Unable to bear another moment, she shifted into drive and headed off down the road, back to Victor, after turning two corners and coming out at 12/16 where she would turn left, looking that way, she saw a car heading that direction, she sighed, it was Victor. She took several deep breaths to calm herself down, clearing her face once more, wiping all tracks of her tears away.
He spotted her as well while turning onto the street and stopped lowering his window, "Crystal? Where you going?"
As much as she didn't want to say it, there was no sense in lying, "I - I thought about it - I'm on my way home."
"Home? You mean, our place home?"
"Yeah, that is, if that's still what you want?"
"Wooo!" He threw his head back shouting in jubilee, tossing open the door, right on the street, at the corner, he jumped out rushing to her, his hands resting on the open window, looking into the back where his boys lay sleeping, smiling brightly he looked into her eyes, "Everything will be so much better this time around, I promise you it will be!"
"I'm only coming back, under the terms you offered. I'm not coming home to climb into bed with you, we have a lot to fix-..."
"Okay okay, I know - I know we do, but ah, this is short notice, I don't have any where to go tonight, can I stay, sleep on the sofa? Please?"
A car was pulling up behind her, flicking their lights at them.
"Yeah Victor, that's fine, I'll meet you there."
Feeling on top of the world, Victor rushed back to his car, jumped in closing the door and drove into the gas station to turn around. When he pulled back out, it was to catch up with his wife to follow her home.
When they arrived, she was the first one to pull into the driveway. Victor pulled up behind her and jumped out quickly, rushing to the front door to open it for her. He looked in realizing the house was a mess, he wasn't big on cleaning up and now wished he'd done so. There was no time to worry about that now. Rushing to her aid, he found her just sitting still behind the steering wheel.
"Crystal?"
She was slow to look at him, "Where will the boys sleep?"
"They can sleep with you. First thing in the morning, I'll give you whatever money you need, buy them beds, whatever - if you want, buy new furniture, anything you want Crystal, don't worry about that stuff in storage." He offered, opening her car door, "The uh, house is a bit of a mess, don't worry about that, I'll clean it up, you don't have to do anything."
"That's okay, I don't mind." She answered softly, climbing from the car while he opened the back door and started undoing Darren from his car seat.
"I'll do Isaac." She spoke softly about to head around to him.
"No! I'll do them, I'll do them both, you look tired, just - go in, make yourself comfortable. I'll bring them in. You got any stuff for me to bring in?"
"Yes, in the trunk." She informed him, grabbing her purse and her laptop.
He noticed the laptop case, "Wow, that a laptop? When'd you get that?"
"In L.A. - Shawn bought it for me."
"Oh, cool - I would have bought you one, if you'd just asked."
"No matter, I have one now. I'll go in, get the bed ready." She turned heading inside, and let out a big sigh once she got in - the place was more than just a mess. There were take out bags and Styrofoam trays from dinners he'd brought home all over the living room, along with his clothes that he'd taken off, dirty socks, underwear, jeans, sweats, t-shirts, whatever he'd been wearing, off and on the floor. Newspapers, beer cans, crushed and uncrushed. His X-box, games, controllers stretched out in front of the TV, along with filled and empty DVD movie cases, including a few porn ones among them. Seeing them made her shake her head, moving on to the bedroom, which was just as big a mess. The bed unmade, the sheets and spread rough and partly on the floor. Same scene from the living room, had spread to the bedroom, or vice versa.
Victor had Darren in his arms, walking in, he looked down, saw the porn disks and kicked them out of sight and under the TV stand. Explaining as loudly as he dared, "Don't worry, I'll clean it all up, I - I hadn't expected you to suddenly, well - decide to come home."
She was standing in the middle of the bedroom, looking down at the rumbled bed, "Should I be concerned about laying my boys in that bed? Or myself for that matter?"
"Of course not Crystal, it's clean."
"Em, mind if I change the sheets anyway?"
"No, of course not, go right ahead, I'll lay them on the sofa, bring in the other stuff while you do that."
