Under Tiberius

by Nick Tosches

  “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.

  “Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfill.

  “For truthfully I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one small mark shall in no way pass from the law, till all be fulfilled.

  “Whosoever therefore shall break one of these least commandments, and shall teach men so, he shall be called the least in the kingdom of heaven: but whosoever shall do and teach them, the same shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven.

  “For I say unto you, That unless your righteousness shall exceed the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees, you shall in no case enter into the kingdom of heaven.

  “You have heard that it was said of them of old time, You shall not kill; and whosoever shall kill shall be in danger of the judgment:

  “But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother as if to spit on him, ‘Raca, void and vain,’ shall be in danger of the council of the Sanhedrin: but whosoever shall say to him, ‘Nabal,’ or, ‘Moreh, you cursed fool,’ shall be in danger of the Gehenna of hell-fire.

  “Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has anything against you, leave there your gift before the altar, and go your way; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.

  “Agree with your adversary quickly, while you are in the way with him; lest at any time the adversary deliver you to the judge, and the judge deliver you to the officer, and you be cast into prison.

  “Truthfully I say unto you, You shall by no means come out from there, till you have paid the last copper coin.

  “You have heard that it was said by them of old time, You shall not commit adultery:

  “But I say unto you, That whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.

  “And if your right eye offend you, pluck it out, and cast it from you: for it is profitable for you that one of your members should perish, and not that your whole body should be cast into hell.

  “And if your right hand offend you, cut it off, and cast it from you: for it is profitable for you that one of your members should perish, and not that your whole body should be cast into hell.

  “It has been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement:

  “But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, except for the cause of fornication, causes her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced commits adultery.

  “Again, you have heard that it has been said by them of old time, You shall not swear falsely, but shall perform unto the Lord your oaths:

  “But I say unto you, Swear not at all; neither by heaven; for it is God’s throne, nor by the earth; for it is his footstool. And nor by the city of Jerusalem; for it is the city of the Great King.

  “Neither shall you swear by your head, because you cannot make one hair white or black.

  “But let your communication be, Yes, yes; No, no: for whatsoever is more than these comes of evil.

  “You have heard that it has been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth:

  “But I say unto you, That you resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite you on your right cheek, turn to him the other also.

  “And if any man will sue you at the law, and take away your coat, let him have your cloak also.

  “And whosoever shall compel you to go a mile, go with him two.

  “Give to him that asks you, and from him that would borrow of you, turn you not away.

  “You have heard that it has been said, You shall love your neighbor, and hate your enemy.

  “But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for those who despitefully use you, and persecute you;

  “That you may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he makes his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, on the Philistine as on the godly, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.

  “For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the publicans and heathen tax-gatherers do the same?

  “And if you salute your brothers only, what do you more than others? Do not even the publicans so?

  “Be you therefore perfect, just as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.

  “Take heed that you do not your alms before men, to be seen of them: otherwise you have no reward of your Father which is in heaven.

  “Therefore when you are doing your alms, do not sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites, the actors, do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory of men. Truthfully I say unto you, They have their reward.

  “But when you are doing alms, let not your left hand know what your right hand does:

  “That your alms may be in secret: and your Father which sees in secret himself shall reward you openly.

  “And when you pray, you shall not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Truthfully I say unto you, They have their reward.

  “But you, when you pray, enter into your closet, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father which is in secret; and your Father which sees in secret shall reward you openly.

  “But when you pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking.

  “Be not you therefore like unto them: for your Father knows what things you have need of, before you ask him.

  “After this manner therefore pray you: Our Father which are in heaven, Hallowed be your name.

  “Your kingdom come, Your will be done on earth, as it is in heaven.

  “Give us this day our daily bread.

  “And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.

  “And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil:

  “For yours is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.

  “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:

  “But if you forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

  “Moreover when you fast, be not, as the hypocrites, of a sad countenance: for they disfigure their faces, that they may appear unto men to fast. Truthfully I say unto you, They have their reward.

