Fighting Temptation (Men Of Honor)

by LYNN, K. C.

  I clear my throat, “I’m sorry, I… I didn’t realize you were changing.” I close the door and quickly make my way downstairs into the kitchen.

  Leaning over the sink I put a shaking hand to my stomach feeling like I’m going to be sick, “Oh god, oh god,” I choke out quietly, trying to hold in my sobs.

  How could someone do that to him? To anyone? What does the tattoo mean?

  I snap out of my thoughts when I hear Jaxson come into the kitchen behind me. I quickly wipe away my tears and try to hide the fact they were just there and start busying myself around the kitchen.

  I clear my throat, “What do you want for breakfast? I can make eggs, pancakes…”

  “Julia,” Jaxson tries interrupting me but I keep moving and talk over him.

  “I don’t have any bacon but I can make french toast or if you like we can go into town and eat at the diner.”

  “Julia stop!” he reaches out and pulls me against him.

  I don’t hide my tears anymore. I reach up on my tip-toes and wrap my arms tightly around his neck, “Oh my god, what did they do to you?”

  He lifts me up and I wrap my legs around his waist. He walks over and sets me on the counter but stays between my legs as I hold him tight.

  “Don’t cry for me Jules,” he whispers gruffly rubbing my back.

  “I hate that someone hurt you,” I squeeze him tighter, wanting to take away his pain.

  “We made it out, it’s over.” When he says ‘we’ it makes me remember he wasn’t the only one hurt. I lean back and look at him, “Were Sawyer and Cade the other ones with you?”

  He nods his head. I close my eyes and cry harder, “Are they okay?”

  Jaxson leans his forehead against mine. “Ya baby they’re okay. We all are. We’re a little fucked up maybe, but what else is new?” He grins and I know he’s trying to make me laugh but there’s nothing funny about it.

  “Don’t make jokes.”

  His expression turns serious, “Do you understand now Julia? Do you get why I sent you away. I see you hurt like this and it fucking kills me. Trust me when I say what you would have seen in that hospital was 100 times worse than what you just saw.”

  I think about this for a moment, then nod, “Yes I understand, but it doesn’t change the fact that I wanted to be there for you. Yes it would have hurt me to see you like that but I wanted to help you, I wanted to make it better for you.”

  “After seeing the tattoo don’t you understand that you did? The angel is you Julia, you were always there with me in the darkness. Every time those fuckers came in to torture us I went into my mind and I thought about you.” My breath seizes in my lungs at his words. “I would think about your smile and your beautiful eyes. Then I would think about the night I was buried into your warm body and I would completely lose myself in you. It made everything I went through bearable, it made me fight to get the fuck out of there.”

  His beautiful words are my undoing. I grab his shirt and crush my mouth to his. It takes him no time to come out of his stunned state and kiss me back. The kiss is raw and powerful as we assault each other with our mouths. I gasp for air when he moves his mouth from mine and trails his lips along my neck. Pushing me to my back on the counter he leans over me while still standing between my legs. He pulls the top of my tank top and bra down together freeing my breasts. He groans and latches on to my nipple with his hot mouth. Arching, I moan and thread my fingers in his still damp hair. My body burns hot with need; I rock my hips and whimper when I come into contact with his hard stomach. I keep rocking frantically into him, needing any pressure to help relieve the throbbing that is happening between my legs. Jaxson reaches between our bodies and snaps open my button and quickly shoves his hand in my panties.

  “Ah fuck!” he curses harshly, rubbing my wetness up and down me, making me whimper.

  Once he lubes his fingers with my arousal he roughly slams two fingers inside me. “Ahh yes!” I grab onto his biceps, my fingers getting lost in the grooves of his muscles. My moans and whimpers are so loud from the sensations taking over my body that I don’t hear the knock on the door, not until Jaxson tenses.

  I still and listen again, praying it’s not… yup it’s my door.

  “Are you fucking serious?” Jaxson asks exasperated.

  All I can do is whimper and it’s not a pleasure-filled whimper either, it’s torture-filled. Tears leak from my eyes because I’m throbbing painfully with so much need.

