Bound to Break: Men of Honor, Book 6

by SE Jakes

  “What’s going on here, Dash? Between you and me, what the hell’s really going on? Is it more than just sleeping together?”

  “Yes.”

  “But it started out as a job for you. So how many others have you slept with for the job?”

  “Are you only counting the men?”

  “What do you think?”

  “I think a smart man would find a way to avoid this conversation.”

  Lucky snorted. “So it’s a lot then.”

  “Yeah, it is. You learn a lot about a person when their defenses are down. Sex is the best at that.”

  “Doesn’t that mean your defenses are down too?”

  “What do I really have to hide? I’m seeking information and they think the reason is because I’m interested in them. And I am.” He locked his eyes to Lucky’s. “With you, I was interested in you beyond the job. I know how lame it sounds to say we connected that first night, but I dare you to argue otherwise.”

  “I’m not denying it,” Lucky told him.

  “That’s why you weren’t completely pissed at me.”

  “I was pissed. But I wanted to prove that I’d never hurt you or your family.”

  “So we’re really doing this,” Dash said, more to himself than to Lucky.

  “I guess we are. Yeah.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  Things were slowly returning to normal for Rex and Sawyer, although Rex realized that neither man wanted their old normal. They were both ready to stretch, and Rex knew that Sawyer had been right when he’d said they didn’t know each other well.

  It was all sex and work, work and sex. It was time to dig deeper. There was no choice. So while he and Sawyer ate Chinese takeout from the cartons in the living room and Rex told him about seeing Lucky, about how Lucky had been released to an apartment but would continue with his therapy sessions, Sawyer seemed more at ease.

  “I’d like you to meet him,” Rex said. “He wants to meet you.”

  “Yeah, I’d like that.” Sawyer wound some noodles around his fork. “We’ve got tomorrow night off.”

  “I was thinking we could spend some time on my boat.”

  “You have a boat?” Sawyer asked stupidly.

  Rex nodded. “Just got her ready for the season.”

  “I go back and forth between liking not knowing everything about you and worrying that we missed some big steps,” Sawyer muttered and stood. He grabbed some of the empty containers to bring to the garbage, but Rex stopped him, saying, “Sawyer, we save each other’s lives. We know what each of us will do under the worst conditions. We’re closer than most people get in a lifetime.”

  “Doesn’t mean I don’t want to know what you like to do.”

  “Besides you?”

  “Can you be serious?”

  “Fine. I fish.”

  “Okay, so let’s go.”

  “Do you fish?”

  “For me to know and you to find out,” Sawyer said as he went into the kitchen.

  “You sound like you’re two,” Rex called after him.

  Sawyer knew how to fish. Or at least, Rex assumed he did, based on the way he threaded the lines, hooked the bait and tackle and rigged the lines.

  “Let me guess—you did this off a yacht?” Rex asked him as he steered through the marina and headed out into the ocean just before sundown.

  “No,” Sawyer corrected with a smirk, then added, “But we did travel on the yacht for a few summers.”

  Rex nuzzled his neck. “You were yachting. I was cleaning fish for rich guys like you.”

  Sawyer reached back and rubbed his head. “Betcha all the rich guys hit on you.”

  “I did all right.”

  After an hour of travel, Rex stopped in one of his favorite spots, near a cove that was secluded plus a great spot for fishing.

  As for Sawyer, the water was a second home to him, and he wasn’t to be deterred from taking dives off the boat even before Rex got them to their destination. He swam along next to the boat for some of the trip, like a puppy who needed to work off his energy before he could relax.

  “This is great,” Sawyer said now as he climbed back into the boat, naked and dripping wet.

  “Would’ve taken you out here a lot sooner if I’d known I’d be getting a show.”

  Sawyer smirked but made no move to towel off. “You have too many clothes on.”

  “Agreed.”

  Rex undid his cargos, but instead of taking them off, he sat with his pants open and motioned for Sawyer to come closer. “Climb on.”

