EVOLVED

by Jessica Gomez

  “Jesus. What are we going to do?” His voice catches, relaying his stress over the situation as he moves to sit next to me on the bed.

  “We’re already doing it. I’ll be right beside you whenever I can get to my feet.”

  “She’s strong, we both know that. She’ll make it back to us.” He grabs the back of my neck, bringing our heads together. We sit in silence for a moment, using each other for support. Sitting back, he grabs a plate of food and hands it to me. “Eat. Gather your strength.”

  Mason eats right along with me as we discuss the vision and our options. Mason promises to relay James’s dream to the others. We’re both realistic, knowing this isn’t a guarantee that we’ll get her back, but it’s all we have to go on. And James is rarely wrong.

  The next morning, we have a family breakfast, and I watch both the kids eat. I love these mornings with them, but today I’m noticing the overwhelming tiredness and strain Lillie’s kidnapping has had on them both. Even though they sleep each night, they both have dark bags under their eyes, and they’re moving sluggishly.

  “Pumpkin, why don’t you come over here and sleep with Daddy for a bit longer. You look tired.” Azami drops the rest of her food with no emotion, walks over and climbs in next to me. She turns over, facing the wall, her emotions heavy in the room.

  James tilts his head, concern written on his face. “I’m going out with Mason and Deagon today.” He nods toward Azami, telling me, talk to her.

  I nod back, understanding his meaning.

  He cleans up the plates and leaves the remaining food for Azami, in case she decides to eat. Uncovering my feet gently, I turn onto my side and pull her closer with my good hand, tucking her against me.

  “You okay, Pumpkin?” I whisper to her.

  The sadness hits me before her little body begins to shake, a giant sob escaping her moments later. “I…I mi…miss Mommy.”

  My heart cracks, fissures traveling the entire length of my beating organ. My eyes mist with tears. “I miss her too. She’ll make it back to us. We just have to find her,” I offer, trying to placate her.

  “That bad man has her. He might hurt her.” She’s trembling with fear.

  “It’s okay to be scared. I’m scared too,” I reassure her. “I want Mommy home just as badly.”

  She turns, wrapping her arms around me and nodding into my chest. “I want my mommy.”