  I gasp in shock when Jaxson starts thrusting his fingers inside of me again. I look into his ice blue gaze that burns hot with lust. “I won’t leave you baby but you only have a few seconds here, so try not to be too loud.” He has a wicked grin on his face, and it’s so sexy that I grab his head and crush his lips to mine again. I rock my hips into the rhythm of his fingers and my breathing speeds up with anticipation of my climax. Jaxson lifts his mouth, “That’s it baby, let go.” He presses down on my clit while he thrusts his fingers roughly inside me. That was it. I come apart… a total shaking mess. Jaxson crashes his mouth to mine again, inhaling my moans.

  After I’m limp and sated I notice the knocking has stopped. All of a sudden I feel a vibrating between my legs, “Eek!” I yelp, startled.

  Jaxson chuckles, “It’s just my phone.”

  He pulls his hand out from my shorts and I gasp when he takes the 2 fingers that were inside of me and sticks them in his mouth, sucking my wetness off of them.

  He groans, his face savage, “Go to the bathroom and get decent; it’s Cooper.” With that he turns and walks away to answer the door.

  I get up and right my shirt then shakily I hurry into the bathroom, my legs feeling like jello from the intense orgasm that just crashed through me. I splash water on my face to try and rid the flushed skin tone. I hear Jaxson and Cooper talking from the kitchen… Hearing Cooper’s voice makes me remember Kayla and I start to feel angry. I take a deep breath to try and tamp it down, not wanting to give anything away.

  Exiting the bathroom I walk into the kitchen. Jaxson’s lust filled expression has disappeared, in its place is frustration and anger. Cooper turns and has the same look, but he also has a hard time looking me in the eye… I’m assuming he can guess what Jaxson and I were up to.

  “Hi Julia.”

  “Cooper,” I say in acknowledgement. I must have let the anger I’m feeling creep into my voice because both he and Jaxson look at me now in confusion.

  Cooper clears his throat, “Uh I wanted to come by and let you know that I served Jennings the restraining order today and I also laid into him about coming over here last night. He shouldn’t be bothering you again.”

  I let out a breath, feeling bad for being rude to him, “Thank you,” I say a little more softer this time.

  He nods his head, “Also, I found out it was Jenny who told him about the restraining order. I fired her this morning.”

  “You didn’t have to do that,” I say feeling guilty, even though I know I shouldn’t.

  Jaxson grunts, “The bitch is lucky that’s all she got.”

  “If you see Wyatt anywhere I want you to call me right away. If by chance he shows up at the same place as you he has to leave immediately, not the other way around.”

  “Ok,” I say feeling guilty again, which is so stupid because I know he deserves this. “He must have been pretty mad huh?” I ask chewing my nail nervously.

  Cooper shrugs, “Ya and also surprised. I think he was hoping he scared you enough yesterday to drop it. I’m glad you didn’t, he knows now that you’re serious so I do believe he will leave you alone. Either way I think it’s good Jaxson stays here for a while with you.”

  I look over at Jaxson, his expression is completely void of any emotion and I know right away we won’t be picking up where we left off, much to my disappointment.

  “Anyways I better get back, but I wanted to come by and tell you in person, that it has been taken care of.”

  I narrow my gaze at him, “Where are you going?” I
don’t mean for it to come out so suspicious but it does.

  “Uh back to work.”

  “You sure about that?” Ugh shut up Julia!

  Cooper looks at me like I’ve lost my mind, I can also tell he’s annoyed with my question. “Yes I’m sure, why?”

  I shrug, “Just curious. Thanks for stopping by.” I walk over to the sink and get a glass of water for myself. Out of the corner of my eye I see Cooper look over at Jaxson, asking silently if he knows what’s going on. Jaxson shrugs, letting him know he has no idea.

  Damn, I hope I didn’t ruin anything and he figured us out. Coop shakes his head and mumbles a goodbye then he’s out the door. I feel Jaxson staring at me but I ignore it and pay close attention to the glass of water in my hand.

  “What was that all about?”

  “What?” I feign ignorance.

