With Caution

by J. L. Langley

  Remi backpedaled until his back hit the wood headboard, making it knock against the wall behind him. Throwing his legs over the other side of the bed, he lunged, but he wasn’t fast enough. Hands wrapped around his throat, jerking him backward and lifting him completely off the bed.

  Remi clutched his father’s hands, gasping for air. His leg kicked frantically, trying to get purchase on something, anything. Oh God, he had to get loose, he couldn’t breathe. His eyes hurt, his face felt like it was going to explode.

  Dirk’s breath was foul, heavy with alcohol, as he hissed in Remi’s face. “I will not have a fucking faggot for a son.” He shook Remi, his fingers digging into Remi’s neck.

  Remi’s vision went white. His short nails raked at Dirk’s hands, to no avail.

  “Let go of him!” Billy screamed. The sound of skin slapping against skin registered at the edge of Remi’s consciousness, then the vise grip around his throat abruptly ceased. He fell, his face hitting the cold wood. Pain slammed into his head. He gasped for air, trying to relieve the tight burn in his chest. His arms felt heavy, but he managed to get them under him.

  “Get off me, you little fag!”

  A loud crash and a gurgling sound followed.

  Remi’s clouded vision cleared and he raised up, trying to see what had happened. His throat hurt so much he couldn’t yell.

  Because of the tears, he saw the black boot aimed at his face too late. It clipped his chin, knocking him to the ground.

  Billy lay on his back, his arms and legs at odd angles. There was a jangle and rustling, Dirk mumbling something. But Remi couldn’t tell what, it sounded like he was in a well. Then pain exploded across Remi’s shoulders. A deafening crack rent the air seconds after the sting sliced into Remi’s skin. He tried to escape but the heel of Dirk’s boot across his cheek stopped him. Again and again the pain flared, over Remi’s back, his butt and thighs. It hurt so badly he just wanted to die, anything to make it stop. He stared at his best friend, his lover, willing him to get up.

  Billy never did. He didn’t even move.

  The sharp jab of a boot toe met Remi’s ribs repeatedly until his whole body went numb.

  Billy’s broken body blurred and eventually everything went black.

  Remi sat straight up, gasping for breath. It was like someone was squeezing him so tight he couldn’t breathe. His chest burned and he could almost feel the hand around his throat.

  Arms encircled his body, pinning his own arms to his side. Oh God no. He had to get away, he had to—

  “Shh… It’s okay, it’s only a bad dream. I’ve got you, pup. You’re all right. I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”

  Jake. It was Jake. Remi relaxed, collapsing back into his mate’s arms, trusting Jake to hold him. He stayed there for several minutes, his head on Jake’s chest, listening to his heartbeat and his reassurances.

  Wrapping his arms around Jake’s wide back, Remi squeezed tight. He was safe now, Jake was here and wouldn’t let— No, no, he wasn’t in danger, it was a dream.

  Jake rubbed his back, making circles. “Talk to me, pup. What was that about?”

  Remi closed his eyes, slipping down until his arms rested on Jake’s waist and his head was in Jake’s lap. He liked it when Jake called him pup.

  Over and over, Jake stroked his hair, combing his fingers through it.

  “I keep having this dream. I’ve always been woken up before anything happened, but this time…”

  “This time you didn’t. Tell me about the dream, Remi. Maybe together we can figure out why you keep having it, and why it turned into a nightmare this time.”

  * * *

  Jake caressed Remi’s cheek, pleased to find his mate snuggled into his touch even in sleep. It lessened the ache in his chest somewhat, knowing Remi was aware of his presence. Being careful not to disturb Remi, Jake lifted his mate’s head and scooted down in the bed. Once he got settled, he kissed Remi’s forehead.

  Blinking back tears, he rested his cheek on Remi’s for a second, trying to gain his composure. His heart hurt—that was the only way he knew how to describe it. The physical pain as deep as the mental one. Hell, his stomach was queasy too. Fuck, how had Remi survived? No wonder he’d repressed the memory. And Jake was convinced it was a memory. What Jake knew of the injuries Remi had suffered that night were consistent with Remi’s scars.

  Reaching past Remi, Jake grabbed his cell phone and flipped through his phonebook. He kissed Remi’s cheek as the phone began to ring. “I love you, pup.”

