“Mother said you were not welcome in her home, and I informed her that neither was I. Dad just sat there as I was banned from our home, it was awful. It took everything in me to make it from Atlanta to your door.”
Paige quickly rose from her seat and went to Kevin; he pushed his chair back allowing her room to sit. She straddled his lap, looking into his eyes and searching his soul. He held her gaze allowing her to search, as he was wide open for her to understand how much she meant to him.
“Kev, are you sure you want to do this…be estranged from your parents?” “Paige, I. Am. Not. Losing. You. I Won’t. Give. You. Up.” Kevin grabbed
the sides of her face and kissed her. The kiss was full of emotion—the unspoken hurt of severing ties with his mother, the deep connection he felt with Paige. It
seemed to go on for forever. Kevin was first to break the contact lifting her off his lap. Paige looked down at him confused.
“What…why did you stop?”
“Paige, I didn’t choose you just for sex, I…What about your therapy and
spiritual process?”
Irritated and feeling rejected she snapped back. “What about it?” She went back to her seat, picked up her purified water, and drank with eyebrows raised over her glass.
Kevin chose to ignore the sarcastic look Paige gave him. “How did your session go yesterday?”
“Fine.”
“Come on babe, don’t be like that. I’ve attended the single’s ministry class
and know we were wrong for making love last night. I don’t want to be a
‘stumbling block’ for you on your spiritual journey.”
“Oh I see, the morning after you sex me all night. Are you ready for me to be holy now?” Paige was insulted by his comment regarding her spiritual life. It was a fine time for him to think about it after he released in her too many times to count throughout the night.
“Paige, you are taking it all wrong. I’m new with this Christian walk. Yesterday I felt empty and needed you. Maybe we should have prayed or fasted, but I wanted— needed your comfort. I always want you but I know that can’t continue to happen and we stay on this journey. Nor do I want you to have a setback and feel remorse for making love to me, ever!”
“Kevin, I’m not Karen. I will not be having an emotional breakdown because we screwed. To answer your question about therapy, it went better than fine. I was able to release a lot that has been pinned up in my heart since I was a little girl. Dr. Whitney is great, she can get me to open up and see myself. I mean
really see myself and why I do the things, I do. She also reiterates that being a Christian is a process. I’m not going to always get it right, and neither are you. But that doesn’t mean I don’t love the Lord and that I’m off the path to recovery. The Lord knows my heart and loves me just the same. Dr. Whitney said we are dealing with my internal issues before we get to all the do’s and don’ts of being saved.” Paige’s features and voice softened. “But, thank you for putting the brakes on before. I admit I was feeling rejected and lashed out. I should not have done that
but you are right. Although, I have not committed to celibacy it isn’t the answer to every emotional episode we have.”
“Wow sweetie, I don’t know what to say. You sound so….so…therapeutic. I’m proud of you and I’m on this journey with you. Okay?”
Paige gave him that dazzling smile he loved. “Okay, let’s finish this
delicious Momma Gladys’s breakfast. She wants me to call her and tell her how we
enjoyed it”
As Kevin dug back into his plate, he felt like Adele. “If this ain’t love, then what is”? He was willing to take the risk.
Chapter 4
Fragile Hearts
Benjamin’s
Benjamin was in his home gym on the treadmill doing an afternoon run. His pace was fast at 10.0 and he was pushing the incline button to raise the resistance
to level five. The sweat pouring from his skin was hot and salty; it fell from his body onto the treadmill’s belt like a puddle of rain. Nonetheless, the endorphins circulating through his system were exhilarating. He was running up a steep incline to release the pressure of his morning.
His vice president had called and delivered solemn news that he had the responsibility of laying off five members of his team. That wasn’t going to be easy, everyone on his team had a family to support. Why the lay-offs? The company was profitable. Ben had received a six-digit bonus last month for the growth of his territory in sales. If given the choice, he would gladly give it back for everyone on his team to remain employed. However, he was not the final decision maker, and
he must end the career of five of his team members. To release his fury, he was running as fast as he could up a tough hill. This was how he dealt with the disappointment he felt in his role in cutthroat corporate America.
He ran as fast as he could on an incline level that was causing his calf muscles to protest. They burned, but he ran. His shins were screaming for mercy, but he ran until there was ringing in his ears. The need to release anxiety and frustration would not allow him to slow. He ran until the ringing became louder and louder. Suddenly he realized it was the actual doorbell.
Who would come to his home in the late afternoon without calling? It wasn’t
Camille. She had an entry code to his alarm system programed in her mobile
device and she would not ring the doorbell, she would just walk in calling his name. He smiled at the thought of her voice as he reluctantly pressed down on his incline button and came to a slow walk. He grudgingly got off his stress reliever. Grabbing a towel and bottle of water, he made his way to the front door.
