So Twisted

by Melissa Marino

  I entered the laundry room and retrieved a workout mat that I opened and spread onto the concrete floor. After I removed my T-shirt and tossed it onto the washer, I cranked the music on my phone again before I laid out on the mat and started doing some ab crunches. I did my regular rotation of exercises from abs to weights, but with a higher intensity than I usually did.

  As sweat covered my chest and dripped from my brows, I realized I was pushing myself harder than I should, but I couldn’t help it. The burn in my muscles, the strain of my body, was a welcomed pain different than the one I had been carrying around in my heart since last night. I pumped and pumped, thrusting my body to the edge until my concentration was broken by a tap on my shoulder.

  I spun around, and Callie was standing there. “Hey. Sorry I didn’t hear you,” I said.

  “Hi. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to disturb you,” she spoke at the same time I did.

  “Just wanted to let you know I was back.” She turned to leave, but I couldn’t let her leave without saying something about the night before. I owed her that much.

  “Callie,” I said, breathless.

  “Your brother’s here. Quite the charmer, isn’t he?” she said with a snort. No doubt he was being his usual man-hungry self the moment he met her. “He’s in the living room with Delilah.”

  She started to walk away again, but I grabbed her arm. “Callie, please hear me out.”

  Her eyes moved down my arm to where my hand was holding hers. “Yes?”

  I dropped my grip. “There’s no excuse for what I did last night. I never should have…” I trailed off while I tried to think of the right word.

  “What?” she asked.

  “I never should have,” I said, pausing again. Sweat rolled down the side of my face, and my breathing was all off. I was sure it was from the workout and nothing else, at least that’s what I told myself.

  “I don’t know what came over me, but it was wrong,” I said.

  She nodded and looked at the ground. “It’s okay.”

  “No, it’s not okay,” I said in a raised voice. “You work for me and you live here with us. I didn’t mean to walk away and leave you standing there, either. I feel horrible about the whole thing. In fact, I’d understand if you didn’t want to work here anymore.”

  Her eyes shot up and met mine straight on. While trying to decipher what she was thinking behind those green eyes, she pressed her lips together tightly. It was almost as if she wanted to tell me something, but was holding back, frightened at what her words meant.

  “I don’t want to leave,” she whispered. “Not unless you want me to.”

  “No. I don’t want you to leave, but I need you to understand that whatever happened, it was wrong. I’m your boss. Your job is taking care of my daughter and whatever this is”—I paused, wanting to make certain I was clear—“or was, is in the past now.”

  She nodded her head, but I could tell there was still something she was holding back.

  “Is there something else you wanted to talk about?” I asked.

  She took a deep breath, and to my surprise, after everything I said, she reached out and grazed her fingers along the side of my hand. “I knew all that. I mean, I know and I agree it should be in the past. It’s just that I wish…,” she struggled to say.

  I went to grip her fingers, wanting to reassure her, but remembered what I’d just said. I pulled away from her touch, not because I wanted to but because I had to.

  “What do you wish?” I asked.

  Her lips parted as she pointedly stared at my naked chest covered in sweat. “I wish,” she repeated.

  We were interrupted by Abel’s voice. “Come on, Aaron. Delilah said that she isn’t allowed to have the cookie I brought her until after she eats lunch and that you’re starving her.”

  I didn’t know who moved first, but without words, we stepped back from each other knowing it was done.

  It didn’t matter what we wanted, either of us. We nailed down what we were to each other: boss and employee.

  I wouldn’t mess up again.

  This time when she turned to walk away, I didn’t stop her. Just as she began to exit the laundry room, my brother stopped her.

  “Want a cookie, Callie? I brought plenty for all of us,” Abel said.

  “Thanks, but I’m not really hungry.” She turned to me. “You’re leaving in an hour?”

  “Yeah. I’m going to shower and then head out,” I said.

  “Okay. I’ll be in my room studying until then.”

  Abel and I were quiet as she left, but I knew he was thinking something by the way he was staring at me. “What?” I asked.