  Remi made a soft sound, almost like a sigh. A little smile tugged at the corner of his lips.

  Rolling onto his back, Jake stared at the ceiling while his hand idly stroked Remi’s hair. He had to tell Rhys. If they could prove Dirk had murdered Remi’s first lover, the son of a bitch would go away for a long time. He’d never be able to hurt Remi again.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Remi stepped just inside the kitchen door, blinking at the sunlight streaming in through the window over the sink. The smell of coffee and bacon filled his nose. Ahh… The first thing he registered after his eyes adjusted was Jake, ass encased in a pair of tight jeans, bent over getting things out of the refrigerator. Oh nice. He was wearing the clothes he had on yesterday. Remi made a mental note to clean out some space in his closet so Jake could bring extra clothes over if he wanted. Remi grinned, remembering last night.

  “How old is Rhys?” Sterling stood at the stove in a pair of shorts and a tank top. He was turned toward Jake with his bottom lip caught between his teeth and a spatula in his hand. Eggs dripped off the end of the spatula onto the white linoleum, but Sterling didn’t seem to notice.

  Remi yawned and started forward, but Jake beat him to it.

  “He’s twenty-six. Why don’t you set the table and I’ll scramble the eggs.” After taking the spatula from Sterling, Jake set it on the stove, grabbed a towel off the counter and wiped up the mess.

  Sterling leaned against the cabinets next to Jake. “He’s hairy. I’ve never seen an Apache with a beard.”

  “He isn’t Apache. His father was Cherokee and his mother is Scottish.”

  “Is he married?”

  “No.” Jake stood, handing the dirty towel to Sterling.

  Sterling took it and tossed it in the sink. “Girlfriend?”

  Jake chuckled and shook his head. “No, he doesn’t have a boyfriend either.”

  “So he is gay?”

  Jake turned to Sterling, pointing at him with the spatula. “Yes, he is. Why all the questions?”

  “I was just curious. Can’t a guy ask questions anymore?”

  Going back to the stove, Jake groaned. He spotted Remi and smiled. “Morning.”

  “Shhh…don’t talk to him yet.” Sterling dug through the cupboard for a mug and headed to the coffeemaker. “He’s a real dickhead without his first cup.” He poured some coffee and brought it to Remi.

  Taking the mug, Remi scowled at his brother. He was not a dickhead without coffee.

  Sterling, the smartass, backed away making bowing motions.

  Jake chuckled and turned back to the eggs. “You better watch it, kid. If that’s true he’s liable to strangle you.”

  “Nah, ’cause I remembered to make the coffee in the first place.” After opening the cabinet, Sterling got three plates and began setting the small card table Remi used as a kitchen table.

  “Don’t push your luck. You made the coffee for yourself.” Taking a sip, Remi savored the strong brew. Ah.

  “I haven’t even had my cup yet.” Sterling went to the drawer and pulled out silverware.

  Jake turned around, his mouth hanging open. “Oh God. Sterling on caffeine?”

  Remi nodded. “Yeah, it’s not pretty, but I can’t seem to break him of the habit. Mom and Dirk have been letting him drink it since he was seven. I’ve, at least, gotten him down to one cup.”

  A phone rang. It wasn’t the house phone or Remi’s cell phone.

  Jake took his
phone off his belt and looked at it. “Not mine. I forgot to turn mine back on apparently.” Pushing the button, he clipped the phone back to his belt and went back to filling the other plates.

  “Hey, that’s my phone.” Sterling ran toward his room.

  Remi groaned. What if that had rung when Sterling was with Dirk? “If he’s been giving his number out to his friends I’m going to kill him. I told him not to, it’s supposed to be for emergencies only.”

  With the pan held out in one hand, Jake grabbed Remi behind the neck with the other and kissed him on the lips. “How do you feel?”

  “Umm…” Remi kissed back. “Fine.”

  Jake grinned and let go of Remi. “Sterling questions everything. He’s been hounding me for info on Rhys for the last thirty minutes.”

  “Sorry, you should have woken me.” Why was Sterling so interested in Rhys? What else had Sterling been asking about?

  “Sorry? Why are you sorry?”

  “Sterling can be a little, er, talkative at times if you haven’t noticed.” Talkative was an understatement. Sterling was a motormouth.

