Forever Altered

by D. J. Pierson

  Leah comes into the girls’ bedroom and slips her shoes off only to grab another pair from her closet. She starts throwing some clothes into a bag. “What are you doing?” Alyssa questions her.

  “I’m going to sleep at Ty’s since Mark isn’t there. He took Erin, Julia, and Tommy home for his friend’s party, remember? Since I haven’t seen my boyfriend in a few days, I figured I would take advantage of the situation.” Leah winks at me and I chuckle softly. Then she gets serious again when something occurs to her. “They better be at The Rock by their scheduled time tomorrow morning. I don’t care what they did tonight. They were warned.” Alyssa laughs at her. “I’ll be back to get you up in the morning,” she says kissing Alyssa on the cheek. Good thing Logan wasn’t here for that. “I know how much you love getting up early on Sundays, so I’ll make breakfast for you.”

  “Not too early. I haven’t had a good night sleep in days.” I frown because I know she hasn’t slept because I acted like an ass and made her worry.

  “I know, but everything is fine now, right?” Alyssa nods at her and Tyler goes to pick up Leah’s bag. “Good night, Lyss. Thanks again for coming home with me. I really hate being alone at night in that house.” I’m glad I kept my mouth shut after hearing that.

  “Anytime. See you in the morning,” Alyssa says as they go to leave.

  “Good night, Rocco. Don’t forget your painting duties,” she adds.

  “I’m looking forward to it,” I say.

  Tyler reaches over to shake my hand. “She will hunt you down if you aren’t there. Just saying.” We laugh.

  “Ty, are you seriously trying to ruin your chances of getting laid for the next month?” We laugh harder. Well, Alyssa and I do anyway.

  When the door to the apartment closes, she is instantly at my side. “You have as long as it takes me to change and brush my teeth before you are talking to me about whatever was wrong,” she warns. My eyes close and I feel myself taking a deep breath as she walks away. “Rocco,” she calls me softly. The way my name sounds coming from her makes my heart do some crazy shit. When I look at her she asks, “Will you please stay with me, tonight?”

  “Sunshine, I’m trying to figure out how to stay with you every night.” It gets me that beautiful smile of hers before she goes into the bathroom. I’m not sure if she wants to talk in here or the living room, but I get her bed ready for her anyway. Only for a minute do I think about the fact that no one will be here for the rest of the night and what we could be doing instead of talking. I don’t want our first time to have any bad memories attached to it. After the last few nights and my almost blow out with Ryan, tonight is not the night for it. I’ll stick with my original plan of waiting until after the charity dinner next weekend.

  When Alyssa finally comes out of the bathroom, she looks just as comfortable as I feel being in her room. She goes out into the living room locking up and turning all of the lights off. Before she comes back in the room she calls out asking if I need anything. The only thing I really need right now is to get this talk over with, but I don’t tell her that. She returns to her room with a couple bottles of water.

  Since I’m already sitting on her bed with my back up against the wall, Alyssa crawls up next to me and curls into my side. It’s still hard to wrap my head around just how wonderful holding her feels and how as soon as her body comes in contact with mine I feel complete. Then, out of nowhere, realization sets in. The guys were right. There is no one that I have ever wanted or will ever want more than her. There isn’t anywhere I’d rather be other than wherever she is. The only way I am happy is if she is happy. She makes me feel like the earth is finally spinning again simply because she is in my life. Protecting her from anyone who is a threat is now my job. How could I not have seen this before? I am totally and completely in love with her. It’s almost as though I only exist for her.

  “So, are you going to tell me what was going on the last few nights?” Her question breaks through my euphoric moment. We have to get through this before I can tell her what I’ve finally figured out. The fear she may not feel the same way about me shocks me for a second, but it really doesn’t matter. I still love her and I always will.

  “My dad’s birthday was yesterday,” is all I need to say.

  She backs away and turns to face me. “Why didn’t you tell me?” The absence of her against me is a little painful, so I reach for her and bring her back to me.

  “I didn’t want you to have to choose between staying here with me and going with Leah. You would have been torn and I didn’t want you to feel bad with either decision you made.”