  She cries as I hold her. Reassurance is all I have to offer. I don’t want to relay James’s dream and give her false hope. It doesn’t happen often, but he’s not right all the time. The future is ever-changing. In this version, we find her in spring, but if one string of events changes, so does the outcome. We could find her sooner or not at all. Supporting her through this is the best I can do. Promising her at this point that we’ll find her, when I’m not sure if we will, would only cause further damage to her already fragile state.

  ~~~~~

  A few hours later, Azami wakes and wiggles from my arms. I turn over, watching her climb up to her bed, and finish eating the rest of her food. She doesn’t look as tired as she had a few hours ago, and eating is always a good sign.

  Jen comes down around lunchtime to check on us. Azami is coloring, and I’m still laying on my ass. Michael made sure to tell me if I attempted to stand, the ground would cut into my new skin, not to mention the remaining blackened areas. My hands are on the mend, becoming more functional each day, but my feet still require healing before they’re useable. Touching them against anything is agony; I couldn’t imagine standing.

  “How’s it going?” She looks between Azami and me.

  “Okay.”

  “I came down to see if Azami wanted to help Sarah and me in the kitchen. We’re going to bake some breakfast bars for tomorrow.” This grabs Az’s attention and she stops coloring.

  She looks between me and Jen, deciding if she wants to leave me. Finally, she drops her crayon and moves toward Jen. She’s silent as she walks over and takes her hand, Jen looking at me with concern.

  “Having a hard morning,” I say in explanation.

  She looks sadly down at the toddler next to her. “Let’s have some fun, huh?” She swings Azami’s arm.

  A small smile tilts her lips when she looks up at Jen.

  “I’ll bring her back when we’re done,” Jen informs me.

  I’m left alone again. Each time my daughter or friends leave this room, it gets harder to stay behind. Frustration is taking over. There’s so much more that I can be doing, but instead, I’m an invalid, stuck in a room, unable to help with anything, including taking out my own piss and shit.

  Tears of frustration tickle my eyes. A shuffling in the hall has me glancing over. Soon enough, Quinn’s face pops in, smiling.

  My eyes must reveal my weakness because Quinn’s smile drops a smidgen. “You’re not turning into a pussy on us, are you?”

  His crude question makes me laugh. “No, asshole.” I sit up and prop myself against the wall.

  “Good, because you’re going to need all your manhood for this.” His smile is stretching from ear to ear as he tucks his hand behind his back.

  “What are you talking about?” I question. I don’t think I can handle any more surprises.

  “I came bearing a gift.” The smirk is still there when he pulls out a mound of fur from behind his back.

  I study it carefully, not fully understanding what he’s holding. “What the hell is that?” Whatever it is, is leopard print, confusing me more as to why he’s handing it to me.

  He laughs loud and hard, holding his ribs as he does it. “Damn, that still hurts.” He chuckles again. “I thought I remembered seeing these in one of the bags we brought back from scavenging. Michael said that when you begin to stand, you’re going to need something soft for your feet. Socks are too thin, so you’re stuck with these.” He separates them, one in each hand.

  “You brought me a pair of leopard print slippers?” My voice is mocking.

  “Sure did.” He’s so proud of himself. “Let’s put them on and see how they look.”

  The fucker bends down and places them softly on each foot. The material still bothers my skin, but nowhere near as scratchy as the blankets that cover them nightly.

  The asshat smiles, noticing the acceptance on my face. “Thanks,” I mumble.

  He puts his hand behind his ear, as if he didn’t hear me the first time. “What was that?”

  I roll my eyes and smile. “I said thanks, asshole.”

  He laughs again. “I knew you’d like them. I just had this feeling.” He shuffles himself farther into the room, taking up a perch on our chair. Sitting himself down gently, he breathes in a sigh of relief when his ass hits the chair.

  “How you feel, man?” I ask. Last time I saw him, he was still bedridden.

  “Not bad. I’m up and moving now.” Bandages are covering his middle, wrapped around his wounds.

  “Healing going all right?” I saw what he looked like when he first came in. I didn’t think he would live through it.

  “Yeah. Michael said I should be in decent shape in a couple weeks. I’m going to have one hell of a scar. A fantastic way to impress the ladies.”

  I roll my eyes. “I’m glad you’re doing good. You’re insane, by the way, going after a bear like that.”

  “You didn’t complain this morning when you were munching on his hindquarters.” We both laugh.

  “I guess not.”

  We’re silent for a moment. I know what’s coming. I don’t want to talk about her anymore. She’s already on my mind constantly, and talking about her only make it hurt more.

  “I’m sorry,” he whispers.

  “For what?”

