by Lyn Denison
“She”— Kate swallowed, trying to clear her throat— “she did?”
The child nodded, her grin widening. “She told me about all the adventures you had and the exciting things you did, and about all the scrapes you got into.”
All? Kate swallowed again. No, Ashley wouldn’t have told her daughter all of it. She felt a rush of distaste with herself at her thoughts and wiped a hand across her eyes. She had to pull herself together.
This was Ashley’s daughter, Kate told herself. Part of Ashley. She surreptitiously studied the child. Yes, she was like Ashley but, Kate decided with a brief flare of antipathy, her mouth, her smile, was her father’s.
But she was being unfair to the child, Kate berated herself. It was hardly the child’s fault she resembled her father. And the child had nothing to do with any of this. She should know better, Kate told herself, for hadn’t Kate herself suffered as a child by being part of the notorious Ballantynes?
“I’m Jennifer Andrews.” The child held out a capable hand, and Kate automatically took it, the warmth of it engulfing her, clutching at her heart.
“My mother was your best friend. I knew you straightaway because Mum showed me your photo,” Jennifer continued innocently.
“She did?” Kate repeated, her eyebrows rising in surprise, while deep inside her a tiny spark of pleasure flickered because Ashley had kept a photo of Kate. Was it the one they’d had taken at Ashley’s sister’s wedding, the photo they’d put in matching frames? Kate had hers, of herself and Ashley, in the bottom drawer of her dressing table. She rarely allowed herself to look at it, but she knew it was there. She often just touched the wooden frame.
“Yes. And you haven’t changed hardly at all.”
Kate smiled faintly at that. She felt as though she’d lived an entire lifetime since that time. “How long have you been here?” she asked unevenly. “I mean, when did you arrive in the Towers?”
“Yesterday. We were going to come up on Monday, but Mum had to do a few things.” A quick frown came and went on the child’s face. “We flew. It was really excellent. I hadn’t been on an airplane since we were here last time.”
“When was that?” Kate couldn’t prevent herself from asking. Had Ashley been here before and Kate not known?
“When I was six. That’s four years ago. We were going to stay, but my father came and took us home.” Jennifer bit her lip.
The light seemed to have gone from the little girl’s eyes, and Kate wondered what caused the unhappiness. It was obvious that something was wrong and that it had something to do with her father.
“Did you know my father as well as Mum?” she asked and Kate nodded.
“Yes, slightly,” she replied carefully. “We met years ago, before you were born.”
Jennifer nodded. “Dad was working at the hospital here. That’s how he met Mum. He’s a doctor you know.”
“Yes, I know.” Kate searched around for something to add to a conversation that had suddenly become quietly serious. “He used to play football with your uncles,” she said to fill the silence that seemed to hover over them.
“He doesn’t play football any more. He works all the time.”
Kate nodded. “Doctors do work hard, don’t they?”
Jennifer rested her elbow on her knee, her chin on her hand, and a wave of pain clutched at Kate. Ashley used to sit exactly like that.
Silence fell between them again, and Kate shifted uneasily in her chair. The canvas creaked, and Jennifer turned to look at her.
“My father replaces people’s hearts. He’s a really important doctor,” she said earnestly.
Kate wondered why she was surprised. The Dean Andrews she had known had been a young intern. He’d been handsome in a dark and intense sort of way, but Kate had always thought he was self-centered and petulant. And she’d burned with jealousy when Ashley had told her Dean had asked her to the movies. “I suppose that’s why he has to work long hours.”
“I guess.”
“Do you have any brothers and sisters?” Kate asked to change the subject. Even now she found she couldn’t talk easily about Ashley’s husband.
“No, there’s just me. Dad wanted more children but Mum couldn’t have any more after me.”
Kate glanced at the child in surprise. What had happened to Ashley?
“There were complications,” Jennifer explained importantly. “Mum and I both nearly died.”
“Oh.” Kate swallowed, torturing herself with the thought of Ashley dying and no one telling her. Her heart contracted painfully at the thought. She didn’t think she could take any more revelations this afternoon. “Did you tell your parents you were coming over here?”
