House of Ivy & Sorrow

by kindle@abovethetreeline. com

  “How I felt about you—how I still feel—was never a lie.” Winn’s eyes, stormier than ever, meet mine. “But I was selfish to want you, and stupid to hope that you wouldn’t figure it out.”

  I hug myself, wishing I didn’t feel exactly the same way. “Just go. Levi and I have a job to do, and you better not interfere.”

  “Fine.” His face hardens, and I know this is the end of us. I don’t want it to be over. I want to erase all my memories and stay in blissful ignorance. So I can be with Winn, laughing and kissing and falling in love. As I watch him leave, black rain begins to fall, coating the earth in darkness.

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  HarperCollins Publishers

  ..................................................................

  FORTY-THREE

  The cement is cold and wet against my face, but I don’t care. I lie there in a ball, holding Winn’s flowers, now marred with oily droplets. I’m pretty sure normal people can’t see the black, but that’s all I can see. Endless darkness. Death. Evil. It’s all around me, and it will never leave. It’s driven away and killed everything I love.

  I hate magic. I hate being a witch.

  Levi’s shadow hangs over me, though he doesn’t say anything. His shoes scrape against the path as he kneels down next to me. When he puts his hand on my shoulder, its warmth proves how cold I am.

  I don’t have the strength to push him away.

  “Don’t be sad. I swear I’ll protect you, because that’s what my mom begged me to do.”

  I turn to him. “What?”

  He won’t look back, as if the shame of his words is too much to bear. “You’re going to get sick, lying here in the rain.” His arms come around me, and he picks me up off the ground. He carries me to an old, shaggy willow tree where the rain can’t break through. As he sits at its roots, he doesn’t bother to put me down. “Better?”

  I’m so tired. Of fighting. Of this life. I lean my head on his shoulder. “Finish your story.”

  He gulps. “This is my fault. I waited years to earn magic, years to see what my mother had left in her history, and you and your mom were in it more than I was. She knew my dad was sucking her dry so he could break the protective barriers she put around Carmina. She knew Carmina would only leave your dad if she was pregnant. She wanted more than anything to protect you both, but by then she was too weak to break free from my grandmother’s house.

  “The last pages of her history are all letters to me, telling me to protect you, the innocent, from him. She said we owed you because of Carmina’s unwavering friendship. And . . .”

  He leans his head on the tree, squeezing his eyes shut so tightly they wrinkle like raisins. “I didn’t listen. I was so mad at her, that she sacrificed her life for you and then asked me to do the same. She should have been there for me—she was my mother—so I ignored everything she said and tried to live my life.”

  I bite my lip, the weight of his pain familiar. “What changed?”

  He sighs, and it’s heavy with guilt. “When he Cursed your grandmother. He was so pleased with himself, laughing at the kitchen table about how it would break you into a million pieces. I couldn’t help but think of my mom, wonder if he enjoyed putting me through that pain. It was then, finally, that I realized it wasn’t your fault my mother wasn’t there for me. It was his. It was always his.

  “But by then it was already too late to protect you like I should have. I messed everything up.” He puts his hand on my cheek, and I look into his eyes, filled with regret. “I’m sorry this is all I can offer you now. I’ve made too many mistakes to count, but I swear I will make it up to you for the rest of our lives.”

  My voice catches, so many what-ifs running through my brain I don’t know what to say. What if he had come earlier? Warned us? Told us what we were up against? We could have prepared. We could have been ready to fight. What if I had met him years ago, not as an enemy but as a friend? What if . . . I had fallen in love with him?

  “Tell me about your steward,” I say.

  He looks surprised. “What?”

  “You have a steward, right? A girl you take magic from?”

  “Yes.” He looks away. “Of course I do.”

  “I was just wondering . . . I mean, Stacia and Jeff had you, and you had to kiss me to take my magic. Is she your girlfriend?” The idea makes me squirm. He shouldn’t be holding me like this if she is, and I really, really don’t like the idea of sharing. I’m not a good sharer.

