One More Round (Gamer Boy Book 2)

by Lauren Helms

She leans back in her chair and studies me.

  “OK, Gia,” she says carefully. “You realize that he is pretty heavily medicated, right? I know he hasn’t always been very nice to you. And I don’t want you to be upset by anything he may say. Without me or your dad there with you, we won’t be able to run interference.”

  I’ve never seen her so worried about my feelings before. When I was younger, I always told her when Todd hurt my feelings, and about the things he said to me. She and Dad were well aware, but she never took sides. She always told us to work things out. I must look as confused as I feel, because she leans forward and grabs my hand, looking up at me.

  “Gia, you matter to me as much as your brother does. But he is a lot more fragile than you are—always has been. Just please take whatever he says with a grain of salt.”

  “OK, Mom. I will,” I tell her, and lean down to give her a hug. “Love you, Mom.”

  I back up and walk toward the double doors. Simon stops me before I get too far. Placing a hand on the side of my face he reminds me that I can leave anytime, and I do not have to sit there and listen to anything he has to say to me. I tell him I know and thank him with a chaste kiss. Then I continue on my way to Todd’s room.

  I’m all confidence and strength when I’m checked for weapons, when I rattle off the personal patient code for Todd, and even as I walk down the hall to his room. But as I stand on the other side of his half-closed door, my hands start to shake.

  Gah! Why do I let him get to me? What is the old children’s saying? Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.

  He’s only ever had hurtful words for me, nearly our entire lives, and I’m still standing. I know the things he says to me, about me, are untrue and I don’t dwell on them anymore. But hearing them come from someone who is supposed to share a bond so strong that nothing can break it hurts like hell.

  Taking a deep breath in through my nose, I push the door open and walk in.

  Much like before, Todd is in the same position. Following his gaze, I look out the window and notice the view. It’s actually a good view, as we are not far from downtown, so he has a lovely cityscape to look at.

  “Nice view,” I muster.

  He snorts, “Yeah, worth every penny.”

  Feeling stronger than before, I move to stand closer to his bed but I don’t allow myself to get comfortable.

  “You wanted me to come by myself, twin. So here I am,” I say, looking directly at him.

  I see the smirk at the use of the nickname. There was a very short time when we were little that we would just call each other “twin.” Occasionally, as we got older, around middle school, he would use it. When he’d wish me a Happy Birthday, or a Merry Christmas. I always took it as a sign of endearment. That maybe he didn’t always dislike me.

  His eyes lift to an airplane in the sky, it’s taking off so slowly, creeping up into the air. As soon as it disappears into the clouds he turns to me.

  “I hate you.”

  His words hit me like a ton of bricks. I’m not sure if I stagger back for real, but I grab onto the railing at the end of his bed. I open my mouth to say—what, I don’t know. So I close it again.

  But he lifts his hand to tell me to wait. That I should let him finish his attack.

  “I’ve hated you since I was old enough to realize that you and I were nothing alike. When I was the only one always getting in trouble and you were the goody-two-shoes. Mom and Dad always doted on you. Me? I was always stressing them out. I’ve hated you for so long now.”

  Well, this is probably the time when I should leave, I don’t have to hear this. But my feet are rooted to the floor. I stand here and take his verbal beating.

  “You were always happy. And I wasn’t. And since we were twins, we were supposed to share everything. At least, that’s what I thought. That's how all the other twins in our school acted. But not you. Perfect, happy, no-stress Gia. That just wouldn’t do so I figured out pretty quickly how to bring you down to my level. And wouldn’t you know? It made me feel so much better knowing you were sharing some of my pain.”

  Even if he showed any sign of being done, I don’t know what I would say.

  “There was actually a short time where you seemed as miserable as I was but then fucking Simon Palmer started hanging around. Lifting you up every time I brought you down. God, I hated him, too. The way he followed you around like a lovesick puppy. Is he still a douchebag?”

  Anger starts to overtake the sadness at this point. My feet become unglued and I start to turn to leave.