  “I like Sterling. He doesn’t bother me in the least, pup.” Jake put the pan in the sink. After getting himself a glass, he poured water in it and jerked his head toward the table. “Let’s eat.” He set his glass down and went to the microwave, pulling out a plate of bacon. After setting it on the table, he grabbed the dish rag, opened the oven and extracted a plate with several pieces of toast. “Couldn’t find the toaster.”

  Damn, Jake and Sterling had made bacon and toast too? “Sterling broke the toaster.”

  “Broke the toaster?”

  “Yeah, he had three cups of coffee one morning while he was making breakfast. The toaster jammed and he threw it against the wall. That’s why he’s only allowed one cup now.” Remi took another drink of coffee and sat at the table.

  Jake sat next to him, scooting his chair close. He picked up his fork, and his brow furrowed. “I hate to bring this up, but last night…”

  The dream. Fuck. “What about it?” Remi asked hesitantly.

  “I need you to think about it. I know it has to be painful, but if you can come up with something to prove it was real, we can nail his ass.”

  “What if it wasn’t real? What if it’s all in my head?” Then again, what if it did happen? Remi couldn’t recall very much about that period in his life. Hell, he barely remembered Billy. Had he blocked out his relationship with Billy too?

  Jake shook his head. “I don’t think so. I think it’s exactly what happened to you. I’ve already got Rhys looking into it.”

  Remi dropped his gaze. Fuck. He knew Rhys was Jake’s partner, but…

  “He’s had run-ins with Dirk before.”

  “Huh?” Remi raised his eyes.

  “Rhys worked for the FBI. His ex-boss worked that case. Said it felt wrong to him even back then. Apparently, your father made an impression on most of the agents, and it wasn’t a good one.” Jake cupped Remi’s cheek. “You have nothing to be ashamed of.”

  “I know. I’m not ashamed of that. Dirk is fucked up, he always has been, I’ve always known that. But what if it really happened and I didn’t tell anyone? What if I let Dirk get away with it?” Not only would he have failed Billy, but all this time he could have been rid of Dirk.

  Jake kissed Remi’s forehead. “Even if you had remembered it sooner, do you honestly think you could’ve made a difference? On reservations the FBI oversees murder investigations, but even they dropped the case. Who the hell knows who Dirk has in his hip pocket? Let me find out more and we’ll go from there.”

  Remi nodded. Jake was right. They should make certain the dream was real and see who all was involved first. He’d have to rack his brain and see what he could come up with. Maybe talking to his friends would help jog some memories. If that dream had been real, he didn’t want to remember it, but remembering would help Remi get Sterling away from Dirk. Speaking of Sterling… “ Sterling.”

  “Coming,” Sterling yelled from the other room.

  Jake ran his finger down Remi’s cheek. “You look damn good this morning.”

  Remi smiled. He felt damn good this morning. He’d never imagined actually having a real relationship, much less one like he and Jake had. He’d never thought that far ahead. “Thank you, sir. Thank you for saving me…for changing me.”

  A slow grin spread across Jake’s lips. He blinked a few times, his eyes misty, then kissed Remi again. His lips were soft and gentle. “I hate to admit it, pup, but I did it for selfish reasons.”

  “Because I’m your mate?” Remi whispered against Jake’s lips.

  Jake nodded. “You’re mine.”

  “I’m glad.”

  “Hold on and I’ll let you talk to Jake,” Sterling said, coming into the kitchen. Handing the phone to Jake, the little shit grinned from ear to ear. What had he seen? “It’s Rhys.” Did he just sigh?

  Nah, must be Remi’s imagina— Rhys? What was Rhys doing calling Sterling’s phone? More to the point, how’d he get the number?

  Frowning at the phone, Jake gave Sterling a hesitant look and put the phone to his ear. “Hello?”

  Jake asked what Rhys wanted and how he got that number, but Remi turned to Sterling. “How does Rhys have your number?”

  Taking the seat across from Jake, Sterling shrugged. “Don’t know. He wouldn’t tell me. He said he was a PI, it was his job to find out things.”

  Hmm… “You need to keep it turned off unless you’re calling me. What if you got a call at home or something and Dirk heard it ring?”

  “I usually keep it turned off. I forgot last night after I called Jake.” He picked up his fork and took a bite of his eggs. Grabbing a piece of toast and bacon, he put them on his plate and went to get himself some coffee. He had a strange smirk on his face.