  “She’s ten years older than me,” he says. “Her name is Abigail. Some of the Blacks encourage a relationship, the ones who like these power games. But the more prudent part of the family overruled the Consumed ones and deemed me ‘too dangerous to reproduce,’ thanks to my father.”

  “I see.” My heart pounds at the thought that even the Blacks consider Levi dangerous.

  “Abby is nice, I guess.” He shrugs, and his cheeks go slightly pink. “She’s kind of like a big sister, and she’s proud of how I turned out, all things considered. I don’t see her often these days.”

  I nod. Everything seems surreal all of a sudden. Levi isn’t so bad—he was just dealt a crappy lot in life. He really is trying to make the best of his situation, and I can respect that.

  “I know this will totally kill the moment.” He takes my hand, his hold gentle and yet strong. “But we don’t have a lot of time.”

  I jump. “Oh, right.”

  “So?” His eyes plead with me, full of hope and longing. “Will you help me stop him? Will give me your magic?”

  Fear washes over me anew. My magic curls up inside, as if to say it’s perfectly happy where it is. Deep down I don’t want to give it away again. I don’t want to feel empty and ashamed and powerless. But what choice do I have? I’m out of options and out of time. Levi wouldn’t do it if there were another way. He’s only trying to make amends for his past, too. We both have a stake in this, and who am I to refuse him his part? Maybe I’m being selfish, wanting to keep it to myself.

  I close my eyes and take a deep breath.

  Just say it. Say it, and everything will be fixed.

  But my mouth won’t work! Why can’t I say it?

  Someone clears their throat behind me. I tumble out of Levi’s lap as I attempt to see who it is. My brain feels like it’s melting under Kat’s and Gwen’s furious glares. Gwen puts her hands on her hips, and I shrink a little more. “This is pretty much the stupidest thing you’ve ever done, Jo.”

  UNCORRECTED E-PROOF—NOT FOR SALE

  HarperCollins Publishers

  ..................................................................

  FORTY-FOUR

  “We’re taking you home. Right. Now,” Kat says in a flawless imitation of Nana.

  “Damn right we are.” Gwen grabs my arm, pulling me up with surprising strength. “What the hell are you thinking? You grandmother is dying, and you’re out here with him?”

  I resist her hold, but she won’t release me. “I can’t go. This . . . this is the only way to stop him. I won’t let her die, so let go of me.”

  Kat eyes Levi. “What do you mean, this is the only way?”

  I can’t say it out loud. They’ll be beyond angry I didn’t tell them, and I don’t need any more people mad at me right now. All I’m trying to do is make things better. I don’t care about anything else.

  Levi stands. “She can’t get rid of my dad on her own, and neither can I. We need each other to do it, so get out of the way.”

  Their eyes go wide. Then Kat shakes her head, her little frame filling up with a confidence I’ve never seen before. “No. You are not doing that to her again! There has to be another way.”

  “There isn’t!” I cry. “Would I be doing this if there were?”

  “Then you’re not thinking hard enough!” Gwen turns me to face her, her deep blue eyes fierce. “Take a second and really think, Jo. Past today or tomorrow. Past the pain and fear. Can’t you see this is a trap?
”

  I shake my head. “No!”

  This will work. I have to believe that. If I don’t, that means there’s nothing I can do but watch Nana die and wait for my own painful death.

  I tear myself from Gwen’s hold, going back to Levi. He puts his arm around me protectively. “It’s not a trap,” he says. “I want him dead as much as anyone.”

  Kat looks like she’s about to rip his heart out, but she takes a deep breath and tries to calm herself. “Jo, please, don’t do this. I might not know a lot about magic, but watching you go through all this has taught me one thing: nothing good can come from giving a guy magic. You know that’s true. I know you do.”

  A lump forms in my throat. I try to tell myself she’s wrong, but all I can think of is the story about how the Shadows came to be. The woman gave away her magic for love, and that one decision is still killing witches today.