  “No. Wait. I’m not done,” he says forcefully.

  “No. I think you are. I don’t have to listen to you try to break me down and I sure as hell don’t have to listen to you talk about Simon that way,” I grind out, walking to the door.

  “I’m sorry,” he says quickly, almost pleading. Stopping me in my tracks.

  “I’m sorry I’ve hated you,” he adds. My stance relaxes just a hair at his statement. Whether I believe him this time or not, he has never once said he was sorry. I didn’t realize he knew that word existed.

  I don’t face him fully but turn my head slightly toward him to let him know I’m listening.

  He clears his throat before continuing, “When I was hallucinating, I remember thinking that you were out to get me. The voices in my head were telling me that my family was going to try and kill me. But it was in the moments of clarity that I realized, I knew it couldn’t be true because you were too good. That, even though I hated you, I didn’t truly think you hated me back. The moments of clarity, that became fewer and further between, were when I realized what was going on. That I needed to get to the hospital. So, in a way, you saved me.”

  At his admission, tears fill my eyes and I turn back to him. He sees my face and rolls his eyes.

  “Christ. Gia, don’t take everything I say to heart. I’d think you’d know that by now.”

  My eyebrows crease at his words.

  “I don’t understand how you can be so mean one second and then say something meaningful the next,” I say, managing to fight back the sob lodged in my throat.

  “Maybe because I’m a fucking nut case, Gia. I don’t know. Just, what I’m trying to say is that I’m tired of hating you. Do I think we can be the twins I know you so desperately wanted to be? No. Do I think we can even be friends? Probably not at this point. But, I’d like to get to a place that I don’t resent you. A place where I can actually somewhat care about your feelings instead of just using them against you.” I snort and hold back a laugh at this.

  “God damn, Todd. You’re such a dick.”

  A slow smile crosses his face and he huffs out a laugh.

  “I know. I can’t help it.”

  Then I regain my composure from the near blink-and-you-miss-it brotherly-sisterly interaction. The first one we’ve had in two decades.

  “Todd, I’d like it if you got to a place where you didn’t hate me, either. And when you are ready to test the waters, let me know.” I give him a genuine smile, another thing that hasn’t happened in forever. Then I tuck tail and get the hell out of his room.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Gia

  Once I leave Todd’s hospital room I go straight to the closest restroom. Standing in front of the mirror I stare at myself.

  “Breathe in, breathe out.” I repeat this mantra, over and over again. I splash water on my face to cool off. My face is red and slightly blotchy from the cry I had in the stall as soon as I entered the restroom. I know that Simon and my mother will want to know what was said, and I’m not sure I want to tell them.

  Who wants to share with the world that your twin finally confessed his reason for making your life miserable, and that reason is that he hates you. I know that, ultimately, he wants to get to a better place, but … yeah. Still hurts.

  I know my mother won’t want to believe it, but I know Simon will see right through me. I also know that I had to hold him back on several occasion
s from giving Todd a piece of his mind when we were kids. Even though neither one has ever mentioned it, I know they had words a handful of times.

  Taking another deep, calming breath, I leave the restroom and head back to the waiting area. I’m ready to go home. I don’t want to be here any longer and after our little heart-to-heart, I don’t think Todd wants me here any longer either.

  Simon stands when he sees me. My mom and dad, who were sitting next to him talking, also stand, and I can tell by her face that Mom is itching to know what happened.

  “You alright?” Simon leans in and asks as he places a kiss on my temple.

  “Yes, I’m gonna be fine. Todd had some things to say. He explained some stuff and I’m glad he did. I think things will be a little better from now on,” I tell them, trying to look hopeful, mostly for my mom’s sake. I’m not thrilled that he explained away his hate, but I guess there’s no “he hates me, he hates me not” going on.

  Simon studies my profile. Yup. He sees right through me. I sigh heavily.

  “What time is it? I’m starving.” I’m not really, but I need an excuse for us to leave.