  Sawyer did as Rex told him as Rex popped open the lube he’d grabbed from his pocket. He reached around Sawyer and fingered him as the man groaned and pushed back against his fingers.

  Darkness covered them. Coupled with the lights on the boat that wouldn’t allow anyone to see in without being pulled up right next to them, they were shielded from any prying eyes that might come by.

  “I hope we don’t get arrested for this,” Rex said.

  “Sex is allowed in open water.”

  “Not a free show.”

  No one was around, but Sawyer didn’t seem concerned at all. He pushed Rex’s hand away and grabbed Rex’s cock instead. Angled it and pushed his body down over Rex’s cock, slowly, so fucking slowly that Rex thought he’d lose his mind. But this was his show, so Rex watched Sawyer’s face until he was balls-deep inside him.

  “Beautiful boy,” he murmured.

  “Ah, he falls back on Dom terminology,” Sawyer said, then moaned when Rex angled his hips and drove himself in deeper.

  “You seem to like it.”

  “Yeah.” Sawyer put his hands on either side of the railing behind him and moved up and down. Kissed Rex. Moaned against his mouth. He lost track of time, of everything except the way Sawyer’s body moved against his.

  A slow shudder of release happened for Sawyer first. He looked surprised as hell that it snuck up on him. “Fuck, Rex.”

  Rex grabbed his hips and thrust up several times before his own orgasm blinded him. Sawyer grabbed him, held him tight as they both continued to shudder through the aftershocks.

  When Sawyer moved back, Rex took his T-shirt off and used it to wipe the rest of Sawyer’s come off the man’s belly and chest. Sawyer grinned unrepentantly.

  “Don’t fish naked,” Rex advised.

  Sawyer climbed off him. “Jesus, my legs are like jelly.”

  Rex stood, snaked an arm around Sawyer’s waist as Sawyer pulled his shorts on. Held him for longer than he needed to, because it felt damned good. Better than it had in a long time. Sawyer learned against him and the sound of the water lapping the boat lulled them into nearly sleeping on their feet.

  Hell, they’d both had experience in that.

  Finally, Rex went and set up the lines and they fished blues until close to midnight. Did the whole catch and release thing for all of them.

  This was what they’d needed, time together, space from work. Time apart from the rabid need for sex that always grabbed them, because they never seemed to have enough time together.

  “Who taught you to fish?” Rex asked.

  “My dad. He was Navy. He died when I was five.”

  “Accident?”

  Sawyer looked straight ahead at the ocean when he said, “Yes. He drowned. Took his speedboat out during a storm, because he loved storms.”

  “Sawyer…”

  “And before you say anything, I’m obviously okay on boats, Rex. I joined the fucking Navy.”

  Rex rubbed a hand along the back of Sawyer’s neck. “It was still hard on you.”

  “Yeah, it was. I don’t remember much, but I remember time on the boat with him. Not the yacht or the speedboat, but a dinky little fishing boat he’d row out onto the lake near our house. After he died, mom got rid of it. I guess she thought it would make her grief easier. And then I got sick.”

  Rex’s insides froze. He tried to keep his voice as normal as possible when he said, “Sick?”

  “Yeah,
leukemia. Went into remission when I was six,” he said. “I’d been clear for twelve years when I enlisted, so I was able to get a waiver.”

  “And you get checked for it regularly?”

  “Yeah, Doc checks for me,” Sawyer said quietly.

  “And everything’s okay?” he asked, surprised how calm he sounded because he swore his heart nearly dropped to the fucking ground.

  “It’s fine, yes. Tests just came back yesterday. All clear still.”

  “I’m glad you told me.”

  “I didn’t want to freak you out.”

  “I’m trying not to,” Rex admitted. “But it’s better that I know.”

  Sawyer looked like he had something else to tell him. “It kind of runs in my family. Skipped my dad but my grandfather…same thing happened. Only his came back when he was an adult.”

  “How old was he when it came back?”

  “Twenty-eight.”

