The Perfect Mistress

by ReShonda Tate Billingsley

  “My son is a very busy man and besides, he lives in Texas.”

  “Too busy to come see about his mama? You been here six months and I ain’t never seen him.”

  “Hush up,” she said. “Don’t nobody visit you.”

  “I ain’t got nobody.” He threw his hands up. “But I’m just saying.”

  “Well, he will be here soon and I couldn’t be more thrilled.”

  Several more of her “friends” came over to the table, and they laughed and talked about the weather, the new overnight tech, and a little bit of everything else. Joyce could tell that they were surprised at how pleasant she was.

  They had no idea. Julian was her heart. Her precious baby who had always had her back—unlike her backstabbing daughter.

  “Well, it’s time for me to go,” she said, glancing at her watch.

  Joyce had dressed in her finest outfit in anticipation of Julian’s visit. She had on the pearls and the earrings that he had sent her for Mother’s Day.

  “She act like she’s going to see her man,” Wanda mumbled. Joyce ignored her. They were just jealous. She wasn’t going to let them steal her joy.

  She made her way to the lobby, where she took a seat and anxiously awaited her son’s arrival.

  “Somebody sure is excited,” the morning nurse, a nice woman named Amanda, said. “But then again, I can see why you would be.” She motioned toward the young man walking down the corridor with a gigantic bouquet of roses. Just the sight of her son walking toward her, the spitting image of his father, sent Joyce’s heart fluttering. He had the same high cheekbones, the same bronze coloring, the same curly hair, and even his deep-set almond-shaped eyes were the exact replica of his father.

  She smiled as he approached her. Because as much as he looked like his father, her son was nothing like Vernon Robinson. Julian was a dedicated family man. He was committed to his wife. He told her as much. He promised that he would never hurt a woman the way his father had hurt her. And Joyce respected and loved him so much for that.

  “Mama,” he said, swooping her up and swinging her around.

  She giggled like a schoolgirl. “Boy, put me down.” She took the flowers out of his hand, then kissed his cheek. “I am so happy to see you.”

  “I’m sorry it has taken me so long to visit,” he said.

  “You hush up with that. You are a busy family man. And you’re trying to take care of your family. How are they?”

  “They’re good. I can’t wait to show you pictures of the twins. They’re getting so big.”

  “I sure would like to see them,” she said.

  She’d gone to visit the twins when Rebecca had given birth. Joyce stayed for two weeks, but Rebecca was one of those free-spirited women that liked to feed babies water before they were three months, and she’d gone ballistic because Joyce had let the babies suck on her finger. So Joyce headed back home, feeling that she had worn out her welcome.

  She had to admit that she was a little hurt that she hadn’t been invited back since, but Julian assured her it wasn’t because of Rebecca, who he swore adored her. A part of Joyce wanted her son to demand that she go back with him. But he’d been adamant that she was in the best place. And that as soon as she got better he’d be more than happy to come and get her.

  “So, come, come,” he said, taking her arm in his. “Tell me about how life has been treating you. What’s been going on?”

  Joyce draped her free arm through his. “Well, as you can see, I’ve been trying to stay busy. The doctors have me on this aggressive treatment that I hate.”

  “Good. That’s all I want to hear,” Julian replied. “And the therapist?”

  Joyce rolled her eyes.

  “Mother . . .”

  “I’m going. I ain’t gotta like it, but I’m going.”

  “Good,” he said with a smile. “Have you talked to Lauren?”

  She shrugged. “She was here last weekend. But today is about us.”

  “Yes, it is about us. All of us. And that’s why I asked Lauren to meet us here.”

  Joyce lost her smile. The last thing she felt like doing was sharing her son with her daughter.

  “Julian!” Joyce said. “I see her all the time. I just want to spend time with you.”

  “And that would be my cue to exit.”

  Joyce spun around to see her daughter standing behind her. She hadn’t noticed Lauren walk up. Joyce probably should’ve tried to clean up what she meant, but Lauren had attitude written all over her face, so Joyce didn’t think it was worth the try.

