“Antonia, why do you always do that?” she asked, setting the laptop on the side of her and giving me her undivided attention.
“Do what?” I asked, confused.
“You always try to put on this tough exterior like nothing in life bothers you. You run away from the way you really feel, and it’s not good to keep those things bottled in all the time,” she said, and I nodded my head.
This wasn’t the first time that Tacarra and I have had this talk, and just like the first time, I didn’t really want to have this conversation. She knew that, so she decided to change the subject.
“Hey, let me flat iron your hair for you. I’m so tired of seeing you rock this raggedy ponytail,” she said in a joking way as she got out of her bed. I looked at her and shook my head no.
“Come on, it’s not like I’m going to do that foul shit to you that Porsha did,” she said.
In a way, I felt like she was trying to be hurtful. Like she took the experience that I had when I was ten years old as a joke or something. Only reason I had even told Tacarra about that situation was because one time she saw the scar on my back and had asked me how I got it and I told her. I regretted it now because I felt like she was taking it for a joke.
Seven years ago, it was Easter Sunday and I was ten years old. For some strange reason, my aunt wanted to go to church that particular day. She had woken everybody extra early so that we could all get ready for church. Ever since I was a little girl, I had this long, pretty, thick hair, and it was always curly. Since it was Easter Sunday, my aunt decided to have Porsha straighten my hair out for me.
“Hurry up and sit your ass down because I don’t even feel like doing this shit!” Porsha had barked at me. At this time, she was seventeen years old.
I sat down at the chair and allowed her to use the hot comb on my hair. Each time she would run the comb through my hair, my curly hair would get straight, leaving it to fall in the middle of my back. Until this day, I don’t know if she was jealous of my long hair or what, but all I remembered was her holding me down in the chair, putting the comb on my skin, and leaving it there. I screamed to the top of my lungs as the heat burned my skin. I was ten years old, so I didn’t have on a shirt, just a pair of underwear. Of course, when my aunt came to see what all the commotion was about, she lied and said that it was an accident because I kept moving around.
“Hush up with all of that damn crying in here,” my aunt said, and then she sat down on the couch and watched as Porsha straightened my hair for me.
My aunt never would admit it, but I knew for a fact that she knew that Porsha had burned me on purpose, which is why she stayed there on the couch for the remainder of the time that it took for me to get my hair straightened.
“That wasn’t funny, Tacarra,” I said after I snapped out of my daydream. I remembered that day verbatim and that reason alone was why I didn’t like for people to play in my hair because I couldn’t trust the situation.
“You’re right, and I’m sorry. Here, I’ll even let you face the mirror so that you can see what I’m doing,” she said.
I thought about it for a while and then I nodded my head, deciding that she could go ahead and do my hair for me. I stood up and turned the chair around so that I could be facing the mirror. As she did my hair, we talked about a little bit of everything and I kind of felt like I was getting my friend back. My hair hadn’t been straight since seven years ago, and boy had it grown since then. The shit was way past the middle of my back. After she finished with my hair, I looked in the mirror at myself, and it was the first time in a long time that I was able to say something positive about myself. I actually looked beautiful.
“There you go. One hundred percent better,” Tacarra said, after spraying some oil sheen in my hair.
For the rest of the day that I was over there, we watched movies and ate popcorn. Around 5 o’clock, I got up and went to the bathroom that was in Tacarra’s bedroom and when I went to pee, I noticed that my cycle had just came on. I opened up a drawer that she had in her bathroom and took the last pad that was in there. Fuck! I had no money, so how the hell was I going to go to the store and buy some? My aunt and Porsha kept all of their personal items in their rooms, and they had locked their doors before they left. After wiping myself and putting on the pad, I went over to the sink and washed my hands.
I walked out of the bathroom and Tacarra was standing in front of her closet, as if she were looking for something to wear, with the phone glued to her ear.