Jennifer shook her head. “Not exactly. There’s only Gran and me at home, and Gran’s having a rest. But I’m sure Mum wouldn’t mind. She’s told me so much about the tree house I had to see it for myself.” She looked around and sighed. “It’s just like I imagined it would be. Can I come here sometimes?”
“Well,” Kate hesitated. “I think you should ask your parents if you can first.”
“It’s just that my cousins are arriving today.” Jennifer screwed up her nose. “And I might need to get away from them occasionally.”
“Don’t you like your cousins?”
Jennifer shrugged. “I don’t really know them very well. I haven’t seen them for ages. When Aunt Belinda and Uncle Patrick came down to Melbourne last year they left the boys at home.”
Belinda Maclean, Ashley’s older sister, had married young, and her husband had been tragically killed before her first son was born. She’d returned to live with her parents, and Kate and Ashley had often babysat young Adam. A few years later Belinda married Patrick Harrison and went to live on his cane farm near Tully.
Kate couldn’t recall much about the actual wedding, but she vividly remembered what happened afterward. She made herself push those particular memories out of her mind. “The boys?” she queried, and Jennifer pulled a face.
“Aunt Belinda has three sons. Can you believe that? Adam’s fifteen, Mark’s about twelve, and Josh is a bit older than me. What I want to know is, am I supposed to talk to them all day?” Jennifer held out her hands, palms upward. “I mean, what if I don’t like them?”
Kate smiled. “What if you do?”
Jennifer giggled. “Mostly I don’t like boys. They’re always teasing you and stuff. Do you like boys?”
Kate felt herself flush. What did she reply to that? “Some are nice and some aren’t, just like some girls are nice and some aren’t.”
“I guess.” Jennifer stood up, pulling at a branch and peering through the leafy shield toward her grandparents’ house. “Oh, no. There’s the can Mum’s back from picking up Aunt Belinda and the boys. Uncle Pat’s coming later. I didn’t go with Mum because I couldn’t fit in Gran’s car with all of them and their luggage. And besides, I didn’t want to be squashed in with all those boys.” She wrinkled her small nose. “I guess I better go.”
She climbed off the platform and onto the branch below. “Maybe you could come over and see us later?”
“Oh, I don’t think … I, I’m going out,” Kate finished lamely.
“Are you? Well, Mum will probably come over to call on you soon. Maybe tomorrow. She’s looking forward to seeing you again.”
With that the child disappeared, and Kate sat staring at the place where she’d been.
Ashley was looking forward to seeing her.
Kate stood up and felt her heart shift in her chest. What would she do if Ashley did come over? How would they react to seeing each other again? Would Ashley pretend there had been nothing between them? Dear God! Kate knew she wouldn’t be able to bear it.
Then Kate heard voices, car doors slamming, and she found herself trying to look through the leafy branches as Jennifer had done. The branches all but obscured the house now, so she pulled at a thinner branch, holding it back so she could get a better view.
A group of people were walking
along the side of the Maclean house heading for the back door where Jennifer stood waiting for them. No one would guess she had just slid between the loose palings of the back fence.
Kate picked out Belinda. She looked a little older, but Kate recognized her. She would be thirty-four now. Beside her carrying a couple of suitcases was a gangling teenager who had to be Adam. The second boy was a redhead like his father, and the youngest had Belinda’s dark hair.
As they rounded the corner of the house, Kate saw the figure they had been partially concealing. Kate recognized her immediately too. She walked with an easy grace that struck a nerve deep inside Kate. Her golden hair was much shorter now, but it glistened in the sunlight just as it always had. She raised one hand to brush the front back from her face in a gesture that was so familiar to Kate she heard herself moan softly.
“Oh, Ashley,” someone said thickly, and then Kate realized it was herself.
At that moment Ashley turned her head, looked toward the back fence and the top of the huge tree, and Kate drew back in alarm, letting go of the branch. Would Ashley have seen the movement, caught her spying on them?