  However, Joyce could tell by the look on her daughter’s face that she didn’t want to be there any more than Joyce wanted her there.

  Looking at her daughter right now, Joyce truly wondered if the rift between them would ever be healed.

  “Come on,” Julian said, “it’s time to do some talking.”

  Lauren couldn’t help but notice the way her mother clung to Julian. The way she touched him. The love that resonated from her body for him. It had been a long time since she’d felt love of any kind from her mother.

  A part of Lauren wanted to leave, to pretend she’d never come. But she’d promised Julian that she would show up.

  “Hey, lil sis,” Julian said, trying to smooth over the uneasiness that was building in the room. Lauren guessed they were just going to ignore what her mother had just said.

  Lauren swallowed hard, then forced a smile. “What’s up, bro?” she said, approaching the two of them.

  “Hi, Mom.”

  “Hello, Lauren,” her mother replied. “I didn’t mean . . . I mean, it’s just been so long since I saw your brother and—”

  Lauren held up a hand to cut off her mother. “Don’t worry. I’m used to it.”

  An awkward silence hung between them until finally Julian said, “So, you’re not going to give me a hug?”

  She gave her brother a halfhearted hug. She did like to see him, since she really did love her big brother. Six long months had elapsed since she’d seen him—when they admitted their mother to this facility. But the tension that hung in the room was palpable. The no-show was being treated like the savior, and she didn’t like it.

  “You look great,” he said.

  “I try,” she replied.

  “Look at you”—he motioned to her shoes—“rocking Christian Louboutin and everything.”

  That prompted a smile. “What do you know about red bottoms?” Lauren said, holding out her foot.

  “Hmph. What man gave you those?” her mother said, a judgmental scowl across her face.

  Lauren bit off the first remark that came to her head. “It’s always so good to see you, Mother,” she said sarcastically.

  Joyce walked over and kissed Lauren on her cheek. Lauren knew that was just for show. It was the first time her lips had been near Lauren in years, and she knew the only reason her mother was doing it now was so that Lauren looked like the bad guy.

  “Well, I’m glad we’re all here,” Julian said, smiling at the exchange. “I really want us to talk. Let’s go in here.” He pointed to a small conference room off the lobby.

  “Why are we going in here?” her mother asked as she followed him in.

  Julian pulled out a chair. As they got situated around the table, a petite woman walked in the room.

  Julian came over and greeted her. “You must be Dr. Lawson?”

  “I am,” the woman said, shaking his hand. “It’s a pleasure to put a face with the voice.”

  Joyce was shocked as she looked back and forth between the two of them. “Why are you talking to her?”

  Julian sat back down and took both of his mother’s hands. “Mom, I’m really concerned about you. I want you to get better, and the therapist said it’s crucial that we deal with some deep-seated issues.”

  Joyce jerked her hands away. “I don’t need to deal with anything.”

  “No, it’s crucial that we deal with that day.”

  Lauren’s heart dropped into th
e pit of her stomach. If she had had any inkling that this is what her brother wanted, she would have taken the weekend to go to Tahiti.

  “Julian—”

  “No, Lauren,” he said, cutting her off before she could protest. “We have brushed this under the rug long enough. We tiptoe around it. Mama is getting worse.”

  “I am not,” Joyce said, getting agitated. “I told her all about it. I talked about it.” She now sounded on the verge of tears.

  “No, you told me what happened. We didn’t deal with anything,” Dr. Lawson corrected.

  Julian turned to Lauren. “We’ve got to deal with this.”

  “I just want to enjoy time with my son,” Joyce whined. “Is there anything wrong with that?”

  “I’m not interested in being here for this,” Lauren added as she stood up. The only person liable to get screwed in this heart-to-heart was her.

  “Well, as I told your brother on the phone, all three of you need to be here,” Dr. Lawson said.

  Joyce folded her arms and poked her lips out, upset.

