A Pregnancy, a Party & a Proposal

by Teresa Carpenter

  Lauren’s laugh tinkled on the air, the sound energizing Ray.

  Bob shrugged big shoulders. “I just want to show Ray, here, the diversity of my beautiful state so he can keep us in mind for future ventures.”

  The mayor harrumphed.

  “Thanks, Bob,” Ray said. He flicked the card. “My assistant will be in touch. Gentlemen, it’s been a pleasure.”

  “Running off so soon?” the mayor protested, then followed Ray’s gaze to where the women chatted a few feet away. A look of admiration chased away the touch of irritation in his eyes. “Ah. I understand. Congratulations, by the way. You’re a lucky man.”

  “Indeed.”

  He nodded to the men and strolled the short distance to Lauren’s side, shaking off the odd combination of pride and anger at the way the other man had eyed Lauren.

  He wasn’t usually territorial. Then again he didn’t usually have a temporary fiancée either. That had to be it.

  His fingers connected with the skin of her lower back and he sighed. Satisfaction and desire replaced all other emotions.

  Lauren instantly acknowledged him, looking up and back. She continued her conversation but settled into his touch.

  “It’s really not that difficult to up the interest factor of an event,” she explained to the cluster of ladies. “It can be as simple as having a signature cocktail or adding visual props.”

  “These affairs always look the same,” a white-haired matron said, while fingering the diamonds at her neck.

  “That usually happens when it’s left up to a hotel. Understated elegance is a classic, so it’s often the default mode.” She responded calmly, as if her audience wasn’t sending furtive glances his way.

  “What would you have done differently tonight?” the mayor’s wife asked.

  “We often work with the client to come up with a theme. Lacking that, I’d switch things up. Flowers are a standard, but instead of roses I might have gone with something more exotic. A tropical feel in the middle of winter would be welcomed by most. And I might have replaced a few of the round tables with a conversation area of sofas and chairs.”

  A hum of approval came from the group.

  Lauren shrugged gracefully. “My sister is the truly creative half of our team.”

  “Ladies,” Ray broke in, “I’m going to steal Lauren away. We have reservations for a late supper.”

  “How romantic,” the matron announced. “Enjoy these early days, dear. It’s never quite the same once you’ve said your vows.”

  “And Marian should know,” one of the others volunteered.

  “Yes,” Marian agreed with a trill of laughter. “Walter is my third husband.”

  “Let’s give Walter something to think about, shall we?” Ray lifted Marian’s diamond-laden hand to his mouth and pressed a kiss to the back of her fingers.

  Marian flushed pink, her delight in being singled out bright in her smile.

  “Ladies...” He winked and led Lauren away.

  * * *

  Watching the world spin away before her sent Lauren’s stomach rolling. Not because of the baby this time, but the dizzying ride in a glass elevator. Placing a hand on her belly, she turned away from the rising view.

  “You okay?” Ray wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her close.

  “Vertigo.” She leaned against him, took comfort in the caress of his hand on her back. “Better now. Thanks.”

  The elevator opened on the forty-seventh floor. Ray gestured for her to exit. She did so, but questioned him.

  “You said we had reservations for a late supper. I thought we were headed for the rooftop restaurant?”

  “It’s been a long day. I ordered in.” He used a card key to let them into the lounge area of their suite. “I hope you don’t mind?”

  “No, but I’m disappointed. I was looking forward to relaxing while taking in the rooftop view. New York keeps beckoning, yet I’ve only seen a slice of the Big Apple.”

  This was exactly the type of highhanded behavior she found annoying.

  “Sorry.” Loosening his tie, he bent to kiss her on the top of her head. “I’ve had enough of being a spectacle today. I had them set the table up by the window, so the view should be nearly the same.”

  “Oh...” Now she felt bad. She hadn’t considered how being “on” all the time must get tiring for him.

  Feeling the quiet of the room embrace her, she admitted it was a stellar option.

  “Good thinking. What did you order for us?”

  “Lobster, steak, a full range of sides and desserts.” At the dining table he began lifting lids on dome-covered dishes. “I wanted you to have a choice.”

  “How thoughtful.” And it was. Her mood improved. “This looks delicious.”

  Ray handed her a plate, took one for himself, and they served themselves. She chose both lobster and a small piece of steak, with asparagus and tender red potatoes.

  “How’s the vertigo?” Ray’s concerned gaze ran over her features as he held her chair. “Would you like me to pull the table away from the window?”

  Touched, she smiled her appreciation. “No, I’ll be fine. It was the motion combined with the view that got to me. Here the table blocks the feet-to-skyline view, so I should be all right. But I think I’ll skip the wine, just to be safe.”

  Finding ways to decline alcohol and caffeine were getting harder and harder.

  She set her plate down and allowed him to seat her. “This is lovely.”

  New York in all its glistening glory was spread out before them. High-rises and bridges threaded together with streets of lights. She recognized the Empire State Building and Ray pointed out several other landmarks.

  “Where’s Queens?” she asked.

  “You can’t see it from here. Wrong angle.” But he pointed out the boroughs they could see amidst the myriad buildings. Even from this height and distance the city’s flow and movement reached her. New York was a living, breathing metropolis unlike any place else she’d ever seen.