  He raised his eyebrows. “Did I interrupt something here?”

  “I was working out. I didn’t know you were coming. Just surprised to see you.”

  I knew what he meant, but I was trying to ignore it. Abel wouldn’t give up easily, though. Stubborn asshole.

  “It looked like you and Callie were holding hands right before I walked in,” he said.

  Shit.

  He must’ve been watching us before I pulled away from her.

  “Nope. We definitely weren’t,” I responded.

  “No judgment if something was going on.”

  I gave him a dirty look and rolled my eyes. “She’s my nanny, asshole.”

  “Yeah, you’ve said that before, but I’m still not buying it, especially after meeting her. Damn, man.”

  I wasn’t going to have this conversation with him again. “I’m not blind. Of course I think she’s attractive. I’ve told you that before. I hired her not for her looks, but for her ability to take care of my daughter.”

  “That’s cool,” he said nonchalantly. “Then I assume it isn’t a big deal if I ask her out.”

  Yes, it was a big deal. It was a big fucking deal, but again, I couldn’t let him know that. I couldn’t even let myself know that. If I protested in any way, he would see right through it, I knew he would. Plus, I had to stand my ground with Callie and show her I meant it when I told her there couldn’t be anything between us, even if I wanted there to be.

  “Why would I care who she went out with?” I responded before grabbing my shirt. “I mean, it’s a little close for comfort, so be careful, but go for it.”

  We went into the kitchen where I made a green protein smoothie. I had to force every bit of it down because the thought of Callie and Abel going out together made me sick.

  “Thanks for the cookies,” I said to Abel when we were finished. “Delilah should call you Uncle Sugar considering you show up with it every time you’re here.”

  “Huh?” He said, running his hands across his beard. “Uncle Sugar has a nice ring to it.”

  “Daddy?” Delilah asked.

  “Yes, sweetheart.”

  “Can I go ask Callie if it is time for the pet store yet?”

  “Why don’t you wait a few more minutes until she’s ready, okay?”

  “That’s all right,” Callie said, breezing into the room. “I’m ready now. Why don’t you go get your shoes on and we’ll go see the puppies?”

  Delilah ran off to get her shoes and the three of us stood in the kitchen.

  “So, Callie when are your nights off?” Abel asked.

  “I’m off on Friday and Sunday nights,” she responded. “Why?”

  “I was wondering if you’d like to have dinner with me Friday night.”

  Her eyes opened wide, surprise written across her face. “Well, I don’t know…,” Callie said.

  She looked at me, waiting for me to say something.

  I shrugged my shoulders. “Fine by me. You’re free to go out with whoever you want,” I said.

  Her face fell, and I instantly felt like an asshole. It was the first time I saw genuine hurt in her eyes. I’d basically offered her up to my brother and implied I didn’t give a shit.

  She smiled brightly. “Thanks. I’d love to, Abel.”

  Fuck.

  Chapter Eleven

/>   CALLIE—

  So, what does the brother look like?” Evelyn asked.

  I was in the kitchen, making Delilah’s lunch, after taking her to the pet store. A quick phone call to Evelyn was needed to fill her in on my impending date with Abel.

  “I dunno. He’s okay looking. Tall, dark hair, beard, and dimples.”

  “Oh yeah,” she snorted. “Totally sounds like he’s just okay.”

  I smeared some peanut butter on a slice of toasted whole wheat bread. “Well, you know what I mean.”

  “Yeah. He isn’t the one you’re interested in. I get it, but hell. Good looks run in that family, huh?”

  “I suppose,” I said.

  “So what’s the problem?”

  I drizzled some honey on another piece of bread before putting the two slices together. I was quiet because I assumed the problem was a given. It was like she said. I was going out with the brother of my boss—the brother who I wasn’t the least bit interested in of the boss who I was most definitely interested in.

  In my head, it sounded even more ridiculous than I’d considered.

  “Is it wrong of me?” I asked. “I feel like I’m using Abel.”