  “Not stopping them from taking Az. They used her to get to Lillie. If I’d been able to kill that infected, they would’ve stayed with me. They took me down so damn easily.” He swallows heavily.

  “Quinn, you did what you could. I don’t blame you, and neither will Lil. I don’t know how the hel
l you got out of bed to begin with, let alone fight off an infected. I owe you for the delay you caused. If you hadn’t intercepted, Jeff could’ve taken them both…” I pause, shaking the emotion away before continuing. “Losing Lil is crushing, but if they’d taken Az too…I can’t even imagine.” Damn the frostbite, I would have died out there that first night looking for them.

  He nods. “Thanks. I’ve wanted to come down and talk sooner, but I didn’t know what to say.”

  “You don’t need a reason, Quinn. You’re family now. We stay together, no matter what.”

  He holds his chest, where I know large claw marks rake down his skin. “Thank you for accepting us.”

  “How is everyone doing? I don’t get to see them often.” Everyone takes their turns coming down to check on me, but I’m not a pretty sight, so they usually don’t stay long.

  He smiles. “Good. Gage started walking a couple days ago, keeping everyone on their toes. He has poor Naveen running around ragged chasing after him.” We share a laugh, before he finishes telling me about everyone.

  Gage has gone from walking to running, keeping everyone entertained. Azami’s with them most days in classes, playtime, or gardening. Michael’s taken over the lead role since Dane is no longer with us. Most of them are out searching for Lillie, and the ones that stay behind are on constant watch for more infected. Michael corrected the part of the wall the boulders were to secure, replacing them with more logs tethered to the main structure from the inside. The boulder’s no longer of any use. Sarah has become inverted, cooking up a storm most days, keeping to herself and Deagon. Lillie brought out the best in everyone. The family is acutely aware of her absence.

  Chapter 8

  Lillie

  How the hell is she alive?

  Ian said they voted to eliminate her, spare her from this fate.

  Dane…

  He volunteered to handle the situation. He obviously didn’t follow through. Instead, he released her, giving her the chance to haunt me again.

  My knee is throbbing with the beat of my heart in agony. Movement isn’t possible. Jeff still clings to Becky’s throat, growling in her face, but she only has hateful eyes for me. Jeff squeezes tighter, gaining her attention as she chokes.

  “Mine,” he growls, low and menacing, a tone that holds no room for argument.

  She hisses her refusal to back down.

  Jeff tilts his head, challenging her.

  She still doesn’t learn her lesson when she bears her teeth and snaps at him.

  A cruel smile passes his lips—the creepiest thing I’ve ever seen—and tosses her to his infected. The four infected that entered with him converge on her, but they don’t tear her apart like the others. Instead, they begin to tear her clothes off and drag her farther into the snow. Even though they’re infected, the smarter ones know they require warm clothes to make it through these woods. Her growls and hisses dissipate the farther away they move.

  Jeff touches my leg softly, bringing me back to my situation, the pain taking on an entire new lifeform. My eyes roll to the back of my head. I’m lightheaded, moments from passing out. Asher’s still yelling for me, his voice echoing through the hall of the cave.

  “Hurt?” Jeff asks, concerned.

  I nod, unable to speak past the pain.

  The oversized sweatpants move easier as he draws them up my leg, but once they hit my knee, bright lights flash behind my lids as I scream out. Jeff moves quickly as he adjusts the fabric. My leg’s bare to the cold elements, surprisingly soothing to the fire radiating from my knee.

  Jeff grunts. I don’t have the lady balls to look at it; I already know it’s bad.

  Metal is clanking on metal as the pressure around my ankle eases when he releases me from my chain. The small relief washes over the offended, tattered skin. The cold of the snow is beginning to seep into my bones, causing me to quake. He stands again, watching me closely, puzzling out scenarios before deciding.

  Mind made up, he squats next to me, hoisting me up over his shoulder.

  I scream.

  He doesn’t cradle me, he can’t with the damage to my appendage. Instead, he places my hips directly over his shoulder, attempting to support my injury to the front of his body. Amazed at his gentleness, I’m confused, but thanking the heavens he’s showing some humanity.

  He walks me slowly back into the cave. Through the blinding pain, I’m able to glimpse my outdoor surroundings before the cave walls swallow them. White. Everything’s white. A few pine trees breaking up the blanket of snow, giving the land some shape, but hiding any sense of direction. I watch as we pass my chain and boulder—my prison. Time seems to stand still in these caves. No sense of time, day or night. I eat when I’m fed, sleep when I’m told, and taken to the bathroom when Jeff sees fit. Have I been missing for days, weeks, or months? I’m not real sure.