Kate stepped across and quickly lowered herself onto the branch, fumbled for hand-and footholds, stumbled down the ladder, and ran back to the house. By the time she reached her bedroom she was breathless. She sank down on the side of the bed and tried to calm herself.
Before she could prevent herself she had opened her dressing-table drawer and lifted out the photograph. It was a head-and-shoulders study, and Ashley smiled back at her, beside her own far more serious face. Kate turned and sat down on the bed again.
The photo had been taken at Belinda’s wedding by the official photographer. Ashley had made him take one of her with Kate, organizing them both to stand close together, arm in arm. Kate didn’t think it was such a great shot of herself, but at least it was a photo of her and Ashley together.
“Oh, Ashley,” she said again and lay back against her pillows.
Belinda’s wedding, well, afterward, had been the beginning.
Ashley had walked Kate home after the reception, which had been held in a huge tent in the Maclean backyard. They were both still in their wedding finery, Ashley in her mauve chiffon bridesmaid’s dress and Kate in a plain blue dress she’d bought for the occasion.
Kate’s aunt was in the back room dozing in front of the television, and after they’d given her a short description of the wedding they’d gone into Kate’s room.
“I hope the photo of us comes out. I’m going to get us matching frames so we can have them on our dressing tables,” Ashley said as she kicked off her shoes and threw herself onto Kate’s bed.
“It’ll be okay of you, but I always look like a dork in photos.” Kate moved Ashley’s legs aside so she could sit beside her.
“You do not.” She smiled up at Kate. “You look great. Intelligent. And beautiful.”
Kate gave a disbelieving laugh. “Liar, liar, pants on fire.”
Ashley laughed and then sobered. “I don’t know why you always put yourself down. I think you’re beautiful.”
And when Kate was with Ashley was the only time Kate did feel beautiful.
“Sorry I didn’t get over to see you last night.” Ashley rolled her eyes. “I didn’t finish practice until late, and then Mum had us all running around in circles making sure everything was just right for Belinda’s big day.”
“I guess there was a lot to organize.”
“After going through all this the past few weeks I think I’ll elope.” She looked up at Kate. “If I ever get married, that is.”
Something twisted inside Kate, and she looked away. “You will,” she said as evenly as she could.
“I don’t think I want to,” Ashley declared with feeling.
“Why not?” Kate asked, secretly pleased by that statement.
Ashley shrugged. “T. J. tried to kiss me,” she said without preamble, and Kate gave her a startled look.
“When?”
“Behind the stands at softball practice yesterday afternoon.”
“We aren’t supposed to go behind the stands,” Kate began, and Ashley gave her an old-fashioned look.
“Everybody goes behind the stands, Kate,” she said dryly.
Kate had never been behind the stands but she let that pass. “Did you — what did you do? When he kissed you?”
“Pushed him over the fence.”
Kate bit off a laugh, and Ashley giggled.
“Well, he deserved it. I don’t want anyone kissing me unless I want to be kissed. I mean, kissing is pretty personal, don’t you think, Kate?”
Kate flushed. She had never envisaged kissing a boy, couldn’t even begin to imagine it, let alone anything else. In fact Kate wouldn’t let herself think about Belinda and her new husband and what they’d be doing tonight, although Ashley’s brothers had teased the happy couple unmercifully with nudges and innuendos.
“Apart from that,” Ashley continued, “T. J. was really sloppy.” She wiped her mouth. “Yuck! I felt like he was trying to swallow me whole.”
Kate shuddered and wrinkled her nose. “It makes me feel sick.”
“What? T. J. or kissing?”
“Kissing.”
“We’ll be expected to, you know.”
“We don’t have to if we don’t want to. You just said so.”
“No, I mean if you fall in love.”
Kate frowned. “We’re only fifteen. That’s too young to fall in love.” She felt a moment of confusion, and suddenly disquieted, she pushed the feeling away.
Ashley laughed. “We’re nearly sixteen, and lots of girls in our class have been kissing for years.” She paused for emphasis. “Kissing and more, I might add.”
“More?” Kate repeated, her mouth suddenly dry.