  “I would have figured something out, Rocco. You are so sweet to worry about me over yourself and I really do appreciate that. You want to be there for me and do everything that you think I need. You have to let me do that for you, too. I want to be able to do that for you. You are part of my life now just as much as Leah is, if not more. Whenever you need me, I will be there for you. I promise.” If I wasn’t in love with her a few minutes ago, I would have been now anyway.

  “I’m so sorry that I acted like such an ass to you and for not telling you.” The issue with Vicki crosses my mind, but I push it out. I should really tell her, but it’s not the right time.

  “I’ve already forgiven you, but don’t do it again, Matthews. Seriously. I’ll kick your ass next time.”

  “There won’t be a next time. I promise.”

  For the next hour, we lay in her bed talking and laughing. The things we talk about are completely random. Our favorite elementary school teachers. Worst movie ever made. Places we’d like to travel to someday. Television shows we watched as kids. We even bickered about baseball. Being with her this way only confirms what I discovered a little earlier tonight. It occurs to me that it doesn’t matter if she doesn’t say it back. I want to tell her. I need her to know how she makes me feel.

  When she settles in next to me, I know it won’t be long before she falls asleep. If I want to tell her tonight, it has to be now and I feel like nothing that comes out of my mouth could properly explain my feelings for her. “I don’t know how you managed to do it.” I am thinking out loud. That isn’t what I meant to say.

  “Managed what?” she asks snuggling into me.

  There’s no going back now. I need to answer her truthfully. “I don’t know how you managed to make me fall in love with you.”

  I feel her immediately tense up next to me. She doesn’t move when she speaks. “You’re in love with me?”

  I take a deep breath before answering her. Her reaction is starting to freak me out. “I am.”

  She lifts herself off of my chest and peeks up at me with the most adorable look I’ve ever seen on her face. When she blinks, a tear rolls down her cheek. Instinctively, I wipe it from her face with my thumb. “That’s good to know since I’ve fallen in love with you, too.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Alyssa

  This past week has been one of the greatest of my life. Last Friday when I heard Rocco’s broken voice on the phone and felt the worst pain in my chest from worry, I knew without a doubt that I was in love with him. There was nothing I wanted more than to take the pain away, even if I had to bear it myself. That’s not something you would do for just anyone. It doesn’t matter that we haven’t known each other very long. The feelings I have because of him, for him, are all the proof I will ever need. I was irrefutably put on this earth for the sole purpose of loving Rocco. Everything I have gone through up until now was just to prepare me for a life with someone who loves me as much as he does.

  We’ve spent just about every possible minute together since Saturday when Rocco told me that he loved me. Waking up to him sleeping beside me Sunday morning was something I won’t soon forget. While I lay there watching him sleep, the only thought that crossed my mind was wanting this to be an everyday occurrence. Every night since then, he stayed with me until after I fell sound asleep with the exception of Wednesday night when I slept over at his apar
tment. I had only gone over to watch a movie after class with him and the guys except when it was over, he wouldn’t let me leave. Not that I put up much of an argument. We ate most meals together. Sometimes we ate here at school and we went out a couple of times, too. He’d walk me to class if he could. My roommates don’t mind him being around, either. Thank goodness for that because I really do like our apartment much better than his.

  I’ve been stuck in this chair for over an hour now while Leah plays with my hair and finishes up my makeup. There is no reason I couldn’t do these things by myself other than she insisted. To be honest, I’m actually so nervous to go to this dinner tonight that I’m overly grateful to her for helping me. Rocco has been reassuring me how it’s really no big deal, but meeting his mother is definitely a big deal to me. Well, there’s that and the fact that the heels Leah insisted I buy to go with the dress she picked out are literally a deathtrap. Whoever invented heels should be shot.

  “Hold still, Lyss. I’m almost done,” Leah says pinning the last piece of my hair in place. She left most of it down, but pinned up the sides so they weren’t touching my face. My best friend knows me well enough to assume I will constantly be pushing it away. It drives her nuts when I do it. “There. You are done,” she exclaims. “And absolutely beautiful I might add.” She is looking over me into the mirror she had me sit in front of so I could watch her.

