In the kitchen on the floor, Shawn sat with him, thinking about the ugly things in his own mind that would not go away. Nothing in his life overshadowed Jesse James Douglas, nothing. It was pure hell and Jesse hadn't been his wife - or his child. So the magnitude of what Derrick was feeling, he could relate to if he just upped it. The question was, where did they take him from there? He was not about to leave his brother again after learning he'd been playing Russian roulette, getting so intoxicated he couldn't get back on his feet again.
"Derrick - my ass is getting numb." Shawn mentioned out loud.
Derrick exploded into laughter, "Lost feelin' in mine - while ago."
"Yeah, well, we're gettin' up." Shawn launched himself forward coming to his feet, yelling for his brother and son, "Jake! Ben! Let's get'im up!"
When Jake entered the kitchen, there was a look of dread on his face, "Don't look like that, we have to get'im up." Shawn stated already knowing what the look was about.
"Goddamn Shawn, you weigh enough, but him - shit! You guys are killing my back man! Ben! Get in here! Hell - he's young."
He was on his way back into the house when he heard Jake calling for him, showing up beside him. "Yep?" He asked right away, looking from one to the other and then his uncle.
"We've got to haul him up off of that floor, you're the youngest, you get to lift from the shoulders." Jake delegated.
Ben smiled, "No problem, let's do it."
"Yeah, no problem, you don't know how much he weighs, he's a fuckin' tank! Solid as a goddamn tree trunk." Jake went on to inform Ben as he moved into position behind his uncle, pushing him forward to make room, getting into a squat to lift position. "Well? Am I gonna get some help here?" He asked looking up at Shawn and Jake, who stood side by side, mustering the brain power it would take to haul Derrick to his feet and out of the kitchen. The two brothers looked at each other. "Wait Ben, before we get him up, where're we takin'im?" Shawn asked.
"I think to the basement, it's easier to go down with him than up." Ben suggested, "Plus, there's two sofa sleepers down there." He added.
"Sounds like a plan to me, Shawn - you get his legs, you're a big - muscle bound Popeye lookin' kind'ah guy, ate all your spinach, handle him, I'll clear the way." Jake instructed.
"What the hell man, you're younger than me!"
"Yeah, but you're the bigger of us two, stronger, besides, you're the oldest - let's go. I'll get all the doors and move all the chairs! I can't be straining my back, I'm working overtime." Jake informed him, moving the chairs, clearing a path for them. Shawn looked from him to Ben, who was grinning waiting for them to make up their minds.
"Shawn! Get me, I can't feel my legs no more!" Derrick called out.
Ben burst into laughter, "I'm ready when you are." He spoke grinning at Shawn.
"Yeah, I think you better let me get that end." He cautioned Ben, "He really is heavy."
"I got'im - let's do it." Ben went back down, putting is arms under his uncle's, gripping his fingers in a tight lock before his chest. Shawn got beside his legs, hauled both in close up by his hips to take some of his torso weight off of Ben, "Get ready, lift!" They both pushed to their feet, straining under Derrick's weight, they staggered a bit and when Ben finally had him in a carrying position they headed for the basement stairs.
"Don' drop me." Derrick slurred.
"Shut - up - Derrick!" Shawn grunted.
"I - I gotta take a leak - I'm 'bout t'burst!"
"You hold that shit Derrick! Don't you dare fuckin' piss right now!"
"Maybe we should take'im outside!" Ben huffed.
"No, keep comin', in the basement, bathroom, shower! I'll clear the way!" Jake once again suggested, staying out of their way.
"Don' shake me Shawn, I'm gonna piss!"
"We gotta go down the fuckin' stairs Derrick!"
"Ohhh shit! I'm gonna piss - I - can't hol'it!"
"DERRICK! You fuckin' piss on me, I'll shoot you! Fuck Russian Roulette! Jake! Get that bathroom door open, we're droppin' him in the shower!" Shawn blazed, blowing hard. Ben couldn't speak, trying to keep his end up. They banged along and awkwardly staggered into the bathroom - dropping him carefully into the shower, where Shawn turned it on him, full blast, cold water!
