Lasting Fate

by Charisse Spiers

  He smiles at her and shows off a set of dimples, making him cuter than my original presumption. He lays his right hand over the location of his heart. "Always a heartbreaker, Karsyn. When are you going to give in to me and let me take you on a date?"

  "Come on, Luke, you know I don't date. Don't be silly. Besides, that would just make our totally awesome friendship awkward when it doesn't work out. How about a Bud Light?"

  I'm completely envious of her witty personality. Sometimes I feel like mine is dull because of my shy nature, but yet somehow I still end up friends with outgoing people. It's kind of strange, honestly.

  "Who's your friend?"

  "This is Kinzleigh," she says. She looks at me as she takes the cup that he recently filled to the brim with beer. "Kinzleigh, this is Luke. We have the same major, so we met in class first semester, but somehow we have been in three classes together since. How does that continue to happen, Luke?"

  She turns her head back to him and takes a sip of beer at the same time she says his name dripping in sarcasm. He winks at me and shrugs his shoulders with a huge grin smeared across his face. "No idea. I guess we just keep picking the same times when we make our schedules. I guess two great minds think alike. Isn't that what they say?"

  I place my hand over my mouth, trying not to laugh at him blatantly admitting he looks at her schedule before making his own.

  She shakes her head at him and rolls her eyes. "You have no shame, do you? Come on, Kinzleigh. Let's go circulate. I'm sure Luke here has a keg to manage."

  I follow behind her as she walks off. He calls out from behind us. "Those who take risks are the ones that will succeed. See you around, Karsyn."

  He's a little annoying, but oddly it's kind of cute. "Not in this lifetime," she mumbles and then reaches back to grab my hand.

  We weave through the crowd, she in front of me. I have no idea where we are going, but I'm going to have fun tonight if it's the last thing I do. I try really hard to be a responsible mother for Bryce, so I never get out and do anything. Once in a while we can both be kids for a few hours.

  Karsyn downs her glass of beer and pulls us both into the middle of the dance floor next to a group of girls. I assume she knows them based on their reaction as we close in next to them. A hip-hop beat comes over the speaker system and the dance floor becomes packed with people.

  Karsyn throws her hands in the air and starts singing to the song at the top of her lungs. She has a strong voice, but one that is enjoyable to listen to. I'm standing here watching all of them, not yet feeling that bold for the lack of alcohol in my system.

  She grabs my hands in hers, pulling me closer to her. "Dance with me!"

  What the heck… Why not… I don't know any of these people here. I probably won't ever see them again. I allow her to pull my hands over our heads and we both start swaying our hips to the music. I’ve never been a great dancer aside from cheerleading routines, but I give it my best shot. Free-styling was never one of my strong points. I roll my hips to the best of my ability and allow her to twirl me around. I'm starting to relax and enjoy myself. This is fun.

  The song changes and this time I start to sing along with her. Those who know me know that I'm no singer, but the music is so loud and with the constant flow of alcohol from cup to mouth no one is paying attention anyway. It's mostly couples grinding against each other, preparing for the epic proportions of bodily fluids that will be exchanged later. Then there are also a few cliques of girls like Karsyn and I. That’s as far as the eye can see aside from the loft overhead where I assume are bedrooms.

  Karsyn dances around me until she's behind me dancing back to back. With my arms raised in the air I sway them side-to-side in a rhythm opposite to the motion of my hips, brushing against Karsyn's backside.

  I glance up and catch a glimpse of Breyson with a red cup in his hand, leaning forward with his forearms on top of the rail, watching me. He winks at me, making my heart rate speed up. I blow him a kiss and he opens his free hand to catch it, and then closes his fist with a smile on his face.

  Out of nowhere Angelique comes up behind him and puts her grubby little paws on his waist, running them up his bare back. My heart stops completely and I feel like I'm going to throw up. Breyson's eyebrows dip as if he's slightly confused.

  That's because the only person supposed to be touching you that way is down here!

  I'm beginning to panic. She's watching me. She knows I can see her and she has a dirty grin on her face. Her hands slide to the front and start to descend as if she's going for his crotch, but he grabs them and slings them off, standing upright to turn around.

  You know what, I'm sick of this shit. Breyson and I have withstood a lot of fire and we're still standing strong. When something is important to you, you fight for it, no matter what that entails. It may require stepping out of your comfort zone, but at some point you have to stand up for yourself or people will trample all over you. Girls can be backstabbing and cruel. This is something I will have to fight constantly if I'm going to support Breyson's dream to play in the NFL.

  I look at Karsyn. "I'll be right back."

  I storm forward, pushing my way through the crowd looking for the stairs. I find them and grab the railing, ascending the steps so fast my thighs are burning. I am no longer thinking about anything but the tramp that has her hands on my husband. All I can see is a haze of red.

  Breyson can't even see me as I reach the top, because he is saying something to her. Her hand goes for his arm and I grab it, twisting it as hard as I can as I jerk it backwards. She screams and starts to turn toward me, but I never let up. I want her to feel an increment of the pain I feel when I uncontrollably envision him sticking his dick inside her every time I have to see her face.