  Jake hung up the phone and handed it to Sterling, his mouth tight.

  “Everything okay?” Remi asked.

  Shaking his head, Jake took a drink of water and stood. “I have to go.” He kissed Remi’s head almost absently, then walked around and ruffled Sterling’s hair.

  Okay, that was strange. Remi watched him leave the kitchen. Something was up. Did it have to do with pack stuff?

  As if Jake heard his thoughts, he peeked back in the kitchen door, his helmet in hand and his saddlebags over his shoulder.

  “I’ll see you tonight. Meet me at my house at seven.” He glanced at Sterling, then back at Remi as if he wanted to say more. “Are you taking him home?”

  Remi started to say yes, but Sterling looked up from his food. “Me? Nah, I called Mom. She’s going to pick me up after Dirk goes to work tonight.”

  Jake nodded and turned his attention to Remi. “I’ll tell you about it tonight.” Then he left.

  Remi stared at the empty doorway until the front door clicked shut and he heard Jake’s bike start. What had happened? He noticed Sterling smiling. “What?”

  Taking a bite of toast, Sterling smiled.

  “Did Rhys say anything to you? What were you talking about for so long?”

  Again Sterling shrugged. “I told him Jake said his bike was acting screwy and asked him if Gadget got it fixed. Then we started talking about football and motorcycles and…” Sterling went on about the things he’d talked about with Rhys, but Remi stopped listening.

  Remi grinned thinking about poor helpless Rhys stuck on the phone with Sterling. The poor man had looked absolutely pitiful the day they played football and Sterling followed him around talking. Rhys didn’t talk much himself. Then again, with Sterling around no one talked much. How could they? They couldn’t get a word in edgewise.

  “Are you listening to me?” Sterling waved his hands in front of Remi.

  “No.”

  “I’m telling you something important.”

  “I’m sorry, tell me again.” Remi picked up his coffee cup, still grinning as he took a sip.

  “I said I think I’m gay.”

  Remi drop
ped his cup. What? It felt like someone had stabbed him in the gut. Memories of Dirk calling him a faggot and kicking him in the face flashed through his mind. Then he saw Billy lying in a puddle of his own blood. Oh God. He was going to be sick. Using the heels of his hands, Remi rubbed his eyes.

  Jumping up, Sterling got a dishtowel and wiped the table off. “What’s wrong with you?” He tossed the towel at the sink and put his hands on the table, glaring at Remi.

  Remi stood, pointing his finger in Sterling’s face. He gritted out each word to be sure Sterling heard him. Maybe if he said it slow, Sterling would realize it was the truth. “You. Are. Not. Gay.”

  “I think I am. And why the hell do you care? Obviously you are too.”

  “What? I am not! It’s a were—” Fuck, fuck, fuck. Remi slammed his fist on the table, making food jump off plates and Sterling’s coffee slosh onto the table. He’d almost said it was a werewolf thing.

  “Fine, bisexual. Whatever.” Sterling kicked his chair out of the way, sending it clattering to the floor, and stomped past Remi.

  Remi caught his arm on the way by.

  “Leave me alone.” Sterling tried to jerk his arm away.

  “I’m sorry.”

  Tears streamed down Sterling’s face. His lip trembled. It tore Remi’s heart out.

  Remi tugged him close, hugging him tight, his own eyes filling with tears. “I’m so sorry. I love you, I could never be mad at you for being who you are. I’m just…scared.”

  Nodding, Sterling hugged Remi back. They stood there for several minutes. Remi wanted everything Dirk had done to go away.

  “I thought you’d understand,” Sterling whispered in a shaky voice full of tears.

  Fuck, he wished Jake were still here. And how weird was that? Remi had never had a hard time expressing himself to Sterling, but he couldn’t tell Sterling how afraid he was. Or how Dirk may or may not have nearly killed Remi for the same damn thing Sterling was now confessing to.

  Oh God. He was gay and had been all along, but he’d never had the courage to admit it. How could he have ignored his sexuality? He’d shut out who he really was deep inside to protect himself. Sterling was what he wanted to be. Sterling was comfortable with himself in a way Remi never had been. He’d made Sterling that way and now he’d yelled at Sterling for it.