The Girl in the Dark

by Angela Hart

  ‘Thank you; it’s kind of you to say that. But it’s very early days for us, and I’m not sure I agree that we haven’t got anything to worry about.’

  Elaine conceded that I was right. She said Melissa had just told her – clearly very briefly – about the pregnancy scare but said she didn’t want to talk about ‘any of her boyfriends’. Elaine said she was aware some of the boys she went out with were older than her.

  ‘I’m glad you know that,’ I said. ‘What I want to know is this. Now she’s saying she’s had sex – presumably unprotected sex – surely there is something more that can be done? She is still only twelve years old. I know we can’t lock her in the house, but is it right for me to let her go out with boys over sixteen? She’s only a child and they are over the age of consent.’

  Elaine considered this for a moment. ‘Yes, I hear what you’re saying,’ she said cautiously, ‘but the issue we have is that she is not admitting she slept with a boy over sixteen, is she? The pregnancy scare could have been the result of her sleeping with a boy the same age, or at least a boy who is under sixteen. We have no proof that anything illegal is going on, and she is consenting, after all. I’ve been doing this job long enough to know that you have to take everything you hear with a pinch of salt. Are the boys she hangs around with even the age they say they are? They could just be trying to impress her. If she’s not saying any more, we can’t do much more, can we? Girls like Melissa are clever. When push comes to shove they will always say they had sex with a boy who was the same age, or at least under sixteen, or they’ll say nothing. They’re craftier than you might think, and they know all about the age of consent. You’ve made fantastic progress in the short time Melissa’s been with you. She’s talking to you and she made sure you were there at the GP’s with her when she thought she was pregnant. I know I’m not your support social worker, but from where I’m looking I’d say you just need to keep up the good work. The placement is only for five weeks, in any case.’

  I could see that Elaine meant well and was an experienced support worker. I was grateful for her counsel and encouragement, although some of what she said sounded quite defeatist to me, as if Jonathan and I didn’t need to trouble ourselves too much as Melissa would be off our hands in no time, given that she was only with us for five weeks. Also, I didn’t like the way Elaine used the phrase ‘girls like Melissa’, as if her actions completely defined her. I was riled by Elaine, to tell the truth. I felt like saying to her, ‘So shall we just sit back, writing reports and following the Social Services guidelines until Melissa actually does get pregnant? Is that all we can do with “girls like Melissa”?’ I held my tongue, of course. I didn’t want to be rude or antagonistic and I knew Elaine was only trying to help.

  Instead, I took a deep breath. Then I spelled out my fears as baldly as possible. ‘I know Melissa’s placement here is only for five weeks, but I worry she could get herself into trouble in that time. Potentially life-changing trouble.’

  Elaine acknowledged this and advised me to voice my concerns to Wilf. He could then talk to his manager if he felt more needed to be done. I wondered if the manager would then speak to his or her superior and if, at any point, any of these people would decide action rather than words and written reports was required.

  ‘Do you know anything about her longer-term plans?’ I asked.

  ‘I don’t know any more than you, I expect. I believe there’s one relative who might have her. That’s the hope, as this person lives out of the area and it would be a fresh start.’

  Elaine began putting her notepad in her bag – and my pen, absent-mindedly – and she got to her feet as soon as Melissa returned from the bathroom.

  ‘I’d better get going,’ she said. ‘The weather’s caused havoc on the roads and I expect I’ll be running late all day. Thanks for the tea.’

  As we made our way downstairs she explained once again that she had another child to see who didn’t live very far away from us. I already knew this was what had prompted her visit to us today. She must have forgotten she told us that, I thought. Elaine then said she would return the next day, to take Melissa back to her home town to visit one of her aunties and to call in on her previous foster carers, if that was OK with me and we had nothing else planned. I assumed the two of them must have discussed this when I was making the tea: it was news to me that Melissa had been in foster care in the area where she grew up or that Elaine was planning this visit back to her home town.

  ‘Oh, I thought all your foster carers were in this area,’ I commented, looking at Melissa.