"AAARGHH - COLD - COLD YOU BASTARD - THAT'S COLD!!!" Derrick sat up in the bath tub, trying to shake off the cold water that Shawn kept on him, "TURN IT OFF!!!"
"SHUT THE HELL UP! PISS ALREADY! We'll get you dry clothes!" He turned to Jake, "Get'im dry clothes!" And then to Ben, "Straighten up that kitchen and get some coffee on!"
Grinning, Ben saluted him, "Yes sir! Right away sir!"
Shawn turned back to Derrick, "This is going to be the last time I do this with you, you hear me Derrick! This is not you! You're the strong one, the one with his shit together, hold still so I can peal this shirt off of you!" He huffed, undressing Derrick who sat trying to kick his sodden shoes off.
"No, I should be - like you Shawn - I was like you - my - my baby - my wife wouldn't be-..."
"You are who you are Derrick. You did what you felt was the right thing to do. You didn't do wrong - that crazy twisted bitch did that to your wife, not you!"
"I - I didn' protect her."
"You tried, you followed the law and tried. You hear me? It's not your fault that there are lunatics out there, that is - not - your fault!"
"I - I should have - snapped her - her blasted neck, when I - when I had the chance - I know how, don't I Shawn? We know how. My dad, he tol' me - but I - I never wanted to Shawn, I never wanted to-..."
"I know Derrick, I know you never wanted to. Let's get these pants off you."
"You - you always took care - you always Shawn, took care o'us' - I - I wanted - I wanted to take care of you Shawn... I didn't like - dad hurtin' you - makin' you..."
Shawn's eyes welled up, "HUSH Derrick, hush! You're talking nonsense..." Shawn could barely see through his blurring.
"No - no - Shawn, I - I would die for you - I would die for you - my brother - I would - you take - care o'us Shawn, always."
"Well you took care of me too, always did, didn't you? So I know you, you're not weak, not a coward Derrick, you're not afraid - you're just - a good guy. That's all, you're just a real good, gentle guy - and you'll get over this, okay? You will."
Derrick nodded, almost stripped naked by his brother.
Jake stood in the doorway, eyes moist - and yet, once more, once again - he felt left out, not apart of that something special they shared. "Here, dry clothes for him." He finally spoke up. He noticed that Shawn was almost as wet as Derrick.
"Lay them there, get a couple of towels." He instructed.
Jake was quick to grab them out of the cabinet. Instead of standing back, he joined his older brothers, helping one dry the other off, hauling him out of the tub, dressing him. It was no easy feet, but soon, he was on the sofa bed that Ben had pulled out. Shawn was to his left, Jake to his right, Ben at their feet. All sipping coffee, with Derrick under the covers, fighting sleep feeling sorry for himself.
"Derrick, when we leave, are we going to have to take you with us?" Shawn asked.
"No," he mumbled, "...seein' my wife, in the mornin'."
"No more gambling, playin' Russian Roulette?" This time from Jake.
"No - I just - just want my wife - my Meri - I wan'er back."
"She never left you Derrick, she never would - she loves you too much." Jake again.
Derrick only grunted.
Shawn looked from him, to Jake and Ben, "If you two wanna head back, go on, take my SUV, I'll get home okay."
"I'll stay with you, if you don't mind?" Ben spoke up.
Shawn smiled at him, "That's up to you."
"I would stay, but Shawn - I don't wanna miss work."
"Hey, I understand, head on back home."
"No doubt your wife will be here to get you tomorrow."
"Yeah, or I'll get Mundo to come for us. Don't worry about it."
Taking a de
ep breath, Jake pat them on the back and headed off back to Camp Daniels, where just short of two hours, he was crawling back into bed behind Vivian, pulling her against him to try and get a few hours of sleep. As it was, he didn't make it in by 5 but at least he didn't miss the day.
* * *
Early the next morning...
Sylvia couldn't be sure what it was that was wrong but whatever it was, it had her pausing as she came awake to listen. She turned over to see the time, it was, 7:45am - silence.