Crystal stripped down the bed, stacked the sheets in the kitchen by the laundry closet and went looking for sheets, she couldn't find any. He was back in with Isaac, laying him on the sofa.
"There are no extra sheet's Victor."
"Oh, yeah, I forgot - ummm, Walmart's open all night."
"You suggesting I go, or you?"
"Um, I'll go, yeah, I'll go, let me get your other things in."
He worked fast and hard to get her things in, and then promised that he'd be back fast as possible with sheets, pillows and blankets.
While he was away, Crystal walked around the house, and while it was very familiar, it certainly wasn't the same. For one, all the decorating and arranging she'd done to it was gone, and in the dinning room, which surprised her, a dinning room set. A rather nice one, when they'd lived there the first time, they hadn't had one, they couldn't afford it. She had always wanted one, but never asked for it because of the way he'd been about his money, so she'd settled for a simple table and chairs to sit around in the kitchen. Thus leaving the dinning room for the boys to play in or - for Mundo later to set up his mixing tables, where on a rare occasion, she'd let him throw a set there, and that was rare. Looking at it, she wondered what made him buy it?
She walked into the kitchen and almost fainted, "No damn wonder he buying take outs!" The stove was a mess, boiled over with whatever he might have been cooking there, all the pots and pans, dirty; all the dishes, dirty, all the glasses, few that there were, dirty. The garbage can was overflowing, so instead of taking it out, he opened another bag which sat open on the floor. "This don't make no sense." She grumbled and started cleaning up right away. There was no way she would go to bed in a house this messed up. She didn't even want to go in the bathroom. Yet, as nature and Murphy's Law would have it, she had to go. More dirty clothes, towels from showering piled up, spilled shampoo and body wash in the tub, the toilet was stained from him missing that gigantic hole that was the toilet bowl and in the sink, globes of tooth paste and clumps of mouth suds that he'd spit in it and hadn't rinsed it out, some with blood mixed in, from his teeth bleeding - seeing it made her feel ill - she hated stuff like that, so did her mother.
She had to pee and could only stare, wondering how long exactly had he been back in this place for it to look so rough. She went on a hunt for cleaning stuff and found plenty. New, un-used Fantastik, and other bathroom cleaners, so obviously, at some point, he'd intended to clean, "Thank goodness for that!"
She made quick work of cleaning the toilet first so she could use it. Then gathered up all of his clothes and towels, she took them into the kitchen by the laundry closet, dropping them there. Back in the bathroom, she sprayed down the shower, tub and sink, letting that soak in, she went to the kitchen and stacked the dishes, scraping some that needed it. Filled the sink with hot water and dish washing liquid and put the glasses and silverware in first to soak in the hot water while she sprayed the little table he had in there, it was caked up with dried ketchup spills, mustard, Miracle Whip globs, egg yolk and dried beans and noodles. Sitting the Fantastik down, she grabbed the broom and swept up, shaking her head as she went, tying up filled garbage bags, and taking them outside. She cleaned and yawned while waiting on him to return. By the time he returned, the house was gleaming clean, all for needing vacuuming. All floors had been cleaned up, swept and mopped, bathroom sparkling, kitchen neat and clean, smelling fresh once more, as well the living room and their bedroom. She even hit the room that had once
been their boys, all the boxes and stuff Victor had landed in there was moved to the third and smaller bedroom that had been Mundo's. All done in the space that he'd been gone, and this around the boys as they slept. She'd just finished changing into her lightweight pyjamas when she heard the car pull back into the drive. Walking in, the first thing he said was, "Wow - smells good in here again."
"Em." Was Crystal's only comment as she reached the sofa, plopping down. The radio was playing low in the background.
"You didn't have to do it, I said I would clean up."
"It's done now, can you make up the bed please?" She asked over the washing machine spinning and the dryer going.
"Yep, I'll do that. I bought three sets of sheets for our bed, a comforter. I got a temporary bed for Darren, with sheets and everything, it's a cool playpen, cushiony all over, and a little mattress for it. I remembered that I had an Aero bed from camping, Isaac can sleep on that, it's a single one, I bought sheets, everything for it too. I'll make them up as well."
