In Her Boss's Special Care

by MELANIE MILBURNE

  The detective frowned. ‘I’ll have the records correlated immediately. There might be some link between Fowler and Mrs Lowe. I’ll get our people onto it straight away.’

  Allegra went back to Kate’s cubicle and immediately organised for her to be transferred to Tommy’s bedside. The police guard accompanied them but he kept at a discreet distance.

  Kate’s face crumpled when she saw her little boy lying hooked up to the ventilator and monitors, his little chest rising and falling mechanically.

  Allegra touched her on the arm. ‘Don’t let the machines upset you. You were on exactly the same ones and here you are awake and getting better by the minute.’

  ‘But what if he doesn’t get better?’ Kate turned her agonised face to Allegra. ‘Brain injury is serious in anyone, more so in a child. What if he’s…permanently damaged?’

  Allegra tried to offer the best possible hope. ‘We are still not sure how severe his head injury is. We’ve run some tests, which at this stage are inconclusive.’

  ‘This is all my fault…’ Kate said brokenly.

  ‘No, that’s not true,’ Allegra insisted. ‘You didn’t do anything to deliberately harm Tommy.’

  ‘If only I could remember…’ Kate began pulling at her hair as if it was in the way of her memory.

  Allegra looked in horror at the clump of hair that came away from the woman’s head. ‘Kate, please, don’t torture yourself like this. Tommy needs you to be strong right now.’ She took Kate’s hands in hers and began to massage them. ‘I need you to help me get through to Tommy. I know you can’t remember anything about the day of the accident, but can you tell me about Tommy’s favourite things? His father told me he loves the Harry Potter movies and books and I’ve had the DVDs running almost constantly, but what about something else? Can you think of anything that he loves more than anything in the world?’

  Kate’s face brightened with a glimmer of hope. ‘He has a teddy bear. He’s had him since he was a baby. It’s got a little key in the back that when you wind it up it plays “London Bridge is Falling Down.” He never goes anywhere without it. He sleeps with it every night.’

  ‘Have you any idea where is the bear now?’

  ‘I don’t know…We took it to the chalet but if we left in the car it might have been with us…’

  And lying at the bottom of the river, Allegra thought with a sinking feeling. ‘I’ll chase it up with the police and SES,’ she said. ‘They usually remove all personal items and return them to the owners.’

  ‘Dr Tallis,’ Kate appealed to her with her big soulful hazel eyes. ‘I read of a case not that long ago of a girl in a coma. She was declared brain dead and the machines that were keeping her alive were switched off. That won’t happen to Tommy, will it?’

  Allegra had never felt so out of her depth in her life. ‘Kate.’ She took the woman’s hands in hers once more. ‘I promise you that I will do everything in my power to prevent that happening.’

  ‘I don’t care if it turns out that he’s…damaged,’ Kate said. ‘I just want him alive. He’s my son…my only baby. I will look after him, no matter what. That’s what being a mother is all about. He’s all I live for.’

  Allegra stood back as the orderlies helped to transfer Kate back to her room. Once she was settled, Allegra left to call the SES team that had retrieved Kate’s vehicle. As luck would have it, they had found the teddy bear and the man she spoke to was planning to come to Melbourne for a social event and promised to deliver it personally to the hospital.

  The next call Allegra made was to Joel, but she got his answering service on both his home number and his mobile. She left a brief message but as the hours dragged by she ached to see him in person, partly for her own reasons but also to talk about the developments the police had discussed with her.

  By sheer chance she ran into Tim Lockerby from the cardiac unit who she knew was looking after Joel’s father.

  ‘Tim? Do you happen to know Joel Addison’s parents’ home address? I need to see him about something and he’s not answering either of his phones.’

  ‘It will be on Mr Addison’s file. I’ll get the ward clerk to give it to you. I heard you’ve been dating Joel.’

  She frowned. ‘Who told you that?’

  ‘His father did,’ Tim answered, with a glinting smile. ‘He was right chuffed about it. Said it was the first time in years his son had been so taken with a woman.’