  “But you, when you fast, anoint your head, and wash your face;

  “That you appear not unto men to fast, but unto your Father which is in secret: and your Father, which sees in secret, shall reward you openly.

  “Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal:

  “But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust corrupts, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:

  “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

  “The light of the body is the eye: if therefore your eye be sound, your whole body shall be full of light.

  “But if your eye be evil, your whole body shall be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in you be darkness, how great is that darkness!

  “No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. You cannot serve God and Mammon.

  “Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what you shall eat, or what you shall drink; nor yet for your body, what you shall put on. Is not the life more than food, and the body than clothing?

  “Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much better than they?

  “
Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature?

  “And why take you thought for clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they toil not, neither do they spin:

  “And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.

  “Therefore, if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today exists, and tomorrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, oh you of little faith?

  “Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, How shall we be clothed?

  “For after all these things do the gentiles seek; for your heavenly Father knows that you have need of all these things.

  “But seek you first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

  “Take therefore no thought for the next day: for the next day shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

  “Judge not, that you be not judged.

  “For with what judgment you judge, you shall be judged: and with what measure you mete out, it shall be measured back to you again.

  “And why do you behold the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but consider not the beam that is in your own eye?

  “Or how will you say to your brother, Let me pull out the speck out of your eye; and, behold, a beam is in your own eye?

  “You hypocrite, you play-actor, first cast out the beam out of your own eye; and then shall you see clearly to cast out the speck out of your brother’s eye.

  “Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and tear you.

  “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and you shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:

  “For every one that asks receives; and he that seeks finds; and to him that knocks it shall be opened.

  “Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone?

  “Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent?

  “If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?

  “Therefore all things whatsoever you would that men should do to you, do even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.

  “Enter you in at the narrow gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leads to destruction, and many there be which go in there:

  “Because narrow is the gate, and constricted is the way, which leads unto life, and few there be that find it.

  “Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.

  “You shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles?

  “Even so every good tree brings forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree brings forth evil fruit.

  “A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit; neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit.

  “Every tree that does not bring forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire.

  “Therefore by their fruits you shall know them.

  “Not every one that says unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that does the will of my Father which is in heaven.

  “Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in your name? And in your name have cast out devils? And in your name done many wonderful works?

  “And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, you that work iniquity.

  “Therefore whosoever hears these sayings of mine, and does them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock:

  “And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock.

  “And every one that hears these sayings of mine, and does them not, shall be likened unto a foolish man, which built his house upon the sand:

  “And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell; and great was the fall thereof.”

  And it came to pass, when Jesus had ended these sayings, the people were astonished.

  For he taught them as one having authority, and not as the priests or the rabbis or the scribes. And his doctrine brought them new life.

  And there rose, echoing and resounding through the sweep of the hills, from the thousands upon thousands, the cry of the affirmation of the truth: “Amen!”

  Then again Jesus made the gesture of pressing his right hand to his heart, and he maintained this pose until the twilight obscured him.

  As reposed and silent and still was the figure of him receding into darkness, just as jubilant and animated were the multitudes on whom evening also fell. Their departure and dispersal were slow, for they talked with much excitement among themselves, stranger to stranger, kinsman to kinsman, elder to young, man to woman, man to man, woman to woman, city merchant to country peasant, synagogue-man to sinner; and almost all of them turned repeatedly to behold him, for one last time, again and again, on this day that would never be forgotten by any of them.

  And the day that was yesterday became the day that had been tomorrow.

  24

  YES, MY WORDS. AND A FEW OF HIS OWN. HE HAD DELIVERED the proclamation in Aramaic, with some Hebrew, and only here and there a retention of the original Greek in which I had composed it, such as when he left as they were the forms of the Hellenic hypokrites, in its sense of denoting a stage actor or dissembler. I did, however, recognize his references to the Pharisees and the Sanhedrin, and knew that there were no such references in my original. Nor had I written anything about spitting. Beyond these instances, I cannot say what words of his own he added to mine, and he would not later expound much to me on this.