  The warmth engulfs me as soon as we enter the hall and turn the corner. Asher stands next to the fire, his body as tight as a bow as his wild eyes search me out. He sees I’m covered in snow and throws a couple logs onto the fire before heading in our direction, tightening his chain to its full length.

  The room swims around me, but I can see everyone is watching us.

  “Are you okay?” Asher calls out.

  Jeff growls at him as we pass, not answering the question. He takes me to the pallet of bearskin that still adorns Asher’s bed. He lays me down as softly as possible, but still plops me on the ground. A grunt of pain escapes with the hard impact. Fidgeting, I try to ease the pain by readjusting my position. Nothing is helping, but I still don’t want to look; I know there’s something seriously wrong. Asher is trying to see me, but Jeff continues to reposition himself, blocking me from sight.

  I sit up, pausing a moment to build my courage. I open my eyes and take in the damage. My knee is alien. Comprehension of the haphazard deforming me is numbing. I scream, laying down again.

  “What?” Asher asks, trying to see around Jeff.

  “It’s dislocated!” I cry. “I’m so screwed!” What was I going to do? There’s no escaping for me now.

  “Let me see. I might be able to fix it, but we’ve got to do it now before the swelling sets in,” Asher says behind Jeff.

  Looking at my knee again, the area is already twice its normal size. I didn’t know if it could get any larger. I glance at Jeff, silently asking, hoping he understands what Asher just offered.

  “Please. It hurts so bad.” Tears are beginning to leak from the corners of my eyes. I’ve had my ass handed to me several times, and this is by far the worst of it.

  He makes his decision with a nod, turning to allow Asher to move closer.

  Asher steps past him, concentrating on me. When he gets his first look, he gasps. “Shit.”

  “Don’t say that. You’re supposed to be the calm one!” I shout at him.

  “Okay, okay, calm down. I’m going to explain this really quick so you know what I’m doing, and this guy won’t kill me for hurting you.” He glances at Jeff, waiting.

  Jeff nods, understanding. After everything I’ve seen and experienced since being here, his comprehension still astonishes me.

  Jeff moves toward my head, and Asher takes his place next to the offended appendage. “I’m not going to lie to you, this is going to hurt like hell.” He pauses, gauging his angles. My knee’s bent, unable to straighten. “I’m going to slowly straighten your leg as I manipulate your kneecap back into place.” He’s watching me carefully, probably waiting for me to freak out, which I’m very close to doing.

  “How do you know how to do this?” I ask, attempting to take my mind off the task at hand.

  “My brother used to dislocate his all the time when we played ball. We were too poor to go to the ER each time, so I got good at placing it.” He shrugs, but his eyes sadden thinking about the memories.

  “Lucky me,” I reply sarcastically.

  “No talk. Fix,” Jeff orders.

  Asher cups my knee gently with one hand, whi
le the other slips under my ankle. “Ready?”

  I breathe out deeply, closing my eyes and nod. The compression is horrendous as he applies more pressure. I can feel the small disc sliding through my skin—slow at first, but then quick as it returns to its proper place. The tension immediately eases as Asher rubs the muscles and tendons softly.

  “Thank you,” I huff.

  “No problem.” He turns to Jeff. “She’ll need to get some ice on it several times a day for a few days, starting now.” He waits a moment to see if Jeff responds. “Snow will work.” He points toward the entrance, then reaches for a cloth next to his bed. “Fill this up with snow.”

  Jeff takes the cloth from Asher, tossing it over to his bed. He studies me again for a moment, then softly pushes me aside so he can move the bearskins back to his side of the room. He finishes with the bottom layer, fluffing it, before coming over to get me. Picking me up, he places me on the newly made bed, returning for the blankets. The heaviness of it on my knee is painful, but a blessing at the same time from its weight.

  Jeff leaves the cave, returning only moments later, carrying more than the snow. He trudges next to me and drops the boulder next to us, the chain glaring from only feet away. He picks up the clasp and turns back to me.

  My eyes widen. I can barely walk, let alone run in socked feet through the snow. “No.” I pull away the best I can. “Please, I won’t run. My leg hurts. I don’t want that thing on.”

  He pauses, watching me. He glances at my knee and ankle, realizing I’m completely immobile now, and tosses the chain to the side. He begins to prop me up, and then places the cold, snow filled shirt on my knee. He angles me so the melting runoff falls away from my bed.

  The infected that has Abbey, growls loudly in protest of my care. The rest of the room is watching too. Until the infected growled, I almost forgot others were in the cave. Jeff turns, puffing his chest out in challenge, nostrils flaring. The infected that stood glances between Jeff and me for a moment, determining if it’s worth the fight. Ultimately, deciding to back down, he returns to his dinner. The rest of the room slowly goes back to their morning routine, as if nothing happened at all.