That was the problem, it was too quiet and it shouldn't be. There should be at the very least, the sound of little feet running through the house, Darren's voice yelling out, "Hun'ry! Hun'ry mama!" Even though Crystal knew he would be hungry, and he knew that she knew that, he still yelled it over and over until his plate hit the table and he was placed before it. He was demanding like that already. She couldn't imagine where the noise was, after all, the boys rarely slept past 7:30am - not as long as she'd known them. Because of the overwhelming silence, she sat up in bed and headed for the bathroom to do her morning routine. She hadn't heard from Shawn, she imagined that he'd be staying in Madison for the day maybe. Coming out of the bathroom, clicking the light off, she went to make the bed when she noticed across the room under the door, a white sheet of paper laying there. She walked to it immediately picking it up, unfolding it, she read...
'Mama, I love you and I love Shawn so much. You two have been incredible, he is really the kind of father any girl would love to have. Had I one like him in the beginning of my life, being with you - my life may have been so different. As it is, that is not the case, my life is what I've made it. It's not right to put you or him in the position that I have with Victor. His being here constantly - shaking things up, was my doing. I've decided to go back mama...'
"What?! Crystal? Why?" Sylvia couldn't believe what she was reading and backed up to sit on her bed to finished reading the letter.
'... I've thought it through and it's only right. Remember, I filed for the divorce to get his attention, to get things going one way or the other - well it worked. I owe it to my sons and to the sanctity of marriage to give it another try. Please explain this to Shawn, I know he won't like it, but I had to follow my obligations to my family through. I love you both so much, please know that I have to take responsibility for what I've done.
Crystal
"No! No you do not have to do this so soon! You don't!" Sylvia stood stressing over it. She went through the house checking on the kids, Angela and Sasha was still asleep, as well Joseph on the sofa sleeper when she went down to the basement. She went to Mundo's room tapping on his door lightly, "Mundo!?" She whispered urgently, "You home? You in there?" She waited for a response and then, once more, trying not to wake Joseph, "Mundo..."
"Hmmm?" Was moaned from the other side of the door.
"You decent? I need to talk to you."
"C'min."
She rushed in sitting on the cushioned edge of the bed, he was laying on his stomach, wearing a t-shirt and gym shorts.
"Mundo - Crystal went back to Victor - she say anything to you about it? That she was thinking that?"
He lay unmoving - Sylvia pinched his thigh, hard.
"Ow mama - gone now." He whimpered scowling at her through heavy with sleep eyes.
"Wake up and listen to me. Crystal went back to Victor - she say anything to you about that?"
"What? When?" He squinted, turning over to sit up.
"She must have gone back last night while we slept. The boys are gone, she's gone, she left me this note."
He yawned, "Ah man... she ain't say nothing to me about going back. I thought she was set to stay here a while, 'least that's how she was acting."
"When I went to bed, all was fine, she was making plans to go to that meeting with Shawn, and picking up some stuff from town after joining some cooking class; this is completely out of the blue! He must have come back here and said something to her to make her change her mind."
"Shawn know?"
Sylvia groaned, "No - he's in Madison right now, went there to see about Derrick with Jake and Ben."
"Aaah man, dude gone be all broke up - and when Shawn hear it? He might fool around and go get'er."
"I know, I feel awful about Ben, but - he's always known what he was up against, and as for Shawn, he can't make her come home if she's set to make it work."
"Mama come on now, that ain't gone work." Mundo announced right off the bat.
"I'm afraid I'm with you on that one."
"Yeah, for one, she ain't come out and said it, but she in love with Ben."
Sylvia looked into his eyes, she sighed, "That's another thing I'm afraid of, if it's true, she can forget making it work with Victor."
"Oh it's true all right - and uh, don't get me wrong - Victor always been cool with me, but ah, what I see between Ben and Crystal, I've never seen with Victor and Crystal, not ever. They had some good times you know, but it's different. With Ben, she softer, gentle, silly, giddy sometimes - different - I mean, acts like a - well, like a woman - a lady, I can't explain it. With Victor, she almost militant - absolute - like she have to take charge, be in charge and I don't even think she know she doin' it. Ben, she follows - Victor, she leads - two totally different women with them. I don't know why - but that's just the way I see it. She always on her guard with Victor, she don't relax - it's like she gotta watch herself, and what she doin' - as if - hmmm, as if, she's waiting on him to strike you know? So she can strike back. I know one thing, I don't think it's love - it ain't gone work."