  “Your suspicious questions, that’s what?”

  “I just wondered if he was going back to work.”

  “Where else would he be going?”

  “I don’t know Jaxson, do you?” Shit! Now I’m accusing him too.

  “What the fuck is with you?”

  I let out a deep breath, “Sorry, never mind… forget I said anything.”

  I decide to change the subject to another topic, but not any less uncomfortable, “So are we going to talk about what just happened?”

  He shrugs, “Nothing much to say, heat of the moment, we got wrapped up in our emotions.”

  “Really Jaxson, that’s how we’re going to play this?”

  “What do you want me to say Julia? I don’t know what the hell to do. Do I want to fuck your brains out? Ya I do, but what do we do after that?”

  “Why do we have to decide? Why can’t we just see where it goes?”

  “Jesus Julia, I don’t know how to do that, I’ve never had a fucking girlfriend before. You know that.”

  I roll my eyes, “Well it’s quite easy Jaxson, see it would be exactly what we are now except we get to have sex, lots of sex. Sounds like a damn good deal to me.”

  He doesn’t smile like I hope for him to.

  “And what do we do when our time is up? Because once we change our relationship, there’s no going back to just being friends.”

  “Why do we have to have a time limit?”

  “Because Julia, one day you’re going to want to get married and have kids, something I never ever plan to have.”

  My stomach sinks when he says this and my heart twists with pain, “Ya well, as much as I really want kids one day Jaxson, it’s never going to happen because I can’t have children.” The words are raw and painful when they come out.

  “What the hell are you talking about you can’t have kids?”

  I swallow thickly and look away when I explain, “I have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. I found out after I came back from your graduation. I had a physical with my doctor after we… well you know, and it came up. I don’t ovulate because I don’t have menstrual cycles often like I should. It’s why I am on the pill. The doctor told me my chances of ever having children are slim to none.”

  “Shit!” Jaxson walks over and hugs me now, “I’m sorry Julia, you would make a good mom.”

  I shrug my shoulders and stay silent, not wanting to talk about it, it’s too painful.

  “Look, let’s just take one step at a time, let’s get back what we had before, then we can go from there. I don’t want to lose you again Julia.”

  “You didn’t lose me Jaxson, you pushed me away. There’s a difference.”

  With that I slip out of his grasp and walk away, he does nothing to stop me, but I didn’t expect him too. I’m tired of being rejected and I decide from here on out, no more attempts on my part. The rest is up to him.

  A few days later I’m standing at my kitchen sink cursing up a storm. I try to pry the handle on the tap up, but can’t, the damn thing is stuck.

  “What’s wrong?” Jaxson asks, walking up behind me.

  “The stupid tap is jammed. Ugh! I should just buy a whole new sink, the damn thing is like 100 years old anyways.”

  Jaxson pushes me to the side, “Watch out, I got this.”

  I roll my eyes at his arrogance.

  At first he tries to pull it up firmly but not too hard, finally he gives up and decides to really reef on it. All of a sudden there’s a loud pop… oh no! I yelp and jump out of the way quickly as water sprays out everywhere, all over Jaxson.

  “Fuck!” Jaxson tries screwing back on the handle that he just ripped off, all the while water is soaking his chest and face. Finally he gets it back on.

  “Shit,” he says breathing heavily, looking a little stunned.

  I stand frozen with my hand cupped over my mouth, my body shaking as I try to hold in my laughter.

  Jaxson turns and glares at me, “Are you laughing?”

  I shake my head, but a snort escapes me, proving my lie.

  “You think this shit is funny Julia?” he asks annoyed, but has a gleam in his eye.

  Uh-oh, I know that look. I turn around and bolt as fast as I can, I hear Jaxson close behind me. I speed up and try running up the stairs into my bedroom so I can lock my door, of course I’m nowhere near fast enough.

  He grabs me from behind and carries me up the rest of the stairs into the main bathroom.

  “Oh my god, what are you doing!?” I shriek, trying to kick free.

  Jaxson holds me against him with one arm while he leans over with the other one, turning on the shower.

