Going to school made time pass quickly. It kept me busy. Thankfully, I was able to get into a photography class and made friends easily. Sam had introduced me to her friends and they seemed as cool as she was. I’d also had a couple of guys ask me out, but I just didn’t feel ready for that. I wasn’t sure if it was because of Abe, or the fact I still hadn’t remembered everything. I just knew I felt panicky thinking about being alone with a guy who wasn’t Abe.
I was finally feeling better about my situation, and Abe and I seemed to be fine. I think we both realized that being together-together would only put more pressure on us. There was still the underlying attraction we felt for one another, but we knew it would be easier to keep it simple. It was a little weird though, dreaming about him, seeing him, living with him, and still not being able to have him the way my heart wanted.
Right when I was talking myself out of anything other than simple, pure thoughts . . . he entered the room, sans shirt.
“You want to watch a movie?” He scratched his stomach, nonchalantly.
“Umm, I was actually going to go out with Sam tonight,” I said biting the inside of my cheek. This was the first time I was venturing out without him and I could tell it surprised him. “If that’s okay?” I asked. Why am I asking his approval? He wasn’t my father. Hell, he was only a year older than me.
“Yeah, if that’s what you want. Are you sure you’re ready for something like that?”
“I feel like I am. I’m comfortable with her and Ty.” I knew he was probably feeling a little over-protective, but he trusted the friends I’d made. I talked about them all the time.
“Where y’all going?”
“They said something about a party. I don’t know where it is.” I shrugged.
“Sophia, I’m not trying to be an asshole, but I would feel better if I knew where you were going to be. Just in case anything happened,” he added softly. He crossed his arms and I got side-tracked by his muscular forearms.
I leaned against the counter, trying to form coherent thoughts. Why did I turn into a thoughtless school girl around him? I didn’t want to be like this. I wanted to be straight forward with him. I wanted to at least act like an adult—even though I technically wasn’t—because with everything going on around us, neither of us could afford to act our real age.
“I’ll get the address from them and text it to you.”
He was still looking at me when I turned around to put the plates in the cabinet. His expression was careful, almost calculating. I could tell he was unsure if I was making the right decision.
“I won’t stay out long. I just wanted to do something to feel normal, I guess. They’ve been asking me for a while.”
His eyes softened. “Soph, I don’t care if you go out with your friends. I want you to have fun. Just promise me you’ll call me if you need me.”
“I promise.” I finished up with the dishes and headed to my room to get ready.
Tonya had discovered she was pregnant, and Cal promised a huge bonfire next weekend to celebrate. I’d invited Sam and Ty over for it too. Tonya wanted my friends to feel welcome and, even though I wasn’t comfortable with them knowing about the details about why I was there, I liked spending time with them.
“Soph, your friends are here,” Abe yelled from the living room.
Dang, I wasn’t finished getting ready yet. I decided to wear a skirt tonight. It wasn’t that I wanted attention, but I felt like looking my best. The look I got from Abe when I walked out let me know I had nailed it.
“Damn, girl! Give a guy a break,” Ty said joking.
“Shut up. Do I look okay?” I asked, rubbing my hands down the front of my skirt. I was so nervous.
“You look amazing,” Sam gushed.
“Thanks. Guys, this is Abe—my brother,” I added.
“Hey, man, I’m Ty.”
“Samantha.”
“Good to meet you both.” He turned to me so they couldn’t hear us. “Remember, don’t take any drinks from anyone. Be careful. If you need me, call,” he said in a serious tone.
“I will. Bye.”
I followed them out to Tyler’s car in silence. I could feel Abe watching me from the front door. I got in the backseat and waved as Tyler pulled out of our driveway.
“Oh my God!” Sam shrieked. “I can’t believe your brother is so freaking hot. Why didn’t you say anything? You know I’m single!”
“Hey, I’m single too. He was lookin’ at me. I think I got a vibe off him,” Tyler tried to convince us.