  He told her about his day at the docks, making her laugh with his dry sense of humor. She refrained from boring him with details of her day at the spa, assuring him instead that it had been relaxing. “Not as relaxing as this, though.”

  A gleam appeared in his eyes. He reached over and threaded long fingers through her smaller ones. His touch soothed and aroused.

  “I know what you mean. It feels like forever since we’ve been alone.”

  Yes. She got that. And the fact she’d missed him was as surprising as it was true.

  She felt as if she’d been on edge for days. They’d been together almost constantly, but rarely on their own. To all intents and purposes they were truly alone for the first time since leaving Hollywood. Well, except for the time they spent together in his small bedroom—which was not relaxing in the least.

  Baby might enjoy sleeping in Daddy’s arms, but Mama found the whole experience nerve-racking.

  Tonight the mood was intimate, yet mellow. The amazing view and the delectable food were too good to ruin with bad vibes. The ease between them presented the perfect opportunity to address something bothering her.

  Mamó had mentioned vows in connection with Ray, and something to do with a pregnancy. It wasn’t hard to connect the dots, but she didn’t work well with supposition. She liked solid facts. Much less room for misunderstandings.

  The one time she had allowed herself to have faith in her emotions she’d sunk deep in an emotionally damaging relationship. Some—Tori—might call it abusive. Lauren’s pride argued that she’d pulled out before it had reached that stage.

  The point was she’d learned a tough lesson: not to let her heart lead her head. Especially now she had a child to think of.

  “Can I ask you a personal questi
on?”

  “Sure. We’re engaged—at least for a few more days.”

  Uh, no, they weren’t. But they were going to be parents. She figured that gave her a right to know. So she’d run with his permission.

  “Have you been married before?”

  He stared at her with an unreadable expression for a long moment, until she wondered if he’d answer her after all. Then he stood, pulled her to her feet by their joined fingers and led her to the large, plush couch.

  “If we’re going to get into something deep, let’s get comfortable.”

  He sat and drew her down next to him, never letting go of her. And still he didn’t elaborate. He played with her fingers, his gazed locked on their entwined digits, their hands perched on his hard thigh, because he’d allowed no space between them.

  “I suppose someone mentioned it to you at the party?” Bitterness edged his response. “Fifteen years and four major industry awards and I still haven’t lived it down.”

  Okay, that didn’t sound like a denial. Then again, she’d never heard of marriage referred to as “it” either.

  “So you were married?”

  “No.”

  An odd sense of relief slid through her.

  Ridiculous, of course. And unfounded. It would be unhealthy for a man his age never to have been involved in a committed relationship. So he preferred to be discreet? That didn’t mean he didn’t have a private life. Or that he didn’t care for the women he spent time with.

  Okay, so their interaction had been purely physical, with nothing more than a fake engagement to indicate any sense of depth. She’d be a fool to assume all his relationships were so shallow.

  But he hadn’t cared enough to get married. She supposed that meant something. She hoped hearing his history might give her the answers she needed.

  He’d been quiet while she stewed. Brooding himself?

  “Painful memories?” She squeezed his fingers and leaned her head on his shoulder.

  “Yeah.” It was almost a grunt.

  “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” she offered. She’d be disappointed if he changed his mind now, but she couldn’t force him to share. Not when she had secrets she wasn’t prepared to reveal yet.

  “It was a lifetime ago. Feels like it happened to someone else.” He scrubbed his free hand over the back of his neck. “I was just a kid.”

  “If it happened fifteen years ago, you are a different person. We all change and grow. I know I’m not the same person I was when I started college.”

  He flinched, and she knew he was thinking about what she’d gone through. His jaw clenched. But he started talking.

  “I was headed for college, with a scholarship to UCLA in my grasp, when my world fell apart. My girlfriend, Camilla, informed me she was pregnant.”

  Lauren’s hand clenched around his. Even though she’d expected to hear a child had been involved after Mamó’s earlier comments, Lauren still took the news like a shot to the gut.

  Another woman had carried Ray’s child.

  The knowledge made her raw. She couldn’t squeeze a word past the constriction in her throat. She shouldn’t care. Theirs was not a romantic connection. Being so cozy these last few days had given a false sense of intimacy. Nothing had changed.

  Ray rubbed his thumb over her wrist. “We had one of those on again, off again relationships—mostly because she wanted constant attention and I was wrapped up in making movies. Neither of us was thinking long-term. At least I didn’t think so. She knew I’d planned to go to Los Angeles whether I got the scholarship or not. The University of California Los Angeles is arguably the best school for film and television in the world.”

  “I remember reading an article stating that you won an award for a documentary on homeless runaways that had scholarship money attached to it.”

  “The Stahling Award. That’s when I knew I had a good chance at going to UCLA. The award carries a lot of prestige. Along with my other awards and a short film, it was the complete package.”

  He hadn’t been wrong. He’d gone to UCLA and become one of their biggest success stories. But something wasn’t adding up. Something must have happened with the baby. Or maybe there hadn’t been a baby at all?

