Memoire of a Stripper-These are my Confessionz

by Summer Rose

  Just then, I heard someone else clearing their throat, even louder.

  Leah let go of her extremely tight embrace to turn and see Tina standing behind us with a half smile and half smirk on her face.

  “Surprise Nina,” she sounded dry, but disguised it with cheer as she extended her arms for a hug.

  I obliged.

  “Congratulations baby, I’m so proud of you.” “Thank you, sweetheart. What are you doing here?”

  “It’s your graduation sweetie, I wouldn’t miss this for the world!” she shrieked and handed me a wrapped box with a big red bow on it.

  “I will open this later. I need to finish packing my stuff so I can get out of here. Leah will you help me?” I motioned her to meet me in back.

  “Hell yea, girl who’s she?” she asked running behind me.

  I looked back to see the smile on Tina’s face fade. I told her I would be back after I grabbed some things. I still couldn’t shake the fact that I didn’t want to be in a relationship with her anymore. I couldn’t even hide it.

  It just wasn’t there.

  “I’ve seen her before, haven’t I?” Leah asked

  “She’s been up here before to meet me for lunch or something, so you probably have,” I quickly said.

  I was so glad to get away from Tina. Leah must have seen the look of the relief on my face because she rolled her eyes and said, “So that’s the hoe you dissed me for?”

  I looked at Leah, not sure to take her seriously because she was so flaky. She would say damn near anything. I didn’t even bother saying anything; I had bigger fish to fry.

  I stuck my head out the corner of the break room to see if Tina was still at the front desk.

  I could see anger on her face and as I studied the direction of her eyes. She was staring at Sundae!

  What is she doing here!

  I spun around.

  “What the hell?” I shouted.

  I motioned for Leah. “Leah, I need your help. Come here.”

  Leah came bouncing over. “What’s up boo?” “What’s with this boo shit, Leah?”

  “Girl…..” she started to say

  “Never mind, tell me later. I need to think.”

  Think Nina, think! Damn, what is Sundae doing here?

  I took a deep breath and sat down. I felt like I was going to throw up. I knew there was about to be some drama up in here if I didn’t get out.

  What was Sundae doing here?

  I wouldn’t be so upset if Tina wasn’t here. I would actually be okay with it.

  “Why do I feel like I’ve done something wrong?” I asked myself aloud.

  “What did you do, boo?” Leah asked, wide-eyed chewing and popping gum in my face.

  “I was talking to myself, Leah, and if you call me boo one more time…”

  “Well, baby, I’m here for you. Talk to me, not yourself because apparently you are not on your side.”

  “Leah, where do you get this stuff?” I shrieked. “Jerry Springer. He give advice after his show, and I…”

  “Uggg. You are crazy girl! I don’t have time for this!”

  I couldn’t be mad at her because she was funny and kept me on my toes. She was cool and I needed her to help me out of this shit, but how?

  We sat in back near the lockers in silence until Leah finally spoke.

  “Why are you in such a panic? Look, if you need my help tell me what to do so we can fix it. I can help you better if I knew what you needed.” she was finally talking with some sense.

  “Thanks Leah, you’re a good friend and I appreciate you helping me. “The girl that came with the gift is…”

  Just as I was about to let the cat out of the bag, Tia came to interrupted me.

  “Nina, I don’t know what’s going on out there, but you need to get to the front and check your guests,” she said with her hand on her hip as if she knew what was up.

  “Damn! I can’t believe this shit!” I got up and headed to the front of the school with Leah following like a puppy.

  When I got there, Tina and Sundae were arguing about why she was there.

  I stood in between them and told them both to stop it. I grabbed Tina by the arm, started walking out, and told Sundae to come too.

  “What the hell is wrong with you two?” This is my graduation and whatever beef you got with each other, have it somewhere else!” I whispered.

  I wanted to yell and curse them both out, but I hated public embarrassment.

  “Nina, what is she doing here?” Tina demanded. “I don’t know. She’s standing right here, why don’t you ask her?” I snapped.

  “I’m here to give you a gift, Luscious.” Sundae started to say.

  “Please, don’t call me that here. My name is Nina in public,” I warned.

  “I’m sorry. Nina, I remember you told me that you were finishing soon. I called your school last week and they told me you were graduating today. I wanted to surprise you with a graduation gift.” She extended a beautifully wrapped package in gold with a purple bow.

  “My favorite colors, thank you S...” I went for the box when Tina grabbed it.

  “Excuse me, you do see me standing here, don’t you?” she growled. “You’re just gonna take that right in front of me?”

  “Yes, Tina. This has nothing to do with you. If I take it later, you would say I took it behind your back and then accuse me of doing way more!”

  “I can’t believe you are gonna disrespect me like that, Nina!” she stormed off.

  “Tina.” I called after her.

  “No, fuck you and that bitch. It’s over!” she screamed.

  I stood in my tracks, frozen. I couldn’t move nor did I know how to move. She had just done my job for me.

  I turned to Sundae and smiled as I looked down at the gift that Tina threw on the ground before she left. I picked up the gift and shook it to see if it was something breakable.

  “I will open this later.” I laughed.