“Sorry, Ty. Abe is not gay. And I don’t think he would be interested in your YOLO mantra.” I winked.
“I’m so spending the night with you next time,” Sam said making us all laugh.
The party was huge. It was in the middle of a field and I found out after we got there that it was Rob Morrison’s field. Apparently, his dad was a farmer too. I’d met Rob a couple of times at school. He sat one table over from us at lunch and typically talked to me at least once a day. He was a senior who played football and according to everyone in the entire town, he was awesome. Rumor had it, he had his pick of college teams to play for.
I sent Abe a text with the address and followed Sam and Tyler deeper into the crowd. Everyone had a red cup in their hand and was making small talk around the fire. It wasn’t too bad. I actually liked it. Sam grabbed us a drink and we found a spot near the fire.
“Sophia, right?” Rob grinned at me.
I looked up into the most amazing brown eyes. They were big, round, and expressive. I noticed he was smiling, so I did too. “Yeah.”
“I’m glad you could come.”
“Thanks.” I could tell he was a little unsure of himself and I imagined it was because I wasn’t falling at his feet the way every other girls did.
He put his hands in his pockets and bounced from foot to foot. “You wanna take a walk?” Rob asked, looking a little anxious.
I glanced at Sam, then back at the crowd. I wasn’t frightened; I just didn’t want us to get separated. I guess he could see the indecision in my reaction.
“We’ll just go right over there.” I looked over to the large tree with the tire swing hanging from it. It wasn’t too far from the crowd and I knew I would still have eyes on Ty and Sam.
“Go ahead, Soph. We’ll wait here,” Ty said.
“Okay.”
He led the way and I tried to keep up with him in heels.
“Sorry, I know its cliché, but I kind of made sure this party was huge because I was hoping if more people knew about it, it would give me a better chance of you being here.”
“Why?” I blurted.
He chuckled. “Honestly? I’ve wanted to ask you out for a while, but I kept watching the guys in school getting knocked down like dominos.”
That made me chuckle. “It’s not that big of a deal. I just didn’t want to go that route since I was new here.”
“But, you’re not that new anymore.”
“I guess not.” I shrugged.
“You’re hard to read.” He smiled when he said it, so I didn’t take offense. I was more curious.
“How?”
“I don’t know. Most girls flirt.” He shrugged. “In case I wasn’t clear earlier, I think you’re cool. I’d like to hang out with you.”
I was making him nervous and it was empowering, like I had the control. With Abe, that was definitely not the case. He always took the lead and I never made him nervous. This could be a new experience and honestly, I liked how I affected him. He was the most popular guy here and he was making time for me.
“Hang out?” I liked him, but hang out was code name for screw. That wasn’t me, and if he wanted to date me, then he was going to have to ask.
“Uh, go out. Sorry.” His hand ran through his hair, making him seem bashful.
“I think we could do that. I’d like to get to know you better.”
“Awesome.”
I grinned, feeling appreciated. It made me feel good he’d si
ngled me out, with all of the other girls around. I could feel people gawking at us, but he didn’t acknowledge it. I wasn’t sure if he did it for me, or if he just didn’t care. Either way, I appreciated it.
We ended up staying at the tree for two hours, with him pushing me in the tire swing. Rob’s friends kept coming over, but he made no secret he was trying to get to know me, so they didn’t hang around too long. They were nice enough, in the typical high school-jock sort of way. They brought us three beers, so I was grateful for that anyway. I drank them, but Abe’s warning before I left circled my brain every time I took a drink.
I liked talking to Rob. He seemed sincere and spoke about picking a college. He was going to play football wherever he went, but his parents were riding him pretty hard about going to a college he didn’t want to attend. He wasn’t sure what he was going to do yet.
“You’re easy to talk to,” he said taking my free hand.
