledge of what you say to be true.”

  “Then say the words to me, Fitzwilliam. I need to hear the joy in your voice.”

  Uncharacteristically, Darcy sank to his knees in front of her and placed a gentle kiss on her stomach and lightly stroked her abdomen. “Our child grows within you, Elizabeth.” He looked up into her face.

  She briefly held his head to her stomach, and then she pulled him to her.“I do so dearly love you, Fitzwilliam.”

  He took her hand and kissed the palm.“This kiss belongs to our child.” He placed her hand on her abdomen and cupped her hand with his.They stood that way for a long time, looking deeply into each other’s eyes.

  He said at last,“We should go.”

  “If we must.” She was hesitant to leave so he held her tightly once again. Eventually, she took his arm tentatively and raised her chin.“Let us go, my Love.”

  Going down the steps, he could not take his eyes off her face; Elizabeth was so beautiful, and she loved him. Darcy’s heart could hold no more happiness. “Are you ready?” he asked, kissing her cheek tenderly. She nodded her agreement as his eyes searched her face. When they came to the drawing room, he reached out to open the door with his free hand. It reminded him of the first time he walked her back to the Parsonage at Rosings.“I love you, Elizabeth,” he whispered. Her eyes sparkled up at him.

  When the door opened, all eyes fell on them, and silence filled the room. Darcy heard her sigh deeply, and he pulled her to him. “Elizabeth and I have something to share with all of you.” Elizabeth heard Jane gasp and saw her Aunt Gardiner start to cry. “We will be parents in late July.” Darcy’s voice was shaky as if he could not believe the words himself. There was dead silence for a few infinite seconds, and then all in the room star
ted to rush forward to congratulate them. Darcy instinctively shoved Elizabeth behind him to protect her; then he put his hand out to stop their progress. “Gentlemen, it seems Mrs. Darcy is having trouble stomaching the smell of our cigar smoke so although this is an unusual request, I am asking each of you to go to your rooms and change before you extend your congratulations.”

  Mr. Gardiner started to laugh as he turned to his wife.“It is just like you and the smell of flowers.” He caressed his wife’s cheek and then chuckled again as he headed for the stairs. “Come, gentlemen,” he said,“in this room I am the only one with experience in this area; trust me, a woman is a delicate creature, but we cannot live without them.” The other men looked confused, but they too started to leave.

  Mr. Ashford had no change of clothing so he seemed befuddled as to what to do; Bingley took note of the situation.“Come, Mr. Ashford, I am sure I have something you may borrow for the evening.”

  “Thank you, Mr. Bingley, I should probably take my leave.”

  “Nonsense, Mr. Ashford, we now have something to celebrate; plus the snow comes down again.You should stay,” Jane offered.

  “Yes,” Darcy added. “I will have Mrs. Reynolds show you to rooms for the evening.”

  “Thank you, Mr. Darcy,” the man looked a bit uncomfortable.

  Once the men left the room, Darcy stepped aside to let the women surround Elizabeth. Jane was the first to reach her sister. “Elizabeth, I am overwhelmed with happiness.You and Mr. Darcy are so blessed to have each other; why did you not tell me? Your countenance shows such contentment!”

  Kitty and Georgiana followed her closely; both hugged their respective siblings.“I will be an aunt,” Kitty squealed.

  “We will both be aunts,” Georgiana chimed in. Georgiana hugged Elizabeth for a long time. “From the first day I met you at the Royal Crown, I knew you would bring happiness to Pemberley. I love you, Elizabeth.”

  “I love you too, Georgiana.”Then Elizabeth hugged Kitty again. “Kitty, would you stay at Pemberley to help Georgiana and me prepare for this child? I will write Mama tomorrow if you agree.”

  “Of course, Elizabeth.” Kitty hugged her sister warmly.

  Anne came forward to offer her congratulations. “I apologize for the offense earlier, Anne. I wanted to tell Fitzwilliam tonight, but your announcement of a June wedding created a problem. I did not know how to respond without exposing the news.”

  “Fret not, Elizabeth. Fitzwilliam’s face tells me how much he loves you.That is all I could ask for my cousin.”

  Finally, her Aunt Gardiner made her way to the arms of the happy couple.“All is well, Lizzy?”

  “It is not as I planned, but Fitzwilliam is happy.”

  “Life is rarely as we plan, Lizzy.You and Mr. Darcy are meant to be together. I knew that from the moment I met him in August. You will live a life of which others may only dream.You found a great love, Elizabeth.”

  “I have, have I not?To think I once refused him, and now I cannot breathe without him. Fitzwilliam will have an heir for Pemberley.”

  Darcy came over to join them, not able to be away from Elizabeth any longer. “Mr. Darcy, thank you for giving our Lizzy the life she deserves.You have a love, which will transcend time. ” Elizabeth hugged Darcy as her aunt addressed her husband.

  When the gentlemen returned, they too offered their congratulations, but naturally Bingley, Edward, and Mr. Gardiner showed their excitement the most. “I remember when you were a mere babe yourself, Lizzy.” Her uncle hugged her and offered Darcy his hand.

  Edward accepted Elizabeth’s apology, offered her a kiss on the cheek, and embraced his cousin with true felt admiration. “Lady Catherine will be most displeased,” he whispered to Darcy.

  “Tell her the shades of Pemberley are thus polluted.” Darcy was too mirthful to care what his aunt thought.

  Bingley’s smile could not be contained. “Darcy, next to hearing those words from Jane, I cannot be happier than I am now. I must practice my legible handwriting once again. Caroline will be beside herself with envy.”