  Sawyer’s age. Jesus Christ. “I’m guessing you left that bit of family history out when the Navy asked?”

  “I didn’t know, Rex. At the time I enlisted, I didn’t know, so yeah, I left it out.” His voice sounded raw. “My mom didn’t want it hanging over my head and my grandfather died long before I was born—his medical records are somewhere in Europe. She thought I’d been through too much. And she figured that I shouldn’t spend all that time worrying about it. When I was younger, she kept bringing me for tests and she knew I’d have to be in the Navy so…”

  “When did she tell you?”

  “She never did. My stepdad finally did, about two years ago. He thought I had a right to know.”

  “What do you think?”

  “It’s not the reason I’m angry with my mom. You know what bothers me about her, but at the same time, I understand. She loved Dad. Couldn’t get over it.” He sighed. “I would’ve worried the entire time I knew. I almost wish my stepfather didn’t tell me.”

  Rex tried to keep calm, because he understood what Sawyer was saying—there was no good choice there. “Like you said, you get tested. They didn’t have the same advances then as they do now.”

  “Right,” Sawyer said firmly.

  “Come here.” Rex put the line down. Sawyer did too and Rex just held him tight for a long time.

  “Not how I wanted to tell you,” Sawyer said. “Didn’t want to ruin the first night we’ve both been able to get away from all the shit.”

  “Doesn’t matter. I don’t want to get away from anything that has to do with you, understand?”

  Sawyer nodded, and Rex held him tighter to make sure he did. “I wish we could stay out here all night.”

  “Your wish, my command,” Rex told him, because he couldn’t think of a better night to keep Sawyer all to himself, away from the reach of the world. “We can pull the inflatable mattress and sleep right out here, under the stars.”

  Sawyer finally smiled.

  “Wait here. Let me fix everything.” Rex was well aware of how badly he wanted those words to apply to everything in Sawyer’s life. For tonight, he did what he could, got the mattress and blankets and radio and food, put everything near them. Anchored so they wouldn’t drift too far out. And then he tucked Sawyer in next to him. The man shivered against him, the strain of the past obviously weighing heavily on him.

  “Tell me what I can do to make it easier.”

  “Just knowing you know helps. I can tell Doc you can check with him about my tests too.”

  “That would help me,” Rex said. “But that’s not what I asked.”

  Sawyer still looked so troubled. “When my dad drowned…he didn’t die right away. The Coast Guard found him. Pulled him out and revived him, but he never really came back. They got his heart started but the docs determined he’d been under water for at least twenty minutes, based on his distress call. They were able to start his heart because the water was really cold and the medics at the scene were hoping that was enough to preserve brain function but he didn’t have any DNR papers in place, and…”

  They lived on the edge of life and death most of the time with their jobs, but this…

  “Tell me what you want, baby.”

  “She kept my dad alive longer than he would’ve wanted. I was young, but I knew that. He was really active. I remember all the wires. She wouldn’t let him go. Things got ugly with my mom because I talked to my gram about it later on, because I didn’t understand why she’d let him suffer. And then later, after my mom got remarried, things got bad because my mom and my stepdad were always fighting.”

  Rex held him tighter. “We’ll sign papers that detail exactly what you want. And if it kills me, I’ll make sure they’re followed to the letter. And we can look at the papers as a good-luck thing—if they’re in place, means we’ll never need them.”

  “Thanks,” Sawyer said quietly. “I know we’re not supposed to have that in place…”

  Because they were never supposed to go into a mission thinking of their own mortality. That was a terrible mindset.

  Some guys wrote a letter before every trip. Some didn’t. But plans like this…

  “I’ll make one too,” Rex told him.

  “You don’t have to.”

  “Do I ever do shit I don’t want to?”

  “No.”

  “Then don’t argue.”

  “Okay.”

  Rex stroked a hand through Sawyer’s hair. “I know it couldn’t have been easy telling me. Especially with what’s happening with Josh—Lucky—but I don’t want you to worry about us. I’ve got to help him. I know you understand that. But I’m not going back to him, Sawyer. You’ve got to believe me.”