I thought about pulling it away, but it felt nice. It didn’t spook me. “You too.” I took in our entangled hands. His hands were nothing like Abe’s. They didn’t have one callous on them, nor one ounce of dirt anywhere near his nail beds. Abe even had to use a special kind of soap to get all the grease off him when he got home from work. I shook away the comparison and kept my hand in his.
“I know this is early, but do you think maybe I could take you out next Saturday, like on a real date?”
“Oh, I can’t. The ranch we live on, the people who own it, are having a bonfire that night.”
“What ranch?”
“B and B. Cal and Tonya Brooks own it.”
“You live with Cal and Tonya?”
“Umm, yeah. We live in one of the houses on their property. My brother works for them.” I got edgy when he called them by name. He knew them too, and I didn’t want him asking me any questions about how I knew them.
“Cool. I’ve known them my whole life. They are great people.”
“Yes, they are. We like them.”
“I guess I’ll see you at their place then. My family was invited too.”
“Sounds good.”
We stayed separated from the others for a little while longer, before Sam came over and interrupted us. “We gotta jet. Our ‘DW not I’ driver got wasted. I’m gonna need help getting his lying-ass to the car,” she huffed.
“Did you not drink?” I asked knowing full-well I wasn’t capable of driving. I wasn’t too excited about having to call Abe my first night out to have him pick me up.
“I tried to get a buzz, but when I noticed him doing the keg stand a while back, I stopped,” she said crossing her arms.
Rob and I laughed at her disposition. I wasn’t drunk, but I had downed four or five beers. I would have laughed at her regardless, but with the alcohol in my system—I lost it. After a few seconds of laughing out loud, I regained my composure.
“Do you guys need a ride?” Rob asked.
“No, we’re good. We do need help getting him to the car though,” Sam answered.
“Lucky for you, I have a whole football team at your service,” he said standing up.
“Thanks,” we said together.
Rob and his friends helped us put Tyler in the backseat. It was quite comical too, because Ty kept hitting on them. A few of them looked uncomfortable, but Rob took it in stride, embarrassing me first, of course.
“Tyler, I’d probably be interested, man, but I’m working hard on getting Sophia to date me. If I went out with you, how do you think that would make me look? She doesn’t look like someone who would be interested in sloppy seconds,” he said pushing Ty’s feet in.
“Like one cool, open-to-anything, crazy . . . asshole,” Tyler grunted.
We all laughed and Rob shut the door. “He’s gonna pass out in a minute.”
“I know.” I shook my head baffled at how quickly Ty had become intoxicated. “Thanks for helping.”
“No problem. So, since you agreed to go out with me, am I allowed to talk to you at school?” He joked.
“Of course, here, I’ll even give you my phone number.”
He moved up close, like in my personal space. Sam and Tyler were in the car arguing over something, and Rob’s friends had already gone back to the party, leaving us alone outside the vehicle.
“May I kiss you?” He looked me straight in the eyes.
I didn’t expect him to be so forward after he was acting shy half of the night. Then again, Abe would have just done it, he wouldn’t have even asked. Ugh, I have got to stop thinking about Abe. He’d made it perfectly clear we couldn’t work. I tried to shake away the guilt of him sitting at home by himself.
“Yes,” I whispered.
He wrapped one hand around my neck and grabbed my waist with the other, pulling me close. It was a soft kiss, barely touching my lips. I moved my mouth with his, opening so he could deepen the kiss. It wasn’t long and I liked how he hadn’t pushed it. It was sweet.
“I’m going to call you tomorrow.”
“Okay, thanks for tonight. I had fun.”
“Me too.”
I didn’t even get all the way in the car before Sam was giving me crap. “I cannot believe this shit! Do you have any idea who you’re dating?”
I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, Rob Morrison.”
“Damn, Soph. He is so freaking hot.”
“Hotter than my brother?” I joked.
“Hell no! Sorry,” she glanced at me, “but Abe’s dark hair and five o’clock shadow is amazing. Blue eyes—freaking awesome blue eyes—and his muscles, holy hell, how did he get those?”