  “Was Camilla lying when she said she was pregnant?”

  “No. Mamó would have known.”

  He got up and poured another glass of wine. He held the bottle up, silently asking if she wanted some. She shook her head. Sipping, he stared out the window.

  “My world shattered. The last thing I wanted was a kid. But I’d been raised by my grandmother and my aunt—two widows, basically single mothers. I knew the hardships they’d faced. They raised me to take responsibility for my actions. I couldn’t walk away from my kid and everything they’d taught me.”

  “You proposed?” she guessed, feeling for the young Ray who’d had all his dreams disrupted.

  “I didn’t love her. We’d only hooked up in our senior year. But the kid was mine, so, yeah, I proposed. Camilla and her mother started making rush wedding plans. She told me she wanted the ceremony right away, so she wouldn’t be showing in her gown. I was committed. When didn’t matter to me. Providing for my family did, so I started looking for a better job.”

  “You didn’t consider taking Camilla with you to Los Angeles?”

  “I considered it, but the scholarship was for dorm housing, so I’d have needed to work. And probably Camilla, too, which would be difficult with a newborn. At least in Queens we’d have family support nearby. But I wasn’t giving up. I might have to do night courses, but I started putting in applications to New York film schools. Camilla had a fit when she realized.”

  “She thought she’d be going with you to Los Angeles?”

  “Oh, yeah. She said if I could be a director she could be an actress. I laughed at her.”

  “Uh-oh.” The word escaped without thought. Never a good idea to laugh at a woman—certainly not a pregnant one. The fact her aspirations had been somewhat misguided would only have made it worse.

  “Not my shiniest moment,” he confessed. “But my tolerance was stretched thin by then. I explained my reasoning. She didn’t care—said I was jealous of her and insisted we go. I refused. Said I wasn’t taking a child to California. She left in a huff.”

  Lauren closed her eyes, briefly shutting out his pain. She saw the train wreck coming. His stoic delivery as he relived the tragic memory was not fooling her for a moment. Aching for him, she stood and went to him. Wrapping her arms around his waist, she laid her head on his back and just held him. A fine tremor shook his body, revealing the hurt he tried to hide. He laid his hand over hers.

  “I’m so sorry,” she whispered.

  “At that time we were only days away from the wedding. I should have figured out something was off when she stopped yammering at me over details I couldn’t care less about. And she’d begun avoiding Mamó. I didn’t notice. Hell, I couldn’t even put a good face on it at that point. The less time I spent with her the better.”

  “Oh, Ray.”

  “I was at the church, dread heavy in my gut, and Mamó came into the little room where I was waiting. She knew how hard everything was for me.”

  “She never encouraged you to go?”

  “No. She supported my decision to stay and raise my child. But she couldn’t let me go through with the ceremony when she no longer sensed a child.”

  “What did you do?”

  “I challenged Camilla. At first she refused to see me. Then she tried to deny it. But I knew. When I demanded someone go for a pregnancy test she broke down and claimed she’d lost the baby. She said she still loved me and now we could go to Los Angeles together. It made me sick to my stomach.”

  “She aborted the baby?”

  “Sh
e denied it. Still does, as far as I know. But she was lying. She got pregnant to hook me and got rid of the baby when it threatened her plans.”

  The muscles in his back flexed as he braced his body to control the shaking. To disguise what Camilla’s betrayal had done to him.

  “You don’t believe she ever intended having the baby.”

  The breath left his body and he unlinked her hands to turn and study her. He cupped her face, stared into her eyes. “How can you know that?”

  “I’m beginning to know you. Camilla’s perfidy was painful, but having an innocent life trivialized made it worse.”

  “It wasn’t just an innocent life. It was my child. Her treachery crushed me. Her total disregard for my child’s life—that destroyed me.” His jaw clenched as he fought for composure. “She stole seed from me and tossed a life away as if it meant nothing. All for a trip to Hollywood. How could I go to UCLA when I knew the lure of Hollywood was what had caused my child to lose his life?

  “Ray...” Her heart broke for him.

  “For about a week I punished myself. Pulled all my applications from the local schools, grabbed my camera, and hit the streets. I found destitution, despair, disassociation, defeat. These weren’t the teenagers I had filmed before. They had been survivors. These people had given up entirely. After three days I couldn’t stand it and I dragged myself home. Mamó was waiting for me. She embraced me, fed me, scolded me and shamed me. In the face of all I’d seen, her steadfast love humbled me. The next day she told me to get over the self-pity, pack my bags, and leave for Los Angeles, already. I’d seen what defeat did to a person. Damned if I was going to let Camilla steal my soul. So I followed Mamó’s advice and never looked back.”

  “I’m glad you did. None of what happened was your fault.”

  “I made a child with her. I let her talk me into unprotected sex. Stupid. I was an eighteen-year-old boy, and she’d teased me past the point of control. But that’s on me.”

  “The fact that you accept the responsibility makes you a good man. If you’d walked away unscathed you would be no better than her. But you cared. You mourned. You went on to be a brilliant film-maker. Truly, the world would be a sadder place if you had turned your back on Hollywood.”