"Thanks, I hope you brought back food, because there's nothing for them in that kitchen, I cleaned out the refrigerator, nothing - well, beer."
Victor stood stunned, realizing he hadn't brought back food, he'd only been thinking about bed stuff. "Oh man, I didn't."
"Em, so what are they gonna eat in the morning when they wake up?" She asked, still on the sofa.
"Uh, let me make our bed-..."
"My bed, I'm sleeping in it alone." Crystal corrected immediately.
"That's what I meant, and theirs, unless you want to make them up, and then I can go back to the store, if - that is, you want me to?"
"You're used to working nights, I think I've done enough. When you get done with the beds, you can go get some food in this house, some real food, good food, not junk food. Good plain yogurt, fresh fruit, eggs, bacon, sausage, wheat bread for their toast, butter - not margarine - milk and cheese - that should tie them over until I'm up to go grocery shopping."
Victor stood in the middle of the floor in disbelief, certain that she would have said, yeah, go on, I'll take care of the beds, not! "Oh, okay... uh, well - I better get the beds done first, huh? You sure, you don't wanna do it, and then I can go back to the store, for the second time, at like, what time is it?" He asked, clearly hinting for her to help him out a bit.
"It's a quarter to two in the morning. As I said, I've done enough around here, this place was a wreck, you should be ashamed of yourself, letting it get that bad." She spoke low, but he could hear her clearly.
"Well that's why I said I'd do it." He returned in the same low tone.
"I wasn't sitting my butt on no nasty toilet, nor sleeping in no nasty house, or having my boys in no house the way this was; anyway, it's done. You can do the beds and go get food." She finished leaning sideways on the sofa behind Darren, looking up at him with an expression of, 'Well?'
Victor sighed, went into the bedroom, took the new sheets out of the packages and got started. Crystal stayed put until he was done with all the beds, which were ready for them to lie down.
"Okay, you can put them to bed now, I'll head off for food."
"You can put them to bed first, I'm tired, I'm going to bed." She rose from the sofa and walked to the boys bedroom door to make sure their beds were right, with sheets, covers and all, and they were, satisfied, she went back to their room as Victor lifted first Isaac and carried him to his bed, covered him and then back for Darren. Back to their room, he looked in on her, she was under the covers, facing the wall, away from the door, "You sleep yet?" He asked softly, almost whispering.
"No."
"I'm going now, back to the store, for food - like you asked."
"Thank you."
"Anything else you can think of, you might want?"
"No."
"Okay... well, I'll be back then."
"Bye."
She never turned around to look at him, nothing, just stayed as was.
Victor sighed, turned and made his way to his car, to return to the store, once more.
* * *
Chapter 287
Earlier that night, Madison...
"You see anything yet? See him anywhere?" Jake asked.
"Screw this, I'm going in through a window." Shawn commented heading down the back porch stairs to find the best window to break into. Since Ben was the youngest of the three, they made him climb over the back of the house, looking into windows, standing on the seal of the bathroom and kitchen trying to find Derrick somewhere in the house. They figured he had to be home because the van and truck was in the driveway. They knocked continuously, on the front and back door, phoned the house and listened to the phone ring from outside, and still there was no response from within.
"Ah, brother dear, if my memory serves me correctly, this place is wired; you break a window, alarms will be going off."
On the ground now, Shawn stood with his hands on his hips looking up at Jake, who stood on the second level porch looking down at him,
"Okay, brother dear - what would you suggest I do then? Just stand out here and hope he'll eventually come to the door? After all the noise we've made, if he hasn't by now, he won't be. So what would you suggest?"
"Hell Shawn, I don't know, what if he's gone for a walk or something, he might not-..."