  “So if we can get started . . .” Dr. Lawson ignored Joyce’s temper tantrum. “Please sit,” she told Lauren.

  Lauren plopped down in the seat at the end of the table, across from her mother.

  “So. Who’s going to begin?” Dr. Lawson said, taking out her notepad.

  No one said a word. Finally, Julian spoke up. “My mother and my sister need help.”

  “I don’t need help. I’m fine,” Lauren said. She didn’t understand why her brother had excluded himself from the equation like he was Mr. Perfect.

  “Their relationship needs help. The doctors have said Mama’s progression is worsening. So, I want this, as you said, addressed before it’s too late.”

  Joyce rolled her eyes.

  The doctor nodded. “I agree. I’ve been trying to get your mother to see that. So we’re going to start with you, Joyce. Why are you so mad at your daughter?” she asked point-blank.

  A heavy silence filled the air as Joyce glared at Lauren.

  “Why don’t you ask her why I’m so mad? She didn’t just cosign his cheating. She helped take him away from me for good.”

  Lauren’s hard glare bore into her mother.

  This was a conversation that Lauren had been dreading for years. And if there was any way she could have gotten out of it, she would have. But when she saw the disdain pouring from her mother, she knew that it was time. No, it was past time.

  She turned to the doctor. “You know what? Let’s lay it all out, because I’m tired. You want to know the truth? Well, sit back as I tell you how my father died, because you’re in for a ride.”

  Lauren didn’t realize that she was crying until Julian handed her a box of tissues.

  She looked across the table at her mother, who was trembling. Surprisingly, she’d kept her tears at bay.

  This was the first time Lauren had ever recounted the complete story of the night her father died. Naturally, that night Lauren had called 911. She’d been too afraid to call her mother. Of course, the police called her mother, who showed up just as they were loading her father’s body into the county medical examiner’s hearse. Her mother had been devastated. Lauren had tried to console her, to deliver her father’s dying words about apologizing, but that had only sent Joyce into a rage. So, she’d never talked about that night again.

  Until now.

  Dr. Lawson finally asked, “Joyce, do you have anything to say?”

  Lauren braced herself for her mother’s scathing remarks, but her mother just shook her head.

  Even Julian was shell-shocked. He had never heard all the details, either. No one had. Lauren didn’t know what had made her open up today. She thought it would make her feel better. Instead, the sordid tale made her feel worse than ever.

  Her daughter’s tears should have moved her, but they didn’t. They only angered Joyce even more. Lauren’s retelling of the worst night of Joyce’s life reminded her of her daughter’s betrayal.

  “He was coming home and Callie got mad.”

  Lauren had told her those words that night, but Joyce had been too distraught to process them. But when the realization set in, she realized that Vernon had chosen her. Her husband was coming home. And that woman had stopped him. And Lauren had helped her.

  Yes, Lauren had betrayed her in the worst possible way. She’d betrayed Joyce by giving Vernon those keys. If she hadn’t, he would never have left that day and maybe they would’ve worked through their difficulty like they always did. But she had, and he left and moved in with that scuzzy whore, who ultimately took his life.

  Julian instinctively reached to take his mother’s hand. Joyce glared at her daughter and didn’t realize she was crying until a tear dropped into her lap.

  Silence continued to fill the room until the doctor repeated herself: “Joyce, do you want to respond?”

  She didn’t say a word. She couldn’t say a word.

  “She doesn’t need to reply. She has always made her feelings clear,” Lauren said.

  The indignation in her voice rubbed Joyce the wrong way. “How would you suggest I feel?” she asked her daughter. Julian squeezed her tighter, no doubt trying to keep her from getting upset. But it was too late. In fact, she’d never stopped being upset.

  “You don’t have any children. But one day you will. One day you will labor, have your body distorted trying to bring a child into this world. You will bend over backward to give her the world, and after loving her from the bottom of your soul, she will turn around and stab you in the back. When that happens to you, then maybe you can tell me how I’m supposed to feel. But until you’ve experienced your flesh and blood betray you—”

  “I was a child!” Lauren screamed, cutting her off. “A damn child! How long are you going to punish me?”