  “Oh please. Everyone uses everyone.”

  I sliced the sandwich in half and placed some banana slices on a plate. “That’s a good attitude,” I said sarcastically.

  “It’s true. I’m sorry if it’s not what you want to hear but it’s true. Abel is probably using you in some way. Maybe he wants to get back at his brother about something. Maybe he has some twisted fantasy about banging a nanny. Maybe they have some sibling rivalry. Who knows?”

  As she talked, I had arranged the banana slices into a happy face design. Here I was, talking about things I shouldn’t have been talking about, let alone even contemplate, while trying to secure my place for Nanny of the Year. If only banana slices and trying to keep my distance from Aaron were categories in the pageant.

  “Delilah,” I called. “Lunch.”

  “Talk to you later?” Evelyn asked.

  “Yeah,” I said. “I’ll need your advice on what to wear for the date night part of the competition.”

  * * *

  Mother Nature had opened her warm arms that afternoon, granting Chicago with one of the first warm days of spring. It made me antsy, and with all the other thoughts spinning around my head, I knew I needed to get out of the house. Delilah had asked me a few times if we could go ride the Ferris wheel at Navy Pier, and with the weather as it was, it seemed like the perfect idea after our trip to the pet store.

  We had a wonderful time at Navy Pier through the late afternoon and into the evening. Besides riding the Ferris wheel, we went to the Children’s Museum and had hot dogs and cotton candy.

  “I like your shoes, Callie,” Delilah said as we sat on a bench watching the Ferris wheel go round while we ate our cotton candy.

  “Thank you.” I looked down at my raggedy Toms and smiled.

  “I wish I had a pair like that,” she said with a mouth full of pink cotton candy.

  “You have lots of pretty shoes, Delilah. In fact, I think you have more shoes than I do.”

  “Yeah, but not like yours. I want ones like yours. Can I?”

  I looked at her with her big eyes and hair wild from the Ferris wheel. “You’ll have to ask Daddy, okay?”

  “He’ll say yes. I want pink, like yours.”

  “You know, they come in all different colors. You could get whatever color you wanted,” I explained.

  “No!” She stood up and stomped her feet. “I want them like you. JUST LIKE YOU!”

  “Okay, there is no need to yell. I told you that you’ll need to ask your Daddy and then we’ll see.”

  “He’ll say yes,” she said under her breath with her arms folded.

  “I hope so. For now, I think it’s time to go home.”

  She stomped her foot again, and before I could say anything, the tears started to fall. “But I don’t want to go yet,” she said through sniffles and tears.

  “Sorry, kiddo. Let’s go.”

  This only seemed to enrage her because she threw the rest of her cotton candy on the ground and proceeded to jump on it while screaming about new shoes.

  I was ill prepared for such an outburst because I’d never seen her have such a meltdown. After trying to reason, bribe, and threaten, I realized there was little you could do to calm a four-year-old having a tantrum.

  The best part of the evening, probably the entire day, was when Delilah got herself so worked up that she threw up all over herself and me right before we walked in the house.

  Once inside, I got both Delilah and myself cleaned up and threw our clothes in the wash. By that time, Delilah had calmed down and was tired and clingy. I put her to bed, but she begged me to stay with her, claiming that her stomach was still hurting her.

  Close to ten o’clock, I heard the front door open downstairs, signaling Aaron’s return home from work. I slowly began to get up to make my exit, but once again Delilah woke up and started crying.

  “Callie, please don’t go,” she whimpered.

  “I’m still here, but you need to go to sleep,” I whispered. “It’s so late and you have to be all rested if we want to go to the zoo tomorrow, right?”

  “But I don’t feel good,” she whined.

  “Hey, baby girl,” Aaron said from the doorway. “What’s wrong?”

  I stood and began picking up my things, making sure that I didn’t look him in the eye. “We went to Navy Pier, and she ate something that didn’t agree with her.”

  He walked in and sat on the edge of Delilah’s bed.