  “Nina, I’m sorry. I didn’t come here to cause problems for you,” she said. “I just came to bring you a graduation gift.”

  “It’s okay, really. I think you helped me more than anything.”

  She looked confused, “I don’t understand.”

  “Trust me; I’m happy you’re here. I need a drink. Come on, I’ll buy you one too.”

  “No, I’ll only go if I can treat you, graduation girl!” she sang.

  “Cool, let me get my stuff and let’s blow this joint!”

  I felt relieved already.

  Chapter 14

  Then There Was Religion

  I woke up to loud screeching sirens, horns blowing and people scattering about the halls. The sun was beaming directly in my face and I moaned in exhaustion.

  I made it to Dallas a few days earlier and was excited about getting my feet wet in a new city. Dallas was full of exciting things, like buildings with oil- rigs on top of them. Some were lit up in neon green lights with an ‘X’ design over the entire building. There was a nightclub directly by the lake and was populated by the cities’ finest people.

  Dallas was a beautiful city and so were the people. Gorgeous men and women of all nationalities surrounded the largest state in America.

  There is something exciting in each city like a restaurant in Grapevine Mills Mall called Rainforest.

  It’s set up like a jungle with mechanic animals and trees everywhere with the perception of actual rain with lightning.

  In Arlington, there’s Six Flags over Texas, Wet and Wild, and the Texas Stadium. The list goes on and on with different highlights in many of the surrounding cities. I had visited Dallas before, but not with the intent to live there.

  I wanted to see if this was a change, I was ready to make. I knew I had to do it alone.

  I rolled over, hit the radio button on the alarm clock, and scanned the stations for some ‘wake-up music’.

  I found 104.5 and jumped out of bed to do my happy dance to Biggie Smalls, “Hypnotize.”

 
I had a busy day ahead of me and I wasn’t going to waste it in a hotel room. I hopped in the shower and cleaned every area of skin. I didn’t want a stench of funk when I did my audition. I can’t stand when a funky bitch goes to work stinking, as if no one can smell her.

  After getting dressed and preparing my bag for the club, I went to drive around so I would know where the club was. I was already lost and I didn’t want to have to drive around lost in the dark.

  The sun was bright and had already started to heat the city. I stopped at a nearby restaurant to grab breakfast and get directions to a nearby highway. I decided to order through the drive-thru and eat on route.

  I noticed a few crickets by the sign, but thought nothing of it until I reached the window to pay.

  I nearly hit a car slowly pulling off ahead of me, because I was horrified. There were crickets everywhere!

  It looked like an invasion of the crickets’ horror movie!

  I shrieked at the girl standing in the drive-thru window.

  “What the hell is going on with all these crickets?”

  “It’s like that this time of the year here, I don’t know where they come from, but it’s extremely hard to get rid of them.”

  “Doesn’t it affect business?” I asked, grossed out.

  “No, people that live here are used to it, but don’t worry, they’re harmless,” she assured.

  I paid for my food, got directions, and started on my journey to find my new home of entertainment.

  The more I drove, the more excited I became.

  This place was wonderful; I felt a sense of freedom as if I could be whoever I wanted to be, and do whatever I wanted to do. I knew that no matter what, I did the right thing leaving. I had nothing left for Oklahoma except painful, useless memories of my ex’s and a life of boredom.

  I was mentally way ahead of my time and Oklahoma had years to catch up. When I was there, I constantly found myself feeling as if I had fell in a time machine and could not get back to the future!

  My friends could see that I was always bored or always gone. I was always trying to find something, anything that I could do different. I was a risk-taker, an explorer of excitement, a dweller of gold that was unobtainable in that box!

  I knew I had to get out, but didn’t know how. Now that I had the idea, and motivation to leave, I was taking every chance I had. I packed my things that night after graduation and started on the highway of a new life.

  Tina was still there packing her things and apologizing for her actions earlier that day.

  I wasn’t trying to hear anything she was saying. I had heard that song one too many times. I was so bored with that same roller coaster ride of mixed up, damaging emotions.

  I felt that if I stayed in that mess with her, I only had two choices. That was, I would end up going to jail or lying in a casket.

  I chose Freedom!

  I gave her two weeks to have everything out and to arrange for another place to live.

  I had to lie to her and tell her I had already put in a thirty-day notice with the property owner and was going to get an apartment until I could find another place.

  It just so happen to work out better this way, because I could find a place in Dallas, alone.

  I smiled at the thought that I made the right choice in leaving and felt as if a weight had been lifted! Tina wasn’t my responsibility and I was tired of the vicissitudes with her. She was constantly trying to control me and with her obsessive focus on me, she wasn’t able to get a grip on her own life.

  That led to me being responsible for paying all the bills. I bought her a car, paid her cell phone, weed, and liquor bill, and gave her gas money. I wasn’t trying to be super-save-a-hoe. I just wanted a sweet companion, which turned sour.

  Good riddance. Happy days are here again!

  I whirled around the many highways, and made it to one of the clubs I had chosen to audition for. It was horrible!

  It looked nothing like the pictures I had seen in the phone book. It was old, small and in a bad part of town.