"I see'im! He's in the kitchen, he's either sitting on the floor, or laying on the floor." Ben immediately jumped back from the ledge he'd been standing on, landing on the ground not far from Shawn. Who, after hearing that, broke in the same basement window Margaret Wheeler had - no alarms went off - they weren't sure why, but not long after Shawn went in, Jake and Ben quickly followed. He rushed up the basement stairs into the main part of the house and into the wrecked kitchen to see Derrick sitting on the floor, back against a cabinet. When they rushed in, he lifted his head and through squinty eyes, one almost closed, asked, "Wha'n'hell ya'want?" He was good and drunk, "All th'damn noise." He grumbled, staying put.
Shawn, Jake and Ben looked at each other, sighing in relief until Ben's eyes caught sight of the gun on table with loose bullets scattered around it. Using his eyes he gestured towards it. Jake and Shawn glanced at it and back at him; Shawn was the first to softly order him, "Get that out of here."
Ben moved for it, yet despite Derrick being drunk, he saw what he was going for, "Leave it! Don' fuckin' touch it!"
Ben froze, looked back at Jake and Shawn who nodded for him to get it anyway, while Jake asked Derrick, "Why you on the floor?"
His eyes rolled to Jake, "Why ya'think, can't get up." He mumbled and then, "HEY! You, pu' - that - back."
Ben ignored him, since he couldn't get up, he took the gun and all the bullets laying there heading out the room.
"Derrick, what's up with the gun? Huh?" Shawn asked coming further into the room, he decided to sit on the floor next to him.
"Em um," He shrugged, and then, "A lil'Russian rou-lette - guess - I get t'live. Spun it, pull trigger, click - spun it, pull, click, three times, click - click - click - nothin' happen. Guess it mean, I live with it, huh?"
Jake had been standing, he collapsed into a chair nearby so heavily it scrapped on the floor with the force of his landing. Shock from his words choked him up, as horror shot through him at the picture of his brother sitting alone in his kitchen, playing with his life, gambling to see if he could live with what was happening or not.
Ben paused in the door as Derrick's words reached him before he'd gone from the room. He couldn't believe what he'd heard, this was not the Uncle Derrick that he knew. He stood frozen, stunned because had either of the three gambles failed him, they would have been greeted by something neither of them would have been able to deal with. Turning from the scene, he made his way out of the house, to put the gun in his father's SUV.
Shawn couldn't speak, all he could do was stare at him, caught off guard by what he'd just heard, "Derrick, you're - you're kidding right? I mean, you didn't really did you? Three times?"
"I try - bull
et was'n there, can' do su'cide, not nice. God don' like it."
"Don't be insane Derrick! That was suicide!"
"NO! I'm still here ain'I? That - was lettin' God decide - an' God said - 'Oh no, live with'it. Stupid, weak, coward.' Tha's what he said - live with'it."
Shawn sat next to him not sure what to do, "Derrick - you're gonna have to find a way to get by this, you have a wife that needs you right now-..."
"You see my wife Shawn... my beautiful Meri? See what that - that - see what she did to my Meri? Kill one o'my children, I can't - can't get it - out of my head - it won't go away. Now my Meri - she won't look at me Shawn, she can't - can't bear to - to look at me." He struggled out, choked up and trying to breathe.
Jake sat quiet, not sure what to say either, his heart hurt for his brother, that he'd even considered putting a gun to his head, drunk or not, "Derrick, I can't believe you tried that - what if one of the times, you hit the bullet, do you know how we would have found you? How could you have even pulled the trigger once, let alone three times!?" Jake stressed.
Derrick lifted his bleary eyes, so tired, red rimmed and swollen from sobbing so much, "I - I kept thinkin', all it take, is - one bullet - t'clean up all the ugly in my head. Jus' seconds, it goes through - takes out everythin' on the way - clean - gone." He murmured low.
Jake stood from the table and walked from the room. It was too close to having gone through what he had with Doris. He'd seen up close what a bullet to the head could do - maybe it wiped up the ugly from within the head, but the mess it left for others after the self inflictor was done, passed the ugly on to them. That his own brother, the one most stable and calm among them could actually have done such a thing wreaked havoc within his system. Jake wasn't sure if he was equipped with what it would take to cope with loosing one of his brothers.
BOMAW 10-12 Page 148