  ‘No. I stayed with Dawn and Patrick to start with, near where I grew up. I wasn’t there for that long but we got on well. I liked them a lot, they were really cool. Then it was Anne-Marie, then it was Lynne and what’s his name?’

  ‘Nick,’ I said.

  ‘That’s it. Lynne and Nick. He was OK, but I like Jonathan better, he’s much nicer.’

  Elaine smiled. ‘Well that’s a good note on which to end things. I’ll see you tomorrow afternoon. I’ll be here at one thirty?’

  Melissa and I agreed to this. We were at the front door now and Melissa swung it wide open, letting in a gust of ice-cold air that made us all shudder.

  ‘Bye then!’ Melissa chirped. ‘Thanks for coming to see me. It’s very kind of you. See you tomorrow afternoon.’ She looked like she couldn’t wait to get rid of her support worker.

  ‘Don’t thank me, dear,’ Elaine said with a withering smile. ‘I’m only doing my job.’

  When I told Jonathan about the meeting later I repeated that phrase, ‘only doing my job’. ‘I’m afraid that’s the trouble. She’s only doing her job. Why put yourself in that role if you’re only doing your job? We are only doing our job. Social Services are only doing their job. The police who took Melissa to the unit were only doing their job. Even the GP was only doing his job when he tested her urine and told her she wasn’t pregnant. But are any of us really doing all we can for Melissa?’

  Jonathan nodded sombrely. ‘I know exactly what you’re saying. It’s very difficult to know what else to do. I guess we have to hope this pregnancy scare will make Melissa think twice about what she gets up to and who she’s mixing with.’

  ‘Let’s hope so. I could see she didn’t enjoy the visit from her support worker and I can’t imagine she wants to have any more intervention from Social Services than she already has.’

  Melissa was tired that evening and went to bed at half past eight. I didn’t hear a sound from her room and by the time I went to bed myself I was confident she was sleeping soundly. Nevertheless, I woke several times in the night, and at around three o’clock I even went downstairs to check her trainers were in the hall and the house was still locked up.

  It crossed my mind, but I didn’t want to open Melissa’s bedroom door to check on her. For one thing, I didn’t want to wake her up by accident. Most importantly, I didn’t want her to feel I was invading her privacy or that I didn’t have any confidence in her. I was sure the only way I could get through to her was by letting her know I was on her side and that she could trust me. If she didn’t have faith in me, then I knew I’d have less chance of making a connection with her, and making a much-needed difference to her life.

  9

  ‘Is there something you want to tell me?’

  I was very pleased to see that Melissa was in a sunny mood when she got up for breakfast the next day.

  ‘I’m going to the park with Sonia this morning,’ she said. ‘Is that OK?’

  I glanced out of the window. The weather had cleared up a bit and even though it was still very cold it was the brightest day we’d had for a while.

  ‘What time were you thinking?’

  ‘Not sure yet. She’s got a toddler group later. She’s gonna ring me in a bit, if that’s OK? I gave her your number the other day – she hasn’t got a phone but she can go to the call box. Is that all right? Sorry, I should have checked.’

  ‘It’s fine, that was a
good idea. Why don’t you do a bit of schoolwork while you wait for her to call? We should be hearing any day about getting you back to school.’

  ‘OK,’ she smiled. ‘I’ll have a shower first. Thanks.’

  The phone rang while Melissa was in the bathroom.

  ‘Mrs Hart? Hello, it’s Sonia, Melissa’s friend. Is she there?’

  I explained that she was in the shower.

  ‘OK, in that case can you tell her I’m going to the park at about half eleven so she can meet me somewhere there, maybe by the duck pond?’

  ‘I can, but would you prefer to call here for her on the way?’

  Knowing where Sonia’s flat was, I realised she would almost have to walk past our house to reach the park. I thought that might be a better plan for the girls, and I also thought it was a good idea for me to meet as many of Melissa’s friends as possible.

  ‘OK, if you don’t mind,’ Sonia said brightly. ‘I know where you are. You’ve got the flower shop, haven’t you? I used to love going in there with my mum when I was a little girl.’