  “You don’t even know him,” Gwen says, her voice sad. “You shouldn’t be relying on a stranger; you should be relying on your friends, on the people who love you.”

  Levi spins me around to face him. “Don’t listen to them. They don’t have a clue what they’re talking about—they don’t even have magic.”

  The anger in his voice makes the hair on my neck stand. I look back at them, their fear obvious. They are my friends, my best friends. I’ve spent most of my life with them, and I don’t like seeing them this scared. “They may not have magic . . . but they do know me.”

  Kat takes a few daring steps closer. “If there isn’t a way, we’ll make a way, okay? You can do anything. I truly believe that.”

  “You don’t need him,” Gwen says. “You don’t have to make this sacrifice.”

  “Shut up!” Levi’s arm tightens around me. “We don’t have time for this shit! Have you not seen the sky? He is at her doorstep, and you want her to throw away her only chance at survival? You guys are the evil people here.”

  “Your way isn’t survival—it’s a slower death!” Gwen screams.

  I tense, her words washing over me like freezing cold water. What am I doing? I don’t want this—I know I don’t want this, and yet here I am ready to do it anyway. I’m crazy. No, just desperate. And afraid.

  Neither of which is a good reason to be Cursed.

  I push him away, my heart pounding a thousand times a minute. “I can’t do this. I couldn’t even say the words.”

  “Josephine,” Levi says through his teeth. “Don’t be stupid.”

  I look him in the eye. I’m not angry—this is all he knows; of course there’s no other way to him—but my brain is finally working, and so is my gut. “I’m not being stupid. I . . . I think I have an idea, thanks to my friends.”

  “It won’t work.”

  I hold my head up high. “Won’t know until I try, and if you can’t trust me then maybe they’re right about you. If everything you said was true, you’ll let me go, Levi.”

  His eyes go wild, to the point where I’m waiting for a shadowy Curse to spew out of him. It scares me, the fury he holds inside. His deepest, darkest desires ooze out of him, the shadows around him intensifying. He tries to be good, but there is a part of him that wants to take me and be done with it, that wants to consume every bit of me as his own.

  He falls back on the tree, his head cradled in his hands. The shadows dim. “You are such a pain in the ass.”

  I glare at him, angry that he would have taken me despite knowing all the evil he keeps inside. I feel like such a fool for even considering the risk. “The feeling’s mutual.”

  “It’s not my fault if you die,” he says.

  “Nope. But if I die, at least I know I had control to the end. I am free, unlike you.”

  As he curls up on the ground, it’s as if I can see the shackles that bind him. He’s a prisoner to magic. “Leave. Before I change my mind.”

  I rush home with Gwen and Kat by my side. Once I reach the porch, I stop to catch my breath, and they hug me. I let out a sigh of relief, somehow at peace though I’ve made this a thousand times harder on myself. But I won’t let anything control me, not magic or fear or even a beautiful boy.

  “What’s the plan?” Gwen asks, our faces still close.

  I gulp, not even sure I can do it. But I have to try. “Are you really willing to do anything for me?”

  “Of course,” Kat says.

  Gwen rolls her eyes. “Duh.”

  “Okay. To the apothecary, then.”

  UNCORRECTED E-PROOF—NOT FOR SALE

  HarperCollins Publishers

  ..................................................................

  FORTY-FIVE

  The Crafts come in as I heft the biggest cauldron we have onto the table. “How’s the Willow’s End barrier?” I ask, searching for the tools I need. Pliers. Knife. Scissors. Lots of cloth bandages. This spell has to work; otherwise the rest of my plan won’t.

  No pressure.

  Maggie cringes. “It’s not looking good.”

  “We did the best we could,” Tess says. “Hopefully it will buy us time.”

  Prudence raises an eyebrow at the materials I’ve gathered. “And what are you up to? This doesn’t look like any spell I know.”

  “Because it isn’t.” I pull out the chameleon scales. Definitely need something to denote transformation. While I’m at it, I grab a jar of cocoons. “I’m making it up as I go, and no, I don’t need to hear how crazy I am. I’m well aware.”