  “Oh my god, you wouldn’t!” I squirm and manage to get free from his grasp. Yet again I don’t make it far before he has me back against him.

  “Jaxson don’t you dare! I mean it, I will kick your ass.”

  He grunts, then lifts me into the warm water with all my clothes still on. I gasp and try to escape but Jaxson comes in holding me under the spray till I’m soaked.

  Ugh! My hair looked really damn good today too. “I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!”

  Jaxson snickers and I give him my best glare. “What are you going to do about it Julia?” he asks arrogantly.

  Warm water pours down me while I look him over, his wet shirt is plastered to his hard body… Suddenly something perfect comes to mind.

  He loses his smirk and looks nervously at my smug smile.

  I saunter closer to him, “I can think of a few things to do.” I make my voice breathless as I run my finger slowly down his chest to the waist band of his jeans.

  “What are you doing?” he asks gruffly.

  I look down and grab his hard length through his wet jeans and squeeze.

  “Shit!” he sucks in a sharp breath and drop his head back against the wall.

  Holy crap! I forgot how big he is.

  “You know Jaxson, I owe you for the other day and I’m thinking now would be a good time to repay you.”

  I drop to my knees in front of him and unsnap his jeans.

  “Oh fuck!” his breathing is harsh and his muscles tense. Although I’m only messing with him I can’t help it when my own breathing speeds up with desire.

  Once I unzip him I push open the flaps of his jeans. Leaning in I press a soft kiss to his hard length through his black boxer briefs. He groans loudly and, I’m not going to lie, it’s not just my clothes that are wet now.

  I look up and see Jaxson’s jaw clenched, his eyes shut, waiting for me to take him in my mouth.

  “Oh wait, what am I doing?” Jaxson’s eyes snap open as I stand up, “I totally forgot… friends only.” I give myself a little tap on the head, his eyes narrow dangerously at me.

  I let out a big dramatic sigh, “Well I guess I better go and change now.” I give him a quick pat on the chest then I turn around to step out of the shower.

  “I don’t fucking think so,” he spins me around and crushes his mouth to mine roughly. And I’m a total sucker, wrapping my arms around his neck I kiss him back with everything I have. He picks me up easily and I wrap my legs around his waist, as he slams us against t
he shower wall.

  He tears his mouth away from mine, his expression savage, “It’s time you learned just who is in control here Julia.” I moan loudly when he slams his hips against the spot I crave him most.

  Oh god he can be really sexy when he’s arrogant. He bends his head down and grazes his teeth over my stiff nipple through my thin wet tank top. I whimper and dig my nails into his shoulders.

  All of a sudden Jaxson tenses under me and freezes.

  “What?” I ask breathlessly.

  Then I hear it… a knock on my door.

  Oh my god. This is not happening right now.

  Jaxson speaks my thoughts, “Are you fucking kidding me?” He looks at me now, “Are you expecting someone?”

  I shake my head, someone bangs on the door again and not all that gently. “Ignore it,” I say crashing my mouth to his again. I rock my hips against his hardness making him groan and kiss me back.

  They finally stop knocking and decide to ring the doorbell.

  “Shit!” Jaxson says harshly, prying his perfect mouth from mine. He looks at me with regret. “We should answer it, it may be Cooper.”

  I decide if it is Cooper again, I’m going to kill him.

  I slide down Jaxson’s hard body as he releases me. “Who’s going to answer it?” I ask, taking in our wet state.

  Jaxson looks at my plastered tank top and grunts, “Definitely not you. I’ll answer it, go change.”

  I giggle and grab a towel as I dash out of the bathroom into my room. I dry my hair as best as I can with the towel. My wet clothes are a bit of a challenge to get off. I trade my wet tank and capris for a light denim jean skirt and a sage green lace tank top that shows some cleavage. I’m not going to lie, I’m hoping this will tempt Jaxson to finish what we started. I know I said he had to be the first to make the move from now on, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to make it easy on him.

  As I open my bedroom door and make my way downstairs I hear a couple of male voices that I don’t recognize. Wondering who it could be I walk quickly into the kitchen.