  ‘Did you? You would probably have been served by my mum in those days,’ I said.

  ‘Really? Oh, I’ll have to go as my money’s running out.’

  ‘Bye Sonia, see you soon.’

  When she came back downstairs, Melissa was happy with the fact Sonia was calling for her and thanked me for taking the call. ‘It must be a right pain having to go out to the phone box with the baby,’ she commented.

  ‘Yes, I can’t imagine anything is very easy for Sonia, looking after a two-year-old on her own.’

  ‘No, I don’t envy her. I’m glad I’m not having a baby. I don’t think I’d be able to deal with it half as well as she does.’

  ‘I don’t think any twelve-year-old would,’ I said definitively, thinking to myself that Melissa really had no idea at all what she might have been letting herself in for, if she had a baby at her age.

  She sat at the dining table for an hour or so, reading a history book and writing some notes from it. I was impressed with how well she was applying herself to her schoolwork considering she’d been out of the classroom for what I now knew to be four weeks.

  Sonia knocked on the door at twenty past eleven. Melissa was upstairs putting her schoolwork away so I answered the door and invited Sonia to step inside.

  ‘It’s OK, Kazim’s all cosy in his buggy and I don’t want to get him out. I’ll just wait out here.’

  I said hello to the little boy and he waved at me, kicked his legs and said, ‘Quack quacks.’

  ‘I heard you’re going to see the ducks. Have you got some bread for them?’

  Kazim looked at me blankly and said, ‘Bwead.’

  ‘I never thought of that,’ Sonia said.

  I told her I’d fetch her a few crusts if she liked.

  ‘That’s really kind, thank you. I tell you what, I’ll just pull your door closed to keep your heat in.’

  ‘I don’t mind if you bring the buggy in the hallway.’

  ‘No, honestly. We’re fine out here.’

  As I bagged up some bread I thought what a pleasant, well-mannered girl Sonia was. Melissa was downstairs by the time I returned with the bag of bread and I was glad to see she was sensibly dressed in a thick sweatshirt, warm coat and her sturdiest pair of trainers.

  ‘Enjoy yourselves,’ I said. ‘I’m sure the ducks will be glad of some food on a winter’s morning.’

  Melissa and I had agreed that she would be back for twelve thirty. That would give her time to have lunch before Elaine came to collect her at one thirty, to take her to visit her home town.

  ‘We will!’ Sonia said. ‘Cheers for the bread. We’ll have a lovely time, won’t we, Kazim?’

  ‘Bwead, bwead. Quack, quack.’

  Melissa laughed and pulled a funny face at the little boy, making him giggle. The two girls said goodbye to me and I watched as they turned the corner, chatting happily and walking along energetically. I was pleased to see Melissa enjoying spending time with her friend and getting out for some fresh air, even though it was very cold outside.

  I had some housework to do and I also decided to make a big pan of soup, ready for when Melissa came home for lunch. It was ready and simmering on the hob at twelve thirty but unfortunately there was no sign of Melissa. I reasoned that the girls might have got held up because of Kazim. Maybe he needed changing just as they were setting off home? I was sure there was a reasonable explanation and I told myself not to fret. Melissa knew Elaine was coming at one thirty, and I was sure she wouldn’t be late for her trip out. Besides, an hour in the park was plenty long enough at this time of year; Kazim would be getting cold and would need his lunch before his toddler group in the afternoon. Surely Melissa would turn up any minute now?

  When the clock ticked past one o’clock I couldn’t help but worry. I turned the pan of soup off and stood looking out of the window. I was wondering whether to walk up to Sonia’s flats or to the park.

  ‘I feel a bit silly,’ I said to Jonathan, when I popped into the shop to tell him what was going on.

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Because I didn’t think for one minute she’d go missing today, like this. I mean, she was with Sonia and her little boy. What on earth can they be doing? It’s cold and they can’t be feeding the ducks for this length of time, can they?’

  ‘I wouldn’t have thought so. But maybe they went to have a drink in the cafe and lost track of time? You know what youngsters are like. If I were you I’d go and have some lunch and I’m sure they’ll appear just as you’re enjoying your soup. That’s usually how it works, isn’t it?’