  ‘I can’t imagine Joel Addison announcing to all and sundry that I was the woman of his dreams,’ she said with a cynical twist of her mouth.

  ‘He didn’t,’ Tim said. ‘His father figured it out for himself, as did the rest of the staff in CCU. As soon as Joel mentioned he’d had a workplace massage by a gorgeous woman, it was easy to do the numbers and come up with you.’

  ‘He said I was gorgeous?’ She gaped at him incredulously.

  ‘Don’t you have mirrors at your place?’ Tim teased. ‘If I wasn’t already married to a beautiful woman, I’d be requesting a workplace massage myself. Joel is a great guy, Allegra. You deserve to have a social life. You work too hard as it is.’

  ‘I know. It’s getting to me, believe me,’ she said with a rueful look.

  ‘Take care of yourself,’ he said. ‘You’ve had a tough time recently. Don’t go working yourself into a breakdown.’

  ‘I’m fine, Tim, but thanks for being concerned. I’ll just get that address and another fourteen-hour day will be over.’

  Tim grinned. ‘And another will appear tomorrow morning.’

  ‘Don’t remind me,’ she growled, and made her way to the ward clerk’s desk.

  The drive out to Box Hill was interrupted by heavy traffic due to roadworks. The heat of the evening was stifling in spite of her car’s air-conditioning. She pulled up in front of a modest single-storey house in a quiet leafy street, turned off the engine and took a minute to look around at the house Joel had spent his childhood in.

  She wasn’t sure what she’d been expecting but somehow she couldn’t help thinking the slightly run-down appearance of the house and garden didn’t sit all that well with Joel’s position as a highly qualified doctor. But then she remembered his car. It, too, was modest, nothing like some of the flashy sports cars that littered the hospital car park.

  She made her way up the concrete path, glancing down at the ramp that led to the front door. She pressed the bell and after a short wait the door opened and a small woman with salt-and-pepper hair and a tired face looked up at her with a tentative smile. ‘Hello? Can I help you?’

  ‘Mrs Addison?’ Allegra offered her hand. ‘I’m Allegra Tallis, a doctor at Melbourne Memorial.’

  The woman’s face seemed to almost collapse in dread. ‘This isn’t about Garry, is it?’ she asked. ‘He’s all right, isn’t he? I’m just on my way to visit him. Don’t tell me something’s gone wrong before I could get there to be with him.’

  ‘No, nothing like that. Mr Addison is doing very well. I was talking to his cardiologist not long ago,’ Allegra quickly reassured her. ‘I’m here to see your son, actually.’

  The relief on Joel’s mother’s face completely transformed her features. She placed a thin hand on her chest as if to settle the flutter of her heart. ‘Oh, thank God. You had me worried there for a moment. But I’m afraid Joel’s not here right now. He’s out with his brother, but I’m sure they won’t be too long. They went to the park but should be back soon. You can wait here or, if you like, you could go and meet them there. I have to dash. I haven’t had a chance to take my husband’s toiletries in to him yet.’

  ‘A walk in the park sounds wonderful,’ Allegra said, feeling uncomfortable about waiting in Joel’s family home alone.

  ‘It’s just at the end of the street,’ Mrs Addison said. ‘It was nice meeting you. I hope you’ll come again when things aren’t so…so stressful.’

  ‘I’d like that,’ Allegra said with complete sincerity. She felt a warmth coming off Joel’s mother that somehow reminded her of
her own mother.

  The pavement was hot under her feet as she walked to where the park was situated. She could see a group of teenage boys kicking a football about and secretly admired their energy in the cloying heaviness of the humidity that suggested a storm was imminent. Perspiration was already plastering her thin cotton blouse to her back and the tops of her thighs were sticking together uncomfortably.

  She followed the path for a bit longer until she saw the unmistakable figure of Joel in the distance. He was pushing a wheelchair, and as he came closer she could see the identical image of him sitting slumped in the chair.