Looking out the window, he saw Mrs. Carol pacing in circles on his porch. Very odd, he thought; as he opened the door for her to enter and leaned down to kiss her on both cheeks. He greeted her and asked her to excuse his workout odor.
He led her into his family room motioning the direction with his hands. Ben gently placed his hand on the center of her back, guiding her until she was seated on his couch.
“Would you like something to drink?”
“No Benny, I just wanted to come and talk to you, to see you.” “Sure Mrs. Carol, I’m always here for you. What’s on your mind?”
“It’s more like what’s on my heart. I don’t know if Camille told you I called her to say I’m sorry. But I did,”
“Yes she told me, I was pleased to hear that you reached out to her. I would love nothing more than for you to accept and get to know her.”
“Well, I told her she wouldn’t be having anymore troubles with me. I can’t begin to say how sorry I am for attacking you. I just haven’t been myself. Never in my right mind would I hurt you Benny. You have got to believe me.”
“I know that, no need to apologize. It’s over let’s move on from that.” “Thank you Benny, you have always been a good boy, now you are a
wonderful man.” Mrs. Carol had a look of bewilderment on her face that caused Benjamin to lean in to her for a closer view. She had wrinkles on her forehead and a scowl that came out of nowhere.
“Is everything ok?” There was a long pause before Mrs. Carol could speak.
“Do you remember, Lauren? Do you think of her at all? I feel like I’m the only one that feels her absence every day of my life. It causes this ache in the pit of my stomach and my lungs feel as though there is never enough air to breathe. The therapist calls it anxiety and wants me on medicine for it. But it’s the fact that I
feel her presence every day, but it’s her absence that threatens my next breath.”
Tears were flowing down her face as she continued. Benjamin grabbed both her hands in his and gave her his undivided attention. “My husband h…her father never wants to talk about her. I just miss her so much Benny.”
Benjamin moved on the couch near her, forgetting all about his sweaty body. His heart tore for the grief she openly wore. He hugged her and allowed her to rest her head on his
chest as he stroked her salt and pepper hair while she cried tears
like a river. He spoke gently to this childless mother.
“I remember. I remember our first laughs in junior chorus at church. I remember when I was crushing on her, and how I thought she was the most beautiful girl in the world.” Ben chuckled as he continued to stroke her hair. “I remember Tabitha told me she was coming over one Saturday. I brushed my teeth and hair for two hours, trying to look good for Ms. Lauren. I remember exactly when I knew I was in love with her and we confessed our love to each other. Lauren was beautiful on the inside and out. She had a grace and elegance about her that no one could measure up to. I will always remember her; I will never forget. She was a selfless person that gave her time to charities, always helping her friends
and family. I know she loved me with all her soul. I regret I didn’t love her the way she deserved, or let her go so she could fulfill the role of being a mother and a
wife, but she chose who she wanted to love and I’m honored it was me. I know Lauren loved you, Mr. Steele, and me with everything in her. I also know she wants us to live life to the fullest. She wants you Mrs. Carol to look up and live.”
Benjamin raised Mrs. Carol’s body up so they were eye to eye. “You do know she wouldn’t want you to mourn over her this way, right? She wants you to be happy.” Mrs. Carol nodded her head emphatically, silently saying yes.
“I know Benny, and I plan on being happy and free from this grief soon.” “That’s great. I am proud you are in counseling, continue your therapy and
do as Dr. Whitney instructs. We are all here to help you through it. How about I
take you to an early dinner?” “I would love that.”
Benjamin got Mrs. Carol something to drink and excused himself to shower. When he was dressed, he took her to her favorite chain cafeteria for dinner. They talked for hours about Lauren, Liberty Fellowship, Camille, and his plans for the future. When Mrs. Carol was leaving his home, Benjamin was hopeful that she was on the path to complete healing. Lauren would want that.
***
Earlier I.T.S
“Karen there is no easy way for me to say this, so here it goes, straight with no chaser. A few days before your wedding, my dad asked who your mother was. I told him all that I knew from what you shared with me over the years. He also
went through a brief history lesson on how he met Cynthia and shared some intimate moments with her. To make a long story short the lesson ended with us possibly being sisters.”
Karen jumped from her seat, furious. Camille could not determine the emotions behind her movement so she stilled in her seat and waited.
“Camille, are you crazy? Do you think that is something you can just spring
on me? Hey, Karen my dad said we may be sisters.”
“I told you it wasn’t easy, but look we are closer than any sisters I know, and the possibility it could be by blood now is just icing on the cake. The fact Nikki could be my niece for real fills me with pride and joy. You tell me this isn’t good news.”