  “She and Lady Catherine must console each other, I fear.” Darcy laughed out loud.

  Jane came back to join Darcy and her husband. “Mr. Darcy, be thankful the roads are poor this time of year; it will keep Mama from coming to Pemberley immediately.”

  “Without wishing offense, Mrs. Bingley, even your mother could not defer my happiness this evening.”

  Jane hugged him. “I am pleased you are in Elizabeth’s life, Mr. Darcy.You were right; she is your other half. To have Elizabeth so happy gives me more joy than you could know.”

  “I will devote my life to loving her, Mrs. Bingley.”

  The party took on a whole new level of enjoyment; no one wished to go to bed. New Year’s Eve and a new baby gave everyone too much joy. Mrs. Annesley played, and all the couples enjoyed impromptu dancing, giving Darcy and Elizabeth the pleasure of starting the first dance.

  “Mr. Darcy,” she taunted as she passed him in the form, “you have the reputation of despising to dance.”

  “I am very discerning in my choice of partners is all the censure one should give to my reputation.” He smiled happily at her. Each time they came together, their conversation continued. “I was disappointed when you refused me at Lucas Lodge.”

  “Then I cross-examined you at Netherfield.”

  “Why did you finally honor me with your hand, Elizabeth?”

  “So you would always be in a humor to give consequence to a young lady who has been slighted by other men.” She reminded him of his first cut to her at Meryton.

  “I was a fool, Elizabeth.”

  “As was I, Fitzwilliam.”

  The last time they passed, Elizabeth could not help but to touch him, and Darcy caressed her cheek; their eyes, as always, found each other.

  Unusual for him, Darcy also danced with Jane, Georgiana, Mrs. Gardiner, and Kitty, but he still watched Elizabeth as he completed each form. She spent time with Bingley, Edward, and Mr. Harrison. Kitty was happy to dance with Bingley, Mr. Harrison, and several times with Mr. Ashford. Not being a formal ball there was no strictures on multiple dances. Mr.Ashford lacked the finesse of a gentleman, but his dancing did not create a spectacle; he found the pleasure of holding Kitty Bennet’s hand an inducement for enjoying the music, and he briefly thanked God for bringing these new people into his life.The group simply enjoyed being together.

  Georgiana cornered Darcy as the evening progressed.“Are you happy for me, Dearest One?” he asked when she came near.

  “Fitzwilliam, to see you so well-situated is the most joyful of times. Elizabeth is so beautiful; see how she beams with love.”

  “Georgiana, I may have given up my pursuit of Elizabeth if you did not intervene, and if you did not realize she was in danger, I may have lost her forever.What might I say to you to tell you how much you are loved?”

  “Words are not necessary, Fitzwilliam. I am thankful you finally have love in your life. You gave up your youth for me and for Pemberley; it was never fair for you to take on so much at such a young age.”

  “I never regretted what I did for you, Dearest One.”

  “Now we are creating our own Pemberley, Fitzwilliam. I believe we are repaid ten times over for our good deeds. God gives us blessings because of what we do for others.”

  “You are more devout than I, but I have come to a new understanding of the infinite power of God since Elizabeth came into my life. I never knew such love of life.”

  “Love life and Elizabeth, Fitzwilliam.” She kissed his cheek; as she turned to leave him and rejoin the others, Georgiana pivoted toward him with one last remark. “Did you know, Brother, the Greeks did not extol a man’s accomplishments upon his death? They simply asked one question of his family and friends: did he live his life with undying passion?” She gave him her own version of an enigmatic smile and left.

  As the evening wound down, Darcy offered a toast to Elizabeth. “To my wife, Elizabeth Benn
et Darcy, a woman of unexpected wit, a devotion to her family, silent courage, and strength combined with innocence and sweetness—I learned from you how to be a brother, a man, and a husband. Soon I will learn to be a father.You are the love of my life.” Her eyes welled up; there was a time when Elizabeth looked for love—a fiery cannonball of emotions; now she knew true love, deep compassionate love—a consistent flame, which never burns out.

  When the others retired for the evening, Darcy and Elizabeth sat together in the drawing room; he reclined against the back of a settee with one leg stretched out and the other dangling to the floor; Elizabeth lay back against him, lounging lazily between his legs where she could easily touch his face and feel his warmth. He held her head to his chest and kissed the top of it as he rubbed the side of the arm, which she laid across his chest. She stroked his chin line and periodically lightly kissed his neck. The fire was burning down, but neither of them wished to move, fearing the spell would be broken.

  “Are you truly happy to be a father so soon, Fitzwilliam?”

  “Of course, Elizabeth, dare you ask?”

  “We have been together for such a short period of time; I feared you would think it too fast.”

  Fascinated by the fact she was with child, he reached out to place his hand lightly upon her stomach. Looking deeply in her eyes, he said, “Georgiana said earlier I gave up everything for her and for Pemberley. The truth is I gave up some of my youth to know true happiness. My blessings are just coming closer together than I expected.” He offered a soft chuckle to lighten the moment.

  “What if our child is not a son? Would a daughter disappoint you?”

  “There was a time I felt anything but a son would be settling for less, but I will admit to seeking the approval of Cassandra Gardiner more so than her brothers. I would walk across England for one of her hugs. Holding her in my arms yesterday evening as she fell asleep offered me such ease. Having three females in my household would be a blessing. I remember how little Georgiana looked as a baby; I was afraid to even touch her at first, but my mother taught me to hold her and to look upon her. She would wrap her hand around my finger and hold on so tightly I knew she asked me to protect her from harm.”