  She stood stock still as if suddenly frozen, shock widening her eyes as Joel stopped in front of her. She gave herself a rough mental shake and, shifting her gaze to his level, reached out a hand to Joel’s brother.

  ‘Hi, you must be Jared,’ she said with a smile. ‘I’m Allegra.’

  ‘He can’t hear you,’ Joel said.

  She looked up at Joel in astonishment at his curt, emotionless tone. She turned back to Jared and greeted him again, using sign language, but it was clear he had no understanding. He looked at her, his head wobbling as he tried to focus on her face, a smile momentarily appearing on his mouth.

  Allegra bent down and took Jared’s limp hand in hers and gave it a gentle squeeze. ‘Hi, Jared. I’m sorry you can’t hear me, but it’s nice to meet you.’

  Joel looked down at her squatting in front of his brother, his heart feeling as if it had someone had just put it in a vice. This was another first—no woman had ever greeted his twin as a real person before. This was usually the part where they would shrink back in horror, making some hastily murmured embarrassed comment about having something pressing to go to.

  He would never see them again.

  No one had ever bent down to Jared’s level and looked deeply into the eyes that were like his own and smiled at his brother with respect and compassion instead of pity.

  ‘He can’t understand a word you say,’ he said. ‘He’s intellectually disabled. He’s in a permanent vegetative state.’

  Allegra straightened to meet Joel’s eyes. ‘That doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve respect.’

  ‘He shouldn’t be alive.’

  She stared at him, open-mouthed. ‘How can you say that? He’s your brother! Your twin brother!’

  ‘He’s ruined my parents’ lives. My father wouldn’t be in hospital right now if it wasn’t for Jared. I know it’s not his fault, but every day of their life and mine has been tainted with the pain and grief of looking after him twenty-four hours a day.’

  She applied the brake on the wheelchair and, taking Joel’s arm, led him a short distance from his brother. ‘Life is precious, Joel. Your limbs were wrapped around Jared’s in your mother’s womb for nine months. How can you possibly wish he wasn’t alive?’

  ‘Don’t misunderstand me, Allegra. I love my brother but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s no picnic being responsible for him. I’ve lived with it all my life, knowing that sooner or later the responsibility was going to be handed to me when it became too much for my parents.’

  Allegra stared at the moisture glistening in his eyes, her heart aching for what he must have suffered as a child, seeing his brother, the image of him, locked in a body and mind that was surely one of the worst of all human tragedies—permanent and totally devastating disability.

  She stepped forward and placed her hand on Joel’s arm. ‘Why don’t you go and have a long walk or have a coffee somewhere while I take over with Jared? It seems like you could do with a break. You’ve had so much to deal with, you look exhausted.’

  ‘You’ll never be able to manage him. None of your fairy-dust theories are going to work, no matter how hard you try.’

  ‘Please, Joel,’ she insisted, trying not to be put off by his hardened tone, recognising how he must hate showing his vulnerability in such a raw way. ‘Give me the keys to the house and I’ll sit with your brother for a couple of hours.’

  He handed her the keys, turned on his heel and walked away without a backward glance. She watched him for a moment or two before Jared began to rock back and forth in his chair in frustration.

  ‘Sorry about that, Jared,’ she said, bending down to release the brake before straightening to run her fingers through his thick dark hair that so reminded her of Joel’s. ‘Your brother needs a break.’

  Jared rocked again, one of his hands flying upwards to hit her in a glancing blow on her cheek. She couldn’t escape it in time and knew it would give her a spectacular bruise, but as she wheeled his chair back along the path, she reminded herself it was nothing compared to what Joel had done to her heart.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  ALLEGRA had seriously underestimated the level of care Joel’s brother required. No sooner had she entered the house than he began to wail in distress, his arms flailing about until she had to make a conscious effort to duck out of their way. She considered lifting him out of his chair but while he had nothing of the muscled bulk of Joel, he was still at least twice her weight.

  She made him a cool drink and after a few attempts, which involved a change of bib, she managed to get some into his mouth. His gulping swallows tore at her heart, his eyes rolling about as he tried to grasp at her with his twisted hands.