  Pru holds up her hands. “As long as you know.”

  “Okay . . .” I survey what I have, knowing it’s not enough. “Mags, grab me a mother-bear heart and a cub stomach from the cellar. Tessa, I need a lock of Nana’s hair. And Pru, I need the Hemlock braid from the door to the histories.”

  As I wait for them to return, I pace and pace, focusing on what I want my magic to do. I am in control. It will listen to me.

  “Jo?” Kat startles me out of my trance.

  “Huh?”

  “You still haven’t told us what you’re doing.”

  Gwen looks at my supplies. “It looks scary.”

  I take a deep breath. “It is, but we need more power. We need to intensify the next spell as much as we can, and we do that by channeling a spell together. With many witches.”

  Kat raises an eyebrow. “Wait. Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

  I nod. “I’m going to make you and Gwen Hemlocks.”

  “As in . . . witches?” Gwen says. “Can you do that?”

  “I don’t actually know. You both got me thinking about it back there with Levi. Giving magic to guys definitely isn’t good, but what about giving it to other girls? Girls I love as much as my own family, no less. I can rely on you. I always have.” I bite my lip, suddenly worried this is too much for them. “Like you said, I should turn to the people who care about me, not a complete stranger. So, what do you think?”

  They exchange glances, and both their mouths slowly stretch into smiles.

  “You’re serious?” Kat asks.

  I nod.

  Gwen laughs. “Nah, no magic for me. Who’d want that?”

  “What are we giving? A toe? A finger?” Kat eyes the tools. “A tooth?”

  I shake my head. “Nothing so serious. This is mostly me. We’re already bound together—you’ve done your—” My eyes go wide when my dad comes through the door carrying Nana. “What are you doing? You need to rest!”

  “She insisted.” Tessa comes in behind them. “I thought it might be a good idea to have her close, considering you’re about to make up a spell.”

  I purse my lips, forcing myself not to feel childish. “True.”

  “The chair will do, Joseph. Set me there,” Nana whispers.

  He shakes his head and sits in her chair, the one she once commanded this house from. The one that will be left empty forever if I fail. “I think I’ll hold on to you. Carmina would want that.”

  She pats his chest. “You dear boy. I should have liked to have met you sooner.”
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  “Here you go.” Maggie thunks the animal parts on the table as Prudence comes down with the family braid, glittery with beads and gems.

  “Thank you.” I take a deep breath as I venture a peek outside. The black-and-purple clouds hang so low it’s as if they’re creeping under the freeway. I can feel their weight, like particles of iron.

  We don’t have much time.

  “Pru, Maggie, Tessa, I have no idea how long this will take, but make as many protection charms as you can before I’m done. Use whatever you must—it doesn’t matter how rare the reagent at this point.”

  They nod, heading for the ceiling-high cabinets, full to the brim with powerful potential.

  I grab a bundle of oak twigs, their age suggesting permanence and history. After setting them in the cauldron, I sprinkle willow leaves over them for place. This place. Which has become as much a part of us as we’ve become part of it. I pluck a pair of black swallowtail butterfly wings from a case and put them in the center of my little nest.

  Black, fragile wings—for the freedom and beautiful darkness magic is.

  “Here goes nothing,” I whisper as I put my hand over the cauldron. I close my eyes and let the magic surge through me. It sings my name, calling for me to get lost in it, but I call back.

  Not this time. You are mine to wield.

  The reagents spark with fire, the flames blue and red as everything melts into the beginnings of my potion. The transformation reagents come first. Then I unwrap the mother-bear heart, its love and protectiveness radiating from the frozen tissue already. The potion absorbs the heart the second I place it in the iridescent blue liquid. The bear-cub stomach comes next, its need and trust adding to the mix.

  I grab a bundle of dried hemlock to seal this phase of the potion, but then I hesitate. I’m missing something . . . something else in the mix for family.

  It’s not loyalty—that should be taken care of because of the binding.

  “What’s wrong, Josephine?” Nana asks.