  My dad checks his watch and tells us that it’s almost three. I look to Simon to ask him if he’s ready to get out of here when Dad gets my attention.

  “If you guys don’t mind sticking around for just a bit longer, your mom and I would like to take you to an early dinner. We’ve got a consultation with Todd’s doctors in about twenty minutes. They told us it shouldn’t be a long meeting, it’s just to go over some of the results of the tests they took this morning.”

  I’m surprised they are willing to leave the hospital, I steal a glance at my mom and she looks hopeful, I start to look back to Simon when he tells them that he’d love to have dinner with them, but it is up to me. I nod and hold back the groan of having to stay here longer. But I do want to have some Mom and Dad time.

  This makes my parents super happy, which in turn makes me happy. They tell us they will be back, and Simon and I head back to the chairs near the windows that we’d commandeered for the day.

  “Tell me the truth, Gia. What happened back there? I can tell whatever he said to you hurt you.” His tone low but commanding.

  “You’re not going to be happy. It was hurtful, but he explained why he’s always been this way toward me. So, I guess it’s fine,” I say, unable to keep eye contact with him. I start picking at my fingernails and shrug my shoulder.

  “Bullshit. Tell me what he said.”

  “I really don’t want to repeat it.”

  He swears. I see him ball his fist and then he gently lifts my chin with his knuckle, so I’m looking him in the eyes.

  “G. I need to know what he said.”

  “He told me he hates me,” I say, my voice breaking.

  “Jesus. Why the fuck would he say that?”

  “I’ll admit he did a bang-up job with his presentation, but he explained that was the reason he’s always been so horrible to me. He explained why he hated me. And that he doesn’t want to anymore. It was hard to hear it. I tried to leave, but he apologized. And I think things are going to get better between us. Probably not soon, but someday.” I truly do believe what I’m telling him, I’m not making excuses. “I did tell him he was a dick,” I half smile.

  He presses his forehead against mine and tells me that he’s proud of me. Then he kisses the tip of my nose.

  Instead of pulling out his iPad again, we look out at the view of downtown. We talk about the city and what I liked about Indianapolis. I tell him about the Circle downtown and how it feels like you are in a different city when you visit Downtown Indy. I tell him about the Canal Walk and the outdoor concert venues. And that even though I was a teenager, I loved going to the city zoo, which was one of the best zoos in the nation. He asks questions and seems to really enjoy hearing about the part of my life that didn’t include him. The one thing he doesn’t like hearing is that I became an Indianapolis Colts fan and don’t love his beloved Packers anymore. I tell him to get over it, because I am pretty sure he also roots for the Bears, so he has no room to talk.

  While it feels like only 20 minutes, we talk for over an hour before my parents come back from their meeting and are ready to go. Even though the day has been long and emotionally charged, I feel good. I think that I now have a better understanding of my mom’s reasons for always seeming biased where Todd and I are concerned. I feel better, for the first time ever, about where I stand with Todd. And mostly, I feel so much closer to Simon. He knows so much about me already, but I really feel that now we’re good and strong.

  My parents ask if we want to head downtown for dinner, since Simon mentions this is the first time he’s been to Indy. We spend a couple of hours with them, and then they leave us to head back home. My mom hugs me and tells me to have fun and stay safe. And that they won’t wait up.

  Having been left to our own devices, Simon and I go exploring. We stroll up and down the busy streets hand in hand. We stop for chocolates and then drink our soda from the old school soda shop on the steps of the Soldiers and Sailors Monument in the center of Indianapolis.

  As it starts to get later, the music from the bars and clubs begins to pour into the streets. We pop into a few but we end up at the dueling piano bar. With drinks in hand, we find a table for two near the stage. It’s so much fun and the crowd is enjoying every minute of the duel. But at some point, during the show—probably about the time I killed my second, and last, lemon drop for the night—I become ultra-aware of everything Simon does and says. Every place he puts his hand. Every time he leans into me to tell me something. I know the exact distance between us and all I can think about is how I want more of him.

