Loving Lies

by Tina Donahue

  “You best remove them from me first.”

  She did, daintily lifting the animals by one ear before tossing them aside. Diego ran to his kills but didn’t eat them. He merely sniffed the carcasses and pushed them with his narrow snout.

  Isabella kept glancing around.

  Fernando did, too, seeing nothing untoward. “What are you looking for?”

  “The best place to cook your rabbits.”

  “Skin them first, I beg of you.”

  She shivered. “Do I have to remove the heads and feet?”

  He pulled his dagger from its scabbard and slapped its hilt in her palm. “Sí, along with their entrails.”

  She grimaced.

  “First, though, you should build a fire.”

  Her shoulders sagged. “Using what?”

  “My dagger and sword would do.”

  She looked from one weapon to the other. He suppressed a smile at her confusion. “Striking metal against metal produces sparks that flame when directed to dry grain or dead leaves.”

  She nodded. “Give me your sword.”

  He did not. “You can also use this.” He pulled a piece of flint from his coin pouch and tossed it to her. “Strike the dagger against the stone to produce a spark.”

  She struck metal against flint, her eyes widening in delight at the result.

  “Isabella, take care.” He bent his legs before the sparks she’d produced set fire to his hose. “Use dry leaves and sticks to build your blaze, not me.”

  Once she’d gathered enough material, Fernando’s eyes were again gritty with sleep. He stifled a yawn. “Do you want me to build the fire?”

  “See to your rest.”

  “I am not fatigued.” He’d open his eyes in a minute.

  “As you say, my lord.”

  * * * *

  He said nothing more as Isabella struggled with the fire. When she finally got the sparks to catch, she placed stones around the flames to protect them from the hot breeze.

  Wisps of hair clung to her sweaty cheeks. After pushing the strands away, she rested the dagger’s tip on the first rabbit’s belly, feeling the need to apologize. “I beg of you, please forgive me for this.” The moment she stopped slicing and shivering, she tossed the entrails aside.

  Diego ate them with abandon.

  Another shudder tore through her. “I should scold you soundly, but I love you too much.”

  “What?” Fernando licked his lips. Sprawled on the ground, he had one arm draped over his eyes as he slept.

  Isabella leaned over him. His features were slack, his cautious mind and body at rest. She touched his cheek and ran her fingertips over the curve of his ear.

  He squirmed as if she were tickling him.

  Tenderness washed over her as never before, not even for her beloved parents or sisters. Until she’d met Fernando, Isabella had never known what it was to feel passion for a man. She’d been curious about the physical aspect, of course. Her papá had been aghast when he learned she’d spied on her male cousins as they pleasured themselves. She heard him telling her mamá he might not be able to find a suitable husband for her.

  She had worried the same. Her friends flirted, laughed shyly, and agreed endlessly with boys their age. Isabella could never bring herself to do so and had no idea why. She did now. The males in her circle of friends were boys, unworthy of her attention. Fernando was a man. He was hard yet fair. Commanding yet kind. If circumstances hadn’t brought him to her, she would never have known the difference. Perhaps it would have been better if she hadn’t. The more time they spent together, the more afraid she became of telling him the truth, not only because he’d be angry or would hate her. Her betrayal of his trust would wound him.

  Heartsick and shamed, she smoothed back his hair and wondered how many more hours they’d have together. Surely not enough. The day was half over and she had yet to think of a way to deter him from going to the castle and claiming Sancha. Worse, Isabella’s desire for him grew with each moment.

  Unable to help herself, she whispered, baring her heart. “Forgive me for my continuing deception, for I do so love you, my Fernando.”

  Chapter 8

  Uncertain what had roused him, Fernando opened his eyes. Isabella’s gaze was on the fire and then the dog as it watched the flames. The creature’s tail swayed to and fro, revealing its contentment.