  “I do, Rex. I think my issues were way more about us than they ever were about him. But being with you like this…it makes me realize that it’s okay that we still have a lot of learning about each other to do.”

  Rex slid a hand down to finger Sawyer’s ass, watched the man smile and move against his hand as his fingers got more aggressive. “Still so goddamned tight.”

  Sawyer bit at Rex’s shoulder as he added a second finger, then a third. He urged Sawyer’s leg up, hooked it over his shoulder as he continued to play with the younger man’s ass. Sawyer groaned against Rex’s chest, his breath warm, his body trembling as he fought to stay still after Rex added the fourth finger.

  He wouldn’t go further—not out here and not tonight, but seeing how responsive Sawyer was to just the mere suggestion of it made Rex put fisting on his list of things to try. And soon.

  For now, he contented himself with turning his four fingers inside Sawyer as a unit, filling him, holding him captive so all he could do was take what Rex gave him. His body had stilled, even without Rex telling him to. The look in Sawyer’s eyes was a mix of lust and peace, and he continued, keeping Sawyer in his semi-trance, not letting him rub his cock against Rex.

  Finally, he could tell Sawyer was growing desperate, but it was such a goddamned good desperate. He whimpered. His neck corded.

  “You can come from this—not letting you touch your cock.”

  “Fuck. Rex.” Sawyer’s words were barely a breath.

  “Come on, baby. Come for me.” Rex eased his fingers out, then slid one back in with his knuckle folded to brush Sawyer’s prostate with a light tap. Sawyer stiffened with that, and Rex hit his gland harder, several times quickly, and Sawyer came, spilling his come between their bodies.

  After that, Sawyer slept while Rex held him and watched the stars. He didn’t wake the man up even when he piloted the boat back before dawn, but Sawyer stretched and rose just in time to see the sun come up.

  Chapter Eighteen

  The next morning, Dash listened as Lucky checked in with Cooper, as per the agreement made for his release. They had breakfast and then Lucky went to meet Cooper for a therapy session.

  Dash didn’t see Lucky again until that afternoon at Lucky’s apartment. The man looked drained. Slightly angry and a little defeated.

  Dash hated seeing him like that. “Bad s
ession?”

  Lucky shrugged. “Don’t want to talk about it. How’s Emme?”

  Dash had promised him that he’d call Emme and let her know Lucky was okay. “She’s thrilled you’re okay. She’s still barely speaking to me.”

  Lucky looked like he wanted to say something, but he didn’t. Not on that subject. Instead, he pointed to the two large boxes Dash had carried in and set on the floor. “What are those?”

  “My photos. My work. You can look.”

  Lucky did, lifted the lids and pulled out a small stack of pictures. That one was simply labeled Chile. “What’re you doing with them?”

  “I need you to organize them.”

  “You’re giving me busy work now?”

  “Do you have something better to do?”

  “I could find something.”

  “That pays?”

  Lucky smiled. “Cash only. Small bills.”

  Dash snorted with laughter. “Just don’t fuck it up. Each job gets its own book.”

  “Any particular order?”

  “Use your judgment. I’d like to see how the work speaks to you.”

  “You trust me with that?”

  “Yeah,” Dash said. “Besides, I can always change them around.”

  Lucky absently shot him the middle finger, but he was already sitting among the stacks of pictures, engrossed in Dash’s trip to Chile.

  “I’m going to head out for a little while—I’ve got a meeting to go to, okay?” Dash told him and Lucky barely nodded. Dash was grateful he was so caught up in the photography, because he didn’t like what he’d planned for Lucky.

  But he told himself it was necessary, for both their peace of mind. For Dash’s family. The camera Dash had planted in Lucky’s apartment would capture reactions. And he felt like shit for doing it, but he knew Lucky had no expectations of privacy. Had been told as much.

  So Dash sat in his rented house in front of the computer with the camera feed and watched Lucky working with his photos.