  She hunted through the refrigerator for some semblance of a meal, and chatted to him all the while as she made an omelette with softly steamed vegetables, presuming his brain damage made it difficult for him to chew normal food.

  She was right, for even though she had prepared a mushy meal, most of it ended up on his chest or on the floor. She reassured herself that his hunger must have been satisfied because he seemed to be content for a while, sitting in his chair, looking at her with vacant eyes.

  ‘I’m in love with your brother,’ she said into the silence. ‘I think you should know that.’

  ‘Meeting you has answered so many of my questions,’ she went on. ‘He is terrified of someone ending up with what you have to deal with. I can see that now. This isn’t easy for you, is it, Jared? It’s not easy for your parents and Joel. I have been so focused on my own goals I haven’t considered the other side.’ She let out a little sigh and continued, ‘I have this little boy in ICTU. His scans show he’s brain dead. I guess that’s a term that your family is pretty familiar with, although clearly your brain still functions in some areas but not enough to give you the sort of life you deserve. Tommy is a little boy of seven. I guess I hadn’t ever considered he could end up living the life you are now forced to live. But your parents love you, so does your brother, otherwise he wouldn’t have given up so much to be here with you so your mum could visit your dad.’

  Jared’s head drooped to one side. Allegra sighed as she got wearily to her feet and turned his chair to look for his bedroom.

  If feeding him had been one of her biggest challenges, preparing him for bed surpassed it in spades. He was totally incontinent, which meant she had to deal with the change of a soiled nappy while he protested, his contorted limbs flying about until she was close to tears.

  Finally she did what had to be done and dragged him towards the mattress on the floor that was his bed. He fought her for a while but she turned him over onto his stomach and began to massage his tight legs, working her way up from his feet until she got to his lower back. His breathing became relaxed and he gradually drifted off to sleep.

  She covered him with a light cotton sheet and sat back on her heels and began to cry, softly and brokenly, her heart breaking for what Joel and his parents had endured for so long.

  Joel found her there a short time later, her face pink, her eyes red and swollen as she turned to face him.

  He gestured for her to leave the room in case his brother woke up and she followed him with dogged steps, her shoulders at an all-time low.

  He took her in his arms, burying his head in her fragrant hair as she sobbed against him.

  ‘I’m so sorry…’ she choked. ‘I had no idea…�
��

  ‘Most people don’t.’

  ‘I can understand why you’re so against my project…’

  He hugged her close. ‘I wish it could work, Allegra. I would give anything for my brother to have even a fraction of the life I have. I feel guilty that it’s him, not me. I’ve carried that all of my life.’

  She eased herself away from him to look up at him. ‘What happened?’

  ‘Bacterial meningitis. I was born first. Jared’s delivery was delayed. By the time he was born, meningitis had taken hold and fried his brain.’ He gave her a rueful grimace. ‘If he had been first, I would have been the person you would have spent the last couple of hours with, spoon-feeding.’

  Allegra felt his pain as if it were her own. ‘I would still have done it, and gladly.’

  He smiled down at her, although it was tinged with sadness. ‘You know something? I think you are the very first person I have ever felt I could have a relationship with. When you took Jared for the last couple of hours I suddenly realised how much I care for you. But I’m what is known as a package deal. My parents will not be able to cope with Jared’s care for much longer. There are limited spaces in care homes for people with his level of disability. There are issues to face.’

  ‘But if we face them together, the burden won’t be so heavy. I love you, Joel. I think you know that. I would do anything to help you deal with Jared if it means I can be a part of your life.’

  ‘But there is still an unresolved issue between us.’

  Allegra knew what was coming and it was now nowhere near as clear-cut as it had been a few short hours ago. ‘Kate Lowe regained consciousness earlier today,’ she said. ‘She remembers nothing of the accident but she is prepared to have Tommy in whatever state he is.’

  ‘She sounds just like my mother. My parents were advised to let Jared go but Mum wouldn’t hear of it. They’ve both had to deal with that decision ever since.’