  She also seemed at peace and born for the rigors of such rough travel. Her fiery hair was uncovered and damp, the same as her clothing, her ankle boots tossed to the side. She’d obviously bathed in the stream and washed her garments after building a fire. Given the pop and sizzle of fat, she was cooking the meal she’d promised him.

  Fernando was about to smile when he had a faint memory of something she’d said while he’d slept. He sensed its importance, which made it more elusive. Cursing himself for falling asleep, he closed his eyes to stir his memory. Before he could, Isabella touched his hand.

  “My lord, your meal awaits.”

  He turned to her and his heart caught. Such eyes she had. Their color was like nothing he’d ever seen, the same as her concern. She regarded him as one would a frail old man in dire need of food and sleep.

  How wrong she was.

  He brought her down to him and rolled them over until he was on top. He smiled at having proved he was still a formidable warrior.

  She stared. “What are you doing?”

  What did she think? “The food can wait.” He fitted his mouth to hers.

  She yielded immediately, her lips soft and wanting against his. A pleasured moan escaped the back of Fernando’s throat at her incredible warmth, the taste of her sweet mouth. Never had he known anything better. He slipped his hand beneath her damp shirt and covered her breast, pulling a wanton sigh from her. Her skin was still cool from the bath. He warmed her with his palm, working the supple globe beneath his fingers, pulling another sigh from her.

  Behind them, the galgo growled.

  After tearing his mouth free, Fernando glanced over both shoulders, alert to intruders.

  The galgo eyed Fernando and growled once more.

  “Quiet. My intent is to pleasure your mamá, not harm her.” He lowered his face to Isabella’s until their lips nearly touched. “Do you agree?”

  “I do.” Her breath brushed against him.

  He kissed her again, deep and long, stoking his desire to dangerous levels. Needing some measure of control, he finally eased back, though he refused to release her breast. Her lips parted on a quiet sigh. Again, he saw her passion and suddenly heard her words in his mind. Isabella saying she loved him.

  He stopped playing with her nipple.

  When he failed to continue, she stirred. “What is it?”

  Her words of love. Had she spoken them as he slept, or was he simply hoping for such a thing?

  “Fernando.” She cradled his face. “What troubles you?”

  Unable to answer truthfully, he changed the subject, as she always did with him. “Your hair.” He glanced at her tresses. “I told you to keep it covered.”

  “Not out here. Not as long as we remain alone.”

  He regarded her shirt. “You washed your garments.”

  “They were filthy. I was filthy.”

  “You bathed while I slept.”

  Her eyebrows lifted at his disapproval. “I ordered Diego to protect you.” She rested her hand on his chest. “And he did, as you came to no harm.”

  “You bathed without me. Denying me such pleasure is harm enough.”

  Before she could argue the point, he kissed her again with full possession to prove his claim on her. She responded with an urgency he’d never experienced with another woman. His shaft thickened even more, his sac tightening until it hurt. If not for his pledge, he would have taken her here, now. Growling with desire and too much frustration, he ended the kiss and lifted his head. Her skin was pink from his beard-roughened cheeks, lips puffy from his
ardor.

  Her lids fluttered open. Desire blurred her gaze, making him crave her even more.

  He ran his fingers down her cheek, lust straining every part of him. “You want me. I want you. We belong together and always will. I see no reason to wait for our coupling.”

  Her expression changed instantly, fear replacing desire.

  Confused and hurt, he withdrew his hand.

  She caught it and kissed his fingertips. “Fernando, please. I want nothing more.”

  “Yet you deny me, and only because of what others might say or think?”

  “I care what you think. If you were to hate me, I would…” Her voice caught. She shook her head, unable or unwilling to finish.

  He sighed, bewildered by her behavior. “Why would I hate you?”

  Again, she shook her head, drawing in her shoulders, obviously afraid.

  Of him? He wasn’t certain what to say or do. Unwilling to make matters worse he turned to the fire. “My meal awaits?”

  “Sí. Please allow me to feed you.”

  The rabbits would be a poor substitute for what he wanted. However, her pleading tone defeated him. His shoulders slumped. “After we eat, will you bathe with me?”