I wasn’t necessarily jealous. Sam didn’t know any different and everything she was saying was true. Abe was amazing. I wanted to be a good friend to her, I really did, but there was no way I was hooking her up with him. I wouldn’t be able to take it.
“Are you going to be able to get him inside his house?” I asked as we pulled up to my house.
“Yeah, I shot his brother a text. He’s gonna come help me when we get there.”
“Okay, I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“You mean today?” She winked.
“Crap, what time is it?” I asked, realizing I hadn’t texted Abe all night.
“Twelve-forty. Are you going to be in trouble?”
“Nah, I’ll talk to you later. Be careful.”
I turned to walk onto the porch and noticed the living room light on. It wasn’t that I felt like he would be mad at me, I just felt bad I hadn’t even texted him throughout the night. I opened the door and walked into a quiet room and a pissed off Abe.
“Where in the hell have you been?”
“I told you where I was,” I said, surprised he yelled.
“I’ve been calling and texting you since nine-thirty, Sophia,” he huffed.
“I’m sorry, my phone was in my pocket and I didn’t hear it.” I felt guilty.
“I’ve been worried sick.” He ran his hands over his facial hair, his face pained. He hadn’t even looked this upset when we were escaping Pat and Jim’s. I felt a pang of disappointment in myself that his worry made me feel happy. I shouldn’t have been relieved he was concerned about me.
“I really—”
“Have you been drinking?”
“I had three beers—no, four,” I corrected, trying to remember if it had been more.
“Sophia, you can’t—”
“Can’t what? Be normal? I’m only doing what every other sixteen-year-old at my school does, Abe. Why are you judging me? You’ve told me stories about yourself doing much worse.” Had I been completely sober, I probably wouldn’t have said that last part, but I wasn’t, so I did. I stood up straight so I could project a certain amount of confidence.
“Yeah, I have, but you’re better than that.” He tugged his T-shirt over his head and walked back to his room.
I turned out the lights and slowly walked down the hallway toward our rooms. I wanted to knock on his door and apologize, but I was still buzzed from the alcohol and he was clearl
y angry. I walked into my room taking off my clothes on the way, and didn’t bother putting on night clothes as I flung myself on the bed. I crawled back down to my discarded skirt at the end of the bed and grabbed my cell out of the back pocket. I opened Abe’s texts.
ABE: Are you having fun? 9:30pm
ABE: Soph? 9:45pm
ABE: Ok, I’m getting worried now. 10:25pm
ABE: Now I’m pissed. 11:30pm
ABE: If you’re not home in 15, I’m coming to get you. 12:38am
I closed my eyes, feeling even worse than when he yelled at me. How was it that I finally went out tonight and actually had a wonderful time with Sam and Tyler, who were hilarious, and Rob who was the sweetest, but I was still going to sleep sad. I know why. It’s because the one person I cared about the most was angry with me and he had every right to be.
Our birthdays were this week and I had absolutely no idea of how to celebrate them. Normally, mine passed without so much as an acknowledgment from anyone, so it was weird it would be marked this year. I knew Sophia would address it. There was no way she would let it pass without saying something. She was too sweet for that.
We’d discussed a party, but both of us were still a little gun shy with the whole crowd thing. She was becoming more outgoing due to school, but I still couldn’t shake the anxiety of being the center of attention to that many people. We would have been under a microscope the whole night and I didn’t want to push it. We’d been successful with our lies so far, but I knew the more we had to tell them, there was greater room for error.
After contemplating other scenarios, I couldn’t think of anything, without it seeming like I was taking her out on a date—which deep down, I would have loved. But with everything else going on, a date would be a huge mistake. So, I decided to cook for her.
A mediocre dinner was definitely not the best birthday present, but it was the best I could do with the situation we were in. I knew a lame gift card to an electronics store was generic too, but what did you get the girl you cared about and couldn’t be with? I knew at least with the gift card, she would be able to get some equipment for her camera.
Travesty Page 13
