This Messy Magnificent Life
Page 14
3. Throughout This Messy Magnificent Life Roth stresses the importance of attention, where we direct our attention and how it affects our awareness of ourselves. Discuss the divisions between “you” and what you pay attention to.
4. Roth repeats “There is no away” (38) to herself as she recovers from a fractured vertebrae to remind herself that she and her body are indivisible. Do you find yourselves using an “away” in your own lives? Discuss how this might be disserving you.
5. Why do we often focus on a future that we put ourselves “on hold for” (49)? What are the benefits and disadvantages of that?
6. What does it mean to “muster equal parts kindness and fierceness” (84) and why is it important to do so?
7. Is it possible to know who we “are at the deepest level” (125)? Why or why not?
8. On page 106, Roth says, “Joy takes realizing what separates us from it and challenging our familiar stories” (106). What are some of the familiar stories you tell yourselves? How do they separate you from joy?
9. Roth describes “songs” (137) that play in her mind when circumstances trigger negative feelings, painful memories, or past selves that she wishes to leave behind. Why can’t these songs be deleted? What songs play in your mind? What are some ways to cope with our own personal songs?
10. If you stopped complaining for a time, as Roth did (148), would you notice a difference? Would those around you notice a difference? What might take up the space left by not complaining?
11. How do we miss “showing up for this messy magnificent life” (196)? How do we start showing up? What does that look like?
12. Discuss as a group which touchstones (197) have the most resonance for you personally and why. Which touchstones do you think you might carry with you?
Enhance Your Book Club
1. Try the red string exercise from pages 52 to 61. Discuss as a group where your boundaries are, both mentally and physically, and where you would like them to be.
2. On page 126, Roth quotes author Annie Dillard: “The way you spend your days is the way you spend your life.” Read Dillard’s Pilgrim at Tinker Creek and discuss the way she spends her days as well as the power of observation. Try paying close attention to your own experiences for a day and then write about them.
3. Make a “messy” and “magnificent” collage that reflects your life and share it with your group. What does messy and magnificent look like for different people? What might these differences convey?
About the Author
© CARL STUDNA
Geneen Roth is the author of ten books, including the New York Times bestsellers When Food Is Love, Lost and Found, and Women Food and God, as well as The Craggy Hole in My Heart and the Cat Who Fixed It. She has been speaking, teaching workshops, and offering retreats for more than thirty years and has appeared on numerous national shows, including The Oprah Winfrey Show, 20/20, the Today show, Good Morning America, and The View. She lives in Northern California with charms of hummingbirds; her husband, Matt; and Izzy, the fabulous, eating-disordered dog. For more information about her work, please visit GeneenRoth.com.
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PREVIOUS BOOKS BY GENEEN ROTH
Lost and Found
Women Food and God
When Food Is Love
The Craggy Hole in My Heart and the Cat Who Fixed It
Breaking Free from Emotional Eating
Feeding the Hungry Heart
When You Eat at the Refrigerator, Pull Up a Chair
Appetites
Why Weight?
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ISBN 978-1-5011-8246-4
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