“Hey, I’m about to head home now,” I told her and she waved bye without even turning around to face me.
Her mother had left hours ago with Malik, and I was hoping that Tacarra would offer me a ride home, but she didn’t, so I just left. I didn’t know what it was, but Tacarra gave off vibes like she really didn’t like me.
I shrugged it off and made my way out of her house. The sun was going down, so it wasn’t as hot out. As I was walking, I remembered that there was a Walmart on the other corner. I was going to have to do what I had to do because there is no way in hell that I would go a whole seven days with this same pad on.
I made my way inside Walmart and tried to make myself look as normal as possible. All of the feminine products were on aisle twelve, so I casually walked there. I found the purple and black Stayfree ultra-thin pads that I liked to wear and quickly put it inside my shirt.
“I can tell you’re a rookie at this shit, lil mama. You should have worn a jacket or some shit to cover it up,” a voice said.
I turned around and it was him. Hazel eyes and dreads. He was just so fuckin’ sexy to me. Right now, he was dressed in a tank top and basketball shorts with a pair of Nike slides and socks on his feet. He was dressed relaxed, like maybe he was at home chilling and his girlfriend had sent him out to the store to run and get some feminine products for her as well. I was so embarrassed that I had just got caught stealing by this fine ass man. He probably thought that I was some ratchet chick who went around stealing from different stores. I pulled the pads out of my shirt and looked at him, visibly embarrassed.
“Put it in the cart, I’ll pay for it,” he said and I shook my head no.
I placed the pads back on the shelf and was about to run out of the store, but he grabbed my arm, stopping me. I looked down at the floor, hoping he would let me go because I was already embarrassed enough. We were the only two people in the aisle, and he used his other hand to lift my head up, forcing me to look him in his eyes.
“Put the shit in the cart, man. And get whatever else you need!” he demanded and I nodded my head.
He gently let my arm go and I picked up the bags and put them in the cart. I could smell his cologne. I didn’t know what type it was, but it smelled really good.
“I know you need more than that. It’s on me, whatever you want. Just put it in the cart and I’ll get it for you,” he told me with his grills shining as he talked.
I put two more packs of pads in the cart so that I wouldn’t have this problem again for a while. I also picked up a box of Ibuprofen because I knew for a fact that I would be cramping soon. Next, I got me a hot bottle of ginger ale, and that was pretty much all I needed.
“That’s all?” he asked me and I nodded my head.
I followed him around the store as he picked up things for himself, and when we finished, we made our way to a register to check out. When it was time for him to pay, I watched as he dug in his gym shorts and pulled out a wad of cash that was held together by a rubber hand. He handed the lady a hundred-dollar bill and I looked in amazement because I had never seen that much damn money in my life. I mean, yeah, I was a cashier at Chick-Fil-A, but damn, we didn’t keep that much damn money in the register.
After he paid, we walked out the store and I took out my one bag from the cart. “Thank you. When I get paid again, I will pay you back,” I said quickly and was about to run off.
It was something about being in his presence that scared me. I could tell that he was a man with power, and it kind of ma
de me feel low because I knew I didn’t have the same status that he has.
“Why you be so fuckin’ quick to run off? I ain’t going to hurt you or no shit like that. Relax for a minute, damn,” he said, aggravated and I nodded my head.
I followed him as he pushed the shopping cart to the car. He pulled a set of keys out of his pockets and I looked around for the car that would be his. We stood in front of a beautiful burgundy, BMW X5. I looked at the car in amazement and when I looked over at him, he had this look on his face like, ‘What the hell is this girl’s problem?’ Excuse me, if I wasn’t used to seeing nice things.
“How you get over here?” he asked, popping the trunk to his car and then he started to put the bags inside.
“I walked here,” I told him.
He nodded his head as I looked on.
“Get in the car, I’ll take you back home,” he said.
I was hesitant because I didn’t know this man and I couldn’t trust getting in the car with him. It’s no telling what the hell he would do to me. Yes, he was fine as hell, but it just wasn’t worth it.