“I can’t tell you that.” Karen was now directly in Camille’s space. She reached out and pulled her into their first sisterly hug. “It’s better than great, it’s freaking awesome. I love you like family already.”
“Camille? Camille, are you in there?”
Camille was jerked out of her daydream by Debra buzzing in on her phone’s intercom.” Yes, Debra.”
“Legal is on line one.”
“Thanks, I will take the call, and tell Karen to come straight to my office
when she arrives” “Yes ma’am.
***
It was an hour before Camille was off the conference call with her legal team and the team representing the retailer. They had finally finished their negotiations and signed the contract. She did not mind the length of the call because it concluded with another lucrative account for I.T.S., a multi- year partnership with a nationwide retailer. Camille was elated and proud of her team for pulling together to make it happen. In addition, she owed Benjamin big time
for the referral. Camille spun around in her office chair, bending her knees so they wouldn’t hit the desk. She reminded herself of Nikki when she would come to the office with Tee-Tee. It was only when she turned completely around did she see Karen already sitting with a look of trepidation on her face. Did she know?
Camille quickly pushed that thought out of her mind. There was no way she knew.
She leaped from her chair and rushed to Karen’s side.
“Karen what is it? Is it Nikki? Is she okay?” Tears immediately started to flow from Karen’s eyes and she just shook her head no, then yes.
Camille was now in a panic “No! Yes! What is it, sweetie, did you find out
what caused her episode last night?” Karen lifted her head slowly and began to speak.
“Yes, she has quite a few things food wise and environmental factors she’s allergic to. We’ll have to monitor her closely and keep an Epi-Pen for her at all times. I picked up one for when she is with you.” Camille feeling a little relieved took the allergy list and prescription package Karen pulled from her purse. She glanced over Nikki’s restrictions. She was shocked that someone could be allergic to a Redwood Tree, Bermuda grass, but good grief weeds were also on the list. Who knew how to identify weeds? No more trips to the park, and with the length of the tree list, she was thinking about getting rid of her fichus trees in her house that were plastic. The food restrictions, berries, citrus, nuts, and shellfish, was something she wouldn’t have a hard time monitoring when she had Nikki. She glanced at Karen again and knew something else was bothering her. “What is wrong with you, talk to me.”
“I don’t know if I can do this marriage thing with Frankie.” “What? Why not? It’s only been a few weeks.”
“Yeah, but in those “few weeks” I have had enough of Shayla Jones for a lifetime.”
“Are you serious? Why haven’t you said anything, what’s been happening?” “I’ve been trying to deal because we have just been married for a short
time.” Karen took a deep swallow to collect her thoughts on where to begin. “It
started on our honeymoon, Shayla called him constantly. First, it was about the
girls wanting to move from Atlanta back home to go to school. Then it was about how they were going to move all their things. Next, it was her momma being sick and in the hospital, he had to comfort her via the phone on our honeymoon, no less. Then this morning while at the doctor with Nikki, she was calling about bank accounts. Oh wait, I didn’t mention that, while I was organizing his office with my things I found some of his bank account records. Guess whose name was still on
all of them?” Camille didn’t think she was supposed to answer that, but apparently was by the look on Karen’s face.
“Umm… Sh-Shayla.”
“Bingo! We had it out about it and Frankie said he just never thought to take her name off them since they both still supported Dawn and Autumn. He didn’t give her traditional alimony but he allowed her to spend as she needed. Can you believe that mess, who does that? I mean, they have a divorce decree, but my God Camille, they still have joint accounts they share, her name is on the deed of the house I just moved me and my daughter into. But the whopper is the account she was calling about today. The one I didn’t see the records for. Guess how much is in that one?” Again, Camille was flabbergasted at the information being shoved at her. Gauging Karen’s anger the figure couldn’t be in the hundreds or mere
thousands.
“Twenty-five thousand.” Camille said that with a scrunched up face. She thought he was a mail courier; how much could he have?
“Nope my dear friend, six-hundred thousand dollars and Shayla is
getting half of it.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me. What does Shayla do to have that much money in an account with him?”
“Please honey, Shayla is a hair stylist. She can barely pay her rent without making
withdrawals from Frankie’s accounts. Apparently the man I married, not
only works for the government delivering mail, he owns a couple of barbershops, a carwash, and is part owner of a strip club in Atlanta. However, none of that is where the ‘six-hundred thousand dollars’ comes from. That stash comes from
when his mother passed. She had several life insurance policies for him and his sister, who lives in Europe by the way. Didn’t find out about her until me and Nikki were looking through photo albums.”
“Frankie, has a sister? Oh my goodness Karen. But slow down and breathe,
After Church: Walking Worthy....After the Benediction! (The Greatest Love Series Book 2) Page 7