  "You stupid whore. I told you next time you showed your face around here I was going to make sure it was your last, but you can't stand it, can you? Why can't you leave us alone and go find your own man. This one is taken."

  She shoves me backward trying to free her hand from my hold. "How do you even know he really wants you? Have you asked him since there became options? Did it ever occur to you that maybe he's only with you because he knocked you up and is making an effort to remain a good guy? Maybe I can make him happier than you."

  She just pressed detonate. Before her words may have made me unsure and self-conscious, but not now. After someone proves their love for you over and over, you actually start to believe it. Breyson tells me how much he loves me constantly, and more than that, he shows me. I trust him with every part of me, because he has earned it. A rock wall doesn't crumble by someone firing a few stones at it with a slingshot.

  I barrel toward her, pushing her against the wall with my hands. I grab her black hair in one hand and slap her across the cheek with the other as hard as I can. It's like my body has taken over and put my brain in time out. I've never held so much rage for another human being, not even the night I slapped Lexi and she said some nasty things as well. This woman, though, has experienced him in the most intimate way and is also trying to take him from me.

  I pull her hair in my hand harder, jerking her head to the side, and clench my teeth together. "I know he wants me because he asked me to marry him you selfish little twit. He's had every opportunity to back out and live a life with someone else, even after you showed up, but you know what? He still asked me to marry him and followed through with it. I'm going to tell you something else too. If anything regarding my son exits from your mouth again a slap will be the least of your worries, because when I get finished with you, you will wish you were dead. My son may have been unplanned, but that doesn't make him any less special. You may look at me with pity in your eyes, but you're the one I feel sorry for. Instead of finding your own happy ending you have to prey on a now married man. Understand one thing, bitch; no one will make him happier than me."

  My breathing is rapid and short as I work to catch up from the lack of air intake while I was all but spitting in her face. I hate
to resort to violence of any kind and I don't condone it, but there is always an exception to almost every rule and she deserved it. I don't care who you are or what the situation is; once someone is in a relationship they become off limits, especially if they have entered into the sanctity of marriage. There are no excuses otherwise.

  Her eyes fill with tears. For the first time since I've met the evil, heartless, female she actually looks remorseful. She looks from me to Breyson and begins talking in her Spanish accent. "You're married to her now? What she says is true?"

  "I tried to explain, but you wouldn't let me speak. You have a good side, Angelique, I've seen it, but somewhere since then you've lost it. For the last time, there is someone meant for you, but that someone isn't me. What we had was just a fling in a time when I was lost, literally. My place is here, with her."

  I totally forgot he was even standing there. I can feel him step behind me, placing his hands gently on my arms. "Let her go, baby. I think she gets the point now."

  I didn't realize I was still holding onto her hair, and I grabbed her shirt in my fist at some point during my rage. He pulls me toward him, creating a space between Angelique and I. Breyson is my therapy. He's my match when I need fire and my water when I get too hot.

  She looks at me. "I'm sorry. I need to go." Two short sentences and she is running down the stairs. I instantly start to relax knowing she is further in distance from the most important part of my life.

  "I'm so fucking sorry, baby." He whispers in my ear. "I had no idea she was still here. I'm sorry."

  I close my eyes and a tear falls down my cheek, probably from the high levels of adrenaline coursing through my body. My emotions are free-falling from the roller coaster they just went on. I trust Breyson and I meant what I said, but there is one question I have that I didn't consider before. I will ask it once and it will never arise again.

  I turn around to face him. I look in his eyes, instigating an emotional connection. He places his hands on each side of my face as if he’s about to kiss me. "There is something I need to ask you. I need you to be honest with me no matter what the answer is. Whether it hurts me or not I want the truth."

  He looks slightly worried, but nods. "Okay."

  "If you get drafted into the NFL you're going to have a lot of women putting you in similar situations or worse. I won't get to be with you all the time. Will you be strong enough to withstand the temptation and stay true to me...forever? I know we haven't gone without sex for long periods of time since we've been together, but in the case we have no choice can you endure it and wait for me? Can you always be faithful to me no matter what?"

  He backs me against the wall, pinning me against it. "There are no other options. I don't need sex, Kinzleigh, what I need is a life with you. I don't want sex with anyone but you. You're my wife, meaning you are my only. I will never cheat on you for any reason, famous or not."

  A sense of relief washes over me. That's all I need to know. He meant it. I can feel it in my heart. "Can we go home? I just want to cuddle with you."

  He pulls me into a tight hug, squeezing me hard. "That's the best idea I've heard all night."

  He kisses me on the top of the head. I have grown to love his sweet gestures. A life with Breyson is an amazing journey. Every day you get little sprinkles of sugar to make it sweeter. It's one thing you look forward to for the rest of your life.

  Chapter 20

  Breyson

  December...

  "Breyson, wake up, it's Christmas and it's snowing!" The soft, but excited whisper blows through my ears. I pretend I'm asleep knowing what's coming next. Kinzleigh has been in an exceptionally good mood since we moved in the new house at the beginning of this month. We are officially homeowners. It turned out so much better than I ever expected. She's been like a kid on crack candy with Christmas decorations ever since.