Sylvia thought about what he'd observed, she hadn't lived with Crystal and Victor, so she couldn't judge how her daughter had been with one over the other, but she believed Mundo. He had lived with them as well having been around her with Ben, so she trusted his judgement. She finally turned back to him, "Go on back to sleep." she stood from the bed to leave the room when he asked, "You gone call her?"
"Will it do any good?"
Mundo shook his head, flopping back in the bed, all he could think of was Ben. They had gotten pretty close, getting along as easy as if they'd always been stepbrothers. They just clicked, very similar to the way Shawn came into their family, dropping and snapping into place of their complicated puzzle parts of their life as if he'd been one of the pieces missing. Ben, fell into place in that very same way, his curves, points and edges fit right in. Mundo felt, more so with Crystal than with either of them - with everything he'd viewed between them, they simply jived, were in sync, even Mundo knew how rare that was, to find someone you were in complete synchronization with. While he hadn't wanted to take part in moving her one way or the other, liking both Victor and Ben, if he were to be the one to decide what was best for her, he couldn't help but want her to go with the one that made her glow, smile, be a woman, be joyful - he'd only seen that with Ben; while he had nothing against Victor, his sister was not joyful with him; married to someone forever - meant you needed to feel joyful with that person.
Sylvia went into the kitchen when the phone rang - with her immediately answering.
"Hello?"
"It's your husband - good morning - I love you."
Sylvia smiled, "I love you more-..."
"Ha!"
"We can argue about that when you get home Mr McPherson; how's Derrick?"
"I think he's okay for now, wasn't too good when we got here. Anyway, he was up first thing this morning and off to the hospital. Jake went back last night in the SUV, Ben and I are kind of stranded here. Mundo home and up?"
"He is."
"See if he'll come and get us."
"Okay hang on, I'll ask him." She went back to the room, tapped on the door then cracked it whispering, "Shawn's on the phone, he and Ben need a ride back from Madison, you up for it?"
"Ask'em if I got time to shower?"
She put the phone to her ear about to ask when Shawn beat her to it, "I heard, tell'em yes and pick us up at Derrick's house, we'll be waiting."
*
* *
Isaac and Darren were having a fit; when they woke up to see they weren't where they went to sleep, the racket the two cut loose with was enough to wake the dead. Even though it took Victor a few minutes to get Isaac to at least stop screaming, startling him from his sleep on the sofa, he could be quieted to a degree after pitching a fit; however Darren was not having it. His displeasure was as it had always been when he thought he'd been left with Victor, he could not be soothed, there was nothing Victor could do to placate him. He'd picked him up, but Darren only struggled and fought with him to be put down, red in the face, tears washing his cheeks, he stumbled away from Victor looking for his mother.
Because of the noise, there was no way Crystal could sleep through it, by the time she sat up in bed, Darren was pounding on the closed door; she immediately rose and opened it for him to rush into her arms.
"Ohhh Darren, shhh shhh shhh," She rocked him, "I'm right here, mama didn't leave you, I'm right here." She gave the mother's embrace he sought, kissing his wet cheeks, stroking his head of blonde curls as she rocked him, sitting on the bed to have Victor leaning in the doorway, bleary eyed, watching. "I tried to keep him quiet, but - he wouldn't even let me hold him."
"It's okay, I got'em - you can go lay back down if you want."
Right then, Isaac showed up in the doorway, his little arms crossed over his chest, his stance and body language saying loud and clear, I am not happy. With his scowl so mutinous, his bottom lip rolled out, the look he shot Crystal said it all, if that weren't enough, he opened his mouth and said it. "I wan' go home!"
"Isaac, you are at home." Victor corrected him right away, stroking the top of his head.
"No!" He jerked his head from Victor's touch and moved further into the room, away from his father, against the wall - same angry stance, "I wan' go home, mama!"
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