  “You are the best roommate ever!” I tell her.

  “I know,” she smiles at me. “Now go get the dress on. Rocco will be here to get you soon. I don’t want him seeing you until my masterpiece is complete.”

  “Are you sure this dress is appropriate to wear? I’ve never been to anything like this.” Nerves are starting to get the best of me, again. We must have had the dress talk about twenty times in the last week. Leah swore it was perfect, but I’m unsure now that it’s time to put it on.

  “Alyssa Adler, so help me, if Rocco walks in here and you aren’t ready…” she starts.

  Holding up my hands in surrender and grabbing the dress from my closet, I run into the bathroom before she loses it. I pull it on quickly and carefully not to mess up my hair or my makeup. Having to fix me would really set Leah off. The dress is actually very pretty. It is a dark charcoal gray and it’s just loose enough to give me room to move, but tight enough to show way more than I am used to. It is a bandage style dress, with sheer lace capped sleeves. The back is mostly open and there is a touch of sequin accents which give it just a hint of sparkle in the right light. I find myself twisting and turning to look in the mirror the way Leah does. A soft knock on the door startles me.

  “Almost ready, Sunshine?” Just the sound of his voice makes my heart beat faster.

  “Be out in a sec,” I yell through the door sliding my feet in my entirely too high black heels. Luckily, I don’t stumble when I walk to the door. One more glance down at myself and I think how nice my tattoo looks in these shoes. Shame I won’t be wearing them again.

  When I open the door, Leah, Erin, and Julia are standing there. “I need to make sure you look perfect first,” Leah informs me. “Spin around.” I do as instructed and by the time I’m facing her again, Leah has a huge smile on her face. “Marvelous! Okay, Rocco. She’s all yours. Just don’t mess her up until after you leave the dinner,” she warns.

  “How the hell could I mess her up?” he asks her confused walking into my room as I step out of the bathroom. When he sees me, he stops dead in his tracks with his mouth slightly hanging open in the midst of talking. I cannot help but notice how handsome he is dressed up. He is wearing black pants and a black dress shirt with a blue tie so dark and shiny it almost looks black. The suit jacket he had slung over his shoulder is now practically hanging by his fingertips almost to the floor.

  “Do I look that bad?” I ask suddenly worried he doesn’t like the dress.

  “Bad is not even close to what I’m thinking, Sunshine,” he manages to get out. “You are absolutely stunning,” he says after a long pause. Instantly, I feel relieved as he comes over reaching out for my hand. He pulls it up to his lips kissing it and leans down to kiss my cheek.

  “Don’t you dare mess up her makeup, Matthews! I will seriously kick your ass!” Leah threatens. Her attention is drawn to the kitchen where there is a knock at the door. The sound of a few voices reaches us.

  “Let me see. Let me see,” Paige is calling as she comes in my room. “So beautiful!” she squeals.

  “Holy shit!” Shane blurts out from behind Paige making us all look up at him. Rocco’s look is a little more intimidating than ours, though. Erin and Julia are sitting on Leah’s bed trying to hide their giggling. “Damn Rocco. You’re going to be busy fighting them off tonight, man.” Troy hits him in the back of the head. “What? Do you really think I’m the only one who is going to notice how hot she is? I get that you are in love with Paige and everything, but even you have to see it.”

  “No. You are just the only dumb ass to say it out loud,” Troy says to him. Paige snickers beside him.

  Rocco brings his attention back to me. “I got you something,” he announces pulling a box out of his jacket pocket. He holds out a long, rectangular light blue box with a white ribbon wrapped around it. There is only one place that can be from and I own absolutely nothing from there. I look up at him completely shocked and he nods for me to take it. Slowly, my hand reaches out and he places the box inside of it. Slowly, I open the box to see a beautiful platinum diamond heart necklace staring back at me.

  My eyes do not wander from the overly expensive gift Rocco has given me. “Rocco, I cannot…”

  “Sunshine,” he interrupts before I can say anything else. “Please don’t tell me you aren’t going to accept it. It literally took me hours to figure out which one to buy for you.” He takes the box back from me and removes the necklace before placing it around my neck. We are staring at it in the mirror. “It doesn’t shine nearly as bright as you, but it is still beautiful,” he whispers.