Ashley pulled a face. “You know.”
Kate blushed. “You mean— They have? Who? How do you know?”
“They’ve told me, that’s how I know.” Ashley tsked. “Honestly, Kate. Sometimes I think you go around with your eyes closed.”
Kate sighed. “I’m not like you, Ash. People tell you things. They don’t tell me.”
“I tell you things.”
Kate smiled. “You tell me things all the time, even when I don’t want to know.”
“Don’t you want to know about kissing?” Ashley teased.
“No, I don’t think so.”
“Well, I think you should know all about it. In fact, I think you should be practicing now so you’ll be ready when you really want to kiss someone.”
Kate grimaced. “I don’t know anyone I’d want to kiss.” That same uncomfortable feeling twisted in her stomach, and her gaze was drawn to Ashley’s lips. Quickly Kate looked away. “Or anyone who’d want to kiss me,” she added quickly.
“What about Tim?”
Kate was horrified. “Your brother?”
“I think he likes you.”
“He’s nearly nineteen,” Kate said in absolute dismay.
“Mmm. I guess he is a bit old. But he does like you, I’m sure of it.”
Kate didn’t think she’d ever be able to look Tim Maclean in the face again.
“Well, what about Mike Dunstan?” Ashley began reeling off names and Kate shook her head emphatically.
“No way.” She looked at Ashley. “Do you want to kiss anyone?”
Ashley gave the question some consideration. “No. Not really. I guess not.” She looked at Kate and chewed her bottom lip. “We could practice on each other.”
Every nerve in Kate’s body tensed. “What” — she swallowed — “what do you mean?”
“Well, we could, you know, try it out on each other. We could work out the best way to do it, and then we’d know how without having to kiss guys we didn’t like.”
“Oh.” Kate was having trouble formulating words.
“I think it’s a great idea,” Ashley was saying, bouncing into a sitting position beside Kate. “Want to try?”
“Y
ou mean now?”
“Why not?”
Kate looked around. “Well…”
“No one can see us and your aunt’s probably well asleep in front of the telly by now. Besides, we’d hear her coming down the hallway if she did wake up.”
Kate swallowed.
“It’s perfect. Wouldn’t you rather kiss me than any of the boys in our class?”
Kate was hot all over. A million thoughts and sensations skittered about inside her.
“Okay?” Ashley persevered, but still Kate hesitated. And then Ashley sat up, leaned across, put her hand on Kate’s shoulder, and her lips touched Kate’s.
They felt soft and sweet, and Kate’s heart beat madly in her chest.
Ashley drew back, and Kate had to stop herself from following her, desperately not wanting the kiss to end.
“Okay?” Ashley said again, softly this time, and Kate nodded.
And then Ashley kissed her again. This time her soft lips opened a little and her tongue tip traced the outline of Kate’s mouth. Kate moaned softly, her stomach turning to water. She moved closer, her young breasts tingling where they touched Ashley’s. And suddenly their arms were around each other. Ashley’s tongue was inside Kate’s mouth, and Kate was beyond reason, way beyond rationality.
When Ashley pulled away, they were both breathless. Their eyes met and held, and Kate was sure the earth rocked crazily on its axis.
“That was—” Ashley began and swallowed. “That wasn’t anything like kissing T. J.,” she said unevenly.
Kate’s heart sank. Hadn’t Ashley liked it? Did that mean she didn’t want to repeat it? Kate wanted to go on kissing Ashley forever.
“Can we do that again?” Ashley asked softly, and eagerly Kate leaned forward.
This time she kissed Ashley, moved into her arms, and held her close. It was a long time before they sat apart.
Ashley picked up Kate’s hand, held it lightly in hers. “You know, I’ve wanted to do that for the longest time.”
“You have? Well, why didn’t you? Before, I mean.”
“I thought you might think it was, you know, gross or something.”
“No. It was wonderful.”
And it had been wonderful. Kate could still burn from the memory of that kiss. She gazed at Ashley’s face in the photograph, and a tear ran down her cheek.