  “Okay, let’s keep our voices down,” the therapist said.

  Lauren threw her hands up as she stood. “No, you know what? I’m done. All I wanted was my parents to get along. All I wanted was my daddy’s love and my mother’s love. I didn’t want to be in the middle of any marital drama. I didn’t want to be there when my daddy died. I just wanted a piece of fictional happiness and not the dysfunctional reality I lived in daily.”

  “Maybe if you had told him to come home, he would have, since you were his little princess,” Joyce said sarcastically. “It was bad enough that you stole his heart from me, but then you turned around and watched him give it to other women.”

  Lauren stared at her mother like she was crazy. “Are you freaking for real?” Her voice lowered, her words shook. “Mama, you were absent. You lay in bed all day long. Don’t you remember you couldn’t ever get out of bed?”

  “You replaced me with his whores.”

  “You wallowed in your place of despair. You left me at the age of fifteen to fend for myself.”

  They were interrupted when the therapist said, “Joyce, do you think there’s some validity to her point?”

  Of course she did. To an extent. She knew that in the beginning, her daughter didn’t realize what she was doing. But as she got older and decided to keep the secrets, she was just as much to blame as Vernon.

  Her silence prompted Dr. Lawson to continue. “That’s a lot of weight for a child to carry.”

  It didn’t matter what anyone said, though. Joyce wanted the past to stay in the past. There was no changing it, so no need to revisit it.

  “I feel woozy,” Joyce told Julian.

  Lauren rolled her eyes. “Of course. Anytime she doesn’t want to address something, she plays sick.”

  Joyce kept her focus trained on her son. “I’m sorry, baby.” She stood, wobbled, and grabbed his arm. “If you want me to keep trying, I will, but this is too much.”

  “Oh, give me a break,” Lauren huffed.

  Julian’s face, though, was blanketed with concern. “You know what? Maybe this is all too much. Maybe we should let her rest.”

  “Fine. I’m out of here.” Lauren grab
bed her purse and marched toward the door.

  “Lauren, wait,” Julian called out after her.

  Lauren spun around. “No. You got it handled. This is what she wants anyway. Her precious prince is here, and that’s all that matters. So, Julian, you stay here and you handle her.” She glared at her mother. “Because I’m done. For good.”

  Then she stormed out of the room. God forgive me, Joyce thought, but she finally felt a sense of relief.

  It was obvious that any love her mother had for her was gone. Lauren needed to face that and stop trying to force a relationship between them.

  But even as she vowed to never make this trek up I-40 again, the tears wouldn’t stop coming.

  The tears blinded Lauren as she sped down the freeway. She’d managed to keep them at bay until she pulled out of the parking lot, but then a wave swept over her. She cried for her father and her relationship with her mother, which today, she finally realized, could never be repaired.

  The funny thing is, if Lauren had to do it all over again, she didn’t know if she would do anything differently. Because she had been, after all, just a child.

  Her ringing phone snapped her out of her thoughts. Vivian’s name appeared on her caller ID. She almost didn’t answer, but maybe Vivian could take her mind off what had just happened.

  “Hey, girl.” Vivian’s voice chirped through the phone. “What’s going on?”

  Lauren let out a heavy sigh. “Nothing. Just leaving the rehab facility.”

  “Are you okay?”

  “I’m all right. Just had a horrible visit with my mother. But I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “Oh. I’m sorry to hear that. Well, let’s talk about something on a lighter note. Like your date with Thomas the other night,” Vivian said.

  That caused Lauren to stiffen her grip on the steering wheel. “That would definitely not be a lighter note. His wife showed up.”

  “What?” Vivian said. “Crazy Teresa and you’re still living to talk about it?”

  “I know, right?” Lauren replied. “I’m just . . . I’m just tired. I’m tired of all this. I’m tired of my mom. I’m tired of these guys. I just want . . .” Her voice trailed off.