“It’s fine, I’ll just walk back,” I said, and was about to walk around him when he grabbed my arm again.
I whimpered because I was scared. Whenever my aunt would grab onto me like this, it would end with her slapping the shit out of me. He must have caught on to my fear because he let go of my arm.
“I’m not going to hurt your little ass, man! Just get in the car and I’ll take you home. It’s late, and you don’t need to be walking these streets by yourself,” he said.
I nodded my head and got in the passenger seat of his car. I quickly put on my seatbelt and he came around and got in the driver’s seat. He backed out of the parking space and then drove out of the parking lot fast as hell. I looked over at him with fear in my eyes. He looked down at me and noticed my uneasiness and slowed down the car some. I noticed that he hadn’t asked me the directions to my house yet. Then I remembered that he probably remembered where I stayed from the other night.
“You hungry?” he asked me, driving with one hand on the steering wheel and turning to look down at me.
‘No,” I quickly said, and my stomach growled, telling the truth for me. He chuckled and then switched lanes fast as hell and made a right.
“So, not only do your little ass steal, but you lie too. I’m going to have to be careful with you,” he said.
I stared out of the window as he drove, paying the comment that he had just made no mind. I was far from a liar or a thief, but desperate times called for desperate measures.
“What you want to eat?” he asked me.
Since the first time I had met him, I would go to sleep praying to be close to him again, and now that it was happening, I was acting like a scary ass little girl. Plus, not to mention that he had a girlfriend, so it wasn’t the same anymore. I wondered would his girlfriend be okay with him paying for my things and then me riding in the car with him.
“You can just take me to McDonalds,” I said, pointing to the McDonalds that I saw on the right of us. He just kept on going, ignoring my request.
I sat back in the seat and just hushed my mouth because clearly he wasn’t paying attention of anythings that I was said.
Chapter 4: Jahiem
It was something about her, man. Something about those eyes that told a damn story. She was so damn beautiful to me, and it sucked because she didn’t even know that shit. I knew for a fact that she didn’t think highly of herself because she couldn’t even look a nigga in the face when I’m talking to her. I wasn’t even judging her when I found her in the store stealing pads because she was doing what she had to do. Wasn’t like she was in there trying to steal some dumb shit. I just knew that her lil ass was going to cry from embarrassment when I caught her red handed, but clearly she had proven me wrong.
She kept trying to run from a nigga, but all I was doing was trying to help her ass out. I can tell that it killed her for me to have to pay for her shit for her, but it didn’t matter to me. I felt good about that at the end of the day, knowing that I had helped her. I was a man, and a man noticed everything, especially when it came down to someone you found to be very attractive. I noticed that her hair wasn’t curly today, like how it was the last two times I had seen her. This time, her hair was straight, almost giving off this look like she was mixed with something. I knew her ass wasn’t fully black because she had good ass hair like she was mixed with Indian or some shit.
I looked over at her as she looked out the window and I knew she was scared. Number one, she was in the car with a complete stranger, plus I didn’t make that right to the McDonalds like she had told me to, so she had no damn clue where we were going. I chuckled because while she thought that I was trying to hurt her, I was actually going to do everything in my power to protect her, even though we had just met.
“Antonia,” I said, and she looked at me shocked. Like how the hell did I know her damn name.
“How did you know my name?” she asked with a confused look on her beautiful face.
“You said it when I saw you at work the other day,” I told her.
“Yeah, with your girlfriend,” she mumbled and I laughed at her jealousy.
“That wasn’t my girlfriend. That was my older sister, Shaniqua,” I told her and she nodded her head, like, ‘yeah right, nigga.’