  It didn’t look or feel safe with the homeless people walking around, weed bags and broken bottles in the parking lot.

  I looked down at my list of choices and scratched it off, fast. I looked up and one the homeless persons were at my window.

  “EEEEUUU!” I screamed and pulled out of there like I was on fire. I didn’t have anything against the homeless, he just scared me.

  I was driving so fast and not paying attention that I almost hit a car pulling out of a nearby gas station.

  I lost control of the car, spun around and came to a stop before nearly crashing into a wall. I saw my life flash before my eyes. I grabbed my heart, which was pounding hard. I had to lay my head back on the headrest to catch my breath.

  Just then, I heard a knock on my window. There was a middle-aged white man standing there with a smile and look of concern on his face.

  “Are you okay young lady?” he asked.

  “Yes, I think so,” I said in a shaken voice.

  “Are you sure, because I know that was scary. You almost hit this wall.” He said pointing at the brick wall.

  “Yea, that was pretty scary, but really, I’m fine now,” I assured.

  “Well do you mind if I talk to you without glass between us?” he gestured me to roll down the window. I was so distraught from the whole event that had just happened; I hadn’t realized that the window was still up. Still, I was reluctant to let it down.

  I thought about it and decided he seemed somewhat trust-worthy. I rolled down the window just halfway and apologized.

  “That’s okay, there are some crazies out here, and I don’t blame you for being cautious. What are you doing in this neighborhood alone?” he asked curiously.

  “I’m lost I guess. I’m trying to find the highway.”

  “Which direction, are you headed? Maybe I can be of some assistance.”

  I didn’t want to tell him where I was going. I didn’t know this man, from the man on the moon and I didn’t want to end up on the news.

  I began thinking that maybe I should’ve called Pretty before I left and had her come out here with me.

  She did, after all offer to come with me, and to my knowledge, she didn’t tell Tina what we were talking about that night of my party.

  My reservations of calling her were the fact that she was one of Tina’s friends. I wasn’t for sure that I could trust her to keep my business to herself. I didn’t need Tina’s ass coming up here and wrecking my flow.

  If she knew where I was, she would be up here right now.

  I must have been in deep thought because I had

  totally forgotten that he was still there waiting for an answer to the question, which I had forgotten too.

  “I’m sorry, what was your question again?”

  “I asked where you were headed, so I could help you out with directions. This is no place for you to be lost, kid,” he warned.

  “I’m not sure, but if you could get me back to highway I-35N, I’m sure I could find my way from there.”

  “Okay, you can follow me and I will take you to the highway. How long are you here for?”

  “I’m here to look for a job and possibly move here. However long that takes.”

  “Oh, really? Where are you coming from?” he asked.

  I didn’t answer. This was the topic I was trying to avoid.

  “Look, I’m here to help you if I can, and if you will let me. Trust me.”

  “Ok, I trust you, but let’s ease up on the info for now.” I warned.

  He raised a brow and stepped back to get a better look. “Deal, for now, but I do have one more question.”

  I rolled my eyes. “What is it?”

  “Are you at least eighteen, because you look awfully young?”

  “Yes, but older. I’m legal, barely.”

  He didn’t respond for a couple of minutes. When he did, he still had a look of concern in his eyes.

  “Alright, I beli
eve you; it’s just that I have to be cautious in my line of work.”

  “What kind of work is that?”

  He looked up in the sky. Then back at me. “Let’s just say I work for a higher power.”

  I wasn’t sure what he meant by a “higher power,” I thought that maybe he was just a little off.

  “I won’t pry; I’ll wait till you feel comfortable enough to tell me.”

  “Cool, I will open that door when you open yours,” he promised.

  “Ok, so how about directions? I must be on my way and I don’t want to hold you up any longer.”

  “Really it’s no problem, but I understand.

  You’re going to follow me right?”

  “Sure, thank you so much for your help, I really appreciate it.”

  “Well then maybe you will show your appreciation by telling me your name and having dinner with me tonight.”

  I hesitated because I wasn’t sure what name to give him. I was use to Luscious, but I wasn’t sure if I should give a total stranger my name or go out with him to dinner. I didn’t want to say no, at least not until I got out of the hood.

  There was something about him that made me feel comfortable enough to say “yes.”

  “My name is Nina and I would love to have dinner with you, when you tell me your name.”

  “Excuse my manners, my name is Ralph. Ralph McGhee.

  He went into his jacket pocket, got a card, and handed it to me.

  “My contact info is all there, feel free to call anytime. How can I contact you?”

  “I will call you later and meet you for dinner. If everything goes well, I will give you my number.” I promised.

  He frowned, and then smiled.

  “I have to make sure you’re not a psycho killer or something.” I giggled.

  He winked and smiled. “Trust me, I’m far from that. If anything, I may be your savior in more ways than one.”

  I wondered what that meant as he walked away and got in his car.

  I finally made it to the club. I was exhausted and still had an audition to do. This was the second club on my list and I liked the name, The Cabaret. The club was huge with cameras everywhere. There were limos parked in valet with a parking attendant standing out front with a silly grin on his face.