  “It is. Thank you, so much. I love it!” I turn around and throw my arms around him. “I love you,” I tell him before kissing him.

  “Oh. My. Goodness! What the hell did I just say to you two about the makeup?” Leah shouts.

  “Let’s go before I get in any more trouble,” Rocco chuckles. “Do you have a bag ready for tonight?” He asked me to stay overnight at his house tonight and have brunch with his mom and stepfather tomorrow.

  “Yup. It’s over on my bed.” He goes over to grab my bag and his jacket he had draped over my desk chair.

  “I already pulled my car up to the door right outside.” He’s holding his arm out for me to hold onto which I graciously accept.

  “Please don’t let me break my neck in these things.” Leah is grumbling behind me. She thinks all girls are born knowing how to walk in heels.

  “I would never let you fall.”

  Leah is handing me her clutch purse which I’m sure she stocked with all of the makeup she just used on me. I have no plans of actually using any more of it, but it’s best to keep that thought to myself. She pulls me in for a hug. “Have a great time.” Then she whispers our usual, “Don’t do anything that I wouldn’t do.” I’m sure my face turned a light shade of red since everyone is standing around us.

  We leave right after another round goodbyes. I mean, seriously, we aren’t getting married. The sendoff is very unnecessary, but I know it’s only because they love me. Rocco maneuvers me down the steps outside of the building without incident. Once we are on the highway a few miles from school, I notice the frown on his face.

  “What’s wrong?” We haven’t even been gone for ten minutes.

  “Shane’s right, you know?” He hasn’t let go of my hand since we got in the car.

  “About?” Am I really going to have to pry this out of him?

  “You look really hot,” he says with a wink. “Those bastards will be all over you.”

  “You have nothing to worry about,” I encourage him even though the
idea is absurd.

  “No? Why not?”

  “Because I’m only going home with you. More importantly, I’m only in love with you.”

  This gets me his biggest, brightest grin. “Yeah you are.” I cannot help but giggle. He’s so cute when he thinks it could even be possible for me to love someone other than him. He really has no idea what he’s done to me.

  The rest of the ride goes by fairly quickly. We have both relaxed from any earlier anxiety. I’m actually feeling a little excited to meet his mom now. He is telling me about some of the other people who will be there and who he would like to introduce me to. I mention how I’ve been wondering if he would be interested in coming home with me to meet my dad and Jill one weekend before the wedding. He seems thrilled about the idea, but only after asking for close to the millionth time if my dad is really alright with me getting the tattoo.

  A little tension sets in when we pull into the driveway for the country club. I know I don’t belong in a place like this. My hand automatically goes to the necklace around my neck. Will these people think I am only with Rocco because of his family’s money?

  He pulls to a stop and gets out handing the valet his key. “Take care of her for me okay?” I see him pat the guy on the back.

  “Of course, Mr. Matthews.” They know him by name. Why am I surprised?

  My door pops open and I hear Rocco tell the guy that he’s got it. He reaches for me. “This is my job,” he winks at me pulling me into his arms. Then he whispers in my ear, “Whatever you are thinking, please stop. These people aren’t the rich snobs you are thinking they are. I promise. Unfortunately, they are all going to love you,” he sighs. As long as he has ahold of me I feel so much better. He leads inside.

  The building and the landscape are exquisite. When I tell Rocco what I think, he just shakes his head. “It’s just a building with overly expensive shit thrown around in random places. It’s no big deal.” He takes me into the large ballroom greeting people along the way. There are pictures of many fallen officers set up on the table at the entryway. Some of them are from years ago. My attention is drawn to the beautiful woman heading our way. She is fairly tall, maybe a little shorter than Rocco. Her hair is pulled up into a fancy up do and a very dark brown. Once she’s closer, I can see her eyes are the exact same shade of blue that I have grown to adore seeing every day. “There she is. The most beautiful woman in the room,” Rocco declares when she has reached us. She immediately hugs him and kisses him on the cheek, but he never lets his hold on me falter.