  I knew Jonathan was probably just as worried as me; ever since Melissa moved in we had both been doing our best to carry on as normal, but the truth was we were living in a perpetual state of anxiety about her running away. However, Jonathan did his best not to show it and instead put his energy into trying to keep me calm.

  I told him he was probably right about the soup but I wasn’t hungry and didn’t want to eat yet. Instead, I offered to take over in the shop so he could have a quick lunch break. He agreed to this, and I told him the soup might need reheating and that there was a fresh loaf in the bread bin and some Camembert in the fridge, which is his favourite cheese.

  ‘It’s my lucky day,’ he said jovially, rubbing his hands together and taking off his apron.

  There was a steady flow of customers and I enjoyed helping some of them select the right flowers for the occasion, and gift-wrapping their chosen bouquets with cellophane and ribbons. I was just finishing a conversation with a gentleman who had bought flowers for his elderly mother when Melissa and Sonia clattered into the shop, chattering nineteen to the dozen as they manoeuvred the pushchair through the door.

  ‘It’s years since I’ve been in here,’ Sonia said, looking around in wonderment, like a child in a grotto. Kazim pointed excitedly at a display of helium balloons that danced when the door opened and the chill air blew in.

  ‘Hi Angela,’ Melissa said breezily as soon as I’d stopped chatting to the customer and he left the shop. Her cheeks were pink and her eyes looked greener than ever.

  ‘Hello girls. You’ve been longer than I thought you’d be. I was getting worried.’

  I glanced at my watch: it was quarter past one.

  ‘Sorry,’ Melissa said. ‘We lost track of time. What time is it? We’ve been on every piece of play equipment in the park, haven’t we?’ She leaned into Kazim in the buggy and he kicked his legs and chuckled. Melissa then started telling me how cool the climbing frame was, and how she would have easily completed the monkey bars if her hands weren’t so cold.

  ‘I can’t believe you!’ Sonia laughed. ‘You’re a bigger kid than Kazim. Right, I need to get going.’

  I asked Sonia if she was in time for the toddler group and she said she wasn’t going to bother now, as Kazim was tired out and needed a nap.

  She grinned at Melissa. ‘Good to see you, and see you soon, yeah?’
r />   ‘You bet,’ Melissa beamed.

  ‘And good luck with you-know-who!’ Sonia winked cheekily at Melissa as she waved goodbye and left the shop.

  I glanced at the clock. It was now twenty past one.

  ‘Jonathan’s in the kitchen getting some lunch. Elaine will be here shortly. Why don’t you quickly go and get yourself a sandwich or a bowl of the tomato soup I made today? There’s plenty of fresh bread and cheese too.’

  ‘OK,’ Melissa said, but it didn’t look like she’d listened to a word I’d said. She had a dreamy look in her eye and was batting the helium balloons absent-mindedly, making them bob up and down.

  ‘Is there something you want to tell me?’

  ‘No, well, yeah. Oh, you heard what Sonia said? Ha ha! I’ve got a crush on this guy and I just saw him up the park, that’s all.’

  ‘So I guess we’re not talking about TJ or Degsy? This is another boy?’

  ‘No, not TJ or Degsy! This is a different one. He’s mates with Oz, but he’s well nicer looking than Oz, and TJ and Degsy, come to think of it. He wears gorgeous clothes too and he’s got great taste in music. He’s a proper sophisticated guy and he’s got a really good car. We like the same stuff. It’s amazing. Our taste in music is exactly the same. What are the chances of that?’

  ‘Does he have a name, “you-know-who”?’ I said.

  ‘You don’t miss anything, do you?’ she laughed. ‘I’ll kill Sonia for calling him that! His name’s Tommy. And no, before you ask, I don’t know his last name.’

  She said she was going to grab some lunch, and before I let her go I told her again that I’d been worried. I hadn’t wanted to tell her off or embarrass her in front of her friend, but I quickly took the opportunity to remind her that she needed to come in on time, every time, even if she was just going to the park in daylight.