  The mattress dips underneath me, jousting me every time she comes down from jumping up and down on the bed. "Breyson, it's time to see what Santa brought."

  I barely peek through my closed eyelashes as her face falls. She plops down into a straddling position on top of me, landing right where I want her. She begins shaking my shoulder. "Breyson. Come on get up. It's our first Christmas as a married couple and Bryce's first Christmas."

  I open my eyes at the same time my face probably looks about like the Grinch who stole Christmas. "Gotcha." Grabbing her by the ribs I flip her over and start tickling her.

  Tickling is the one thing she hates, but I love it, because I get to hear that rare, uninhibited laugh that is better than any morning coffee. I do this every morning when she wakes me up for work before school and she continues to fall for it. That makes the score even, thus, anger is not allowed.

  She is kicking and screaming, bucking wildly underneath me, but I never let up. That amazing little laugh is right around the corner. "Breyson! Stahhhhp! I give up."

  Nope, not yet...

  "You know what I want."

  I dig my fingers into her sides deeper, working my fingers faster into her skin. She is now laughing so hard she can't breathe; that perfect laugh. Beautiful. She is tossing and turning, lightly punching my forearms. "O-kay… Please. I. Can't. Breathe."

  Now that my morning addiction has been fed I stop and lightly kiss her lips, getting out of bed. "Morning, baby."

  She sits up trying to catch her breath, narrowing her eyes at me pretending to be mad, but the smile on her face gives her away. "You know I don't like to be tickled."

  Her bare legs are peeking out of the oversized tee shirt she is wearing, my shirt. She wears one every night to bed. We wash more of my clothes than hers, but I don't say anything because I like seeing her in my shirts. "Yet you continue to fall for it every time. Besides, I like to hear your laugh. It sets me up for a good day. You wouldn't want me to get out of routine and flunk in class or mess up at practice do you?"

  She scoots to the edge of the bed, preparing to get up. I place a hand flat on the bed to each side of her. She looks at me. "Well when you put it that way I sound like such an asshole."

  "I knew you'd see it my way."

  Bryce starts crying, signaling it’s eating time. The boy is getting to be a chunk now that he's started eating baby food. He loves it. Kinzleigh's face falls slightly. "How are you feeling? You alright?"

  "No. I feel guilty."

  Kinzleigh decided this would be her last week to breastfeed. After New Years we are switching him to formula. She is starting school in a few weeks and it's just easier with our school schedules, plus she is starting to train for cheerleading tryouts in hopes she makes the squad for next season.

  "Hey, you have nothing to feel guilty of. You have given it to him for four months. I'm proud of you. Even if you choose to stay home with our kids later you still need to go to school and get a degree for you or you'll regret it. You don’t have to miss out on this phase of your life just because we have a child in the mix."

  She smiles. "Why are you always right?"

  "I'm not. I just skip the stage of panic, so I come to the conclusion faster than you."

  I kiss her, lingering on her lips. They are soft and taste like our mint toothpaste. I smile against her mouth, suck her bottom lip between mine and release it. "Have you been kissing Santa, Mrs. Abercrombie?"

  Her cheeks flush a little and she places her fingers over her lips. "Maybe. I heard he's really hot this year. I couldn't risk having bad breath, you know...just incase."

  I want to show her just how hot she makes me, but Bryce increases the pitch of his cry. Duty calls. "I'll get him. Meet me in front of the Christmas tree. I have a feeling Santa left you something awesome."

  Her smile lights up the room. If I didn't know any better I would think she was a kid, but the biggest present of them all is waiting in the barn. It's really for Bryce, but it is something that will grow with him. Neither of them can do more than look at each other for a couple of years, but I started a tradition with Divinity last Christmas and I figu
red each should have their own horse. I always did growing up. Pops always said a horse is a man's best friend. A horse will always stand by its owner once that bond is established, so I just thought if they grew up together it would be a deeper connection.

  Pops has been in ranching his entire life, so he has contacts that he has acquired over the years. He knows a few breeders, so he made a call. We lucked out because one of them had a colt that would be ready to leave his mother right before Christmas. We made the trip and picked him up last week.

  Keeping Kinzleigh out of the barn has not been an easy task. The woman loves her horse. I swear she was meant to be from the country. The only reason she didn't go against my request was because she has been busy getting things ready to start school for spring semester. We had to start the process of looking for a sitter to keep Bryce Monday through Friday during school hours and our parents are going to help out for practices and her training. Kinzleigh is steering that wagon. She will pick the best candidate for the job.

  Kinzleigh and Karsyn have become glued to the hip. She's over frequently and has helped Kinzleigh a lot since my schedule is so busy between work, school, and football. She even introduced her to a couple of girls in her sorority that are on the cheerleading squad this year. They have filled her in on the tryout schedule and process for next season. It makes some of the guilt fade now that she is working towards getting her life back. I believe we can still be good parents and go after our dreams.

  Since that first game I played in I've started every game. Coach kept his word. We were barely putting points on the board before I started and since then have only lost one game. I'd like to say it's all because of me, but Fisher and I make a good team, plus I get along with all the other players. Maybe we can turn this team around from the losing record they’ve had and put the school back on the radar for recruiting.