  At first, I think it’s all one-sided until I feel his heated gaze. I turn to him and am greeted with lust-filled eyes. I blink, then look at his lips. He knows what he wants and doesn’t hesitate when he reaches up, grabbing the back of my head and pulling in for a kiss.

  His lips are commanding, his tongue demanding. I drink it up and my hand goes to his hair pulling him in closer. Our heated kiss doesn't last long when he pulls back and looks me in the eyes.

  “I want you so fucking bad. But I need to get another water in me before I can drive.”

  “OK. I won’t jump you again.” I breathe heavily. Laughing, he shakes his head.

  “Yeah, I’m pretty sure I jumped you.”

  I just shrug. “Meh, who knows.”

  “By all means, please feel free to jump me anytime.” He places his hand high enough on my thigh that heat scorches through my jeans and desire pools low in my core.

  Honestly, I can’t remember the last time I wanted someone as badly as I want Simon. It’s like the past several months has been extended and angry foreplay. Until recently, the anger turned into more lustful, fierce desire.

  I don’t know how we manage it, but we sit through several more duels and Simon’s two more waters and consume an order of mozzarella sticks without being kicked out for public indecency.

  I might have kept my hands to myself, but my thoughts were on where I’d like to put my hands the entire time we sat there, pretending I didn’t want to just maul him.

  “You ready to blow this Popsicle stand?” he finally asks.

  Lifting a seductive eyebrow, I reply, “Well I mean, blow, lick, it’s up to you, but I’m ready.”

  He nearly chokes on the last gulp of water he was taking. And as I stand I reach out and pat his back, biting back a giggle.

  “You alright, big guy?” I ask.

  He clears his throat a couple times, nodding his head in reply.

  We walk a couple blocks back to the car in a nearby parking garage. In the car much like the night before, once we are out of downtown we are engulfed in the dark. Darkness just seems to fuel the aching want that has been building for hours. I reach my hand over and place it on his thigh.

  “Do you think your parents will be up when we get back?” he asks casually.

  “Hmm. I
don’t know. It’s almost midnight and they will be up early in the morning.”

  “Good, good,” he repeats to himself and nods his head.

  I start to move my fingers around in different motions on his thigh. But that doesn’t placate me long, so I run my hand down the inside of his leg, brushing the growing length through his jeans. His right hand that was resting on the middle console shoots up to grab the steering wheel. He doesn’t say anything, but I can tell by his white knuckles my teasing is affecting him.

  Even though I’m horny as hell and wouldn’t mind him just pulling the car over right now, I’m starting to have a bit of fun. I start in on the small talk first but continue to casually brush his hardness. The more I chat and ask him questions, the more he seems to struggle to focus on the conversation.

  “Do you think that would be fun? I mean it would be totally nerdy, but Morgan is obsessed with cereal and she would love it.”

  “Hmm. Yeah. Sure.”

  “But like, we’d all have to bring our favorite box of cereal and if you have a milk preference, you’d bring milk too. We’d end up with like eight or more cereals and way too much milk.” I brush along his dick this time with a bit more pressure.

  “But I know I would have a hard time picking what cereal to bring. So, I would bring at least two, maybe three. I’d have to bring Kix and probably Fruity Pebbles for sure. What would you bring, Simon?” I ask.

  “I … umm … I’d bring.” He shakes his head as if to get his thoughts back on the task at hand, which is my meaningless conversation about a cereal party.

  “I’m sorry, what was the question again?” he asks, clearly flustered.

  “What cereal would you bring to the party?”

  “What? Why would I take cereal to a …?” He lets out a hiss as I finally just grab him through the thick denim.

  “Simon, were you not listening to what I was saying?” I ask in a mock pout.

  “No, I was, but—” I squeeze. “Damn it, Gia, you’ve been distracting me, and I can’t drive and follow a conversation while you do that,” he says in almost a plea.