  I sent the disciples to make their ways amid the flowings of the masses toward the passes and paths of the surrounding hills, to gather alms for the building of the new temple. The priest and the rabbi did not move. I looked at them and ordered them to do as the other disciples were doing. They followed my order with reluctance, but they followed it. I derived pleasure from commanding them. Their self-exalted status had meant increasingly little to me. Now it meant nothing.

  I sat with the donkeys, awaiting the descent of our Lord from the mount.

  Andreas, raca and nabal, returned with the fullest bag, the most money, intent on proving his avid dedication to our Lord. He held it out to Jesus, who would not touch it, but with a desultory gesture directed the mite to give it to me. Andreas did this with a look that made me want to rip the weaselish face and invidious eyes from his skull. I grabbed the bag from his hesitant clutch.

  The priest and the rabbi were reticent beggar-men. Their bags were light. Peter, as usual, cast his net wide and gainfully. From the others, the ones whose names and faces often changed and were not worth remembering, came bags of varied weight.

  There was now no doubt that we must get straightaway to Caesarea. The sum of our wealth was dangerously great.

  As we moved through the moonless night, Jesus looked to me and said with an exhausted smile: “Such a bounty of shit as could not be produced by Faith, Hope, and Charity together in a week.” He muttered to me some of the words I had written for him:

  “That whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.”

  “To please the women and bring to the men all the more of the shame they so enjoy, and all the more of protection from trespasses against them as regards their wives.”

  “I thought,” said he, “that in equating the culpability of the thought with that of the deed, you were implying that if one has thought the thought, he may as well do the deed.”

  “You have an indecent and degenerate mind,” I told him; and together we laughed awhile.

  It was then t
hat I asked him about the changes he had made to the text.

  He looked a bit surprised that I had noticed. “Nothing but a modulation here and there to rouse what lies innate in these people.”

  For the most part, I let it go at that. But I did ask him one further question:

  “And the remarks about the Pharisees and the Sanhedrin?”

  “I insinuated that the Pharisees represented ways without meaning. Nothing more. And I made no insinuations again the Sanhedrin, but referred only to their authority.”

  “Don’t you feel that it is dangerous even to make mention of these powers?”

  He reverted in a tired way to the tone he had used on the mount. But now there was humor in his voice, which was hoarse with weariness:

  “And I say unto you, May your Father which is in heaven fuck the Pharisees, as the shepherd fucks his flock; and may your Father which is in heaven fuck the Sadducees, as the shepherd fucks his flock, and may your Father which is in heaven fuck the Essenes and the Zealots, as they do fuck each other. Amen.”

  At this we both laughed. The Sadducee priest, Aaron, who walked ahead of us, turned. Had he heard our Lord’s words, or merely our laughter? We cared little.

  Jesus fell quiet for a moment, then said in earnest:

  “The people are sick of sectarian imperatives and primacies that do them no good. Besides, without risk, there is no gain.”

  At his mention of risk and gain, I told him that we must make our way to Caesarea, to there arrange with a good argentarius to safe-keep our money, which was now not only the fortune of which we had dreamt, but also a constant and increasing liability. Faith, Hope, and Charity, and our own profound but precarious good luck, could bear no more.

  And so we turned south on our western course, toward the Great Sea and Caesarea.

  It troubled me to see the fatigue with which Jesus suffered. He uttered no words, and I could hear the scrape and shuffle in the dirt of his feet, which he was barely able to raise from the ground in his labored forward motion. When we came to Narbata in the middle of the night, I insisted that we halt. I secured a room for him, and one for myself. I let the disciples fend for themselves. I was sick of the disciples. Affable Peter. The good, down-to-earth rabbi. The rodent Andreas. The gentle failed farmer who was new to us. I was sick of them all.