Chuckling, I turned the radio up, driving the rest of the way in silence. I figured that I would take her to a restaurant and we could both eat something together. I wanted to stop by my crib first and drop these groceries off, but I didn’t know shorty like that to be bringing her by my crib, plus I didn’t want her to think that I was trying to be sneaky by bringing her over to my house. Since I was dressed laid back tonight, I wasn’t going to take us anywhere fancy. In fact, ten minutes later, I pulled up at Red Lobster. I parked the car and both of us got out. She had this thing where she liked to walk behind me, but as a man, if I was with a woman, I needed them in front of me at all times. I held the door open for her and she walked in, but stopped once I came in the door after her. I shook my head and we both went inside the restaurant.
“Welcome to Red Lobster, will it just be the two of you tonight?” the hostess asked us as she stood behind the counter.
I nodded my head and she grabbed two menus and led the way. She walked us to the back of the restaurant, all the while I could feel all eyes on us. Pretty much everybody knew who the hell I was. From my shop or maybe because I had slept with some of the females that were looking at us. I had nothing to hide because at the end of the day, I wasn’t in a relationship with nobody, and I was just kicking it right now with Antonia. We both took a seat at the booth and the hostess set our menus in front of us and then she left.
“What you normally get when you come here?” I asked Antonia. I was used to being with bitches who would talk my ear off whenever they got in my presence and I showed them a little bit of my attention, but damn lil mama didn’t talk enough. I wasn’t used to being the one to initiate the conversation.
“I never been here before,” she quickly said and then opened her menu.
I found that to be a little comical because who the hell has never been to Red Lobster before? There used to be a time when this was considered to be a “classy” restaurant, now everybody and their damn mama came here.
“We need to get you out more. Your parents not going to be blowing you up, asking you where you at? Why don’t you text them and tell them you out to dinner with your friend or something so they won’t be worried,” I suggested.
I wasn’t used to hanging with younger females, but I knew they most likely had bedtimes and shit, and I wasn’t trying to get lil mama in trouble or nothing like that.
“It’s fine. I don’t live with my parents,” she said in a way that was so final, like she didn’t want me to know or something.
I nodded my head and decided to leave that part of the conversation alone, at least for now.
“You see
anything you might like?” I asked her, trying to change the subject. I already knew what I was getting, so there was no need for me to look at the menu. I had been getting the same thing for the last three years.
“Yeah, I see something,” she said and then looked up from the menu. She looked at me, with those big brown eyes, almost as if she were trying to read me or something. “How old are you?” she asked.
“I’m twenty-three, how old are you?” I replied.
“Seventeen,” she said.
I nodded my head and then the waitress came over.
“Hey, Jah, how are you today?” Tynesha, our waitress said when she came over to the table.
Oh yeah, I was fuckin’ her too, but Antonia didn’t need to know that. I just prayed that Tynesha kept that shit professional though. Red Lobster was one of my lil hangout spots, so that’s how we met. We had been fuckin’ for about three months or so, nothing serious.
“I’m good, how are you?” I asked her.
“I’m good. I remember you telling me that you had an older sister, but I don’t remember you saying anything about a younger one,” Tynesha said, throwing hell of shade at Antonia.
I knew she was feeling some type of way about me having dinner with another female, but Tynesha and I were just fuck buddies, nothing more, nothing less.
“Chill with that, that’s my friend,” I told her, shooting her a look, letting her know not to fuck with me. She got the hint and then left the situation alone.
‘Okay, well can I get the two of you something to drink?” she asked us.
“Let me get a Coke. Antonia, what you want to drink?” I asked her.
“Umm, I’ll take a Sprite,” she said in a soft voice.
“Are you ready to order, or do you still need a few more minutes?” Tynesha asked.
I looked at Antonia, pretty much asking her with my eyes if she was ready or not, and she nodded her head yes.
“I’m going to have the ultimate feast, with a Caesar salad” I said, closing the menu.
“And for you?” Tynesha asked Antonia, with an annoyed look on her face.
Little Miami Girl: Antonia and Jahiem's Love Story Page 3