  “You okay?” he asked.

  “I threw up, Daddy.”

  “You did?”

  “Yeah and I got it on my shirt and Callie and in her hair.”

  Aaron looked at me. “You okay?” he asked.

  “I’m fine,” I said. I turned my attention to Delilah. “Feel better, sweetie. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  “No, Callie,” Delilah said, reaching her hand out to me. “Please stay with me.”

  Before I could respond, Aaron took over. “It’s all right. I’ll stay with you. Do you want to sleep in my bed?”

  “No, Daddy,” she pouted. “I want Callie.”

  I watched Aaron’s face fall into a frown, and a twinge of pain hit my heart. While I was sure he knew Delilah wasn’t showing preference to hurt his feelings, it did exactly that.

  I set my things down by the door and walked back to her. “Listen, I know you want me to stay with you, but I need to go sleep in my own bed. Plus, Daddy’s bed is nice and so big, right?” I leaned over and whispered in her ear. “He misses you when he’s gone.”

  She nodded and reached for Aaron’s hand. “Okay. Daddy, can I sleep with you?”

  He brushed his hand across her hair. “Of course.”

  “Good night, Delilah,” I said. “Sleep well.”

  I was out of her room and almost to mine when Aaron called for me. “Callie?” He stood in the hallway, a few steps from Delilah’s room.

  “Yes?”

  “Callie, I…” He trailed off as he struggled for what to say. I was tired and didn’t want to stay to watch him battle with his words or thoughts anymore today. Turning around, I took the last few steps to my room.

  “Good night, Aaron,” I said without looking back.

  Then I closed the door.

  * * *

  My head pounded from the lack of sleep I got. My morning shower did little to alleviate it, but I managed to pull myself together enough to make it downstairs before Delilah was awake.

  I smelled him, soap and his aftershave, before I even entered the kitchen. It was so sexy, a mixture of sandalwood and just…man.

  Him.

  I peeked in, and he was facing the sink, bringing a coffee cup to his mouth. In an attempt to further drive me crazy, he was wearing fitted navy-blue pants and a crisp, white collared shirt.

  “Morning,” I said,
walking into the kitchen.

  He glanced over his shoulder and gave me a curt nod. “Morning.”

  I moved next to him, opening up the cabinet to get my own coffee cup. “How’s she feeling?”

  “Better,” he said, taking a sip from his cup before setting it in the sink. “She slept good.”

  “Good.”

  “I gotta run, but I’ll be home in plenty of time for your”—he paused to roll his eyes—“date.”

  His eyes narrowed at me as he waited for me to respond. I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction.

  I smiled. “I appreciate it. Have a good day.”

  He shook his head and started to leave. “You, too. Let me know if she still isn’t feeling okay.”

  “Of course. Anything else?” I asked.

  My tone was as sweet as honey, but judging by his glare, he wasn’t tempted.

  He briskly walked out. “No,” he said, in a voice so quiet I almost didn’t hear it.

  Delilah and I decided to have a quiet day at home to make sure she was recuperated from the previous night. I started to get ready for my date after I gave Delilah dinner. She sat on the toilet next to me, watching me curl my hair into loose waves and apply makeup. It occurred to me that aside from her grandma, she may never have seen a woman do this before.

  At her begging, I brushed just the tiniest bit of blush onto her cheeks. She was so excited she kept checking herself out in the mirror, doing little twists and turns to look at herself at all different angles.

  When I heard Aaron get home, I sent Delilah down to greet him and give him the cookies I helped her make for him. I used the time she wasn’t around me to get dressed. The short black dress I put on had been sitting in my closet for over a year before it made its way to Aaron’s house. I almost gave it to Evelyn when I left, but I’m glad I didn’t.

  No bra was needed, or in this case could even be worn. It was much tighter than I’d normally wear, hugging every single inch of my body and in all the right places. The only thing holding the plunging neckline and low back up were two tiny, delicate straps. I added some heels, my highest pair of open-toed, black patent leather ones.