  Her smile was hesitant, her expression still sad. “I would be honored to do so.”

  Because she loved him, having said “my Fernando.” Or had she?

  Puzzled by what he thought he’d heard, he rolled off her and pushed himself to a sitting position.

  Isabella kept sneaking peeks at him as she returned to the fire. To Fernando’s surprise, she’d properly skinned and spitted the rabbits. Fat dripped from the baking flesh, feeding the flames, while insects covered what remained of the blood.

  “I prepared the meat as you would have, no?” she asked.

  “You did.”

  She smiled briefly, uncertainly. After removing the spits, she sliced the meat beneath Diego’s watchful gaze. The dog kept sniffing the fare and whining for a taste.

  Isabella kissed his snout, instead. “After Papá has his fill, what remains belongs to you.”

  “What about you?”

  She shrugged. “I had my fill of the cheese and bread you purchased at the venta.”

  “Your growling belly says otherwise and hardly believes what you claim.” Fernando settled her onto his lap until she was straddling him. He welcomed her weight and warmth, his shaft growing hard in response. She must have felt its width and rigidity, because she stopped adjusting herself. He took his dagger from her, speared a slice of meat, and brought it to her lips. “Eat.”

  She didn’t. “You fear my cooking? You need me to taste the rabbit first?”

  He wrapped her hair around his free hand and eased back her head. With her throat exposed, he lowered his mouth to her succulent flesh. Her skin’s faint saltiness, its marvelous scent, had him grunting in delight.

  She whimpered.

  He ran his tongue along a vein in her pale throat, tracing its origins to her jaw before trailing kisses to her ear. “Perhaps I want you to taste the food first as I fear you drugged it. The same as you worried I drugged yours.”

  She stopped stroking his chest.

  Surprised at her reaction to his teasing, he eased back. Embarrassment flooded her lovely features. He didn’t understand. “What is it?”

  “When you offered the orange I had no idea you were truly Don Fernando.”

  “From the moment I saw you in the marketplace I had no question as to who you were.”

  She glanced away.

  His smile felt foolish. He chided himself for bringing up her abduction and gathered her in his arms. “Forgive me for reminding you of what happened in Granada.”

  “There is naught to forgive.”

  “Of course there is. Whatever happened before is forgotten. Tell me it is.”

  She nodded.

  She lied. Again, he’d brought up a subject he could see she wanted to forget. Rather than force the issue, he gave up, for the moment. “We best eat before the flies and dog decide the food belongs to them.”

  Isabella looked over. “Diego, no!”

  The galgo stopped sniffing the meat and backed away. The flies were another matter, buzzing as close as the remaining heat allowed.

  She turned to him. “Eat your fill and leave me what remains.”

  “Eat your fill as I eat mine.” He slipped the meat between his lips and brought the fare to her.

  Her face flushed with color and obvious desire as they ate until their mouths touched. After he’d chewed his half of the meat and swallowed, she ran her tongue over his lips, licking them clean.

  The world spun, not allowing him any control. His shaft ached, wanting inside of her. He was more frustrated than he’d ever been with any woman yet happier, too. “Gracias, Isabella.”

  Her smile was luminous. Their gazes locked as Fernando slipped the next slice between her lips. She leaned into him, teasing the seam of his mouth with the edge of the meat. They ate this piece and the rest in the same manner. As she licked the last of the juice off her lips, he suckled her throat and kissed the base of her neck.

  Diego whined. She looked over. “Forgive us for not leaving you any.”

  Fernando breathed in her fragrance one last time and turned to the dog. “Protect us as your mamá washes me.” Once he’d helped Isabella to her feet, he removed his clothing and tossed the garments to her.

  His shirt landed on the ground, his hose and braies on her right shoulder. Her attention remained on his rigid shaft.

  With weapons in hand, he padded to the stream.

  * * * *

  Isabella remained where she was. The sun caressed Fernando’s broad back, firm buttocks, and muscular legs. The sight of him made her weak. It also made her wonder. If matters had been different and they could know a lifetime together, would it always be this way when she saw him, or would she grow accustomed to his male beauty? Would her heart no longer catch when he returned to her from even a long absence? Would she awaken each morning without wanting the protection of his strong arms?

  She hoped not yet sensed his courage in rescuing her and their lack of a future together added a depth to her love that might not have been there otherwise. She would always cherish and desire Fernando. How she ached to lie with him, only she couldn’t. For the moment, he seemed to understand and was mindful of his pledge, though she worried how much longer his restraint and hers would last.

  He placed his weapons on the bank, straightened, and looked over. “What are you waiting for?”

  She kept her face down to hide her concern and sorrow. After picking up his shirt, she followed him, stopping at the edge of the stream.

  Already in the water, Fernando turned and flung out his arms. “Tend to me.”

  She wanted nothing more. His fully erect member and plump sac called to everything female within her. She dropped his shirt and braies then entered the stream, unmindful of how the water dampened her dried hose and stung her scraped knees. Face to face with him, she regarded his thickened shaft.

  “Tend to me.”

  “As you wish, my lord.”

  She dunked his hose in the water. Once the garment was sodden and cleaned of rabbit blood, she ran it over his muscular legs. Sun glittered off the pearls of water trapped in the short, dark hairs on his thighs until Isabella licked them away.

  * * * *

  She washed him with the hose and dried him with her tongue.

  His knees sagged. If he lived another hundred years, he’d never forget this moment. His skin tingled with the wet warmth of her mouth. When she gave her loving attention to his rigid shaft, he gasped. “Tend to me.”

  “With the greatest pleasure, my lord.”

  Of course. What else was there? “For you do so love me.”

  She stopped swirling her tongue over his crown.

  The astonishing pleasure faded too quickly, bringing him back to what he’d said. H
e looked at her. She’d already released him and straightened.

  His memory of her earlier words played in his mind. “For I do so love you, my Fernando.”

  Isabella paled.

  Her reaction told him more than any admission on her part. “I did hear those words as I slept. You were leaning over me when you said them.”

  “No.”

  “No?” He frowned. “I see the truth in your eyes.”

  She backed up. He advanced with both of them splashing the water. “Admit it.”

  “Admit what?”

  “What you said. Forgive me for my continuing deception for I—” Fernando stopped, realizing what he’d blurted, only now recalling everything she’d said as he’d slept. He frowned. “What deception?”

  She shook her head. “I know of no deception.”

  “You do. Answer me. What deception?”

  “Quit hounding me.”

  Diego snarled from the bank, his teeth bared, tail held straight, ready to tear Fernando apart to protect her.

  “Quiet.” Isabella frowned at the dog. “Papá means no harm.”

  “I am not his papá, and he is not your child.” Fernando grabbed her wrist before she could back away. “Surely you know the difference between a dog and a child. One I intend to fill you with, because you do so love me as you continue to deceive me. What does your deception concern?”

  “I know of no deception.”

  He tightened his grip on her wrist. Not enough to harm, yet he wouldn’t allow her to escape. “You deny you love me?”

  Her face grew even paler. She glanced past him.

  He stared. She loved him but wouldn’t admit it. Why? Although he wanted to rail at her, he remained as calm as he could. “If you want me to release you, tell me how you feel. Say you love me. Say you hate me. But say the words. The truth.”

  She breathed hard.

  “Say it, Isabella.”

  She didn’t.

  Why? “If you have no feelings for me, I order you to say so.”

  “What does love matter to you? Will it stop you from claiming what is rightfully yours? Do you love me, señor? Did you speak those words in your dream, the one where you heard my declaration and confession your mind manufactured? I think not. I allowed you your rest, I built you a fire, I cooked your meal, I bathed you, and how do you reward me for my tender actions? You hound me as if I was no more than your servant.”